Title: Terms of Endearment (1/?)
Author: angelic_editor
Rating: PG for mild language
Summary: This is a sequel to "Terms of Estrangement," which can be found
here . It's probably best if you read "Terms of Estrangement" first, as this takes place directly after the events depicted. Now, Clark and Lois deal with the repercussions of his revelation.
Feedback: Better than chocolate, especially since I'm so new at this. Be brutal, kids.
Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine; the words are. Please don't take legal action, as poor college students aren't worth suing, anyway.
Miscellaneous: What started out as a short vignette has turned into a multi-part story, thanks to the amazing feedback from readers! At first I was worried I couldn't do justice to the story I wanted to tell, but you've all been so wonderful and supportive that I find I can't stop writing until 4 a.m.! Seriously, guys, I can't thank you enough for your kind words of encouragement; I hope you enjoy.
Prequel - Part One Prequel - Part Two ---------------------------------------
Under the weight of your wings
You are a god and whatever I want you to be
And I wonder if truly you are
Nearly as beautiful as I believe
— “In My Head,” Anna NalickLois Lane surreptitiously studied her partner over the rim of her coffee cup. Less than twelve hours had passed since he’d told her, and she was still having trouble reconciling the information, still struggling with seeing him in a completely new, disconcerting light.
His back was to her while he methodically rifled through recent copies of The Daily Planet stowed in an overflowing file cabinet.
Clark Kent. Superman. One and the same.
It was strange to suddenly view Clark as, well, superhuman.
And to see Superman as completely human.
Sure, Lois often wondered what the hero did when he wasn’t rescuing people from burning buildings or dismantling bombs or flying into her apartment to check up on her, but she’d never managed to totally personify him. Never imagined he could love Mel Gibson movies. Or listen to Pearl Jam. Or enjoy pizza and beer.
But he did — because he was Clark.
And I never even suspected. Some investigative reporter I am. The man behind the cape — he’s been here all this time, and I never knew.
Lois sipped her coffee, her dark eyes tracing the lean, muscular line of his broad shoulders.
Just like you never looked too far beneath Lex Luthor’s polished exterior, you half-wit.
Lois set down her mug harder than she intended.
Not now. I don’t want to think about this now.
Too many thoughts were bouncing in her exhausted brain, ones that she’d pushed away during the drive back to her apartment, during the sleepless night she’d spent staring at the ceiling above her bed.
The tortured look in Clark’s brown eyes.
The pain she’d heard in his voice when he’d told her he — Superman — couldn’t save everyone.
How does he do it? How does he separate himself from Superman? And talk about a responsibility complex from hell …The panic she’d felt when she realized she’d forgotten to reassure him that she wouldn’t tell anyone about his secret.
Driving back to his apartment at 3 a.m. to tell him so.
The elation that had rippled through her when he’d pulled her into his arms afterward.
The doubts that dogged the heels of all her thoughts.
It’s too scary to trust this — it’s too much, too soon.
Against her wishes, her mind’s eye replayed the events of the past few weeks in a whirlwind, ulcer-inducing montage. Lex’s unexpected proposal. Clark’s subsequent declaration of love in Centennial Park. Her shaky “I love you like a brother” response. Later asking Superman if there was any hope for a relationship. Rejection. The confusion, the heartache. Accepting Lex’s offer. Her pre-wedding trepidation.
“Lois Lane-Luthor. Lois Luthor-Lane. Lois Lane … Kent.” The disastrous wedding that almost was. The police raid, led by Perry and Jimmy. Lex’s outrage. Lex’s death. Clark, comforting her minutes later. A painful, self-imposed estrangement. Anger. Heartfelt confessions. Hurt. Denial. Love. Doubt.
Fear? Lois shook her head, trying to clear it.
Funny, how everything had seemed so small and unimportant when Clark held her outside his door this morning.
For just a few minutes, everything had faded to mere background noise, safely muted inside a Pandora’s box somewhere in the back of her mind.
She’d felt so safe, so cared for, so …
Shut up, brain. Focus.
She turned back to her computer screen, reluctantly dragging her eyes away from Clark, and accessed her e-mail.
Scrolling through the seemingly endless spam, she absently wondered if Clark was wearing the Suit beneath his khakis and blue button-down shirt.
Work, Lane, she reminded herself sternly.
But — wouldn’t that get uncomfortable, all those layers? What does he do with his real clothes when he becomes the Man of Steel? And how does the cape fit under there?She made a mental note to ask him later.
If we can actually hold a conversation, Lois reminded herself soberly.
Right now, he won’t even look at me.
She sighed and scanned Perry’s latest staff e-mail for two long minutes without comprehending the information before giving up.
Her thoughts were too muddled.
Was it really too much? Did we cover so much emotional ground that Clark’s even more freaked out than I am? Why hasn’t he even uttered a ‘good morning’ to me?She didn’t know.
You. Are. Ridiculous, she rebuked herself.
Still, she couldn’t concentrate. Her mind kept bouncing back to Clark, who was now seated at his desk, intent on a pile of newsprint.
This is the man who can save the world six times before lunch, Lois reflected, a little awed by the thought.
