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Marcy

***********

Louis “Slot Machine King” Venelli watched and listened quietly from the nearest booth in Luigi's. Facing away from Lois and Clark with a fedora pulled down low on his head, he remained conveniently out of view.

He had always been one of Lois' most trusted sources. As he liked to put it, he “knew guys who knew guys.” He and Lois went way back. Why, he could still remember her from her elementary school days when she hung out with the boxers over on Alpine Street. Her dad had worked there in the sports rehab center briefly.

Lois was a sharp tack, anyone could see that.

Except when it came to men.

Naturally, when Perry White had called and briefed Louis on the situation, he was happy to help out.

After all, Lois was a great dame. Besides, he had snooped enough about Clark Kent to know he was a morally straight-shooting kind of guy, if maybe a little kooky. Clark had loved Lois and treated her well, and that was enough information for Louis. He knew Lois pretty well, and he could tell Lois loved Clark too, even if she was a little headstrong. Lois reminded him a little of his sweet Sicillian mother, may she rest in peace. Louis crossed his hand in traditional Catholic style at the thought of her.

Anyways, Louis trusted Perry White too. And while Louis had mostly been running on the up and up, he figured a harmless prank on this Scardino guy –just something to get him out of they way of Lois and Clark's beautimous reunion-- wouldn't set him back too much with the Big Cheese upstairs.

So after a quick call or two of his own to find out who Scardino was exactly, he knew enough to call Perry back and let him know he could count Louis in.

As Lois, Clark, and Dan rose from the table, Louis waited undetected. Then, as Dan exited the restaurant, he never noticed the guy tailing him in the gray zoot suit.

****************

As they exited Luigi's and he opened the cab door for Lois to escort her inside, Clark's hand made just a hint of contact with her suitcoat. Instantly, he felt that familiar jolt of electricity shimmy up his arm.

He felt a pang of guilt at the sensation, knowing it was probably wrong to allow himself the pleasure of touching her when she was such an unwilling accomplice. However, the knot of fear within his gut seemed to be driving him to take risks today. He knew he was a hair's breadth from losing Lois forever, and he had until four o'clock to do something about it.

In the meantime, he was cherishing every moment, every chance just to smell her fruity shampoo, to hear her heartbeat one more time, just to bask in her presence. He treasured all these things in his heart like a man on death row might savor a last meal.

Crammed in the small cab beside her with their legs almost touching, he turned toward the window and closed his eyes, trying to memorize all the sensory information coming from her.

“Penny for your thoughts.”

Clark turned back toward her soft voice as she gazed earnestly at him. Really, if there was a sound that made him think of his mom's homemade hot chocolate, Lois' voice was it. For her voice was the sound of home to him.

For so much of their marriage, when she asked those hard questions, he had evaded her. Right then, he decided, today would be different. At least as much as his courage would allow.

Swallowing a lump in his throat, he smiled back at her. “Do you really want to know?”

“Of course, Clark. All I ever wanted from you was the truth. You know that.”

“Touche. I was just thinking about how beautiful you are, and how the only time I really feel at peace with anyone or anything is when I am near you. Just hearing you breathe is calming to me.”

Lois drew in a sharp breath. Presently, he could see her fortifying the wall she put up in his presence.

“Oh, Clark, you really know how to turn on the charm, don't you?”

Clark's temper flared. “Lois, when have you ever heard me say that to anyone but you? I know there were rumors about me and Mayson Drake before you and I ever dated, but I told you a hundred times nothing happened! When are you ever going to believe me?”

Cognizant of the taxi driver's glances in the rearview mirror, Lois hastened to keep her voice from rising. “Well, that's not how Mayson spread it around. And why should I believe you? You lied to me our entire marriage! If I know you've lied to me before, what would stop you from lying about that?”

Furious, she turned back to the other window.

Clark paused. She was right, of course. He had lied to her. Over and over and over. And he was sick of the lies. At first, it had been for her protection. At least, that was what he told himself.

Later, he had been honest enough to admit to himself it had a lot more to do with his ridiculous jealousy of her crush on his alter ego. But as time passed and their relationship had grown, fear was ultimately what had held him back. Because the longer he waited for that perfect moment to tell her everything, the worse he dreaded the telling. He loved her and depended on her so much that finally he had resigned himself to never telling. He figured having her ignorant of the real situation was better than not having her at all.

He had never considered that the secret he kept-- for the purpose of keeping her-- would be what drove her away. Even now, hours from losing her forever, fear was gripping his insides so strongly that he wanted to waver again, and bolt.

<Some superman I turn out to be. Lois, did you ever know that you could be a more destructive force to Superman than Kryptonite? Just two little words – 'It's over'- caused my world to collapse.>

Another voice in his head chimed in dryly. <She wouldn't know, because you never told her.>

Right. Honesty. Stepping out in front of Lois, naked and vulnerable and waiting for her to tear him limb from limb as only she could. Confronted with the choice of mortal destruction vs. eternal separation, there never really was a choice for Clark Kent.

Taking a deep breath once more, he spoke. “You're right, Lois. I blew it. You offered me your love on a silver platter, and I offered you back lies and false pretenses. And not a day goes by since you walked out that I don't wish to God I could take it all back and do things differently. And now it may be too late. I was just so afraid of driving you away with the truth, I let the lies drive you away instead. I would lay it all out for you here this instant, honey, if I thought it would do a bit of good. But I don't know that it will. I do love you, Lois. I think I always will. Besides," he added, "I can't help it if I'm more or less particular about who my wife marries.”

He studied her as she seemed to shift uncomfortably in the seat. Sensing her unease, he added teasingly, though honestly, “You can't really blame me for loving you, Lois. You're just that kind of woman.” At that comment, Lois visibly relaxed and smiled.

“Oh, Clark.” She was at a loss for words, it seemed.

A comfortable silence engulfed the small space all the rest of the way to the criminal court building.

************


(Elrond's blessing at the departure of the company from Rivendell)

"Farewell, and may the blessing of Elves and Men and all Free Folk go with you.
May the stars shine upon your faces!"
-Lord of the Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien