Lois & Clark Fanfic Message Boards - Fundraiser in progress
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Pulitzer
Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2003
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Previously...

"You want me to pretend I'm your girlfriend, though."

He nodded. "Yes. Please."

She looked at the box. She looked at him. "Clark, if I'm going to do this, then..."


He looked worried. Maybe she should go easy on him? "You can either tell me your secret, or wear an outfit of my choosing for one week. In public." See how *he* liked showing up to work in a chicken outfit... She reached for the box of chocolates and pulled out another one. "Plus, I want *two* of these every month." There. That was a decent low-ball offer.

The corner of his mouth twitched. "How about two boxes a month for helping me, and the outfit if we win?"

"The outfit or your secret," she reminded him.

"The outfit," he repeated.

She frowned in annoyance. "You haven't seen the outfit. But whatever. Deal." They shook on it. Lois popped the third chocolate into her mouth: a layer of sweet caramel preceded a whole, crunchy hazelnut. Clark was definitely not playing fair. "So what do we have to do?"

Clark sighed in clear relief. "She asked us to meet her and her boyfriend for a couple of double dates. They'll pick a place, and we'll pick one. The bet was about who's got the better life, partner, and relationship."

Lois raised an eyebrow. "Is there going to be an impartial judge for this?"

He shrugged. "Probably not. She's always kind of seen money as a good yardstick for people--"

Lois rolled her eyes.

"--So she'll probably look at how much we earn. For everything else, though, we're going to have to really sell it."

**********

Okay. She could do this. If she had any doubts, then all she had to do was picture Clark in that outrageous chicken outfit. Or maybe something even more scandalizing...

They pulled up at the restaurant and her face fell. Lana and her boyfriend wanted to meet at Petit Paris?! That certainly said a lot about their finances, but more importantly, Lex had taken her there on occasion. Would the staff recognize her? Worse, would Lex see her?! If Lex was here, their cover was as good as blown; there would be no way she could convince Metropolis's favorite billionaire that he'd come in second to a farm boy.

"Are you alright?" Clark was frowning at her, his forhead knitted with concern.

Before Lois could explain, though, a high-pitched squeal stabbed right through her ears. "Clark, darling!"

The blonde in the obnoxiously expensive dress had to be Lana Lang. She was waving at them, her other arm hanging on the elbow of an equally-overdressed guy with blond hair, dark roots, and a smile with too many teeth. She hustled towards them, her escort barely managing to keep up, and promptly greeted Clark with air kisses. Air kisses! Wasn't this woman from the same hick town in Kansas as her partner?!

"Hi, Lana." Clark's smile seemed just a little bit forced.

"Clark, I'd like you to meet Brad." Lana patted Brad's arm affectionately. "He's an attorney in New York, but he's thinking of moving his practice down to Metropolis. Wouldn't that be lovely? We could be neighbors again!"

Was it Lois's imagination, or did her partner's eye just twitch?

"Nice to meet you." Clark shook Brad's hand, then put an arm around Lois. "I believe you've already heard of my partner Lois Lane, of the Daily Planet?"

Lana swept a gaze over Lois that told her she had not, in fact, heard of her. Did this woman even read the paper? Scratch that, did this woman even read? Brad likewise looked Lois over. He certainly seemed impressed, but probably not by anything she would put on her resume.

The door to Petit Paris opened, but the gentleman leaving was not Lex. Lois allowed her shoulders to relax. Clark needed the girlfriend equivalent of an atomic bomb tonight, and Lois already had an idea of what to do...​

----------

What is Lois going to do? Post your ideas and suggestions below!


~•~
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Beat Reporter
Beat Reporter
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Hm, what would S1 Lois think makes a good girlfriend... Idolizing him and hanging on every word he says? Bragging about all the rich and famous people they meet while working together? Maybe she claims that Superman regularly delivers her and Clark to romantic destinations because they're such good friends?

Or she could go the other way and dive into what she thinks Clark thinks makes a good girlfriend. Apple pie and 2.5 children?

Joined: Apr 2023
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Columnist
Columnist
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Is it funny if she compares Clark to Superman a lot? 'He's as handsome as Superman,' etc.? Because that gives Clark a fun obstacle in front of Lana and Brad.

Also... is Lex actually in there? Could be a crazy plotline if she like... recruits him as her scorned lover that she left for Clark. Because... whole lotta meta- and dramatic irony fun to be had there.

