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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644 |
Wow, Wendy, this was even more of an emotional roller coaster than usual... you're just putting us through the wringer, here.
Thanks for that crumb of hope at the end... though with another 10 parts to go, I'm thinking this won't fix everything. Still, if it gets her in somewhat better shape for the rest of the day...
PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Jul 2005
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Yet another excellent chapter. My heart's still breaking for both of them, especially as Lois seems to become more and more resigned to her fate. Since there are 10 chapters to go, I'm guessing the ordeal isn't about to be over, but yay for a sliver of light in a quickly darkening world.
Chris
"Superman is a guy who's seen wonders we'll never see and Lois is to him, one of those wonders."
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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This part was so incredibly sad and sweet at the same time. On the one hand, she's dying, but on the other they are both trying so hard to be strong for the other. Heart-wrenching.
With the final bit of hope at the end.
Just marvelous.
**~~**
Swoosh --->
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Oh Wendy, another excellent installment. It was so sweet that Lois seems to be trying to stay strong for Clark.  I do wish however that they would tell each other that they love one another. Somehow, I think that will help Lois' healing.  More soon, please. You are simply an awesome writer! 
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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I'm hooked. I think the lure of the holidays pulled me in to finally take a peek at this story. What a roller coaster of emotion to quote like everyone else who's commented. I swear, between you and David, I'm going to have to buy more Kleenex! I wonder if fanfic-related purchases get some kind of special tax exemption. Just kidding.  JD
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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OMG! They're going to save her now, right??? That part about giving up... 
Mulder: Imagine if you could come back and take out five people who had caused you to suffer. Who would they be?
Scully: I only get five?
Mulder: I remembered your birthday this year, didn't I, Scully?
(The X-Files)
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 686 Likes: 4
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 686 Likes: 4 |
AHHHH! You just get meaner and meaner! I mean that was a HORRIBLE place to leave it! I want more now!  The bit where she blacks out was absolutely AMAZING. Simply heartwrenching. I think that was probably my favourite part so far in the story...and Clark pulling away after that makes so much sense. To think he has just lost her and to go through that fear, only to have her back though still sick would only just make him want to find that guy even more. His reply to Perry? CHILLING. SUCH a wonderful story! Please post more soon!
Spike: "There's a hole in the world...feels like we ought to have known."
-Angel
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Columnist
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More. More, more, more, more.
I want more.
Irene
P.S. I bought your cat a toy that she loves. Doesn't that mean I merit special treatment????? Like, oh, I don't know, maybe MORE!!!
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
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Pulitzer
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I love the tension in this story, the way Clark is trying to be strong and yet is terrified that he'll spend the rest of his life with a Lois-shaped hole in his heart.
And how Lois knows how much Superman is giving up for her, how many emergency calls are going unanswered just because of her. Yet she desperately wants him to stay with her. That's not selfishness, it's recognition of his love for her. Even though neither one has said the words, their actions are screaming "I love you!" to each other at the tops of their lungs.
Wow. I wish I could write half as well as this. I'm simultaneously envious of your talent and thrilled that you're willing to share it with us. Thanks ever so much.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Kerth
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Kerth
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Good for Dr. Sutton!! 
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Hi, Great part.  Beautiful! The world was starting to lose definition again.
“’s not your fault...” she said as he lifted her into the passenger seat.
The blurry thing above her which might have been a face swam almost into focus. Glasses. Brown eyes. A frowning mouth. “What, Lois?”
“Not y’r fault... ‘m going to die...”
Hands seized her shoulders, almost painfully. Shook her.
As if from a distance, a voice was calling her name.
“Lea’ me alone... tired... wan’ sleep...”
Sounds were fading in and out. “Lois! Come back... me, Lois... can’t... up now...”
Familiar voice. But sounding... different, somehow. “’lark...?”
“Lois! God, Lois, don’t do this to me! Come back!” “Thank god. Thank god. I thought... I thought I’d lost you just then. I thought... god, I thought that was some sick joke, that he’d said twenty-four hours and meant twelve!”
