A bit late but...
Writing Challenge #6: The Birthday Present!
Either Lois or Clark gives the other person a gift for their birthday but it goes horribly (or hilariously) wrong. What was the gift and why did they react the way they did?
***
Set after ‘Metallo’“Happy Birthday, Clark!” An exuberant smile on her face, Lois thrust an envelope forward for Clark to take.
“Huh? It’s not my birthday.” Clark cautiously accepted the envelope, turning it in his hands. His name adorned the back, ‘Clark,’ with a crisp underline.
Lois took a seat on the edge of his desk, eyes shining with excitement. “Open it!”
“But it’s not my birthday.” Clark protested once again, as he wondered what exactly were the contents of the envelope.
“So? It’s a late birthday present, or a really early one.” She sounded exasperated now. “I’m trying to do something nice, Clark. Just open it, okay?” Her hands clenched together with excitement.
“Um, okay.” Clark carefully opened the envelope while Lois sighed impatiently. He pulled out the small card inside and read the contents. “A gift certificate…?”
“Yes!” Lois jumped up from her seated position and slapped him on the back. “To learn Taekwondo!"
“...what?” He stared at the gift certificate as he wondered what had possessed his partner to purchase it for him. “I don’t understand…?” He looked up at her, his eyebrows raised in question.
Lois sighed again, the excitement fading from her features and her eyes softening. “Clark, you were kidnapped by a cyborg two days ago. Right in front of me, on the street! You couldn’t even defend yourself!”
“Yeah, but that…” he trailed off. He couldn’t tell her about the kryptonite weakening him. “He was just, um, really strong.” God, he sounded pathetic.
She looked at him with pity in her eyes now, patting him gently on the shoulder. “I know, Clark. That’s where a little training could help you! A couple of moves and it won’t matter how strong your opponent is.”
“Lois, I don’t think this is a good idea…”
“Please Clark! Look…” she sat back down on his desk and leaned in close to him. So close he could smell her perfume and he had to fight to pay attention to her. “The truth is I worry about you, okay? I was talking to Superman the other night and I realised…” she paused, a faint blush colouring her cheeks.
Clark swallowed. “What?”
“Well, I realized, if something ever happened to you, I’d be…” Her voice trembled a little and she looked away from him.
“Lois…” His hand came out to brush against her knee. She looked down at his hand and he quickly removed it. “Nothing’s going to happen to me. I promise.”
She sat up straighter and her eyes narrowed. “Oh yeah? Let’s see…” Pulling a folded up piece of paper out of her pocket, she carefully unfolded it and cleared her throat. “Pushed out of a plane. Amnesia. Kidnapped and almost killed by a government agent. Had your apartment broken into. Almost run over by a car–”
“Lois–”
“Also –
you died!”“Temporarily died,” he countered.
She pushed the paper into his hand, her eyes flashing. “This isn’t a joke!”
They sat in silence for a moment, Lois breathing heavily, while he read the carefully written list. She had really put some thought into it and it warmed his heart that she cared so much about his wellbeing.
He cleared his throat and looked up at her. Her eyes were bright and she looked like she was fighting the urge to cry. Cry or throttle him.
He had to tread carefully.
“Lois, I appreciate the gift, and I’m grateful you put so much thought into it, but I really don’t think Taekwondo is my thing.” There was just no way he could risk injuring an opponent in a sparring session. What if while learning he accidentally did something ‘super’ in front of everyone? “I promise I’ll be more careful in the future, alright?”
Lois’s expression turned dark and she slid off his desk once again and snatched her note from his hands. “You want to keep being a danger magnet, that’s fine with me!” She turned on her heel and headed back to her desk, sitting down and disappearing behind her computer screen.
Clark sat in stunned silence. Danger magnet? Lois
‘danger is my middle name’ Lane was accusing him of being a danger magnet?
What?
She couldn’t be serious! As Superman he had saved her from the dangling jaws of death on almost a weekly basis. She’d been thrown off buildings. Kidnapped. Almost suffocated. Tossed in the river. Tied up. Beat up. Almost blown up. It went on and on…
He gazed toward her desk, catching her eye briefly before she ducked her head.
“Danger magnet…” Clark muttered, reaching for his notepad.
****
An hour later Clark put his pen down and flicked through his notepad. He had filled fourteen pages. Fourteen pages full of Lois Lane’s near death experiences. And that was just in the year and half he had known her. Some of the stories Jimmy and Perry had told him about her earlier career antics sent shivers up and down his spine. How she had managed to remain alive before Superman’s arrival was beyond him.
That was Lois though - she may have a knack for getting into trouble, but she could also take care of herself. Or at least she’d go down fighting.
Maybe that’s what she wanted for him.
Clark. Did she really see him as some weakling that couldn’t take care of himself? There was only so much he could do in public as himself without revealing he was also Superman.
Earlier she had started to say something, “..if anything ever happened to you…”
Clark had tried to reassure her, but that had only upset her further.
He glanced toward her desk. She was on the phone this time, deep in conversation, her eyes glassy and unfocused. He wondered who she was talking to. Whoever it was, she had that same look on her face as she had earlier when they were speaking.
Turning back to his notepad Clark flipped it closed. Not the right time to bring up her fourteen pages worth of brushes with mortality.
As Lois hung up the phone, Clark found himself on his feet, making his way over to her desk.
“Everything alright?”
Lois let out a sigh. “Just Lucy. Upset about Corben. I wish I knew what to say to her.”
Clark nodded. Lois cared deeply about those close to her. Sometimes he forgot that. He rested a comforting hand on her shoulder. “She’ll be alright. If she’s anything like you, she’ll get through it.”
Lois gave a slight nod and they remained silent for a moment before Lois cleared her throat.
“Uh, Clark, about the gift certificate-”
“Lois, I’m really sorry about that. You did something nice and thoughtful and I appreciate that you care and I want you to know that I care about you too. I think we both could stand to be a little more careful in some situations, don’t you? Maybe instead of Taekwondo… we could do something else together.”
“Well, okay, sure, but…” She seemed surprised by his words.
“What?”
She looked away from him. “I was just going to ask if I could have the gift certificate back, that’s all.”
“Oh.”
“For Lucy. God knows she needs something to focus on. And it might help her ward off the creeps in this town.”
Clark smiled. “Oh, right. Sure. Good idea.”
Another quiet moment followed. Clark cleared his throat this time eager to break the silence. “Wanna get lunch?”
Lois jumped from her seat. “Sure.” She grabbed her purse and they headed toward the elevators.
“Hey Clark, have you ever tried Krav Maga?”
“Uh, no.” Clark pushed the elevator button.
“Jui-Jjitsu?”
“No…”
“Boxing?”“Not really.” They stepped into the elevator.
“Do you even go to the gym?”
The end
FDK can go below if you wish
Thanks JadedEvie & Idontknowwhatthatmeans for beta!
I did not see that one coming 
Michael
