Author’s Notes: In rewatching the series with my daughter recently a line popped into my head spoken by Lois that I have always thought was a bit odd for her. I couldn’t even remember which episode it came from until one of the kind FoLCs pointed the way to the season three episode “I Now Pronounce You”. When they are looking at the photos from the ATM camera, Lois says you can’t see anything at that angle. Clark argues they can see it in the reflection from the plate glass window across the street and Lois says “oh yeah. And look, there’s Elvis, JFK and the plot to Showgirls.”
It stood out to me because, like Pearl Jam, I can’t imagine either Lois or Clark sitting down to watch Showgirls. It’s a VERY polarising film with an NC-17 rating that was critically panned at the time. In the thirty years since its release, however, the movie has seen something of a renaissance and become a cult favourite among the LGBT2QIA+ community.
The director Paul Verhoeven is a divisive figure in film. Most of his movies such as Robocop, Total Recall, Basic Instinct and Starship Troopers have faced immense criticism for the amount of gratuitous violence and sex. Many of these however, are satirical takes on certain elements of society.
Robocop is now seen as a satire that critiques predatory corporate capitalism, Total Recall a critique on authoritarianism, consumerism and the manipulation of reality and identity and Starship Troopers critiques modern democracy, civilian complacency and a society where rights are given without people contributing to the public good.
Similarly, Showgirls was heavily criticised for its use of nudity violence against women, weird themes, exaggerated performances and what seemed like sex for the sake of exploitation. However, since its release a lot has been written about the film and a new more nuanced understanding has been reached among some critics.
Many now understand what Verhoeven was trying to do by presenting a dehumanized world where everything and everyone is for sale. In doing so, it looks at the pursuit of the “American Dream” as a morally abhorrent act that destroys one’s soul that causes people to exploit and harm others to “get to the top”. Though women are objectified throughout the film, that objectification is an intentional attempt to expose Hollywood which uses, objectifies and often crosses that line into abuse.
It points the finger at the fact that women’s worth is often tied to their sexuality or ability to “perform” for men in power with agents, directors, and producers often holding total and complete contempt for the women whose future they control. It also points out the hypocrisy that exists in the world of sex work forcing audiences to confront uncomfortable truths about the industry – namely the fact that women are often trafficked against their will.
Verhoeven has even described the film as “anti-erotic” by challenging the ideas of what is considered sexy and filming those scenes in such an overly exaggerated way so as to mock the porn industry.
With all of that in mind, Lois’ comment stood out to me as interesting both because I can’t picture her watching the film, and I am not sure whether she or Clark would have appreciated the satire even if they did understand what Verhoeven was trying to do. It’s one of those movies that even if you understand its intent, many people still don’t like it as it’s deliberately meant to make you deeply uncomfortable.
So I thought it might be funny if I wrote a story in which Lois came home to find Clark watching the movie and seeing it in a different light. I had originally written it from Clark’s point of view coming home to find Lois watching it but something just wasn’t working about it. So I switched it and thought it might be interesting to use it as an omen for all the things to come in “I Now Pronounce You”. The movie is so absurd that I thought it might be amusing to juxtapose the absurdity of the film with the frog clone storyline.
The second chapter is taken word for word from the script but the purpose is to connect it to the first chapter and Lois’ dream and hopefully give some context to why she mentions the episode later on.
THANK YOU KSaraSara for validating the insanity that IS my brain and looking this over for me!
Summary: Newly wed Lois returns home to find Clark watching the movie Showgirls, having apparently developed a new perspective on it. Lois begins to wonder who she actually married and what is going on. Also, what’s with the ceramic frog on the coffee table. She’s never seen that before…
Chapter 1:
Lois hadn’t expected Clark to be home before her. He’d left midway through the day saying that Superman was needed overseas. Those rescues typically took a while, so she knew he wouldn’t be back anytime soon. She had assumed if he finished before the end of the day he would return to the Planet so they could go home together.
She was clearly wrong, as she could hear that the television was on the moment she stepped through the door. That was odd. It wasn’t like him to perform a rescue and then not return to work.
Then again, they had only been married a week. Maybe this was normal and she just didn’t know it. Maybe he occasionally watched a movie after a hard day as Superman to wind down. This ‘being married’ thing really would take some getting used to. They still had a lot to learn about one another.
Stepping into his apartment, she took off her coat and set her purse and briefcase down at the kitchen table. She entered the living room to find him sitting on the couch staring at the screen in rapt attention, the glow of the television the only source of light in the living room.
Even more surprising was what it was on the television screen that had him so fascinated. She watched in shock as actress Elizabeth Berkely gyrated around a stripper pole wearing almost nothing. Lois immediately recognized the movie as Showgirls – a current favourite of Jimmy's that the critics and most of society had roundly panned.