But also, like... I do want Lois to cuddle up and get too used to what she's doing and fall into her own trap here, lol.


Looking forward to this summer's Location Challenge! Looks like stories are due around August 1st, and then polls open for voting!

And don't forget about the 2026 fundraiser! Head over to the Fundraising page to donate or consider adding a story to the Keepsake Collection fundraising drive!
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Hack from Nowheresville
Hack from Nowheresville
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It would be funny if she told them she had turned down both Luthor and Superman to be with Clark. But at the same time, I'm not sure if our fancy, pompous couple would believe her lol Either way, I want physical touch and Lois being affectionate - and maybe enjoying it more than she expected?


Stories are written by the victors.
(Hmm, come to think of it, that's not the exact quote...)
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This is a hoot and a half. Reminds me of that scene from the movie Deliver Us From Eva. Maybe she can channel a little Ellen Lane. it is a shame Cat Grant is not there to lend a hand. Educated power couple elite educated upper crust with the values of Martha and Jonhathan Kent. Clark can keep up with Lois but I do not think Lana can keep with up Brad. Oh I know. Lex is there because it is a working dinner and Lana doesn't know it but Brad is one of the many lawyers of Lex (he could be bad or good...although checking out another woman with one on your arm...bad)...catches him oogling Lois and makes a comment quietly to him about his job and leaving his ex alone...when Brad attempts to clarify what type of Ex with Lex, Lex goes Lex making it clear the subject is off limits as is Lois. Lois is warmly greeted by the staff leaving the impression she comes there enough...Clark is familiair enough with Lois's food and speaks enough languages to fit right in. But it is clear Lois and Clark while they can play there prefer more laidback she finds Clark's mannerisms more charming. Plus high profile while she knows the game and how to play it - I believe Ellen Lane all but sent those girls to finishing school - does not bode well for her career choice. She does low key and laid back by choice not by force.

Can't wait for the next part. Love this.

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Columnist
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Wait. Is the outfit a Superman outfit???? Because oh man would that be problematic. lol


Looking forward to this summer's Location Challenge! Looks like stories are due around August 1st, and then polls open for voting!

And don't forget about the 2026 fundraiser! Head over to the Fundraising page to donate or consider adding a story to the Keepsake Collection fundraising drive!
Joined: Apr 2007
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Boards Chief Administrator
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Boards Chief Administrator
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
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Hi Mary!
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See how *he* liked showing up to work in a chicken outfit..

Hey! He could dress up as a capon instead. peep

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“Plus, I want *two* of these every month.”

Okay, Sue once had Lois calculate how many calories she burned when… dealing with Clark. Of course, then he would have to wear the rooster suit instead of the capon one.

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”—So she’ll probably look at how much we earn. For everything else, though, we’re going to have to really sell it.”

Clark got a high maintenance alpha dog with a kidnapping fetish who lives with her baby sister in a rent controlled apartment she wouldn’t be able to afford without their father subsidizing Lucy’s share of the rent.

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Or maybe something even more scandalizing…

Leather chaps without a backside? Or a black latex suit, a cowl, and a cape?

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there would be no way she could convince Metropolis’s favorite billionaire that he’d come in second to a farm boy.

It’s because of the … shoe size Clark wears?

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Before Lois could explain, though, a high-pitched squeal stabbed right through her ears. “Clark, darling!”

laugh

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Air kisses! Wasn’t this woman from the same hick town in Kansas as her partner?!

Yes, but she had clawed and fought her way out of the smelly swamp, even if she had to climb over her hometown’s gazebo.

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Was it Lois’s imagination, or did her partner’s eye just twitch?

Oh, look, will Clark finally pack up and leave for real?

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Lana swept a gaze over Lois that told her she had not, in fact, heard of her. Did this woman even read the paper?

Cat’s Corner. The horoscope. And the Sunday Fashion Special.

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He certainly seemed impressed, but probably not by anything she would put on her resume.

Depends on the job she’s applying for. Also, isn’t it a tad uncouth to eyeball your girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend?

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Clark needed the girlfriend equivalent of an atomic bomb tonight, and Lois already had an idea of what to do…

Hot like a million suns. Stable even under extreme duress. And able To utterly obliterate her opponents?

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What is Lois going to do? Post your ideas and suggestions below!

spider probably cutting off Lana verbally without ever appearing ungracious.

wave Michael


Join us on the #loisclark Discord server! We talk about fanfic, our favorite show, life, and more! (It’s almost like the IRC days of old again!)

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