Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Don't Tell: a vignette

Carol, it's great to have you back. This vignette is so beautiful. I love the way you show us the young, adolescent Clark, his attempts to find his place in the world, to deal with his differences, to find somebody to confide in. He has to deal with his hormones - not that they are unmanageable - and he learns first hand what can happen when you don't keep those things under control. And he learns, so painfully, that a beautiful body does not always contain a beautiful mind. Because the people you least suspect may turn out to be less than trustworthy. And therefore he has to be so careful with his own secret, more careful than he would ever have thought.

I love your portrayal of Clark's teenaged eagerness and innocence. I'm usually no big fan of stories that don't have Lois in them. The fact that I love this vignette proves how beautiful and poignant I found it. (You said it hasn't been beta read; well, you could have fooled me. Your prose is just lovely.)

Again, welcome back, Carol. You are a wonderful writer, and it is so good to see you on these boards again.

Ann

This is a wonderful story, Carol. Your writing is exceptional and manages to capture the reader from the very first moment. Lovely view on teenage Clark's world, and as for the idea... what can I say? Perfect.

See ya,
AnnaBtG.

Very well done. It is a pity they haven't hired you to write smallville.

Wow, Carol. Wow!

That was an incredible look into an adolescent Clark. You evoked the elation and frustration Clark clearly felt as his powers developed and he was nearing his ability to fly. One more step over the ravine and he would have been soaring.

But he knew better than overstepping the bounds.

When I read about Rachel's secret, I suspected that Lana would blab, but it also explained how Rachel and Clark ended up at the prom together. They weren't boyfriend and girlfriend--they were for a moment kindred spirits understanding the dangers of gossip and the betrayal of friends who do gossip.

Great story. Didn't need beta-reading at all. But didn't you miss my 'red' comments?

gerry

Interesting look at Clark's childhood and adolesence, how he might have learned the importance of choosing who to trust.

Couldn't help laughing at the small reflection on Lana's sweater and what was underneath--a very teenage boy moment

Also liked how he was so sweet with Rachel (for obvious reasons, a character I can't help liking). And how he first realised his superhearing at the moment when she was being so brave.

And how could I not enjoy this:

Ditto everyone else. This was a wonderful story with great insight into a teenage Clark. I really loved the explanation for why he ended up taking Rachel to the prom. Susan

Hi Carol,

Just great to see you writing again, and this story was certainly worth waiting for.

It is a wonderful insight into the mind of a teenage boy, one who has a few extra problems to contend with. I could feel Clark's elation and anxiety.

You write beautifully too, as always.

Yours Jenni

This is so beautiful (sigh). It made me smile and had me in tears, all in a few seconds.

LOL!

And then this:

Awww... the turmoil and the conflict, so wonderfully portrayed. Now we know why, years later, Clark found it so hard to tell Lois his secret. I'm sorry for Rachel's anguish but it's a good thing our teenaged Clark found out about Lana's true nature before he betrayed himself in a weak and possibly hormonal moment after the prom. Beautifully thought out, Carol!

Thank you for a wonderful vignette!

Ursie

This was a great story of a young Clark Kent! Way better than the dreck they are showing on Smallville. You have a perfect balance of teenage eagerness and innocence with Clark's inheranct responsibility and maturity that his parents gave him. And the way you worked it out so that Clark took Rachel to his senior prom...just so touching. Wonderful stuff.

Ann wrote:
Me neither!! And also if it's about a teenage Clark Kent, And especially if Lana is in it. No idea why this story came to me

Gerry wrote:
So what about that split infinitive?? Eh? Yes, I do miss your 'red' comments.

Rachel and Ursie thanks for pointing out bits you liked - nice to know which parts worked well. I always liked the character of Rachel, too.

And Ursie, thanks, too, for your comment on 'The Fact of the Matter'.

Anna, Framework, Groobie, TVnerdgirl, and Jenni thanks for your comments. I really appreciate your encouragement.

c.

I'm sorry I haven't commented before, Carol. I've had the stomach flu since Friday of last week and am just now starting to feel human again.

I really liked the portraits you painted of shallow Lana, who regards the confidence of a friend as unimportant, of young Clark who discovers Lana's untrustworthiness and superficiality, and of Rachel, who makes the mistake of trusting a friend -- and teaches Clark a valuable lesson along the way. I gives a certain validity to why Clark might not be willing to trust Lois with his secret long after he should have.

Nan

Thanks, Nan, for your comment. Hope your flu is better this morning, and sorry about those computer probs you're having right now.

c.