Tea Totaled
By AnnieM and KathyB
Rated PG-13
_______________
Lois padded from the bathroom to her bedroom, clad only in a towel, removing the curlers from her hair and smoothing it into place. A quick glance in mirror assured her that her hair and makeup were in order. She shook her head, wondering how she had let Lucy talk her into this. It was ten o'clock on a Thursday night. Normally at this time, she'd be settling in for the night. But tonight was Lucy's twenty-third birthday, so rather than getting dressed for bed, she was getting dressed to go out dancing.
She'd never heard of the club that Lucy has chosen. It was called "The Quality Bar," but from Lucy's descriptions, she imagined "The Quantity Bar" would have been a more fitting name. Lucy apparently was in love with one of the bartenders. Lois could only imagine what this flame of the week was like, but part of the birthday bargain had been that Lucy got to choose the location and Lois had to come without complaining. She wasn't relishing the thought of hanging out with a bunch of Lucy's friends, but she figured she could always leave early, explaining that she had to work in the morning, if she got really bored.
She sifted through the clothes in her closet, pondering what to wear. Lucy, no doubt, would be dressed to kill. She was a woman with a mission, and she had every intention of showing her bartender just what she had to offer. Lois, on the other hand, had no such mission, and her style was decidedly tamer than Lucy's in any case.
She reached for jeans, then hesitated. She should at least wear a skirt. Her hand hovered above one of her favorite suits. It was serviceable, and if she didn't wear the jacket, it wouldn't really look like she was going to the office.
As she removed the hanger from the rack, her phone rang. Before she even heard the voice on the other end, she knew it was Lucy. Pulsing music and the din of numerous conversations assaulted her as soon as she picked up the receiver.
"Lois!" she heard Lucy yell over the background noise. "Where are you?"
"I'm getting dressed. I'll be there soon."
"You're not wearing one of those awful suits are you?"
"My suits are not awful!"
"Lois!"
"Fine. No, I'm not going to wear a suit," Lois said, placing her initial choice back on the rack. She started to reach for her jeans when Lucy broke in with, "and don't wear jeans either! For crying out loud, Lois, I know you have cute outfits, and you never wear them."
"Lucy, in case you've forgot, I've been dressing myself every day since I was four without your help. I do not need your input."
She could hear Lucy snort in response. "What happened to that short black skirt? You know, the one with the little slit off center in the front. It's cute and it shows off your legs."
"Lucy, I really don't -"
"Oh! And you can wear that red silk shirt with it! You know - the tank top."
"Lucy, I wear that *under* other shirts, not on its own."
Lois wasn't entirely sure, but she thought she heard Lucy mutter something about stick in the mud. Before she could respond, Lucy barged on. "Just do it, Lois. Trust me, it will look great. And I left my red heeled sandals at your apartment. You can borrow those. They'll be perfect."
There was a commotion at the other end of the line that sounded like someone was dragging Lucy to the bar. "Okay! Gotta go! Hurry up, Lois!"
As the dial tone buzzed in her ear, Lois hung up the phone and walked back to her closet. She hesitated for a moment, but finally gave up and pulled out the outfit Lucy had described. It wouldn't kill her to dress up for one night.
She slipped on the outfit and examined herself in the mirror. She hated to admit it, but Lucy was right. The shirt was a bold red and fit just right - tight, but not clingy. It was sleeveless with a scoop neck that was generous without being too revealing. The shirt ended just below the waistband of her straight black skirt. It ended a couple inches above the knee, and the slit showed off a generous portion of her right thigh. The strappy red sandals with high, square heels added length to her already long legs. Lucy was right, this was a great outfit. She was almost disappointed she didn't have someone to show off for.
She dumped her keys, credit cards and some cash into a small red purse, grabbed her coat, and was out the door before she could change her mind.
*****
Parking her Jeep a block away, Lois walked down the sidewalk until she found herself in front of The Quality Bar. She eyed the door doubtfully. Even from the street, she could hear the pulse of the music coming from inside. It was faint, but she had no doubt it would be a lot louder once she opened the door. Still, the neighborhood seemed nice enough ... she'd certainly met snitches in worse places, at least.
