Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic The Roads They Walked Alone Part 44 - Comments

Any comments, good or bad, welcome.

Thanks!

Rac

Hi,

Great part.


More ASAP, please.

MAF

Rac, Clark's meeting with Thia moved me so much:

How old is this girl? She's lost a tooth - could she be six, seven? Actually, you tell us later - she is just barely six. And she is so happy to meet Clark:

I haven't read all of this story, and I don't know if Thia is related to Clark at all. I don't really think she is. I do believe that her parents are dead, and her only living relative is Enza, who is never at home. Imagine that she is so happy to see Clark. How lonely is this little girl?

How adorable! And how typical that a small girl of Thia's age would insist that she is almost six rather than five.

But this is horrible:

Enza, Thia's only relative, is away fighting a war, or at least taking care of the aftermath of a war (and I'm not so sure that the war is really over). Clark promises Thia that Enza will come back to her, but he can't be sure that she will. I have to tell you, Rac - it was hard enough to see Ingrid die. But if Enza, too, is killed, considering this little girl is dependent on her - well, I don't know if I can bear it.

And Clark can't even stay with Thia for more than a few minutes:

This reminds me of Lois's situation with Jon. She can only spend short moments with him. And what would happen to Jon if Lois was killed, assuming there is a way to kill her - is she vulnerable to Kryptonite, for example?

I very much admired Talan when she taught the vindictive and bloodthirsty soldier this lesson:

In other words: you may want to let loose your own rage on the murderer, to torture and kill him, but you can't. Because in doing so, you become him.

I like this conversation between Lois and Dr. Friskin, about what Lois likes and dislikes about being Ultrawoman:

This is so elemental, so basic, and so harrowingly true.

Lois confesses that she has become so angry recently, and she has so wanted to punish some of the most evil people she has come across. And she never felt like that before:

Now she has been thinking about harming others. She has thought about it more than once. But she has never acted on those feelings, because she knows it would be wrong to do so:

Because this remains true: You can't turn yourself into a monster in order to punish and incapacitate the monsters.

It's so interesting, by the way, how Lois's words to Dr. Friskin echo Talan's words to the soldier.

I found this paragraph so poignant that it almost brought tears to my eyes:

The person described is Ingrid, of course, who was murdered when she tried to use her medical skills to help people. But what makes this passage even more moving is that Lois wrote it as a part of a column for the Daily Planet. It is even more heartbreaking to consider how terribly Lois is grieving over Ingrid's death, and her own inability to save her, but she can't talk to anybody about her grief and guilt. She can't talk to Jonathan and Martha, so they need to figure out what she is feeling by reading her column in the Daily Planet. I loved this scene between Jonathan and Martha:

The warmth and love between this relatively old married couple is heartwarming.

I found it very interesting to see Clark demand that Ching should fight him in a way that he, Clark, wasn't ready for. For as long as I have been reading your story - and there is a lot of it that I haven't read - Clark has seemed passive, sad and melancholy. This irritation, this impatience, is new to me. It certainly makes sense, though. It must weigh heavily on Clark's mind to be so weak, considering how strong he used to be.

Because ultimately, his impatience with his own weakness is caused by his self-disgust and shame at a more unforgivable weakness - the weakness of utter resignation, loss, helplessness and defeat. The defeat that is so total and unspeakable that living through it seems intolerable, and death seems preferable. But how do you find your way back to yourself after that kind of defeat? How can you ever be a man and a leader again? How can you ever let anyone know about your utter, total powerlessness? Your wish to let down everybody who depended on you and just die?

As usual, this is a very beautiful chapter, but also a very sad and emotionally wrenching one.

Ann

I still think Dr. Friskin needs to make a house call to New Krypton. Clark really, really needs to open up to someone. Lois is finally able to tell someone her deepest fears and most intense feelings, and the therapist is someone who can help her work through the guilt and fear she's feeling.

But somebody needs to convince Clark of two things. One, that his reaction to Nor's tortures was exactly what Nor was going for because Nor was counting on number Two. Two, every sentient being has a breaking point. One of the things that military people are told in training is that no one can hold out against torture indefinitely. No one has an inexhaustible reserve of strength. No one person can take an endless parade of deliberately inflicted pain and humiliation.

