Before I post this next chapter, I have a few apologies to make. First, I'll thank all my readers who are still continuing to give fdk; you are all very kind.
Second, I'm sorry I'm a little late in posting this chapter. It is a very short section and is only part A of this chapter, but I didn't want to miss a week, and I hope you all agree, this was a nice place to leave Lois, Clark and Matthew.
Next week I will be a little late again, as I'm away on my travels once more and don't return in time to post next Friday... also I haven't exactly finished part B of this chapter. Hopefully, I will find time to write a little more while I'm away and will be posting perhaps on Sunday or Monday.
I really am sorry to mess with the schedule, but I've had a very busy time catching up with my family this week, and I returned to find my TV had 'died and gone to the TV graveyard', so we had to spend time getting another, which wasn't exactly bad, but was a little extra chore we didn't expect to have to do.
And now I will stop rambling and continue with The Forgotten... which is really what you want to read about, and not a chapter about my life. <g>
Chapter Seventeen
Homeward Bound, I Wish I Was.
As Clark stepped outside, he felt the cold wind on his face. The rain had stopped a few hours ago, but clouds still hung over the mountains, dark and brooding against the blackness of the sky above, cloaking the moon and stars.
If it hadn't been for the light shining through the windows of the house, Clark would have been blind, and how was he supposed to find Lois and Matt out there in the gloom. For all he knew, they could be on their way back to Metropolis, and that realization left him feeling very depressed and abandoned.
He really did want to go home. How could he have been such a lunkhead? And an even worse thought came to mind... was it one of his less endearing character traits?
His eyes narrowed as he walked carefully down the stairs and across the yard, searching with both sight and sound. The breeze snatched at his clothes. Thank goodness Marje had left one of Mac's old robes lying across the bed for him. Wrapping the plaid wool garment closer to his body, he moved off to his left, heading for his little abode. He could start there and work his way around the perimeter. Surely they wouldn't have left without saying goodbye, and yet he could hardly blame them if they had.
The sound of dry sobs attracted his attention and he hurried towards his cottage, stumbling heavily over a broken branch that had been blown in by the wind. An arm came out of the darkness to steady him, and Clark lifted his eyes to find Matt's stern visage confronting him.
“Go back, Dad! Haven't you hurt her enough?” The young man ground out, barring the way.
Matt's feelings were in disarray. He'd had such high hopes for this reunion. There had never been any doubt in his mind that his parents should be together. So, how could they have so suddenly fallen apart? How could his father have been so callous?
“Matt, I never meant to hurt your mother. You have every reason to be angry with me, but I've come here to apologize. I need to speak to your mom... explain why I acted like a fool.” Clark held on to Matt's arm, while his eyes searched the young face for some sign of understanding. “Please, won't you give me a second chance?”
Clark watched the rigid superhero facade collapse in on itself, leaving Matt a needy teenage boy who desperately sought a happy ending.
“I promise, Matt. I'll be very careful,” Clark said trying to sound reassuring. “You can stay to listen and if at any time you feel your mother's in danger from me, then please throw me out.”
Matt's ambivalence was written clear across his face, but the situation was resolved as Lois appeared in the doorway and called out.
“It's OK, Matt, honey. I'm OK.” Lois swiped at the tear tracks on her face, while she tried to control her ragged breathing. “Let him pass.”
Still uncertain, Matt stepped aside then walked closely behind his father into the little house. Lois moved backwards, careful not to touch Clark as he entered, afraid that at the smallest contact she'd forget her pride to throw her arms around him and grovel... and groveling was not Lois's style. The moment both Clark and Matt had passed her by she closed the door, shutting out the gusting wind, muffling its noise.
“I see you've found my place,” Clark said, cautiously.
“You live here?” Lois asked, wandering around the small space, lifting up the odd ornament here and there. She nodded in approval. “Very homey.”
“That's mostly, Marje's work. I never truly felt at home here, but it was safe.”
Yet, as always, Lois had little use for smalltalk, and she delved into the main topic of contention. “Why did you come looking for me, Clark? Haven't we said all there is to be said.”
“No, Lois.” Clark shook his head determinedly. “You ran out before I could explain... not that I blame you for doing that,” he hurried to quell Lois' fiery reaction, realizing without question she was naturally feisty. “Sometimes, what I try to say comes out all wrong. I guess I'm just not good with words anymore, which probably surprises you, since I was a journalist once upon a time.”
A little grin twitched at Lois' lips. “Actually, strange though it seems, you were never great with words when it came to your personal life, though you did get better with practice.”
“Maybe I need more practice... if you would agree to coach me?” Clark decided to heed Marje's advice and be daring.
“Coaching might be difficult if we're half a world apart,” Lois said doubtfully.
