Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic Federal Disaster (37-Epilogue)

Author's Note: I wrote an epilogue rather last minute for this, so I am including it in this post. This is the end of the story! There is an extra chapter in the Nfic version simply because so much had to be cut that I collapsed two chapters into one. Thank you SO much for coming with me on this ride!


banner by CarrieRene

Chapter 37

They’d barely made it through the door of Clark’s apartment before his lips and hands were on her. She responded with equal fervour, grabbing him by the tie and pulling him towards his living room.

In the haze of passion, she forgot about the steps in his apartment and found herself falling backwards only to be caught by him as he floated the two of them down the stairs and pulled her flush against his body once more.

His tongue swept her mouth, teasing hers in a way that drove her crazy.

“I…think…I’m…addicted…to…kissing…you.” He spoke breathlessly in between, as his hands cupped her face and hers busied themselves with undoing the buttons of his shirt.

He felt so good. Everything about this felt so good. It was the strangest feeling — a feeling of intensity mixed with safety. She trusted him with every cell in her body and yet she’d never felt so alive — so frantic for his touch.

They clumsily started to make their way back towards his bedroom, while Lois’ fingers still struggled with his shirt buttons.

“Just rip it,” he growled as he began kissing his way down her neck.

She hesitated and then did as he suggested, ripping the shirt open to reveal the familiar blue suit underneath. They’d flown high above the clouds on the way back to the apartment for a number of reasons — some to do with his present state of arousal — but in doing so, it meant he hadn’t had to change into the suit. Lois made a frustrated noise low in her throat.

“This damn suit,” she muttered. He stepped back and grinned at her, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he shrugged the ripped shirt off, revealing the S underneath.

“I thought you liked the suit,” he said, his voice almost a purr that sent jolts of heat to all the right places.

“I do,” Lois replied, reaching out and grabbing his belt buckle to pull him close once more. She stood on her tiptoes and whispered into the hollow of his ear, “But right now it’s in between me and what I want.”

“And what exactly do you want?” Clark asked, his voice deepening in a way that told her his control was slipping. She met his eyes and almost gasped at the raw need in them. She could see every kiss, every movement, every touch and every gasp of pleasure in those eyes.

“You,” she breathed, “I need you.”

Lois reached up and wrapped her arms around Clark’s neck, bringing his lips to hers in a tender kiss.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity squeezed into a heartbeat, Clark kissed her gently once more and whispered, “I love you”.

Then, he gathered her into his arms and carried her into the bedroom.

*****

There was still so much left to do. Lois couldn’t help but think of the monumental tasks that lay before both of them as her cheek lay pressed against the warm expanse of his chest.

She knew she shouldn’t be thinking of her to-do list right now. They had just made love. They had four days off work and beyond that, a lifetime ahead of them. Lex Luthor was gone and they were finally free. She was finally free. And yet that freedom had come at a cost. And behind every beautiful and pure moment she had with Clark lurked the darkness that sometimes threatened to overwhelm her. She had to hope that it wouldn’t always be like this. It hadn’t even been a full twenty-four hours since the attack. She had to believe that things would get better in time, but for now…

A to-do list was easy. It was safe.

Call Steven to initiate the process of buying back all of the companies Lex bought out. Make an appointment with Dr. Frisken. Look for houses with Clark. Make love to Clark. Make love to Clark again. And again. And again…

Lois allowed her mind to veer off into fantasy and felt her eyelids grow heavier as she did so. Clark’s heartbeat was warm, steady and reassuring. She wanted nothing more than to think of their wedding and future together. But she knew it wasn’t that easy.

“Penny for your thoughts?” He sounded sleepy as well and she couldn’t help but smile. She loved his voice. She loved the way he said her name in their more intimate moments, the way it deepend when he was aroused or sounded almost childlike when he was happy. And sleepy Clark? Definitely an adorable one to add to the list of ‘Clarks’ she loved.

“I’m just…thinking,” she hedged. She wasn’t sure how much she wanted to tell him. After all, they had just made love. She didn’t want to bring things down with thoughts of Lex’s finances, or her own personal trauma. She wanted to be safe in this space with him.

“You’re making a to-do list in your head aren’t you?” he asked, his voice heavy with warmth and amusement. She sat up and gave him a mock glare. He gave her a mischievous grin and she felt a smile creep across her face despite herself.

“I’ll have you know I was not…oh, who am I kidding?” She flopped back down and snuggled back into his arms.

“I know you better than you think,” he said, kissing the top of her head.

“You know me better than anyone,” Lois replied. It never ceased to amaze her how well he knew her. She should have known it was useless trying to hide her fears from him. Somehow he just knew. He always knew.

