Lois Lane’s writing always seems to get her into sticky situations. What happens when this one gets her and her partner more than they bargained for? Or imagined… Wow, this story took long enough and the best part is the end is still not complete. 
It’s a revelation piece that I wrote based on coming to terms with my own love. It was started, it was completed, it was practically deleted then it started over. I hadn’t looked at this piece in almost 3 months and surprised myself with what I wrote. It finally felt right to post it and maybe get some encouragement to complete it.
It looks like it will be 11 parts. It might be 12 if there is an epilogue or part 11 is running too long to post…we’ll have to see.
Special thanks to those on mIRC who saw parts and liked what they saw. Also, to the ever famous Rachel, who most of my creative endeavors have been inspired and edited by. Oh yes and bitten by 
.
This is dedicated to my love, who I believe is the Clark Kent of my life. Till the end, always…
I promise that none of these characters are mine and some of the lines from the show that are in here are not but the story is mine. Don’t take it please, just read it. Enjoy, nag, comment, whatever. *********
Part 1The clock on Lois’ beside table shone 2:07 a.m. She groaned. This was the 10th or 12th time tonight she found herself rolling over to stare at the red numbers. Those horrid little red numbers, they dictated her schedule and drove her crazy when she couldn’t sleep.
Lois rolled back into her mass of pillows and stared up. The street light was making odd shapes and lines appear over her head. This light was being reflected upward by the lacey curtains making her stare with fascination. She laid transfixed for what seemed like hours, just watching the tiny specks of light. Suddenly the curtains ruffled and the patterns changed making her lose her concentration and will to sleep.
Sitting up slowly, Lois felt like she was rising from a grave. Her body ached in odd places and her mind felt like an ocean of darkness.
Maybe a glass of water would help her out. Sliding the sheets off her body, Lois swung her feet off the side of the bed to the floor. The cool wood floor beneath her feet made Lois shiver involuntary. Though it was early summer, the nights still got pretty chilly forcing her to wear flannel pajama bottoms and one of Clark’s T-Shirts.
It wasn’t complete torture wearing Clark’s shirt, but when did he leave it here? Lois pulled the collar of the shirt to her nose and inhaled deeply. She almost fell back into bed, dazed by the smell. Who cared, as long as that smell lasted, she have no problem wearing it.
Lois stopped her inner babbling to think straight for a minute. Clark Kent was her co-worker and best friend. Lately, their relationship had become more and more difficult to define. They had one “almost first date” which was really sweet. However, she was getting tired of Clark’s lame excuses and long absences. If he were any other man, she might have not given him a second glance but when Clark was around, something changed inside her. Lois was free from her tortured soul and placed into a world where reality was obsolete and dreams were blossoming right before their eyes.
Why was she thinking about him now? She didn’t need to fill her mind with more things! Lois made her way over to the kitchen. She grabbed a clean glass from the dish rack and filled it with water from the tap. As the fresh liquid slipped down Lois’ throat, thoughts of Clark came drifting back to her in one simple statement.
She was in love with him. She. Lois Lane was falling in love with Clark Kent.
No, not falling in love but falling desperately in love with Clark The statement sent a wave of pain through her body. How could a man so preoccupied with whatever, feel the same way about her. Lois sighed aloud, “So that’s, that.”
Ready to crawl back into bed, Lois felt that these thoughts of Clark should be kept to herself. But how can one keep a secret like love locked inside when all you want to do is shout it out the window and pray that your lover is nearby, listing to your loud confession. Lois knew there must be a more civilized way to get these feelings off her chest. What if she wrote a letter? Yes, a letter to Clark about how she felt. Clark would never see it of course but just to get her feelings out. Maybe this is what subconsciously was keeping Lois up.
Quickly going over to her tiny apartment desk, Lois rummaged for some paper and a pen. Flicking on the tiny light on the desk, Lois sat down and dated her paper. She then stared at the lined notebook paper. It’s the kind of paper that screams to be written on even if you have nothing to say. The problem was, Lois had plenty to say, a soul full of words to say. Just then her hand started to move and the pen started to write in an elegant cursive.
‘I am one of the best writers in Metropolis and words fail me when I think of you. Your smile, your eyes and disarming personality put me into a place which I can’t describe. It’s beyond love and joy, its heaven. You put me in such a peaceful state and mind set I don’t know now what I would do without you.
I love you Clark.
I love you so much it hurts to breath when I think of you. I never thought I could love someone so deeply that it affects me physically as well as emotionally. Your soul is filled with an incredible amount of kindness and strength. Your patient nature is something so magical that it even rubs off on me, making me a more understanding individual. If it weren’t for that unconditional kindness and tolerance for me, I don’t think I would have it for you and your excuses lately. However, I know you are much more than that.
Sometimes it seems to me you came from another planet, another life time. Men around here are not like you and for that I am most grateful. For a long time I wished someone like you would come into my life and take me away. Although you’re here now, not much taking has been done. Sure we have kissed once or twice only to realize later that it wasn’t real and we were just pretending. Honestly, I don’t think I ever pretended.
When I was young, I longed for love so much that when I thought I would never receive it, I locked my heart up. I swore not to give it to anyone. I can’t give it to you unfortunately for it seems you already have it. Completely, endlessly, forever, it’s yours.
I know I mean a great deal to you but it appears you don’t have the time to be fully devoted to me like I could be to you. I feel so sorry for us. Maybe great feelings and great loves are only for story books and princesses in high towers. It’s not something that happens to two real world reporters with hectic careers and drama around every turn. Where’s the time?
Clark, I want to be with you. I want to love you even if you don’t have the time to love me. I can accept that. Someone so amazing deserves no less than what I offer you; devotion and everlasting love. I hope if it’s not that way for you….’ At this line Lois stopped. Tears were pouring softly down her cheeks and making little spouts on the paper. “Why does he do this to me?” she whispered softly, “How can he break me down like this?” Lois was about to cap the pen and go to bed when suddenly something clicked inside her.
She wasn’t finished yet.
Lois looked down at the last sentence she wrote;
‘I hope if it’s not that way for you…’ How could she wrap this up? Lois scratched her head with the tip of the pen and then placed it back to the paper.
‘I really just hope it’s not. You will never see this letter so what does it matter? Why do I even bother?
Then it dawns on me, I bother because I care and love you. I love you more than all the stars in heaven and all the little grains of sand on the shore. I will love you till the deserts fill with water and the snowy mountains melt away. I will love you till the end, no matter what.
Thanks for being my best friend.
Thanks for filling my life with a light I never thought I would see.
Thanks for being Clark.
I love you.
Forever and for Always,
Lois She read it over. She read it over for what seemed like a thousand times and then quickly capped the pen, switched off the desk light, and retreated to her room. She slumped into bed and started to cry. At first, her tears were soft and her voice quiet but soon that erupted into strong sobs and labored breathing. The last thing she could remember was hugging a pillow close to her chest, whispering, “I’m loving in vain, I’m truly loving in vain."
To Be Continued...
