Happy Ficlet Friday!
Hope you like this bit of silliness.
Inside An Irresponsible Mind
One of the thugs who dragged a struggling Perry toward their van pushed Lois out of his way. She stumbled back and hit the floor, grimacing at the sharp jolt of pain in her butt. Next to her, Superman didn’t even seem to notice her. She seethed with anger. What was going on with him?
Well, his mind was occupied with other things.
“Did you just see that?” Sadness bristled. “Perry was kidnapped! Are you going to just stand there?”
“Shush!” Joy threw a quick glance over his shoulder, staring Sadness down with an angry glare. “I’m busy.”
He turned his attention back on the screen, the silly grin that had been on his lips for the past few minutes firmly back in place. He pressed a button.
“So, is that Tiffany with an 'I' or a 'Y'?” Superman said.
Anger stomped up to the console. “Are you freakin’ serious?”
He reached out to pull Joy back, but as he got closer, all strength seemed to leave him. His knees buckled and he sank to the ground.
“What’s going on here?” Fear whispered. “This is the second time we can’t get to the console. The only one unaffected is Joy.”
Disgust snorted. “I wouldn’t call that unaffected.” He pointed his finger at Joy. “He might be able to work the console, but he’s behaving like a complete jerk. Did you see the grin on his face?”
“Yeah,” Anger growled. “And I want to wipe it off his face.”
He held out a hand and Disgust, Fear and Sadness helped Anger to his feet.
More furious than usual, the emotion clenched one hand into a tight fist and rolled up his sleeve, getting ready to beat Joy up. The other four held him back.
“You’re only going to end up on your knees again,” Sadness pointed out. “We have to find another way to get Joy’s attention.”
Meanwhile, Lois had also scrambled back to her feet and stared at the impassive hero next to her.
“Superman, Perry's just been kidnapped!”
Joy didn’t react. He kept Superman’s eyes firmly trained on the buxom blonde girl with her four dogs, his gaze slowly drifting toward her cleavage.
“With an 'I', I didn't want to seem cliched, you know?” The girl smiled at Superman.
“With an ‘I’,” Disgust mocked her. “As if anything could make that name any less cliché. Where did Clark even find her? All boobs and legs and no personality!”
“You sound like Lois,” Sadness remarked.
“Well, someone has to,” Disgust grumbled. “I wish she could knock some sense into Clark.”
“Go get him!” Lois once more tried to get Superman’s attention. “Go stop the truck!”
Joy didn’t even flinch.
“Joy!” Sadness shouted at the top of his voice. “Did you notice? Lois is talking to us!!!”
“I don’t believe it!” Fear squealed. “Usually, he’s so keen on talking to her. But now?”
“Joy!” Anger barked. “Would you please drag Clark’s gaze back up to the girl’s face, if you absolutely have to look at her? What the hell is wrong with you? Snap out of it and listen to Lois!!! You need to help Perry!”
Joy stared back at his fellow emotions, a deep frown creasing his brows. “I am listening to Lois. See?”
He pressed a button and Superman said, “Lois, don't have a stroke. What do you think the police are for?”
“Are you happy now?” Joy asked, his tone strangely akin to that of an annoyed teen. “Can’t you see I have more important things to do.”
“Like what?” Disgust tore his hair. “Perry’s been kidnapped and you’re standing there ruining Superman’s reputation.”
“I do no such thing,” Joy growled. “I’m just talking to Tiffani, is all.”
“Talking.” Disgust choked on the word. “On a normal day a girl like that would have you bored out of your mind.”
Joy ignored him and turned his attention back on the screen, the same empty expression on his face he’d had before. His hands flew over the controls to adjust Superman’s body language to the flirtatious tone of the conversation.
“Out of his mind, all right,” Anger grumbled. “Bored, not sure much. Just look at the fool.”
Anger crossed his arms in front of his chest, huffing in frustration. Sadness threw up his arms while Fear covered his eyes.
