Okay, a real quick recap:
Okay part 7 ended with alt-Clark bringing Wells back to his apartment, introducing him to both Loises. We still don't know what's happening with Tempus and our Lois. And the three Supermen talking and have just learned that one of them has a son.
Table of Contents From Part 7:
“Ladies? I would like to do the honor of introducing you to Mr. H.G. Wells, nineteenth-century writer and time traveler.” He turned to look at Mr. Wells and extended a hand, gesturing towards the two women. “Mr. Wells, Lois Lane and Lois Lane.”
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PART 8:
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“You... you have a son?” the Clark of this world asked him, jolting him out of his thoughts. Clark looked up at him and the pain he saw in his eyes was excruciating. His counterpart turned his face away from him, looking wistful.
Why had that knowledge seemed to hurt him so badly?
Because she was gone...
Clark knew why it had hurt him... He hadn’t had children yet... and now that chance might be lost to him.
“Yes,” Clark answered him quietly. “His name is Jason. While I was away, thinking I needed to find some link or some long lost connection to my Kryptonian family, Lois was back on Earth starting a new family. And I... I missed it.” He felt the moisture in his eyes and bit back the tears that were trying to form.
“What happened?” the Clark of this world asked softly. Obviously he could tell there was more to the story. Clark let out a pained sigh. Maybe it would be good to talk about it with these other Clarks.
“It was several years ago...” He broke off going quiet for a while. He closed his eyes and allowed his mind to wander for a few moments, thinking back to *that* night.
“This place is amazing Superm... Clark. You built it?” Lois asked him, looking around and admiring the beauty that surrounded her. She pulled a few strands of curly hair that had been tousled on the flight here away from her eyes.
He smiled, pleased at her reaction. “Yes, Lois. I call it my Fortress of Solitude. I come up here when I need to get away from the rest of the world. When I need to seek help or guidance from my Kryptonian father, Jor-El. He left me the collective knowledge of my world, of planet Krypton, in some special crystals.”
“I’m sorry,” she said simply, quietly.
“Sorry? For what?” he asked, confused.
“Sorry that you’ve had to be alone for so long. That you didn’t have anyone you could confide in.”
Clark thanked her silently with his eyes and smiled softly at her. “Maybe I have someone now...”
She smiled shyly at him through her eyelashes. “You’ve always had me. If you’d only told me... I could have been there for you. Maybe I could have helped you. Why Clark? Why did you hide from me?” she asked him, her smile falling and her voice filling with hurt.
He could hear the pain in her voice and it settled itself deep inside his heart. Why had he hidden himself from her? Because Jor-El had told him that he wasn’t one of them? That he couldn’t be one of them? Why? Why couldn’t he be? He had been raised here. He had human parents. He resembled a man in every other way, except that he had these unique powers and abilities.
Maybe his father had been wrong.
“I guess I was afraid,” he told her, his voice cracking and his throat suddenly dry.
“Afraid? Of what? Surely not of me?”
“No. Not of you. Of what could happen to you.”
“What do you mean?” She furrowed her brow at him and frowned slightly.
He sighed. “For one thing, if we were *involved* I would have to worry about who would try to use you against me. That there would be those out there who would learn that you were important to me and would try to hurt you, threaten your life, in order to control me.”
The look on her face told him that she hadn’t thought of that.
“And that’s not the only reason either. I’m not from Earth, Lois.” He swallowed trying to work moisture into his parched throat. “I’m not entirely sure that I would be... compatible with a human woman.”
“What?” She looked dazed.
He looked away from her feeling the heat in his face. Now it would be her turn to be afraid. She had fallen in love with someone who wasn’t human, who wasn’t sure he could give himself to her in the way that she deserved.
“So you’re telling me,” she continued in a deathly quiet voice, pulling him to face her, “that you’re a... a... you’ve never... I mean with another woman?” The brightening color in her face fairly glowed in the white brilliance around them.
He shook his head at her feeling the color in his own face deepen. How embarrassing. How disappointing... for her. To know that you’ve been in love with someone and to find out that you might not be able to... express that love.
“I don’t believe it,” she said firmly, crossing her arms in front of her.
What? She didn’t believe it? What that he was a... inexperienced? Or that he didn’t think he was compatible with her? “Lois...”
“No. No, Clark. How can you be sure? If you’ve never... done that... or even tried, how can you know for sure that you aren’t compatible?”
“My father, Jor-El, left instructions and knowledge for me and he told me...” he began, feeling flustered.
“So you’re just going to believe him? Without question? Without at least... trying?” she asked. She sounded disappointed, and maybe a little irritated. “What if he’s wrong? He never lived here. He may be a smart man, Clark, but that doesn’t mean he’s automatically right.”
Clark shook his head at her. “I can’t take that risk, Lois. I could really hurt... someone. Not on purpose, but... I have to keep myself under constant control, always consciously keeping my strength in check. I grew up learning how to control myself, so that when I turned a doorknob to enter a room I didn’t rip the door off the hinges. So that when emotion welled up in my heart and I decided to hug someone, that I didn’t crush their ribcage when I embraced them. I trained myself to be careful with my powers.”
