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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 411
Beat Reporter
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OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 411 |
Wowwww. I think saying that this part was good just doesn't do it justice. I loved everything about it. It was great to see the mistery of the stalker clearing up, but the best part was, without a doubt, the conversation between Lois and Clark. Even though she still hasn't forgiven him, it's quite clear that she's trying to take in everything he explains and it's somehow wearing down her rebuilt defenses. The last part, with her begging him not to find him was powerful. Can't wait to read what's left of this amazing story 
Cris
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3 |
Yikes! Emily is Jason Trask's niece! And I'll bet you nickels to noodles that Lois has some kind of bomb with Kryptonite shrapnel strapped to her back or chest and she's tied up so she can't get to it or it's set to go off if she tries to pull it off and that's why she's telling Clark not to come any closer!
Whew! Sorry. This is really exciting. I, too, can't wait for the next part. But maybe it shouldn't come too soon, because I don't think my poor old heart can take a bigger cliffhanger than this one. I need time to get used to the resolution of the stalker and Bureau 39's involvement.
Yeah, like someone else said in an earlier feedback, it'll take some mortal danger for Lois and Clark to get past the hurt, and here it is. I agree with Tank that Clark absolutely should have told her about Superman first, if only to demonstrate his trust in her. It probably would have made her wait a long while before taking that last step of intimacy, but then he would have had a totally clear conscience. I kind of understand about his wanting Lois to love Clark over Superman, but just because he has issues doesn't mean he gets to project them onto her.
I also wonder if John and Jay (probably not their real names) also have some Kryptonite with them in case Superman goes after them first. Wow! This is good and getting better every chapter!
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great part.  That ship should be in Dr. Kline hands. "Lois? Where are you? Are you okay?"
"Clark, no," her voice is lower than a whisper and full of terror. "Please, just go away."
I stop, confused. Is she still so angry with me that she doesn't want my help? Or is it a trap that's been set for Superman?
Her breath catches in a soft sob. "I can't do this. Please, Clark. Don't find me." Again, the words are spoken so softly that no one else would hear them.
She can't do what? Why doesn't she want me to find her?  More ASAP, please. MAF
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 504
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 504 |
Aweseome part! Loved the convo between Lois and Clark about his dishonesty. While I do agree that ideally he should have told her before making love to her, I can see why in such a situation he would find it difficult to come up with the words. He is, like he said, just a red-blooded male. Yes, he made a huge mistake, but that's proof that he's human and not perfect, like Lois thought Superman was. I think it's good that she sees that.
I called the involvement of Emily and a connection to Jason Trask a few installments back when Emily mentioned her uncle in the military, but I didn't know that Jay would turn out to be her brother! Whoa!
Man, you sure are the Master of the Cliffhanger, Sue.
Keep it coming.
Fanfic | MVs Clark: "Lois? She's bossy. She's stuck up, she's rude... I can't stand her."Lana: "The best ones always start that way.""And you already know. Yeah, you already know how this will end." - DeVotchKa
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