Tiffani was taking in the sight of Superman’s firm muscles. “So, do you like have to work out and stuff?”
“I think I’m going to be sick,” Disgust complained. “Of all the stupid things you’ve done, this really takes the cake. She’s not even our type.”
“Unfortunately, she totally is.” Sadness sighed. “On a very primal level that I'd really rather not get into. Must I remind you of Toni Taylor? Lana? Mayson?
“Okay,” Disgust relented. “But even Joy should have realized by now that the blond ones are trouble.”
“Oh, and Lois isn't?” Anger cocked a brow and raised his fist to his mouth, coughing, “Dance of the Seven Veils.”
“Diana Stride was a redhead.” Joy added cheerfully.
Disgust buried his face in his hands. “Anyway, my point is: what business do you have flirting with her like a damn Neanderthal?”
“Yeah, next thing we know you throw her over your shoulder and carry her back to your cave,” Anger fumed. “I didn’t suffer through a whole night of Lois throwing herself at Clark, so we can waste our first time on a babe like that.”
“I’m not behaving like a Neanderthal,” Joy said with as much dignity as he could muster. “Clark is Kryptonian while Neanderthal is a valley in west Germany.”
“Good grief!” Disgust rolled his eyes. “Even when he’s lost his mind, he’s never at a loss for a smartass remark.”
Joy pressed the next button, completely unfazed. “Nope. It's all natural. Wanna feel?”
He let Superman pump up his biceps. Tiffani touched the arm with a giggle.
“I can’t believe this is happening!” Disgust groaned. “We’ve got to do something before this gets any more out of hand than it already did.”
“Lois is never going to forgive Clark,” Fear muttered.
Sadness sighed. “At least it’s Superman behaving like a moron.”
“If any of this results in a core memory, I’ll personally dispose of it in the memory dump.” Anger paced back and forth next to the console, far enough away from Joy that he wouldn’t be affected by whatever was keeping the four emotions from accessing the console.
“I'm going to call the cops!” Lois announced.
“And while you're at it, also get the guys with the straightjackets,” Anger added.
Joy pressed a button. “Cool.”
With a glare at Superman, Lois darted toward the elevators.
“No, definitely not cool,” Fear squealed. “Have you seen the look in her eyes. She's never going to let us live that down.
We’ve got to do something, before Joy ruins everything.” He looked at the others. “What if we tried to get to him together?”
“I’m afraid we’ll only end up unconscious,” Sadness replied.
“I can hear you, guys,” Joy said. “And stop being such sissies. I have everything under control.” He stretched his fingers and, with a grin, let Superman speak again.
“So, how long have you been in the canine personal care industry?”
Disgust groaned. “I’d rather be unconscious than having to listen to this for another minute.” He turned to the others. “What do you say? On the count of three.”
Anger, Sadness and Fear nodded in grim determination.
Disgust set his jaw. “Well then, when this is over, remind me to write a security program that will keep Clark from flirting with blondes. I swear, one day they're going to be the death of him.”
“You could have him tell Lois his secret as soon as he snaps out of it.” Anger suggested. “She’s going to emasculate him. Problem solved.”
“Oh, this isn't my normal job.” Tiffani purred. “I'm really an actress.”
“Yuck,” Disgust groaned. “Anyone know of a superpower that would rid us of this memory?”
Joy stuck out his tongue at them, before he let Superman speak. “Oh, really?”
Sadness shook his head. “Okay guys, either we put a stop to this or we knock ourselves out.”
Disgust laughed. “Let's hope both. You know what really sucks about being Clark's emotions? No drunken stupor mode.”
“You bet.” Anger growled. “I really wish I could forget how Mom picked Clark up from that bar when he'd been moping about his break up with Lana. Considering the humiliation, I’d really have preferred a hangover.”
“What do you think? Did they have ale on Krypton?” Sadness asked.
Fear shrugged. “Sure. I'll bet Kryptonian girls were trouble, too.”
Last edited by bakasi; 01/27/24 04:05 PM.