He buried his face in her hair. And in that instant she realised that he was shaking.  Get back here! More ASAP, please. MAF 
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Aug 2005
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OMG, what a cliffhanger!! Now I really can't wait for the next chapter
Greets,
~ An ~
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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You are killing me, Wendy. Just like Lois, I'm dying this slow horrible death - not from some unknown poison, but from reading this story in bits and pieces! Which, really, is a compliment to you - wonderful, emotional writing, and just a terrific story all around. I'm looking forward to the next parts, and here's hoping that Lois and Clark have some good news in store for them! Tracey 
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Oh God that was worse then riding a roller coaster! Ack poor Lois and Clark! Well at least it was a good long bit and it ended on a positive note! YAY! Please let it be good news for them. More soon. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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“Dr Sutton called the Planet. The latest lab tests have just come back. They’ve got a positive ID on the poison!” Finally you give us a little hope! But... /me looking suspiciously to Clark's words/ There are perhaps ten parts to go, I think more problems are coming  Besides, a positive ID doesn't mean that they have immediately the right treatment! And why so much time to find the poison? Is really so difficult to identify or so rare? What is it, kriptonite? Ooooh, so many questions! You really have to came back with another part as soon as possible, Wendy!  I love this story! Simona
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: May 2003
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...Wendy? You and SaraK, between you, have managed to knock the emotional stuffing out of me. So I'd love to comment on how heartwrenching and lovely this was, and how it made me sob into my cranberry juice at 9am this morning, and how I nearly had an aneurysm when I read Clark's line... but under the circumstances, I don't think I can Sara [eagerly waiting for more... when I recover... ]
Death: Easy, Bill. You'll give yourself a heart attack and ruin my vacation.
Meet Joe Black
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Okay. Wendy? Hi. It's me. Nicole. Just wanted to tell you what this story is doing to me. Really. I had a nightmare about your story last night. A nightmare! Probably because before I went to bed I saw you'd posted a new part, but I couldn't read it yet because I was too tired. But I dreamt the new part was like ten sentences long and Lois died and the story ended. DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO ME???? This is TORTURE and I'm going nuts!  Then I wake up and read it, and I'm in tears and Lois is on the brink over here, and I can't help but think that they'll find out that this poison HAS no antidote or something. Then Clark's going to fall apart, die himself, it'll be very Romeo and Juliet, and at this point... I just don't think I could handle that! Oh god, even my comments are getting less and less lucid as this story goes on. You can't possibly sleep well at night knowing the effect you're having on nice, well-meaning, sweet innocent readers!!! Okay, glad I got that off my chest. Onto other things: This part was so unbelievable, I honestly do not know how to express my thoughts! Your writing (for the entire story) is fantastic, but in this part, I was in absolute awe- the emotions and fears of these two are so beautifully written out, so heartfelt and real and just perfect. Your writing pulls you in so that you're there with them, going through this with them, falling apart like them and feeling a million things with them! Clark's POV tore me up the most in this part, with his heavy, weighted emotions, and his thoughts and worries all over the place: She was still a fighter.
Wasn’t she?
If she couldn’t be, then he’d have to be one for her. Time was slipping away, trickling through their fingers like fine grains of sand, impossible to hold onto. This is a gorgeous image and just perfect for what is happening to her... and them.  There was so little time left, but so little to go on. Clark is so smart; he's hit on the head my main frustration with this whole situation! Every time I read, that is how I feel... me and Clark are on the same page! She was right. They weren’t going to be able to save her... I feel for him during these moments of giving up. He just can't... but this all does seem so hopeless. He waited, barely breathing, and then her fingertips grazed his eyebrow, circled his eye and finished up resting on his cheekbone. “You look so... different without your glasses.” This is my #1 favorite line in this part. (#2 is a little later ). I just love that she is slipping away, so weak, time is running out, they are trying to investigate and focus, are in the middle of so many things, and she says that, while touching his face. It's absolutely wonderfully written and so so so... beautiful  . I also love how he wants to use every precious moment they have together to share their feelings and reminisce and create memories, but how he knows he can't do that. He has to make a choice between memories and proaction basically. And he would forever regret (no matter what) if he chose the former. It's exactly the kind of choice this situation warrants; a choice you would never think you'd have to make, and it's awful and real, and his thoughts about it are so pure and sweet and sad. Heartbreaking. If he only had a few more hours to spend with Lois, then he needed good memories. If she did... die... he’d need those memories - but right now he had a choice.