“I could say the same for you,” he murmured. His soothing voice was a balm to the wounds she was still nursing. “All my life, I’ve been searching for you. I didn’t know what you looked like or who you were, but I knew you were out there. And the moment I saw you, I knew I’d found you.”

“I wish I had known,” she said, swallowing tightly at the emotion that threatened to overwhelm her. She tried to distract herself by trailing her finger up and down his chest and marvelling at the way he seemed to feel both soft and solid at the same time. “I wish I could have looked at you and seen you the way you saw me. We wasted so much time…”

“You had your own searching to do,” Clark told her gently. He sat up and she did as well, snuggling into the crook of his shoulder. “I’m just so glad you found me at the end of it. Because, the truth is, without you, there would be no Superman. Everything I’ve done, everyone I’ve saved, I owe to you. You gave me a reason to keep going. To keep fighting.”

“I just gave Superman the name,” she protested, overwhelmed by the faith he seemed to have in her. It was difficult to wrap her head around the idea that the strongest man on the planet needed her.

“You gave me more than that,” he said, reaching down and tipping her chin up to look at him. The love she saw reflected back at her from the depths of those warm brown eyes was both intense and peaceful. “Without you, I would probably still be wandering, trying to find my place. You gave me a home and a purpose. You saved me, in every way a man could be saved.”

“Clark,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. She had no other words for him — no grand speeches or declarations. Just his name on her lips. She fought to keep her emotions at bay as he leaned down to kiss her — a tender, yet breathtaking kiss.

“We will get through this,” he vowed softly. “I know that we never imagined starting our lives together under these circumstances, but I don’t think for a minute that this will break us.”

“How can you have so much faith?” she marvelled. “Where does it come from?”

“You,” he replied with a heartbreaking smile. “It’s always been you. I can’t help but be in awe of you. But you don’t have to carry the weight of this alone. Let me help.”

“My Superman,” she breathed, kissing his lips, his cheeks, his neck and down to his shoulders. “My Clark. If I taught you how to be strong, then you taught me how to be vulnerable.”

“See?” he said, smiling at her. “Hottest team in town.”

She kissed her way further down his chest, running her hands over his abdomen and down towards his torso. She knew there were still a million things left to do, but right now all she wanted was to get lost in him. They didn’t have to figure everything out today, or even tomorrow.

“Hottest team indeed,” she said as she kissed his belly button and a soft moan escaped him.

She understood now. She was finally home.

And she never wanted to leave.


[b]Epilogue/b]

The hotel room was dark. A small light on the table beside the bed provided the only source of light. Lois lay in Clark’s arms, in the aftermath of their lovemaking. The wedding ceremony had been incredible, their vows deeply personal and the reception so full of joy and laughter that she might have thought it all a dream were it not for her wedding dress and his tux lying unceremoniously on the floor, dumped carelessly in the midst of their passion.

She lay on his chest, with every reason in the world to feel as if everything was perfect. The nightmares, while still there, were less frequent and Clark would banish them with his body and his words the moment she woke up. They were scheduled to leave for Hawaii the following morning. They could have left immediately after the reception, but even with the convenience of a husband who could fly, Lois had wanted to spend their first night as husband and wife in their own bed. In their new home.

In the two months between the attack and the wedding, Lois and Clark had found and moved into a beautiful brownstone building. She wasn’t sure how she’d known it, but something inside her had told her that this was where they would spend the rest of their lives as a married couple. It was a lot to plan a wedding and a move at the same time, but Lois found herself very motivated once the decision was made to find their forever home. Her own place was too full of memories and staying at his place made it feel as if they were still playing house.

And now, they were married in a new home, about to embark on that happily ever after. And yet, Lois’ anxieties were still there. Despite her bi-weekly meetings with Dr. Frisken, and despite that her wedding to Clark had gone off without a hitch, and despite the fact that their new house was beyond perfect, she couldn’t help but worry.

Clark shifted slightly and Lois gave a soft sigh, her cheek warm against his chest. She wondered if the wedding was everything he had hoped it would be. Their lovemaking had been perfect — beyond perfect. They had spent the last two months exploring their bodies, talking about what pleased them and getting used to the change in their relationship in the wake of a great deal of trauma.

But deep down, Lois couldn’t help but wonder if it would have been better to wait. He’d been a virgin and she hadn’t. He’d told her that he had wanted their wedding night to be special and Lois worried that she might have robbed him of that experience. Doctor Frisken had assured her at their last session before the wedding that Clark wouldn’t see it that way, and Lois knew she was right.

But regardless, Lois knew that their first time had happened the night after she’d nearly been killed and something inside her told her that it shouldn’t have happened that way — that Clark deserved a first time free of trauma and pain. She knew that was her own guilt talking, but it was a feeling she couldn’t seem to shake, and it seemed to resurface in these moments of quiet.