Her mouth dropped open. This was the last thing she had expected from Clark. The film was trashy, crass and vulgar. In her mind, there were no redeeming qualities to it artistically or otherwise. And yet, there he sat, munching absentmindedly on popcorn completely oblivious to her presence.
She took a deep breath trying not to jump to any conclusions. After all, it wasn’t as if she’d caught him watching hard-core porn. Although, having seen the film herself, she knew it wasn’t too far off the mark in that respect. And yes, Clark was a man. Men by and large liked raunchy movies, but Clark was different. Then again…was he?
“Clark?” He said softly. He jumped and turned, a guilty look on his face as he saw her standing there.
“Lois, you’re here!” He said, looking more than a little nervous. “I thought you wouldn’t be home for another couple of hours.”
“It’s after five,” she replied, even more confused. Had he lost track of time? Had he lied about having to do a rescue? This wasn’t like him.
He looked at the clock and gave her a sheepish smile. Moaning sounds could be heard from the TV and she glanced up in time to see Kyle McLachlan’s character flopping around like a fish in his pool in one of the most over-exaggerated sex scenes ever. Lois grabbed the remote and turned it off.
“You told me you hated this movie,” she said, trying not to sound accusatory or critical. After all, it was just a movie, wasn’t it? Did it matter if he enjoyed a film like that? Lois realised that to her it did matter, insofar as it looked as if he had lied to her. Even worse was that he had told her he hadn’t liked the film for the same reasons she’d hated it - the blatant objectification and commodification of women.
“Jimmy told me to give it another chance,” Clark admitted somewhat sheepishly. “And it turns out it’s not as bad as I thought.”
“It is that bad,” she insisted, growing even more concerned. He didn’t sound Clark at all. If she didn’t know any better, she’d swear he’d been cloned. Again. “It’s garish, grotesque and an affront to women as well as human decency.”
Clark winced slightly and she worried she’d gone too far. She looked around the room trying to find evidence that he’d been body swapped. Given their history it wasn’t entirely out of the realm of possibility. She didn’t see anything too out of the ordinary. With the exception of a ceramic frog ornament on the coffee table she didn’t recognize everything looked the same.
“I think you’re overreacting,” Clark told her. She sat down beside him, curious as to where this was going. He sounded sane enough. “If you think about it, it exposes the lie that is the American dream. It’s the antithesis to A Star Is Born.”
“You love A Star Is Born,” Lois protested.
Had he lied about that too? Had he only pretended to like it because she loved it? Was this what marriage was? Thinking you know someone and then finding out they have terrible taste in movies?
“Yeah but it’s dishonest,” Clark replied. “Especially for women like Nomi. She thinks she’s getting ahead, when in reality the real power lies with the men who are running the show. I think that’s why it got so many bad reviews. It’s honest about how the industry just chews women up and spits them out.”
Now he was a gender studies scholar and a film critic? What was going on here?
“I think you’re giving it too much credit,” Lois said, rolling her eyes.
“Think about it – Nomi’s real name is Polly Ann Costello.” Clark pointed out. “She’s meant to be the shadow self of the Marylin Monroe figure. All her relationships crumble around her because her persona is completely manufactured. And for what? To get ahead in a business that both profits off women’s bodies and shames her for being a sex worker.”
What was he talking about? Double identities? Shadow selves? A movie where Elizabeth Berkely spends half the time naked and the other half talking about eating dog food?
“Clark, we’re talking about the guy who made Robocop, Basic Instinct and Total Recall,” Lois argued, thinking of some of his other more extreme filmic endeavors along with the more over-the-top scenes in the film. “It’s exploitative and gratuitous.”
“Exactly!” He exclaimed. “It’s not erotic at all! It’s not trying to be. It’s more honest than that. Ebert was right when he said it ‘inadvertently captured something honest: the horror of performative sexuality for the male gaze’.”
He was serious, she realised, more than a little surprised at not only his about-face opinion on the film, but also his sudden deep dive into film theory. What other opinions had he been keeping from her? And where did that frog ornament come from?
“It’s almost over if you want to watch the ending.” He offered. “I think if you give it a chance you’ll see what I mean. In thirty years the world will have a very different opinion of this movie.”
“I, uh, think I might go back to the Planet,” she replied, still feeling like he’d stumbled into an episode of The Twilight Zone. She suddenly wanted to do as much research on clones, body swaps and doppelgangers as she could. “I’m not completely happy with the story I submitted to Perry. I think it could use another pass.”
“Okay,” he replied, his attention already focused on the screen once more. Shaking her head in bewilderment glancing once more at the strange ornament on the table she walked towards the door, opened it and…..
Chapter 2:
Lois woke up. She bolted upright and looked around in panic. She was lying on the couch in her apartment, not Clark’s. Reality came flooding back in waves and she realised she’d been dreaming. There were still four days until the wedding and she had obviously been so exhausted trying to make sure all the details were in place that she’d passed out on the couch for a nap.