Pulling open the door and stepping inside, Lois glanced around the room, pleasantly surprised. Three pool tables were set up to her right, separated from the rest of the bar by a low wall. Several partially filled glasses rested on the ledge, while a twenty-something waitress cleared away empty beer mugs from a group of men who were getting ready to leave. The far side of the bar was a bit more crowded, however, as it included a dance floor with a brightly-lit neon juke-box in far corner. The place wasn't oppressively crowded, but from the number of people dancing, Lois had a feeling there was rarely a shortage of music.
A loud squeal reached her ears and Lois turned just in time to be caught in a bear hug by her sister. "Lois! You made it!"
Lois couldn't help but laugh at her sister's excited tone. "Well, I said I'd be here, didn't I?"
"Yes, and you look *wonderful*," her sister enthused. "I told you that outfit would look totally hot on you!" Before Lois could formulate a response, Lucy was pulling her towards the large bar that took up the middle of the room. "Come on, you've gotta meet Jerry."
Perching herself on an empty bar stool next to her sister, Lois watched speculatively as Lucy began chattering excitedly at the bartender, clearly fawning all over him. So this was the famous Jerry? He didn't look so special ... sure, he was moderately attractive -- if you liked rugged blonds with perfect teeth -- but why did Lucy always go for looks over brains? The guy worked in a bar, for goodness sake! He probably would always be happy to make minimum wage. And he probably had no idea how to hold a normal conversation, either. When would Lucy ever learn?
At that moment, the young man thrust his hand out over the bar. "Nice to meet you, Lois," he said in a relaxed, friendly voice. "Jerry Maxwell. Lucy has told me a lot about you."
Lois took his hand, a bit surprised. His handshake was firm and confident, and he was actually looking her in the eye. Usually Lucy's boyfriends were kind of, well, weasily ...and Lois wasn't quite sure what to make of the change. "Um, nice to meet you, too, Jerry."
The three of them made small-talk for a few minutes, but as she watched Lucy continue to make doe-eyes at her newest conquest, Lois made a sound of exasperation. "So, how long have you been working here, Jerry?" she finally interjected, trying to sound as if she actually cared about the answer. The kid barely looked old enough to drink, let alone serve.
"About two years," came the response. "I started out waiting tables and worked my way up."
"Jerry is the night manager," Lucy interjected proudly. "And he's a great bartender. He can even juggle bottles, like Tom Cruise did in that movie!"
"Oh ... great," Lois forced out with clearly fake enthusiasm. "Is there much of a future in juggling bottles?"
Lucy shot her a warning look, but Jerry only laughed. "Well, hopefully when I have my own place, I'll be able to keep my customers entertained. I'll be graduating next year with my business degree and I'm hoping to open my own bar and grill someday soon."
Lois blinked in surprise. "You ... go to college?"
"Metropolis University," came the reply. He gave Lucy a warm smile. "That's actually where we met ... I was registering for next semester and she came in to pick up a catalog."
Lucy beamed. "I wasn't sure I wanted to take classes anymore, but Jerry talked me into it. He said that if I keep working it, eventually I'll get my degree, too."
Lois was flabbergasted. Lucy was actually dating a *normal* guy? One who was encouraging her to go to school? It was almost too much to comprehend! Almost despite herself, Lois began to relax ... maybe this night wouldn't be a total disaster, after all.
"So, ladies, what can I get you to drink?" Jerry asked brightly. "Lucy, you said you wanted something fun to celebrate."
Before her younger sister could answer, Lois placed her order. "I'll just have a glass of white wine."
"Lois! It's my birthday," Lucy protested. "It's not a work party. Live a little, will ya?"
Lois looked at her sister defensively. "What are you talking about? There's nothing wrong with white wine."
"It's just so boring, that's all! We're in a totally fun bar ... Jerry can mix up anything you want. Come on, loosen up!" Lucy began to grin as she leaned suggestively over the bar towards her new boyfriend. "What do you suggest, Jerry? I seem to remember you telling me you had a real talent for Screaming Orgasms."
Lois rolled her eyes. "Oh, give me a--"
"Or maybe Lois would like to have Sex On The Beach."
"Lucy!"
Her sister laughed out loud. "Lois, you have been away from college for far too long!"
Jerry watched the interplay between the two sisters with amusement. "May I make a suggestion?"
Lois shot Lucy a warning look. "Please."
"I'm well-known for my Long Island Iced Tea ... sound good?"
