Part 8: ResolutionLois smiled softly as she recalled Superman leaving the hospital. That had been a few days ago and no substantial reports had been given since other than that he was continuing to take it easy.
She was beyond relieved, but lately her concern had shifted to Clark.
He had just returned from Smallville according to Perry, and while she supposed she could call him, she was afraid. And the fact he hadn't called her made her even more afraid.
She didn't know what to do. She had just returned to her apartment after staying with Perry and Alice - she would NEVER forget their generosity - and the Planet would reopen by the end of the month.
Things were moving forward whether she was ready or not.
Fortunately, the worry of reporters hounding her had faded. She wasn’t sure how, but a rumor about her had surfaced stating that she had actually been involved in the investigation of Luthor and had played the part of fiancé to get close to him. She wasn’t complaining but she wished it had actually been true.
True or not, Henderson, Perry, and those in the know were not refuting it.
She wasn’t quite sure how to feel about that, she only hoped Clark would be alright with that accepted deception.
Clark.
What should she do?
Should she give him more space? Wait for him to reach out? Was that right? They would be working at the Planet again, but would they return to being partners?
Superman had been confident that Clark had forgiven her, but how was that possible when she was certain she would never be able to forgive herself?
Maybe she wasn't calling him to torture herself. The fear of not knowing and imagining the fallout was likely worse than what the reality would be. But then, perhaps reality would be unimaginably worse.
But it would be nothing more than she deserved.
'You’re an investigative reporter, Lois. Investigate,' he had said. And she had, but not deeply enough, or really much at all.
Her instincts had failed her.
No.
That wasn’t right.
She had failed her instincts.
What were they saying to do now?
She picked up the phone and hung up half way through dialing.
This had to be face-to-face. Maybe she could call Perry and ask him to arrange someth---no that felt wrong.
She couldn't rely on anyone with this. She had made this mess; she had to fix it.
She grabbed her purse.
O o O o O
Clark sighed as he flipped to another channel, trying not to feel too exasperated as he reclined back on his couch.
He knew it would take a while for the people of the world to shift their attention away from what had happened to him, but he wished their obsession with it all was over already.
Though, he supposed it could be worse. The video of that whole nightmare could be public knowledge. Thankfully it wasn't. The government had put a tight seal on it and he had it on good authority that that tape would never see the light of day. And the people who had already viewed it happily swore (and were ordered) to never reveal what they had seen.
He would take what he could get.
As it was, theories surrounding his healing capabilities and how exactly he had been lured into Luthor's trap remained.
He was sorely tempted to tell Henderson to just let that information become public knowledge, but he couldn't do that to Lois.
He wondered if he should call her. Part of him desperately wanted to check to see how she was for himself, but another part of him wasn't sure if either of them were ready to have a conversation that would likely turn emotional. After she had visited him in the hospital, he knew she blamed herself, and although she had no doubt made some serious mistakes, she wasn't the only one.
But most importantly, in the end, Clark wasn't foolish enough to believe Luthor wouldn't have attempted something else to get to him. And unfortunately it was very likely he would have at least tried to use Lois.
He moved to sit down while stirring his Oolong tea when someone suddenly knocked on his door.
O o O o O
Lois couldn't keep her hands still as she waited at the door, praying he was home and would answer the door as much as she desperately hoped he was out.
But then the door opened, and there he was.
His expression was a stunned surprise, and that terrified her.
"I'll leave if you want me to," she said immediately.
"No. No, come in," Clark said, stepping aside.
"Thanks," she said, nervously shuffling forward.
She never thought she would feel so awkward around Clark, but she knew she had no one to blame but herself.
She went in and waited for him at the bottom of the stairs anxiously.
“I-uh, I’m so sorry, Clark. I was so wrong,” she said as he led her to the couch and motioned her to sit as he sat at the other end. “I was so horrible to you, I--” She covered her face, choking back tears. “I have no excuse. I was so blind. I wish I could do that day over again. I’m
so sorry! If I could take back what I did, I would.”
“I know you would,” Clark said before clasping his hands together, clearly as nervous as she was. “I’m glad you’re here though. And you can stop apologizing. You’ve realized what you did and are clearly sorry for it. I’ve forgiven you.”
“I don’t know how. Superman almost died because of me,” she said with a loud sniffle. “And I hurt you. And yet you still kept trying to warn me about Luthor.”
“I couldn’t give up on you,” he said to her, before looking down.
Lois swallowed. “You’re why I stopped the wedding. Why I couldn’t say ‘yes’ and said ‘no’ instead.” She exhaled shakily. “I realized . . . I realized I was making a mistake. I realized if I didn’t stop it I would regret it for the rest of my life. And I realized. . . .”
She was afraid to continue. What if he no longer felt the same way? What if what she had done had turned his feelings toward her sour? What if he no longer loved her?
“You realized what?” Clark asked softly, shifting toward her ever so slightly.
“I need you, Clark. I don’t know why it took me so long to see it, but I can’t imagine a life without you. I love you. And not like the way I had said before.”
She couldn’t stomach even repeating what she had said at the park.
“If you still love me the same way as before, I want to love you that way back,” she whispered softly.