“Are you okay?” Clark whispered, as if reading her thoughts.

“Of course, I’m —” Lois paused, hearing Doctor Frisken’s voice in her head, urging her to communicate. “I’m…not sure.”

“You want to tell me about it?”

“I…” she hesitated. She didn’t want to bring down their wedding night with heavy thoughts and yet, she knew that Doctor Frisken would encourage her to share them. “I guess I’m just thinking that maybe we should have waited…for our wedding night, I mean.”

“Why do you think that?” he asked, and she was grateful to hear only concern in his tone.

“I just…it was supposed to be special. Your first time, I mean. And waiting until the wedding…well, I just think maybe it would have been even more special to have your first time as husband and wife.”

She left out the rest. She left out the part where his first time shouldn’t have been the same night that her ex-fiance took a nosedive out of her third-story window and bled out on the sidewalk in front of her apartment.

“Honey, where is this coming from?” He sat up, and she did as well. He reached out and brushed a stray bit of hair out of her face, studying her expression intently as he did so. “You know that it doesn’t matter to me if our first time was on our wedding night or not. All that matters is that it was with you. What’s really on your mind?”

“It shouldn’t have had to happen that way.” She looked down, trying to keep the tightness out of her throat. She didn’t want to cry. Not on her wedding night. “Your first time shouldn’t have been the same night that —”

“Lois, look at me,” he said, his voice soft but fervent. She did and he leaned over and kissed her with aching tenderness.

“If I could go back, the only thing I would do differently would be to stop Luthor before he ever got to you. I hate that he caused you pain. But I would not change a thing about the way we first made love.”

“How can you mean that?” she asked, her voice a hoarse whisper. “You said you wanted our first time to be special and —”

“Our first time happened at one of the darkest moments we’ve ever faced,” he replied quietly. “We have both been through so much. And that night was so hard and you were so brave and we needed that, Lois, both of us. We needed it to heal, to become stronger. We needed to make love to chase away the dark. And I don’t regret a single second of it. I never have and I never will.”

“I love you,” she told him. “I love you so much and it feels like those words are totally inadequate to describe how I’m feeling but…I love you.”

“I love you too,” he replied. He kissed her again and when he pulled back she could see an impish grin playing across his features. “Besides that may have been our first time making love, but there are lots of other firsts.”

“Oh?” she teased, feeling her heart lighten the way it always did after a serious conversation with him. “You have any other firsts in mind?”

“Mmmm, lots,” he said, his eyes darkening ever so slightly. He reached out and ran a hand down her face, her neck and over her shoulder. She shivered and despite their recent love making, she felt her body awaken at his touch. She could tell he was similarly affected by the look in his eyes. She loved that look.

“What kind of firsts?” she asked, biting her lip in anticipation.

“Fantasies,” he replied, his voice gruff. “Things I…want to try now that we know each other better. Trust each other. Things I’ve never done before, so they would still be first times.” He was softly running his fingers up and down her arms, and she sucked in a sharp breath. He’d had fantasies. Suddenly she wanted to hear them more than anything.

“Tell me,” she implored. “Tell me one of your fantasies.”

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” he shot back with a sexy grin. Lois felt herself smile too. “I bet you’ve got some, right?”

Oh she had some alright.

“You go first,” she said, feeling both turned on and shy all of a sudden.

Her desire only grew as he described his fantasies, shyly at first, but with more sureness as they both went on to describe several fantasies...making love outdoors, outdoors, in the conference room...a replay of the dance of the seven veils...

She even worked up the courage to share a more risque fantasy or two, feeling for the first time that she could really talk to someone about what she wanted and know that not only would he listen, but that he would move heaven and earth to make it happen. She’d never felt so safe in her life and after everything that had happened she needed that. She needed to feel that she could be so vulnerable with him.

And soon, the descriptions of the fantasies were too much for both of them, and they made love again — intensely, passionately. It felt like it’s own first time and Lois knew somehow that it would always feel this way as long as they continued to communicate.

As they laid there in the aftermath of their lovemaking, neither one of them felt particularly inclined to move.

“That was incredible,” she told him softly. “I didn’t realise you wanted…that you had thought of all of those fantasies.”

“You see? I told you we have a lifetime of firsts ahead of us,” he said, sounding both drowsy and satisfied. “We have so much time for firsts. I haven’t missed out on anything. We’re only just beginning, Lois. You and me.”

“I know,” she replied feeling full and warm and as far away from grief and pain as you could get. She was here in his arms.

“Welcome home,” he said, before they both drifted off to sleep.