Lucy's face broke into a broad grin. "Hey, now you're talkin'!" she exclaimed.
Lois glanced at her sister, a little confused. White wine was too boring, yet iced tea was fine? Sometimes she thought she'd never figure Lucy out. And here she thought Lucy would be trying to get her drunk. With a name like iced tea, how strong could the drink be? "OK, I'll try it," she agreed.
Jerry grinned. "Two Long Island Iced Teas, coming up!"
*****
Lois closed one eye as she leaned over the pool table, lining up her next shot. "Eight ball in the corner pocket," she announced.
A loud chorus of "No way!" came from the group of people at the other end of the table, but as Lois sunk the shot cleanly, their protests turned to roars of laughter. Grinning, she hefted the pool cue over her head. "The winner and still champion!"
As the men she'd just defeated shook their heads and handed over their money, Lucy doubled over with laughter. "How is it, Lois, that when other people drink, their pool skills go to hell, but when you drink, you only get better?"
Lois laughed and took another sip of her drink, noticing with some disappointment that the tall glass she'd been served was almost empty. "It must be this iced tea that Jerry makes," she said, suddenly unable to stop herself from giggling. "You were right, Luce, he is a good bart-- barten-- drink maker-upper!"
The two women dissolved in peals of laughter as they replaced their pool cues and headed back towards the bar. "Maybe you need another one," Lucy suggested. "Then you can try darts."
Lois teetered a bit on her high heels, but by holding onto the edge of the bar, she was able to slip onto an empty stool without falling. "I don't know," Lois chuckled doubtfully. "I'm feeling a little tipsy. Probably shouldn't let me handle sharp objects."
Lucy just grinned. "A little tipsy, huh? Lois, honey, you are flat-out drunk and you know it!"
"Me?" Lois responded with astonishment. "There you go again, Little Sis, confusing us again ... you're the one who's swaying in your seat."
Lucy exchanged an amused look with Jerry, who had just come up to talk to them. "Um, Lois, I'm fine ... you're the one who's-- Oh, never mind. Jerry, sweetie, do you think you can get us another drink? I think I'll try a rum and Diet Coke this time."
Jerry nodded. "Anything the birthday girls wants. Lois, how about you?"
"Oh, I don't know ... how about another one of those Iced Tea mixie thingies? They don't really taste like iced tea, so I'm not sure why you call it that, but it tasted good!"
Lucy looked uncertain. "Uh, Lois, I don't know ... you've already had a Long Island, an amaretto sour, and a rum and Coke. Are you sure you should have any more?"
Lois burst out laughing as she took in the doubtful look on her sister's face. "Lucy-Goosey, now who's being a stick in the mud? It's my baby sister's birthday!" As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Lois's expression grew tender. "My baby sister ... twenty-three years old. Oh, Lucy, you're all grown up now!"
Eyes widening, Lucy burst out laughing at her sister's sudden emotional outburst. "Oh, God, Jerry, get this woman what she wants. She's going to start getting all sappy on us in a minute!"
When the drink appeared before her, Lois leaned over eagerly and took a long draw on the straw. "Like it's sappy to say how much I like my little sister!" she protested, then started giggling again.
Jerry leaned over the counter towards Lucy, a grin on his face. "I like your little sister, too," he declared, stealing a kiss from the birthday girl.
"Oh, now that's what I call a present!" Lucy declared and threw her arms around his neck, happy to encourage a repeat performance.
As she watched two trade kisses back and forth, however, Lois just sighed wistfully. "Clark is a really good kisser, you know," she suddenly announced.
Lucy pulled out of Jerry's embrace in astonishment. "When have you kissed Clark?"
Lois smiled, more animated now that she had her sister's attention back. "Oh, I've kissed him lots of times," she said brightly. "I was kissing him when I barely knew him! Of course, we were about to be thrown out of an airplane at the time and I used the kiss as a way to whisper my plan to him -- not that it helped because there were like four of them and only two of us and they were pretty big and had guns--"
"Lois?"
"What? Oh, yeah, kissing Clark ... I also kissed him when we were undercover in the Honeymoon Suite ... well, actually, he kissed me. Threw me right down on the bed and laid on top of me--"
Lucy's eyes were wide as she leaned forward. "Wow ..."