Accept that he couldn’t save her, and just make the most of the few hours they had left, and live the rest of his life knowing that he’d given up on her - or do everything within his power, and beyond, to make her better, even if he lost her in the end anyway, and even if he had regrets later that he hadn’t used some of their remaining hours to... To tell her that he loved her. To show her that she was wrong: that she was cherished, and that he would miss her every single day for the rest of his life.
It wasn’t a choice. If there was even just a slim chance that he could find a way to save her... I love your writing as she's fading/passing out, here, the almost death, so to say. It's cluttered and confused, as it's Lois's POV, and it is so poignant, honest - it hits really hard. “Not y’r fault... ‘m going to die...”
Hands seized her shoulders, almost painfully. Shook her. Familiar voice. But sounding... different, somehow Moisture touched her cheek. Or did it? He's crying! This is painful. I love it, though! He’d aged twenty years in... how long? Ten minutes? Wow. Clark. He buried his face in her hair. And in that instant she realised that he was shaking. Wendy, please let the poison have an antidote!! Can't you see how much pain they're in?????? “You’ll have to get behind me.” The coldness in his voice even surprised him. #2 favorite line of section - totally gave me chills... Clark is breaking in two! I cannot take it! But I will... I have faith in you, Wendy You will fix this. I'll buy your cat a whole bunch of toys if you do! If that is what it takes!! Yes, it was time to stop wasting time. All she had to do was persuade Clark to give up on this pointless, endless search for something they weren’t going to find.
It was time to give up. To accept that she was dying. No, Lois! No! Stop that! Where's Mad Dog Lane? Lois, you're a fighter! Fight!!!!! There were times, too, when she felt strongly that he was itching to change clothes and rip the city apart in his superhero guise.
But he wouldn’t do that. He’d promised not to leave her, so Superman was stowed away for the day, apart from quick flights to do things for her.
He was still ignoring cries for help, too. He thought she hadn’t noticed, of course, but even in her falling-apart state she couldn’t not see the way he’d go perfectly still suddenly, his whole body tense, before shaking himself slightly and refocusing on what they were doing.
This was torture for Clark. So great that in her state she can see Clark's agony and torture. And she sees him working doubly hard now after her scary pass out - she can see that choice we saw him make. She can see it and I love that! I have sort of gone nuts on quoting here, I have to stop! But in my defense, this was my favorite part and I do have a little sliver of hope about this poison, now. Even though there are ten parts left. This is so amazing and I will eagerly check back for the next part (although I am sure you've gone away (as in won't be posting a new part) for a few days yet). ~NICOLE ps- I thought the "M" in your boards nick stood for meanie, because, you know, of your unintentional but totally mean and probably a little intentional cliffhangers
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Beat Reporter
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I'll buy your cat a whole bunch of toys if you do! If that is what it takes!! ...We could even buy toys for your Ficus, if that's what it takes!? ~Toc
TicAndToc :o)
------
"I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three."
-Elayne Boosler
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Columnist
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A little digression here - my comment about how I bought Puzzle a favourite toy didn't work. Obviously, Wendy is the cruel and evil writer that she appears to be on the boards. I forgive her for that though, because she is my friend and so darned talented it's not funny! Irene who still wants more....
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
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Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Jan 2005
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Another excellent part Wendy. The desperation and feelings of hopelessness are so powerful and tangible; you have a way of writing that draws the reader in to the story. And we actually have a ray of hope, a silver lining emerging through the clouds in this part. “Dr Sutton called the Planet. The latest lab tests have just come back. They’ve got a positive ID on the poison!” However, from what I have gathered from your other excellently written and angst filled stories is that that the silver lining comes with a touch of gray (that is a Grateful Dead song reference if anyone was wondering.) Please post the next part soon! -Em Who is hoping to avoid institutionalization and read the next 10 parts with sanity intact.
"But my experience is that as soon as people are old enough to know better, they don't know anything at all."
-Oscar Wilde, "Lady Windermere's Fan"
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