“But that proves it. You can control yourself. You can... train yourself, to be careful,” she said earnestly.
“It’s not that easy, Lois. That kind of an _expression of love is about losing restraint, about relinquishing control. If I come to that point, I may not be able to control myself.” He lowered his gaze, his heart aching.
“But you won’t know for sure until you try.” She came closer to him, placing her hands on his arms and running them up to his shoulders.
He took her wrists gently in his hands and moved them away from his body.
She turned away from him in disappointment and he saw her body shudder slightly. Was she... upset? Oh, please, don’t, Lois...
“Are you okay?” he asked and then noticed the goosebumps on her exposed flesh. He suddenly realized that this wasn’t the warmest place in the world. “Are you... cold?”
She nodded her head silently at him.
“I can take you home, if you’re ready...”
“I’m not... ready. Could you just hold me for a while?”
Clark hesitated. Was she tempting him? But then he saw her shiver again and he went to her, embracing her. He pulled her body into his, wrapping his arms snuggly around her.
Her breath caught in her throat. “Oh, Clark, you’re so... warm,” she murmured. “Why hadn’t I ever noticed that before?”
Probably because he hadn’t ever held her like this before. She laid her head down against his shoulder and nestled her face up close to his neck. He could feel her soft, warm breath against his throat.
He felt the moisture and the soft plumpness of her lips as she pressed them against his throat in a feather-light kiss. A kiss that slid through him, causing his stomach to drop and hollow out. He managed a couple of deep breaths before her mouth seized hold of his.
He reacted in surprise, trying to pull away from her, but as strong as he was, her hold over him was even stronger. He felt weak in way he’d never known before.
“Please, Lois,” he moaned into her mouth. “I can’t. Please...”
Lois’ response to his plea was to deepen the kiss, her tongue pressing forcefully against his lips until she gained access to his mouth. She slid her tongue along the inside of his lips, tasting him, and then she withdrew.
“Do you want this, Clark?” she asked him pointedly.
He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Yes, but...”
“No. No buts. If you don’t want to do this, if you tell me you want me to stop, I will. I would never force this on you. But you have to tell me that you don’t *want* this. Tell me, Clark. Tell me you don’t *want* this, that you don’t *want* me.” Her voice was raw and pleading.
“I...” She ran her hands up his chest and pulled lightly at the collar of his suit. “Oh, god, Lois. You have no idea how much I *want* this.”
No. No he couldn’t. He should stop this.
“Clark?” the Clark of this world prompted him, his voice drawing Clark out of his thoughts.
His heart ached so badly that he wished he could rip it from his chest. He opened his eyes and shook his head softly. “I should have never left. After the night we shared together, I should have stayed by her whether she wanted me to or not. I know that now, but back then I was a different man. I was inexperienced, afraid.”
“Did she know at the time...? Did she know that Clark Kent was Superman?” the other Clark, the one in the suit, asked him.
“Yes, we... we made love shortly after she figured that out.”
“How did she figure it out?” the Clark in the suit asked. He seemed strangely curious.
“There was an accident. I was burned, or I should have been. I think that maybe I let it happen. I think deep down I wanted her to find out.” He shook his head, amazed, as he thought about it.
“Was she mad?” the Clark of this world asked him.
“No. Surprisingly, she wasn’t. At least not at first. I was so happy. I couldn’t believe how good, how right it felt for her to know. I took her to the fortress I had built in the Arctic. We talked and we... I was afraid at first, afraid I might hurt her, but she wouldn’t let it go. She believed we were compatible, and we were... more so than I could have ever imagined,” he said longingly.
“Jason...” the Clark of this world confirmed.
Clark nodded his head at him. “For that brief time the world stood still. It was wonderful. She made me feel so... complete. It was going to be so perfect.” His breath caught painfully in his throat. “But then the reality of it set in when we came back to our regular lives and she realized that she had to treat me as two separate people, had to treat me differently as Clark. She had to see me everyday as Clark and know who I really was, live next to me as the man I wasn’t.” He left out a sigh of grief. “In just a few short days it all fell apart. Her anger had finally found her. She was so upset - mad that I had deceived her; angry that she had to pretend.” He ran a hand through his hair in frustration as he relived those painful memories. “I tried to talk to her, tried to work through it with her, but she just kept pushing me away. She wouldn’t speak to me and when she did, the edge in her voice cut me, wounded me.”
The Clark of this world was nodding his head at him. Had this world’s Lois been angry with him when she’d found out? Had they fought? Had words? Been unkind to one another? But yet things had turned out so differently for them. Clark knew it was because this Clark would have never left his Lois. A sharp pain hit him in the stomach, threatening to overwhelm him.
“That’s when the scientists came to me,” he continued, “telling me about their discovery. I was so confused by what was happening with Lois. My heart hurt so badly at what had happened and it hurt even more to see the pain she was going through. So I decided to leave.” The words ached in his throat. “I decided that I needed time. Time to think things through, to clear my head.”
“So you left?” the Clark of this world exclaimed in shock.