"Yeah, and then -- just when things were getting good! -- the stupid maid walked in with extra towels. I mean, we were there on a our honeymood; who needs towels!
"You mean you were there *pretending* to be on your honeymoon--"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Lois took another drink from her glass. "And then, of course, there was that time I got drunk on that pheromone spray and went to his apartment to seduce him."
"You seduced Clark??" A loud squeal erupted from her sister, causing several customers nearby to look over at them with curiosity. "Oh, my God, how was he??"
In contrast to her sister's joyful outburst, however, Lois just looked glum as she rested her chin on her hand. "I don't know; he was being all noble and wouldn't take advantage of me. I should have been more forceful ... that's my problem, I have a hard time being forceful around guys that I like."
Lucy choked on her drink, causing a concerned Jerry to pat her on the back.
"Anyway, it doesn't matter," Lois continued, beginning to slur as she rambled on. "It's not like he likes me or anything. I mean, he told me he loved me once, but before I could do anything about, he took it back."
"I don't know, Lois," Lucy offered, finally recovered from her coughing jag. "Clark seems like a really nice guy. I think you should try again." She paused for a moment, then continued with a teasing smile. "Plus he's totally hot."
A huge grin spread across Lois's face. "He is really good-looking, isn't he? I mean, it's not often you can find a guy who looks good in anything. He looks good in his suits for work, he looks good in him gym clothes--"
"Mmm, gym clothes," Lucy sighed dreamily.
"And he looks *fantastic* in a towel," Lois added, purring happily at the memory.
Lucy squealed again. "You saw Clark in nothing but a towel??" she exclaimed, grabbing onto her sister's arm excitedly.
Lois's grin broadened even more. "Yeah, and he was still wet from the shower ... all those drops of water, running down his skin, disappearing into his--"
"Oh my *Gawd*!" Lucy exclaimed, picking up her ice-filled glass and running it along her neck to cool off. "You are, like, *so* totally lucky, Lois!"
"And I haven't even started telling you about how utterly *amazing* he looks in black!"
*****
Superman landed gently on Clark Kent's balcony, and, after checking to make sure he hadn't been seen, quickly entered through the bedroom door. As soon as the door was closed, he spun out of his suit and into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. What a night!
He'd been in the newsroom all evening, working with Jimmy to dig up the information he needed for one of his stories. They'd made some great progress, but by the time ten-thirty had rolled around, Clark had found himself getting antsy. After he'd filled Jimmy in on what he needed and set the young man to work, he'd been relegated to the sidelines as his computer-genius friend worked his magic. His fidgeting had only increased as he began to hear sirens coming from the Hobbs Bay area ... there had been an increase of gang activity in the area in recent weeks and while the cops seemed to be getting things under control, Clark had been meaning to have Superman put in an appearance in the neighborhood to show that he was keeping watch as well. Fortunately, just as he was formulating an excuse, Jimmy noticed his distraction. Mistaking it for tiredness, Jimmy had laughed and told Clark to go home, that he would finish up and email the relevant information. Clark was only too happy to accept the offer.
Now, however, it was a little over two hours later and he was anxious to see what Jimmy had found. With a amused shake of his head, Clark opened the lid to his laptop computer and booted up the machine. When the Daily Planet had been rebuilt last year, the email system had been upgraded and was not only a lot faster now, but staff members with computers could also log onto their email from home. Lois had been quick to embrace the new technology, but Clark had been skeptical at first -- if he had work to do, why couldn't he just do it in the newsroom? But he couldn't help but admit that he was starting to change his mind. After the long day he'd had, it was certainly convenient to have the new technology available.
Disconnecting his telephone, Clark plugged the modem cord from his computer into his phone jack and logged into his work account. Perry had set a deadline of ten o'clock tomorrow morning on his investigation, and while Clark was determined to prove that there was indeed a story here, time was running out. The only thing that could save him now was if Jimmy could work one of his miracles and find the proof that Clark knew was out there, but was having trouble accessing.
Clark grimaced as he checked his mail -- no new messages. Come on, Jimmy ... what's going on? He opened a new message of his own.
__________________
To: JimmyOlsen@dailyplanet.com
From: ClarkKent@dailyplanet.com
Date: Friday, 21 October 1994, 00:38
Subject: How's it going?
Yo, Jimbo! Are you still there? Find anything yet?