He took her hand and was suddenly close to her, pulling her against his chest and she eagerly went, allowing his arms to encircle her as she pressed her face against his neck and shoulder.
"I still love you," he said. "I never stopped."
She clung to him, and neither knew how long it was before they eased back. When they finally did, she wiped her eyes and gave him a shy smile.
"So, what now?" she asked.
He smiled softly but his posture became hesitant.
"What is it?" she asked.
"I want to tell you something, but I don't know if now would be a good idea," he said.
She frowned, and then the words Superman had spoken in the hospital came back to her.
'Lois, he has something he wanted to tell you for a long time, but he was . . . afraid. It's what has no doubt made everything so complicated between you and . . . us, I suppose.'What on earth did he want to tell her, and why was he so afraid? And how did it involve Superman?
"I've wanted to tell you for a long time now, but I've been afraid of how you would react, and now I'm even more so. I don't want you to think I didn't tell you because I didn't trust you or that I enjoyed keeping it from you. I hated keeping it from you and had planned on telling you immediately if. . . . Well, no point discussing that. We're here now, and I don't want to mess this up." He sighed and combed his hand through his hair fretfully.
Ah, so he was afraid of her Mad-Dog Lane reaction. She sighed.
"Am I really that scary?" she asked, wishing she found it funny, but instead she just found it sad.
"No! . . . Yes. Sometimes," he amended. "But it's not about that, especially now. I'm afraid of what knowing this could do to you. Before, I knew telling this secret would make you feel tricked because I had hidden it for so long, and so you'd be angry with me, but now . . . while you may still feel tricked, there's more to it now."
"Is the secret that bad?" she asked, confused and worried. "Does your secret involve something illegal?"
Superman obviously knew this secret, but he clearly still held Clark in high regard, so what could it be?
"I . . . I haven't really thought about the legality of it before to be honest, but no. It's not . . . bad."
"Then what do you mean that it's not just about me feeling tricked anymore?"
"It's about what it would mean," he said, looking suddenly pained. "Especially concerning what has recently happened."
"Just tell me. If you don't, what I imagine will no doubt be worse than the truth," she urged.
He looked at her doubtfully but nodded, resigned.
"Okay, but just remember that everything is okay now. The past can't be changed but we can move forward, and I want us to move forward together. And I'm sorry you're learning my secret this way. I had hoped to break it to you at a perfect moment, but I realize now that a perfect moment would never have come."
"
Clark," she said, exasperated. "Just tell me."
Clark heaved in a deep breath, apology and thick worry clear on his face.
"Lois, when I disappear or run off, it's not because of any of the excuses I spout off," he began. "And it's not because I am not interested in what you're saying or in whatever is going on. I'm going because. . . ."
He slowly took off his glasses and she blinked in confusion at the action, but her mind was more focused on hearing what he would say next than on figuring out why he had taken his glasses off.
"I'm Superman."
Her brain seized before all the gears in her mind suddenly began rotating at near breaking speeds.
Superman?
He was Superman?
But. . . .
And then she understood what he had meant when he said that it wasn't about feeling tricked anymore but about what the secret would mean.
It meant that it wasn't only Superman who had almost died, but Clark.
It was Clark Luthor had almost killed. Clark who had been rushed to the hospital with dozens of wounds and radiation poisoning. It was Clark who she had seen covered in bruises and scars. Clark who had screamed out in pain and flashed back to being beaten by Luthor while surrounded by nurses and doctors.
It wasn't just Superman, but Clark, her best friend. Her partner.
Her decisions had almost cost her Clark.
"I think I'm going to throw up," she gasped, before bolting to his hall bathroom.
He hurried after her, concerned, before kneeling behind her and holding back her hair.
After a few minutes, she wasn't sure if she should be relieved that she had only dry heaved or mortified that she had dry heaved.
"Are you okay?" Clark asked tentatively.
She nodded as she pulled back before shaking her head 'no'. She slumped down on the bathroom floor, resting her back against the side wall while looking down at her hands.
"I don't know what to say," she whispered, tears silently rolling down her cheeks.
“You don’t need to say anything. The important thing is is that we’re both here together,” he said, shifting over to sit beside her.
She took his hand with both of hers, but was too shocked to do anything else.
“Are you okay now?” she asked. “I mean, fully recovered?”
“Yes. Dr. Carson has asked me to give myself another day before I return though,” he said before helping her to her feet.
She didn’t resist and hugged him.
Soon after, they returned to his couch and just snuggled. They could talk about their future the next day. Now . . . now they just wanted to be together.
O o O o O
The sonic boom echoed over Metropolis and the people below smiled. It had been a month since Superman had left the hospital after his harrowing encounter with the late Lex Luthor. Although the details of what exactly happened would likely never be made public knowledge, there were now very few people in Metropolis who took his presence for granted.
They knew he was not immortal or completely invulnerable now. And though he would always be super to them, he was now more than just a hero who swooped in to save the day. He had a personality, depth, and sense of humor.
From the stories of his transfer across the hospital and the video of his failed flight, to the statements from the first responders and his words outside the hospital, his given name was about more than just his powers now.
He was strong and persistent, but also gentle and softhearted.
He was their Superman, and his resilience was unbreakable.
~ The End ~
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