|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 451
Beat Reporter
|
OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 451 |
Hey! I hope you like Part 2... okay, I am off to celebrate my brother's 30th birthday!!  Have a good day, all  ~NICOLE
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,145 Likes: 3 |
Happy birthday to your brother! Birthdays with zeroes in them are momentous and should be celebrated.
Weddings are also momentous and should also be celebrated. But this wedding is not your usual joyous occasion. This is more like dropping a hand grenade into a bucket of gasoline. Something's going to blow, and everyone around will be hurt.
Lois doesn't really want to marry Lex. She wants to be safe, and she believes intellectually that she will be safe with him, but she definitely doesn't love him. And that prospect, which conflicts with her desire for a loving relationship with her husband, is ripping her apart.
She wants to keep Clark as a close friend, but she can't because Clark wants more. I like the way you're showing Lois's conflict, and I like the way you've woven Rachel into the narrative.
I wonder what Rachel's going to tell Clark that evening? Surely she's picked up on Lois's waffling and on Clark's pain! I can't believe she doesn't know how these two knuckleheads feel about each other. Or will she take advantage of Clark's pain and make a move on him? Might she be that opportunistic? (What an ending that would be!)
I doubt it, but I'm ready for anything. This is good stuff! I wish I'd thought of it!
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great part.  She wanted to reach up and hug him. To just hold him dear and tell him that she would become sane soon and they could begin to heal and make things between them right again. To tell him not to give up. But at the last possible moment, she touched her lips to his instead. Tears slipped down her cheeks at the touch, which was charged but innocent – the kiss embodied their mutual feelings of loss and desperation. And love. But it was quick. A mere few seconds after her lips brushed his, she pulled away, shocked that she had done that.
He stared into her eyes for a few moments more, conflicting emotions dancing across his expression. He placed two shaky hands on her arms, and pulled them off of him, not letting go immediately.
“Goodbye, Lois,” he said, his voice quivering.
He walked away and this time she didn’t force him to return by calling out to him or begging once more for something from him. 
Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992 |
Nicole This is so sad and emotional. Please post it soon. Tricia 
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,160
Kerth
|
|
Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,160 |
I love it! I love how Lois views Rachel as a potential rival for Clark and she is being selfish in thinking that Clark would always be hers. It proves that she needs to break it off with Luthor and fast!
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched they must be felt with the heart
Helen Keller
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644 |
Good stuff, but where's part 3???  PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363 |
This is great. I do hate the fact that Rachel is probably going to get hurt here but...Lois is being a hussy. Why can't Lois just admit that she's making a mistake? I know that Clark is hurting. PART 3! PLEASE! 
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 446
Beat Reporter
|
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 446 |
Wow!! This is profoundly powerful. I don’t think I breathed at all reading part 2.
I like this Ellen, too, and how Lois sees even in the depths of her misery that sometimes, despite their history and her own problems, Ellen can be there when she’s needed.
I just wish Clark had been the one to take Lois home. <sigh>
Both of them are hurting so badly… I hope they can find a way (preferably before the wedding) to work this out.
Trying to change her mind while the juggernaut of a Lex-arranged wedding rolls over her is going to be almost too hard for Lois.
So far your posting schedule has been great – Sept. 30, then Oct. 1… now it’s Oct. 2, so… post!!
(Please?)
~Toc
TicAndToc :o)
------
"I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three."
-Elayne Boosler
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
Wow what an emotionally charges chapter! Loved it! More soon. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 271
Hack from Nowheresville
|
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 271 |
I don't only like it, I love it!! Very emotional post. I hope Lois stops being a jerk and finally accept her true feelings for Clark. Frankly, I never thought Lois had it in her to be so cold and blind especially to Clark. Please post again soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 776
Features Writer
|
|
Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 776 |
At this point, Lois seems unwilling or unable to excise her emotional demons. Clark, if he wants her in his life, must be the mature one here. Perhaps Rachel, as a reflective third eye, will be best friend to both.
"I'm red-eyed, tired and drunk" Teri Hatcher
"Fun will now commence" 7of9
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454 |
Wonderful writing, Nicole! The pain both of them are experiencing is so evident in these two sections. Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 370
Beat Reporter
|
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 370 |
LOVE IT!!! You had me in tears with part. 
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 451
Beat Reporter
|
|
OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 451 |
Hi everyone!! Thank you so much for the feedback! Wendy, thanks for the edit; I can't believe I missed it! I've read this over so many times at this point, lol. I guess sometimes you know what something should say so you think it does say it! And don't worry about RL affecting your ability to always post FDK, it's QUITE understandable (and you posted anyway, which I greatly appreciate)! She wants to keep Clark as a close friend, but she can't because Clark wants more. I like the way you're showing Lois's conflict, and I like the way you've woven Rachel into the narrative. Thanks, Terry... I thought Rachel would be the perfect way to show Lois what she's missing... sometimes you need to be shown! Lois certainly does! Good stuff, but where's part 3?? In answer to Pam's question, I will put a thought out there: please don't kill me! You won't have to wait too long for it, BUT... as final parts tend to go, I am still messing around with it, and still adding a few things...(I thought I'd finish toiling with it in the past two days, but it was a matter of RL taking over) If I do get it up today, it won't be until late tonight. If I can't do that then tomorrow definitely, by early afternoon PST. :::::ducking:::::  Okay, thank you EVERYONE for your comments, again. Reading them gives me many emotions ranging from to . So all in all, each one thrills me. THANKS ~NICOLE
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,441 Likes: 1
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,441 Likes: 1 |
Adore this paragraph... He was also happy to have an old friend around, to reminisce with about better times. About being young and hopeful. Both Lois and Clark are right in their own way, and I think you brought that out perfectly.... Hope to see part 3 soon..
If she had to move heaven and Earth, perhaps come back to haunt Perry and explain the story after they'd killed her, she would do it.
Waking a Miracle by Aria
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 613
Columnist
|
|
Columnist
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 613 |
I just caught up with this story. It's amazing how much emotion can be put into a story this short. It's heart wrenching.  I was wondering how many drinks Lois has had so far. She seems very much in control and in her mind. But I'm probably really off base here considering I don't know what its like to be in the state she's in. Her thought processes and everything could be really normal for how much she's had, but it didn't seem like she was acting too drunk throughout their conversation. At this point, Lois seems unwilling or unable to excise her emotional demons. Clark, if he wants her in his life, must be the mature one here. Lois has finally seen Clark and what she did to him. It made her really think about what she wants from him. She just needed a push in the right direction so she could start thinking clearly. Maybe now Lois can start dealing with her emotions. But I don't think it's Clark's responsibility to make her do the right thing. Lois hurt him really badly. And he's already done a lot to get her to realize who Luthor is and that she doesn't really love him. It's her own fault for going with the decisions she's made. I hope this all ends happily without Rachel getting stuck in the crossfire. I think she's smart enough to know what's going on here. She likes Clark too much. She will want whats best for him...I hope. ~Kristen
Joey: If he doesn't like you, then this is all just a moo point.
Rachel: A moo point?
Joey: Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion, you know, it just doesn't matter. It's "moo."
Rachel: Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense?
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 776
Features Writer
|
|
Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 776 |
Whether one person can "make" another do the desired "right thing" is debatable,however push has come to shove.
"I'm red-eyed, tired and drunk" Teri Hatcher
"Fun will now commence" 7of9
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 172
Hack from Nowheresville
|
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 172 |
I'm loving this story.
Great job!!!!!!! MOREEEEEEEEEEEEEE Plz
|
|
|
|