Clark
__________________
He sent the email and waited. If Jimmy was on his computer, he should get the message right away. If not, well, Clark would just have to wait until morning. Fortunately, it wasn't long before he had his response.
__________________
To: ClarkKent@dailyplanet.com
From: JimmyOlsen@dailyplanet.com
Date: Friday, 21 October 1994, 00:40
Subject: Re: How's it going?
CK! You still up? I thought you were going to bed?
Anyway, I'm almost done here. I found exactly what you were looking for. You'll definitely have enough to convince Perry that the Congressman is dirty. Give me another half-hour and I'll send you what I've got.
Jimmy
___________________
Clark pumped his fist triumphantly. Yes! His fingers flew over the keyboard.
____________________
To: JimmyOlsen@dailyplanet.com
From: ClarkKent@dailyplanet.com
Date: Friday, 21 October 1994, 00:40
Subject: You rock!
You're awesome, Jimmy ... I owe you, big time.
Clark
__________________
To: ClarkKent@dailyplanet.com
From: JimmyOlsen@dailyplanet.com
Date: Friday, 21 October 1994, 00:44
Subject: Re: You rock!
LOL! How did you get a message back so quickly? And I thought I typed fast ... anyway, go to bed. I'll see you in the morning. And tomorrow you can buy *me* coffee just like you always do for Lois. Only make sure it's strong and high-fat. None of that fake cream and sugar stuff that she likes.
Jimmy
____________________
To: JimmyOlsen@dailyplanet.com
From: ClarkKent@dailyplanet.com
Date: Friday, 21 October 1994, 00:45
Subject: Re: You rock!
Count on it ... good night! And thanks!
CK
____________________
Clark was still smiling as he shut down his computer and replaced the modem cord with his regular phone line. Heck, he'd be happy to buy Jimmy the entire contents of the coffee cart if the young man could pull this off!
Downing the last of his tea in a single gulp, Clark was about to take the empty mug into the kitchen when he was startled by the ring of his phone. He smiled. Jimmy must have gotten tired of email and decided to call.
Clark answered in a chipper voice. "Hey, what's going on?" He'd barely gotten out the words, however, when he pulled the phone away from his ear abruptly. Whoever was calling definitely wasn't in the newsroom. He could hear music blaring and glasses clinking and the din of many loud voices in the background. He tried again, confused. "Hello?"
"CLARK?"
Clark flinched as the voice yelled his name. "Lois?"
"Clark! Good, you're still up! I got a busy signal before. Who in the world were you talking to this late?"
"Lois? Where the heck are you?"
"I'm at a place called The Quality Bar ... I need you to get over here." He could have sworn he heard laughter in the background. "Right away!"
Clark furrowed his brow. The Quality Bar? What in the world was Lois doing in a bar at -- he craned his head to look at the kitchen clock -- nearly one o'clock in the morning? And why did her voice sound a little different than usual? "Are you on a stake-out and didn't tell me?" he demanded, feeling a flicker of annoyance at his partner. Ever since he'd won his first Kerth last month, she'd been even more competitive with him than usual. No wonder Lois wasn't interested in his investigation into the Congressman -- she had her own story, one that she wanted to keep to herself!
A loud clunk reached his ear, as if the phone had been dropped, then he heard a very feminine giggle as the person picked up the receiver again. "What?" she shouted, "I didn't hear you!"
Clark shook his head. "Forget it." Whatever was going on, she clearly wasn't going to tell him on the phone. "Where are you?" he asked loudly. "What's the intersection?"
"Um ... hey, you! In the blue shirt! What street are we on?" Her voice became less muffled. "Eighteenth and Concordia. So you're coming?"
He nodded into the phone. "Yeah, I'll be right there. Anything you need me to do first?"
Another giggle reached his ears and Clark eyes widened in astonishment. What in the world was Lois doing? "Yeah!" she called out, laughing. "Wear black!"
As the line went dead, Clark could only stare at the phone in his hand, utterly confused. Wear black? That little-- She was on a stake-out! And they were clearly going to be sneaking around somewhere where she didn't want them to be seen!
With a sigh, Clark replaced the handset and walked into his bedroom. The last thing he'd expected tonight was to change his clothes and go back out, but if Lois said to wear black, black she was going to get.
*****
TBC in part 2