Clark took a few hesitant steps towards his wife. “I think I might have been a little hasty in making that decision, Lois.” Clearly, Lois wasn't about to make his apology easy as even in the dim light, he could see her face remained impassive. “It appears Metropolis is my home... and it will probably help me remember if I'm surrounded by things... by people who are familiar.” On the word 'people' his eyes softened and his voice was reverent.
“I think that's the recognized treatment for amnesia.”
“Lois, I should never have refused your offer to take me home, but I can't deny I find the prospect scary.” Clark braved closing the gap to his wife.... His wife! That thought didn't seem so strange as he'd thought it might. “I'd like to try to explain why I baulked, if you'd be prepared to listen?”
“This is nice,” Lois said, distancing herself as she studied a small silver two handed cup.
“It's a quaich. A Scottish drinking cup. It's just ornamental really. I guess Marje wanted to make me feel at home,” Clark explained, taking the object gently from her hand and returning it to its place. “The trouble is, I never really did... feel at home, I mean.” Clark kept hold of her hand. “I think this feels very much at home though.” He lifted their clasped hands to indicate what he meant.
Lois refused to look into his face, appearing to be thoroughly engrossed in studying their interlinked hands. “Then why did you reject me?” she asked in a very small voice.
“I didn't! I know it might have sounded that way,” Clark clarified quickly as Lois' gaze rose to challenge him. “Lois, I'm not afraid of you, or Matt... or, at least, not much. But I am pretty anxious about returning to Metropolis and....”
“You're scared of what you'll have to go through to get your memory back?” Lois queried. “Well I can understand that completely. It sounds like a huge procedure, and I have to tell you it scares me too.”
“No, Lois, that's not it. After living as a non-person for so long, I think I'd go through almost anything to remember....” Clark's hands fisted automatically, trapping Lois' fingers, but she never flinched. “But what if it doesn't work, Lois, or if it does work and I'm still not... cured. What if I'm still not the whole man you married?”
Lois decided that she must be very dense this evening because she really couldn't contemplate what Clark was hinting at... unless.... “Clark, I don't care about your finger!”
“Lois, I'm not talking about my finger... or the fact that it's missing, though I suppose it does have some relevance.”
“You mean you couldn't appear as Superman with only half of one of your fingers? Not when Clark Kent has exactly the same injury.” That spark of inspiration came from Matt, who'd been watching his parents closely. “I admit it's a bit of a problem, Dad, but not something we couldn't fix. You could wear gloves or something when you were in the suit.”
A small bark of ironic laughter escaped from Clark. “Actually, Matt, I hadn't thought that far ahead, and it's not exactly what I was meaning. I'm not super anymore... and what if I never am again?” Clark turned back to Lois and his eyes glinted with the sheen of tears. “So much has happened to me, Lois. What if I never regain the powers?”
“Dad, that's crazy!” Matt crossed the floor to his parents, thinking he had the answer to allay his father's fears and his smile shown in the darkened room. “You have kryptonite chips in your brain. Once they're removed your powers will return. It might take a while, but Mom said they always have before.”
However, a light was beginning to dawn inside Lois' brain about the cause of Clark's reticence, and once again a mixture of anger and sorrow overtook her. Anger at the regime who had subjected her dear 'lunkhead' to such physical and mental torture, and sorrow that the most compassionate man in the world should have been so demoralized that he could doubt himself... and her.
“Clark, I want you to listen to me, really listen,” she said as she pulled him towards the one chair in the room and pushed him down into it. “Matt could be right, but we have really no idea. In the past, you've always recovered from kryptonite poisoning, but you've never had it embedded inside you for such a long period of time. So who knows whether you could ever be Superman again... and I know that might upset you... but I want you to know that I don't care....”
“Lois, you fell in love with a man who had superpowers....” Clark remonstrated.
“No, I'll admit that I was attracted to Superman, at first, but I truly fell in love with Clark, my partner and my best friend, and because of these superpowers I lost him. Frankly, I could do without them now.” Lois let go of his grasp and took his face between her hands, smiling tenderly down into his face. “I don't know what the future will bring, Clark, and right now, it really doesn't matter. I married Clark Kent not Superman, and more than life itself, I want my husband back.”
A glimmer of joy sparked in Clark's soul, yet he had to be certain. “Are you sure, Lois? The new me might disappoint you.”
“I've already met the new you and you certainly don't disappoint me.” Lois dared to bend down and brush her lips over Clark's. It was only a fleeting kiss, gone before it barely had a chance to be registered, yet its after-glow lingered in both their souls. “Clark, I know you're scared, and you have every right to be. I understand you have to be feeling very unsure of the future, but do you think you can place yourself in my hands for a while? I have enough strength for the both of us.”
Clark's eyes were awash with tears, but for the first time in such a long while, they were tears of relief and happiness. “Somehow I feel we've been here before, Lois. But yes, I can do that... with all my heart, Lois. With all my heart.”
In the background, Matt smiled as he slipped past the door and took to the sky in pure elation. His father was coming home!
*****
tbc
