Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Girl Next Door Part 2

Sorry I'm too tired to come up with a proper folder title, let alone good comments. But, before I forget (if I leave these things for later, they never get done...), I wanted to stop and post.

Great part. I'm really enjoying this story. It's unique and so poignantly written. I love Lois's voice. It's so touchingly vivid. Fantastic job, really!

Paul

Another excellent part.

Looking forward to more!
Jen

This premise is very intriguing.

And this Lois Lane is very dangerous.

We have a sixteen-year-old girl who has what the readers know is Superman's powers, and her only comfort is in talking to her adoptive mother's picture. Her new parents (wonderful characterizations of both Sam and Ellen, by the way) have neither the time nor the inclination to either love or even learn about this young lady in their charge. She's far too isolated to be a part of their dysfunctional family.

Yet, Lois has learned to deal with not only the often bewildering changes of puberty, but the potentially terrifying stress of being totally, completely, irretrievably different from not only every one of her classmates, but from everyone in the entire world. She has no friends, no confidants, no advisors, no one to hug her and tell her that she's loved no matter what, no one to hear her fears and help to ease them - no one. She doesn't date, she doesn't socialize with other girls, she can't talk to any of the adults in her household, and she has no outlet for the everyday stress that everyone builds up in his or her life.

No wonder she reverts to child speech with the picture of Mama.

This woman made it to the Daily Planet at the age of twenty-six apparently without anyone knowing just how special she is. Her self-esteem is almost non-existent, and what little positive self-image she has is all knotted up in her job performance. A human in that situation is a candidate for either a cardiac event or a mental breakdown of some sort, and Lois's body isn't vulnerable, so that leaves -

Clark had better get on the scene quickly. The dragons she's dedicated herself to fighting are inexhaustible, and she desperately needs someone to like her for herself, much less to love her. And, seeing that she has so little human sympathy (understandable given her upbringing), what happens to the dragons she catches? Does she bring them to justice or deal out retribution in her own inimitiable style?

I wonder if Clark will be a simple, rustic hack from Nowhereseville in this story? Or will you have two Kryptonians reporting the news and fighting crime in Metropolis? Please don't abandon this fascinating glimpse into the "what-if" of Lois Lane!

I just realized that I have neglected to point out that the writing itself in this story is first-rate. We feel the pressure Lois is under at all stages of her life. We perceive the sense of total abandonment that pervades her life, save for her relationship with her Mama. You show us how her attempts to reach out and build bridges to others have all been slapped down with refrigerated clubs, and her heart is surrounded with a steel curtain just to allow Lois to survive. Wonderful! I wish I could write like this. Please, please keep it up!

Wow! What a powerful part. I feel for this Lois. Already having lost her loving mother, being taken in by people who don't really care about her and then having these new and terrifying powers developing with no one to talk to, must be just about the hardest thing that could happen to anyone. I applaud Lois for her perserverance (is that a word??) and do hope things will work out for her inthe long run. Clark/ , where are you??

Natascha

Very sad, I can feel her pain, you make it so real.

The spin you place on a classic line, 98%, makes it new and more painfull than I'd had ever thought.

Patrick

Wonderful, Toc. I'm so glad you're back with this. It's a fantastic idea, and you are doing it every possible justice. Why is Lois such a lousy cook? Read part two of this story and find out. Why was Lois always seen as basically friendless? Read this part and find out. What? You are telling me this isn't how she got that way in the show? You must be joking. I've never come across a more perfect explanation as to how Lois became the person she is, and got the little quirks that she has!

I love how she discovers her powers and how she experiments with them and learns to control them. You made me giggle but also gasp with shock as I imagined Lois with wildly growing, invulnerable fingernails. What a nightmare!

And I'm in awe of your descriptions of Ellen and Sam. These two people are not the same as the ones as we saw in the LnC show, and Ellen, at least, is really very different, as she is this professional, cool woman. They don't have any biological children, either. And yet for all of this, Ellen and Sam are so perfectly themselves. If circumstances had been different, then this is exactly what Sam and Ellen would have been like.

Wonderful stuff. And beautifully written. Like the others said, please write more soon. And please bring on Clark soon - we have to see the meeting of these two people who are certainly destined to be soulmates even under these circumstances!

Ann

Exemplary, Toc! I am loving this story, although my RL has been chaos lately and I have had zero time on the boards or working on my story either.
I really feel for Lois...you write her so poignantly here. I can't wait to see Clark enter the picture so she won't have to fight those dragons all alone!

Great job! Post more soon!
Marcy

Janet

Another excellent part!

Tricia

Hi,

Great part.