So Clark's feelings at this point are not only perfectly natural, they're perfectly normal. He's wanted to be like everone else for so long, and now he is and he can't handle it. Having been Superman for so long, he thinks he's failed by being normal, and someone needs to convince him otherwise. I'm afraid that the only person who can reach him on this level will be Talan, and that her efforts to reach him will be successful.

The reason I'm afraid of this is that Talan will form an emotional bond with Clark, one which he will not be able to reciprocate. This could very easily be the trigger event to send him back to Earth, whether or not New Krypton is ready for him to leave. Or, it could be the last straw for him to get involved with Talan. It would complete his perception of himself as a complete failure.

Like Ann, I loved Clark's interlude with Thia. Maybe he should do more of this. It would help him stay grounded.

And, as Maria already pointed out, Talan's moral code which prohibits her from killing defenseless enemies is not only in character but is excellent. A strong commander an ethical standard like this is exactly what the new, integrated armies need. On top of that, Enza's "plea bargain" with the prisoner Talan saved was so Law and Order of her. You've drawn these original supporting characters so clearly, I can see them in my mind. This is an excellent story, and you're executing it so very skillfully.

Rac, have you ever got some material to work with now! I can hardly wait to see how you resolve these conflicts, and the only certain thing is that it won't be easy.

And it won't be soon.

Hi guys,

Thanks for your comments.

Maria, you're absolutely right that Clark is not used to feeling weak or helpless. Suffice to say he doesn't like it at all. He always struck me as the kind of person who could ask for help or advice from others. But it's one thing to do that when you're strong, it's another when you feel like you're weak.

Ann, I'm so glad to hear you liked this section. Thia has been a recurring character throughout and she's had a fair number of interactions with Clark. I know what I'm doing to her and her family is horribly unfair, but then, war generally is horribly unfair.

I thought it was important to include the scene with Talan because I think she has always known that you do not save your way of life by betraying your way of life. If you become a monster to destroy a monster, do you really get to tally that as a win for the good guys? Of course, it's an easy thing to say when you're not there, when it's not your people under attack, and when you don't have the responsibility to protect others. But then, that's I figured the preternaturally calm and collected Talan was the perfect person to teach that lesson.

You're right to note that Lois is struggling with the exact same thing. Whether it's anger, despair, or fear, a lot of these characters have to overcome a darkness within them. I hope that I'm showing that that is no mean feat. As for the column, I always felt that that was the way Lois would likely deal with things she didn't want to talk about - by writing them out. Ingrid's death to her is both personal and symbolic. It's a senseless tragedy, and unfortunately, Lois also thinks of it as the result of her own failures. This is, of course, unreasonable. Lois knows intellectually that she can't save everyone, but she felt such a strong obligation to protect these doctors and she also just really liked them as people. I thought it important that Lois, as well as Ultrawoman, got to say her goodbye.

As for Clark, I completely agree. How can he reconcile the promise he made to Lois - that he would do everything in his power to come home - with the fact that there were moments when he just wanted everything to end? When he was willing to trade breaking that promise for an end to the pain? As Terry noted, everyone has a breaking point. To assume otherwise is just plain silly. Clark's breaking point is probably well beyond that of most people, and that he's regained his sense of self at all is remarkable, but he doesn't see it that way. All he sees is the failure.

Terry, thanks, as always, for your insightful comments. You're right that Clark needs to learn that his reactions and his feelings are normal and they're not a sign of weakness, just more proof that he's human. I don't know if an ordinary therapist would be able to reach Clark in these circumstances. Initially, he sought Talan out because it seemed like nothing he could tell her would be an emotional burden for her (I don't tend to agree with his assessment - being great at controlling your emotions doesn't mean you don't have any). I think he assumes that whatever he's been through, she's seen worse. But I also think it will take someone Clark views as being particularly strong to convince him that his reactions don't make him weak and they don't make him a failure. I have a lot of faith in these characters and their strength. I enjoy writing them and I enjoy writing their friendship. As you can tell, I've grown attached to my minor characters and I'm glad to hear that you find them well developed. A story like this isn't really even possible without the addition of a fair number of new characters, so I'm glad this seems to be working.