“Yes, but first I went to her to tell her where I was going. Why I was leaving.” He let out a shuddery breath. “Initially she was shocked, and then she asked me not to leave. I felt indignant that she should expect me to stay when she was treating me so horribly. So I asked her to give me a reason to stay. I thought it was a reasonable request, but it seemed to set her off. She said I was running away, running away from the consequences of my actions and hiding from my responsibilities. Before I could answer her, she slapped me across the face and told me I was a liar, a coward, and a bastard; and she didn’t care if she ever saw me again. She told me if I really wanted to leave then that’s what I should do. She said the world didn’t need me and neither did she. Her words wounded me in a way that Kryptonite never had. I was devastated and yet I still loved her.” He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes and he didn’t try to stop them from coming. “So in that final moment, before I left her, I forced one last kiss upon her. One last kiss that would make her forget her pain, even if I would never stop thinking about mine.”
“Oh, Clark. I’m so sorry.” The Clark of this world said quietly, giving his shoulder a soft squeeze. The two men looked at each other, each understanding the pain that the other man was feeling. They embraced tightly for a brief moment sharing the hurt, the loss, and the grief.
Clark withdrew and realized that it had felt really good to talk with these Clarks about what had happened. “Initially I hadn’t meant to be gone so long, but there were complications and I really didn’t think I had anything to come home to anyway. But if I’d known...” he said, his voice drowning in regret. “I would have never left. I would have stayed there beside her whether she wanted me there or not. I shouldn’t have left anyway. As it is now, I don’t know...”
“What do you mean? Doesn’t she know it’s your son?” the Clark in the suit asked him.
“She knows that he’s Superman’s son, yes,” he told them, sighing softly. “But she didn’t know that at first and while I was gone she met another man and fell in love. His name is Richard. He was there when I wasn’t, and he helped her raise Jason. Richard is the only father he’s ever known.”
“But you’re right to want to be a part of his life,” the Clark of this world said quietly. “I love my father... our father? Is Jonathan Kent your father?”
The other Clark in the suit nodded, looking sad. “Yes, but he died several years ago from a heart attack.”
Clark nodded his agreement. The same thing had happened to his father. He missed him dearly.
The Clark of this world looked stricken, the sadness in his face again returning; Clark wasn’t sure it had ever actually left. “I’m sorry,” that Clark said softly. “In my world, this world, he’s still alive, and I love him and my mom dearly, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t wish that I’d been able to know Jor-El... and Lara. If I’d had a chance to grow up knowing him, being loved by him, I would have welcomed it with open arms. I’m sure your son would feel the same way about you.”
“You don’t know how much I wish for that. But *our* circumstances were a little different. Our biological parents tried to save us; they were *taken* from us. I, on the other hand, have no excuse. What will my son think of me?” Clark asked, realizing how much the thought scared him. “How will he feel when he learns, if he learns, that I’m his father? I wasn’t there to hear his first words; I wasn’t there to read to him at night or hold him in my arms as he fell asleep. I can’t even begin to tell you how wonderful and how terrible it was for me to learn that I had a son. Wonderful to know that I wasn’t alone any longer, that this amazing little life had come about as a result of the love that Lois and I had shared. Yet terrible because of everything I had missed out on. Will he be able to forgive me? Or will he shut me out, or even... reject me?” That thought scared him even more. “And after everything that’s happened, will I even get the chance to see him again? Get the chance to let him know me?”
Both of the other Clarks were solemn and silent they contemplated what those words meant for each of them. Would any of them get a second chance?
“I truly do feel for you,” the Clark of this world told him sincerely, breaking the silence. “I wish there was something I could say that would help you but I think this is something that you and your Lois are going to have to figure out together. If you manage to find your way back to her, I think you should come clean with her. Tell her everything, even what you’ve hidden from her. I’m sure that your Lois is a stronger woman than you’ve given her credit for.” His eyes looked wistful and glassy with tears.
“If she’s anything like your Lois, I believe you,” Clark told him, grasping him by the shoulder and giving it a squeeze.
“Somehow I have a feeling that she is,” he said knowingly. “Clark, thank you. Thank you for sharing this with me. You have no idea what it means to me.”
“What?” Clark felt confused. What it meant to him? “That I have a son? Why?”
“Because Lois and I weren’t sure that it would be possible for us to have a child.” Clark could hear the sadness, the pain in his other self’s voice. “We wanted one but we weren’t sure that we would be compatible. I had thought about mentioning adoption to her, but it just isn’t the same thing as creating a baby of your own, someone who is a combination of both of you, who belongs to both of you.” His shoulders slumped and a pitiful sigh escaped his lips. “I may not get that chance with her now, and it hurts so much to know that. Yet, somehow it gives me a feeling of completeness, too. To know that I could have given her a child, to know that hadn’t been denied to her when she married me.”
“I’m glad I could do that for you but I wish it could have been under different circumstances.” Clark sighed, feeling the weight of the day closing in on him, suffocating him. “I have to find a way to get back; I can’t stay here. Once again I left my world, thinking I had a good reason to leave, and now my son has lost his mother and his father. I shouldn’t have left him alone. I know that he has Richard, but he can’t grow up without his mother, hopefully not without me either. We have to find a way to fix this.”
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