His horror, his feeling of being used had been indescribable. For all that he’d known the relationship was wrong, he’d clung to the fantasy that there was love involved. As long as he believed that, he could look himself in the mirror.
Learning that it had been cheap and tawdry; that was the thing that had made his soul go numb.
He looked up at Lois. “There wasn’t anything sexual about it in the beginning. I was fifteen and she was just a teacher who took an interest in me. I was on the fast track to college, and she helped me get my classes in early, and helped me with extra work.“ For a long moment he was silent, reflecting. “I’d just spent six years being bounced from foster home to foster home, and it felt good having someone spent time with me.”
“From what I hear, Rachel was spending plenty of time with you.”
Clark winced. “That wasn’t until later. The sexual side of things didn’t start until I was sixteen. Before that...it was good. It was a little like having a mother again...and growing up the way I did, that‘s no small thing. You tend to cling to anyone who accepts you.”
“So conveniently, you had an Oedipal complex.”
“It wasn’t like that!” Clark couldn’t help the note of irritation that crept into his voice. It was hard enough to talk about without facing hostility from the woman he’d hoped would support him. “People don’t touch you much in foster care. It’s understandable, considering how many kids have been abused. After six years without being touched...it’s the little things that matter. A hand on the shoulder, a reassuring pat on the back. You come to crave it, and when you don’t get it, something inside you starts to die.”
“And when it turned into more than that?” Lois’s tone wasn’t as hostile.
“It wasn’t what I wanted, really. I knew it was wrong, but I didn’t know what else to do. She’d been the only person who treated me decently since my parents died. I felt like I owed her. Whatever she wanted, it was better than being alone again.”
“What about Rachel?” Lois asked quietly. “What happened there?”
“Lilah pushed me into dating. She said it would keep people from suspecting. I started dating several different girls casually, but none of them stuck around except Rachel. I guess they must have sensed that something was off with me.”
“Rachel didn’t?”
Clark coughed and reached for the cup of water on the roller table by the bed. His hands shook slightly.
“Rachel was in her rebellious stage. I think she was dating me as much to make her father angry as to be with me.” Clark sighed. “Or at least that’s what I thought at the time. By the time I found out different, it was too late.”
He sipped his water, then replaced the cup on the table beside the bed.
“So you had an affair with a married woman and humiliated the girl who really did like you, and you ended up as a suspect in a murder investigation.”
“That’s pretty much it,” Clark said.
Lois didn’t say anything, and Clark found himself staring at the blanket covering him. It was institutional white, a color he’d hated since the long days leading up to his parent’s dead.
The silence was palpable. It stretched out for almost a minute before Clark spoke again.
“When we first met, we talked about doing the right thing, and how doing the wrong thing hurts you as much as it does anyone else....”
He didn’t get a chance to finish his statement; he was distracted by the sound of the door opening.
“I might dispute that.” Rachel Harris’s voice was caustic. Clark noticed her standing at the door, and he sighed.
He winced. “Rachel....” Had she been listening at the door? What had she heard?
“I’m here on official business.“ Rachel glanced at the bandages around Clark’s torso. “I hate to say I told you so, but…”
“He didn’t deserve to get attacked,” Lois said, her voice tinged with irritation. “Whatever you people think around here...”
“This really isn’t any of your business, Ms. Lane.” Rachel’s voice was curt. “I need to take a witness statement. Why don’t you step outside.”
Lois glanced in his direction, and Clark nodded. He owed Rachel more than he’d ever be able to repay. A few minutes alone wasn’t much to ask.
She stepped out, and the interrogation began.
*****************************************
Lois sat in the hallway, tense. She believed Clark when he said he didn’t kill the woman. Knowing that he’d had the affair, that was harder.
Infidelity had destroyed her parents’ marriage. It had caused more fights and arguments than Lois could care to remember, and it had made her childhood the hell it was. Given that, there was no way that she could approve of what Clark had done.
He’d been sixteen and seventeen during the affair. He should have known better.
Of course, he said things had started when he was fifteen; Lois had done a story on a fifteen year old girl who’d had a sexual relationship with a teacher. She’d been enormously satisfied when the teacher went to prison. He’d victimized the girl, even if she hadn’t realized it at the time.
Why this felt different, Lois wasn’t sure. Perhaps she was having trouble seeing the self assured, attractive man she’d first met in the position of being a victim. Maybe it was because he was a male. Society treated males differently; they were expected to welcome sex.
She’d seen “Summer of 42’” just like everyone else.
Still...it nagged her. This felt wrong. It was more than she wanted to think about. All she wanted to do was get out of this town and get back to Metropolis, where things were much more black and white.
Who’d ever think of a small town as a center of moral ambiguity?
She glanced down the hall, and noticed a balding, heavyset man walking down the hall. He was sweating and he looked anxious.
“Is this Clark Kent’s room?” he asked.
Lois frowned. “Why do you want to know?”
The man scowled. “I’m his brother. I’ve got a right to see him.”
“He’s in with Sheriff Harris.” Lois frowned. “I didn’t know that Clark had any brothers.”
“I was his foster brother, back in the day.”
Without asking, the man sat down heavily beside her. “You’re the good looking babe he’s been hanging around with, right?”
Although Lois resented being referred to as a babe, she nodded curtly. She could smell alcohol on his breath.
“Does he ever talk about the old gang?”
Lois shook her head. “I really haven’t known him all that long.”
“I didn’t think so. He always thought he was better than the rest of us, at least until everything exploded in his face.”
“So you were around for that?” Lois asked.
“Front row seat. You never saw so many people talking about it.”
“I’m surprised it didn’t make the national news,” Lois said. “They really love stories with illicit sex and murder.”