This is the man I’ve idolized, I’ve dreamed about, I’ve … loved. Or, at least, thought
I loved.
She furrowed her brow.
He’s — he’s Clark.
Lois almost laughed out loud at the irony. Clark, the nice guy, the best friend. Her safety net, her support. The man she’d foolishly rejected countless times in favor of his spandex-clad alter ego.
She would’ve laughed, had the thought not depressed her so much.
Her gaze wandered back to Clark, watching as he absently tapped a pencil against his desk while he read through whatever story he was so focused on.
She watched him, superimposing a mental image of a bright blue suit and red cape over Clark’s seated figure engrossed in research.
They blurred together, the real and the imagined, but when Lois blinked, she was staring at Clark once more.
Just Clark — the person who truly mattered.
I’m sorry I’ve been so stupid, she silently apologized.
I’m sorry I didn’t know; I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t let me in.
Lois gathered what little reserves of courage she had left and stood.
But you can’t shut me out now.
* * * * *
Clark focused on his research. On the pen in his hand, scribbling away in the notepad on his desk.
His eyes flicked between the recent Planet report on gang violence in Hobbs Bay and his notes.
Anything but Lois.
Lois.
His hand shook, and a line of blue ink sliced through a neatly printed column of crime-rate increases from the past eight years.
Damn. Focus.
He didn’t dare look up from his work. He couldn’t meet Lois’ eyes, which he knew would be full of questions and concern.
In fact, he’d been studiously avoiding Lois since he’d arrived at The Planet an hour ago.
And he wasn’t sure why.
He only knew that last night’s — well, this morning’s — conversation had left him more rattled than facing Nightfall the second time.
The knot in his gut was bigger, tighter, than the one he’d felt when Lois had told him she was marrying Lex Luthor.
Clark’s grip tightened on his pen.
You’re such an idiot. A coward. A complete —“Clark?”
Oh, God.
Clark’s hand stilled mid-word. His eyes were riveted on his notepad. He couldn’t look up. He just
couldn’t.
“Clark, I — I know this is a little … awkward,” Lois began haltingly. “But you haven’t even looked — ”
Clark’s head jerked up.
His eyes met Lois’ gaze, and she saw the hesitation there, mirroring her own. He looked almost … scared.
“ … at me,” she finished quietly.
Clark raked a hand through his hair and rubbed at the back of his neck. His thoughts were racing faster than a Kentucky thoroughbred at the Derby, but he couldn’t think of a single intelligent thing to say.
Lois cleared her throat.
“Clark — ”
“Lois — ”
They stopped, each searching the other’s features.
A smile ghosted across Lois’ lips.
“You first, Kent,” she said.
Clark ducked his head, embarrassed.
“I just … I don’t know what to say,” he mumbled, his eyes fixated on the back of his oak nameplate. “I wish I did, Lois.”
He looked up at her then, losing himself in her dark eyes shining with compassion.
“I just — ”
“Look,” Lois interrupted, “I know this has to be — ” She stopped and looked around to see if anyone was listening to their conversation. “Weird,” she continued in a lower tone. “It is, kind of. I mean, a lot. I mean … oh, God. You know what I mean.”
Clark nodded mutely, willing himself not to grin at Lois’ babbling and marveling at her ability to lift his mood.
And to think you were too damn scared to even look at her just a minute ago.
He turned his attention back to what Lois was saying.
“Because I know and no one else knows and it’s just … weird.” She paused. “And, um — well … after all that happened last night … ” She trailed off, unable to voice all she was feeling.
Clark took a deep breath and pressed his advantage in the sudden lull.
Say it. Now, before you overthink.
“Lois, let’s, uh, have dinner tonight. Together.”
Smooth, he inwardly groaned.
For a Neanderthal.
Lois’ breath hitched. For a moment, she didn’t move.
Dinner? Like a date?She smiled.
Like a — like a date.
“Clark, I’d — ”
“Help!”“ … love to.”
Great timing, Clark thought darkly, then quickly apologized to whatever deity might be listening to his innermost thoughts.
I didn’t mean it, I swear. It’s just — oh, never mind.
He nearly sighed out loud.
Superman to the rescue. Again.
Clark looked at Lois’ beaming face and his heart constricted.
Please understand, he silently implored.
He stood, already tugging at his tie.
“Good! Great!” He was already around the desk, backing away. “But Lois, I’m so sorry, I have to — ”
She looked startled for a brief moment, but quickly recovered when the realization hit.
I can’t let him think up another lame excuse. I just can’t. They’re just too awful. ‘Return a video’ — really?“Meet a source?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Uh — y-yeah,” Clark stammered, a little shaken by her response. “I’ll be back, I promise — as soon as I can.”
Lois grinned as she watched him go, forcing herself to ignore the knot of fear in the pit of her stomach that had formed at the thought of Clark — not merely Superman, but her
partner — risking everything to help a stranger in trouble.
And you think I’m going to hang around here while you save the day?“Jimmy! Grab your camera!”
She grabbed her bag and headed for the stairs, determined to get tomorrow’s page-one Superman exclusive.
Not a chance, Farmboy.