She’d had some odd dreams in the past few nights, but nothing this completely bizarre. She had overheard Jimmy gushing about the movie earlier that day, but that didn’t explain why she’d had an entire dream about it. Then again, dreams could be awfully weird. Maybe it was just a coincidence that Clark had suddenly decided to recite a feminist film treatise on it? And what was with that ornament?
Panic suddenly overwhelmed her. What if it wasn’t a coincidence at all, but her subconscious telling her that something horrible was going to happen? The dream could have been a warning – an omen!
Yes, she was certain of it now. Somehow some kind of higher power was trying to warn her that something was going to try and sabotage their wedding.
With shaking fingers, Lois picked up the phone and dialed Clark’s number. When he answered it, she was relieved to hear sports on the TV in the background. As reassuring as that was, she couldn’t shake the sense of impending doom and seemed to flow through her.
“Hello?” Clark said on the other end of the line. Fear overwhelmed her.
“Oh Clark, you’re there!” she exclaimed, not even trying to hide how distraught she was. “It’s horrible! It’s terrible! It’s –”
“What’s the matter?” Clark’s voice scared her out of her panic. She hadn’t even heard the tell-tale whoosh sound that usually preceded his arrival.
“Ahh! You scared me!” She said, her heart pounding from the surprise.
“You said something horrible was happening,” he explained. She noticed he was in the Superman suit and realised he must have thought she needed to be rescued from some kind of immediate danger.
“Oh. No,” she said, suddenly feeling a little sheepish. “It's just that, oh... we're getting married in four days and I've never been happier in my life and I just know something bad's going to happen to mess it up. I Just know it.”
She knew how silly she sounded almost the second the words left her lips. Almost as silly as the idea of Clark watching Showgirls and trying to convince her it was art. She decided she wasn’t going to tell him about that.
“That's it?” Clark said, and she bristled a little at his tone. He wasn’t in the dream. He didn’t feel the sense of foreboding.
“Well, yeah.” She said defensively. Clark smiled and pulled her close to hug her. She allowed herself to relax into his arms for a moment.
“Nothing's going to happen, Lois.” He promised her. And when he said it she could almost believe it. “You're just nervous. So am I.”
“Really?” That was a surprise. He seemed so confident – so ready. He nodded.
“Well, maybe not as much as you, but... sure.” He looked into her eyes and she could see the love in them – steady and unwavering. She wanted to believe him when he said everything would be okay. “Look, we took the whole week off, we don’t have any stories to investigate, it’s going to be fine. The scariest thing that’s going to happen is that tomorrow night we have to pick up our parents at the airport.”
It sounded so logical. He was probably right and yet…
“But... but... I've had this weird feeling all evening,” she protested. She wanted to explain the dream and the movie and the frog ornament but worried that if she did he’d really think she’d lost the plot. She watched as he made a show of walking over to the front door, opening it, poking his head out and looking around.
“Maybe it was those three chocolate shakes you had at lunch,” he teased with gentle affection as he stepped back inside. “Nope, not a bad guy in sight.”
He was right. Of course he was right. They led dangerous lives. She was bound to have a few nerves as a result. The other stuff was just weird stuff from her psyche. Totally normal. She looked out the hallway as well just to make sure, then stepped back inside, her back turned to the open door.
“I know what you must be thinking,” she began, feeling the need to explain her apprehensions somehow. “But –”
“Lois Lane!” A loud voice boomed behind her causing her to jump once again with a cry of fear. She turned to see a delivery man standing in her doorway with Superman’s hand wrapped firmly around his throat. Clark had reacted to her scream instinctively and the poor man looked terrified. She noticed a flower box under his arms. Immediately she felt bad.
“I have a delivery for you,” the man said in a strained voice. Clark gently let the man go and stepped back.
“Sorry,” he said, sounding embarrassed.
“Nice grip.” The man croaked, thrusting a clipboard into her hands. “Sign here please.”
She signed and handed it back. The delivery driver didn’t move and she realised he was waiting for a tip. She scrambled to find something, dug into her pocket and absently handed him some change. He looked at them both with open disdain.
“Whoa. Early retirement here I come,” he said sarcastically, before leaving.
“See? Everything’s fine,” Clark said gently.
“Yeah,” Lois said with a sigh. Maybe it was all in her head. After all, weddings were stressful enough without the Superman element added to the mix. Maybe she was just overreacting.
She was just beginning to relax as she opened the box of flowers.
Her entire body went cold and that feeling of dread overwhelmed her once more. Inside the box were a dozen dead roses. She wasn’t imagining things. Something awful was definitely going to happen.
Fearfully, she looked up at Clark.
“Hey, Clark? Tell me again what you thought of that movie Showgirls?”
THE END