“Oh, it was all covered up. People up top didn’t want anybody to know what the coach’s wife was doing. They couldn’t hide that she’d been with Clark, so they made it out like he was the only one.”
Lois frowned. “the only one what?’
“The only boy she did it with. Clark was really a little on the old side for her. She mostly liked them a couple of years younger.” The man snickered. “It was an open secret with the boys. You could always tell the ones that she’d dumped. They all ended up in jail, on drugs or dead.”
“I hardly think that locker room talk is going to be accepted as proof of anything.” Lois said. “Unless you’ve got proof...”
The other man coughed. “I knew some guys....lived with a few of them. They weren’t the same afterward. Say...you don’t happen to have a light do you?”
“You probably don’t want to do that around all these oxygen bottles,” Lois said. “Besides...haven’t you heard that smoking will kill you?”
Carl grimaced. “I should have given these things up a long time ago. Jess got me hooked on them.”
“Jess?” Lois asked.
Carl paled slightly. “Just another one of the guys. He’s been dead for years.” He glanced toward the hospital room door. “Do you think the sheriff is going to be much longer? I’ve got to get to work at the plant in a few minutes.”
“I’ll tell him that you came by,” Lois said. She smiled at him, an expression that she knew didn’t reach her eyes.
Carl stiffened. “Listen sister, right now I’m the best friend Clark’s got in these parts. I told him last night; people are talking. The coach and his wife were popular, and people have long memories. It doesn‘t take a rocket scientist to figure out that that‘s a bad mix.”
“You seem awfully well informed for just a guy.” Lois watched the man carefully. If he’d known enough to warn Clark, then he might be part of it.
Carl reddened. “We were brothers for two years- the only kind of brothers any of us had. He dumped all of us like a hot potato as soon as he could get out of town. He’s lucky that any of us are willing to give him the time of day. I don’t have to get involved. Hell, I’d be smart not to.”
“If you know something about a crime, it makes you an accessory-”
“I’ve got to live here. I don’t get to just pack up and leave when everything gets tough.“ He stood up and scowled down at her. “Tell Clark to let sleeping dogs lie.”
With that he walked quickly down the hall without looking back. Lois frowned after him pensively.
With every word that anyone said about Clark Kent, she learned that his life was even more complex than she’d thought. His life was full of secrets.
Lois hated secrets; it was part of the reason she’d become a journalist. Logic suggested that she should avoid Clark Kent like the Plague. He’d been a suspect in a double homicide, he’d cheated on a girl who wanted to marry him, and he’d slept with a married woman.
By all rights, Lois should be calling Perry right now and demand that Clark be reassigned. She knew Perry well enough to know that he’d argue, but he’d do it. If she didn’t feel safe with the person she was working with, she wouldn’t be able to do her job.
Yet, somehow, she didn’t feel unsafe. Although she wasn’t the best judge of character in matters of the heart, Lois had a gut feeling that the Clark Kent she knew wasn’t the person who’d lived in Smallville ten years ago.
This Clark had made mistakes- major ones. But everything Lois had seen convinced her that he’d done everything he could to change himself into a different person, to redeem himself. He’d done what many people never even bothered to try to do.
He’d tried to become a better man.
That had to be worth something. At least now the man didn’t have any secrets left to reveal.
*************************
Clark was pale as the nurse wheeled him out into the sunlight. The nurse had mentioned that Clark would likely be in pain for several days and had given him the doctors prescription for pain medications.
Lois suspected that the paleness had more to do with his conversation with Rachel Harris than it did with pain. He’d been quiet since speaking to her, with a defeated air about him.
She noticed him stiffening, and she looked up. Simon Hunt was walking quickly across the parking lot. There was something familiar about his walk, which was precise and with a rigid posture. If she didn’t know better, she’d have thought he was in the military.
Hunt stepped between Lois and Clark, putting his hand on the car door as the nurse was preparing to open it.
“It was you.” He said. “After all these years. I should have known.”
“What are you talking about?” Clark asked irritably. He winced as he made to rise from the wheelchair.
Hunt pulled something from the pocket of his trench coat. Hunt was turned away from Lois, and she couldn’t see what it was.
“Where did you get that?” Clark asked in a strangled voice.
“It’s amazing what family will do when times get a little desperate.” Hunt grinned. “It worked for me the first time. I’ll bet you can make it work again.”
“That belonged to my parents,” Clark struggled to rise to his feet, then he froze. “It worked for you?”
“I know what you are, Mr. Kent. When I’m done, so will the rest of the world.” Hunt grinned. “How long do you think it will be before the government takes care of things in the name of national security.”
Lois pushed forward. “I don’t know what you are talking about, Mr. Hunt. But Clark’s had a rough night and needs to get some rest.”
It wasn’t a weapon that Hunt had in his hand. Although he slipped it in a pocket quickly, Lois thought she caught a glimpse of something metallic and round.
“Good luck on your way back to Metropolis. I don’t imagine that Mr. Kent will be having many restful nights.” Hunt grinned again, and there was something malicious in his expression.
“We aren’t going anywhere,” Lois said. “There’s still work to do.”
“Haven’t you heard?” Hunt asked smugly. “The military pulled out this morning. So did the EPA.”
Lois grimaced. Perry wouldn’t be pleased that they’d missed the scoop. Being assaulted wouldn’t be that much of an excuse, considering how many times she’d been through it and still gotten the story.
“Then what are you still doing here?” Lois asked. “Shouldn’t you be at the bottom of a river somewhere looking for something to throw at people?”
“Oh, my story hasn’t changed,” Hunt said, looking directly at Clark. “Just the source of my investigation.”
Clark looked as though he might pass out again, so Lois helped him quickly into the car.
*******************
