Single white Kryptonian male, 29 seeks native counterpart for companionship or more. If you're an intelligent, ambitious professional female, I'll sweep you off your feet and take you for long moonlit flights above the clouds. Agoraphobics need not apply. Non-smoker preferred.
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"Am I asking too much?"

Clark Kent ignored the voices in the next room. It was something he'd have to get used to now that he was moving into the big city. It was still overwhelming sometimes, the sheer sound of the living, breathing city.

He smiled to himself. Clark was glad that he'd ignored the impulse to lead with "Mating Habits of the Knob Tailed Gecko." He'd put his more exciting stories on the top of the list, and along with his other references, he'd gotten the job. Once he filled out the paperwork required by accounting, he'd be hired.

"There has to be one man in the city of Metropolis who isn't a wimp, a creep, or a loser!"

This caught Clark's attention. Curious, he looked around, then lowered his glasses. Looking through the wall was simple, though what he saw on the other side made him gasp slightly in surprise.

"You grow up thinking there's a perfect someone out there for you, and you look for him. That's when you learn the ugly truth. The men who are intelligent, funny and handsome are dishonest married creeps. The honest and trustworthy guys are dull as dishwater, and all of them are threatened by an intelligent, competent woman."

Two women stood on the other side of the wall, one approximately his age, the other much younger. It was all Clark could do to keep from gaping. The older woman was stunning, and he was surprised to feel himself responding to her on a visceral level.

Clark felt as though he'd been struck between the eyes. He'd known beautiful women before and even dated a few, but none of them had affected him on a physical level before. It had been easy to remain aloof; it had driven the women crazy. Until this moment Clark had thought that he couldn't be affected by a woman; he was different enough from other men that it wouldn't have surprised him that he was different in this as well.

He had yearned desperately to be fully human, to feel the hot surges of desires he heard his classmates talking about. He hadn't had anyone to talk about his feelings with since his parents had died; he'd been lonelier than he knew.

"They aren't all like that, Lois!" The younger woman bore a distinct familial resemblance to her older companion. "There are good guys out there!"

"Maybe...but they get snapped up like blind little baby turtles headed out to sea. The good ones are married, and that leaves ninety percent of women out in the cold."

"Stuck with losers, wimps and creeps?" The younger woman's voice was skeptical. "If you really believe that, why bother placing a personals ad in the paper?"

"To get you off my back! I'm going to convince you once and for all that there are no good men left in Metropolis!" Lois shook her head. "I'm surprised you wanted to do it yourself. You date all the time!"

"Well, I haven't exactly been the best at choosing my dates. This sounded like something a little different."

"I still think it's a little tacky. A personals ad? How's that going to help me find the one person who will make my life complete?" Lois hesitated, then hurriedly continued, "Not that you actually NEED a man to make your life complete. I'm always telling the women in my NOW chapter…"

"It'll be fun, Lois. You haven't met anyone at work, and it's not like you have much of a life outside of work, so…"

"I have a life outside of work!"

Lois's protest sounded a little forced to Clark and his lips quirked in amusement.

"You'll do the posting for me, right? I wouldn't want anyone around here to get wind…I hear enough gossip in the bullpen."

"We could have gone to another paper."

"Any man who reads the other rags in Metropolis instead of the Planet is certainly not my idea of a dream date."

"Maybe he just needs to be educated."

"Haven't you learned yet, Lucy? If you go into a relationship expecting to change a person, you're bound to be disappointed. That's why all the guys you date end up being thugs and losers."

Lucy scowled, and then she spoke again. "I'll tell you what. I'll let you pick the guy from anyone who responds to my ad if you'll make me a promise."

"It depends on what it is…"

"You'll go on a date, and not once will you talk about your job or where you work."

Lois protested. "What a person does for a living tells a lot about them. How are you ever going to evaluate a person if you don't know where they spend a third of their day…or more."

"Think of it as a challenge."

Lois grumbled under her breath.

Someone bumped Clark from behind, and he looked around. The line behind him was growing longer; he only had time for one more peek through the wall. He quickly memorized the ad the two women were working on, and the section number.

"Are you done yet, buddy?"

Clark shook his head, irritated. The man who had spoken looked like a reject from the teamsters union.

"I'll be done in a second." He looked back through the wall and the women were gone.

Clark sighed and finished filling out his paperwork. He resigned himself to waiting in line for a while.

As he waited, he found himself wondering about the effect the woman had on him. He'd always liked women, in a friendly way, but none of them had ever made him feel what this woman had at first sight. He'd assumed that whatever had endowed him with abilities far beyond those of ordinary men had also cursed him with an inability to be attracted to anyone. He'd been resigned to a lonely life; he wasn't able to confide in anyone, and without the ability to love, he was destined to be ultimately unhappy.

At least that's what he had come to believe. While he had never been struck by cupid's arrow, the whole idea of love fascinated him. He'd read the Kama Sutra, and the love writings of a dozen different nations, all in their original language.

He'd even explored the possibilities involved in sex, though he’d always been disappointed. He hadn't done it often; while he might not need to worry about pregnancy or disease, he'd always been concerned about the emotional well being of his partners. He’d come to believe that he was incapable of love; leading a woman to hope that more was possible was deeply wrong.

He'd wondered if it would have been easier had his parents survived. They'd always seemed to know the answers, and Clark had had many questions since their deaths. If he'd only been a little faster, everything might have been very different. He certainly wouldn't have lived the life he had; on the other hand, he might not have been so driven to succeed.

It would have been so much easier if he'd had someone with whom he could entrust his secret. He'd been utterly without guidance growing up, and it had been terrifying at times. There'd been moments he'd feared being institutionalized for odd behaviors, and only quick thinking and the determination to live a normal life had managed to keep him safe.

He forced himself to focus on the task at hand. He'd asked himself a million times how things might have been different, and it had never done him an ounce of good. As his third foster father had told him, you have to be practical.

As he collected his materials, his thoughts strayed back to the woman again. Her ad would go out in the afternoon edition. It seemed odd that such a beautiful woman would need to place an ad, but her sister's comments had seemed to explain part of it. She was obviously a professional, both by dress and manner of speaking. Her sister seemed to implicate that she was a workaholic, and Clark had heard that it was harder to meet people in the big city. People weren't as trusting, or as open to speaking to strangers.

Luckily, he'd managed to accumulate enough of a nest egg to stay at the Lexor hotel; if he hadn't found a job so quickly, he might have been forced to stay at the Apollo, which was a dump. The Lexor was nice enough to impress without creating a false impression of wealth.

He wasn't quite sure when he decided that he'd try and call the woman. Something about her had caught his attention, and he found himself thinking about her more and more often. As the hours passed, he became increasingly certain that it would be the right thing to do.

Clark had been alone for such a long time; he'd have to be careful about placing too many expectations on the meeting. It was possible that she wouldn't even call him back. Nevertheless, it would be worth it, if only for the excitement he felt low in his stomach. It had been years since he'd felt anything strongly; his parents' deaths and subsequent events had beaten much of the color out of his life.

It was worth any risk to feel alive again.

The afternoon edition of the Daily Planet came out, and Clark found himself flipping rapidly through the paper to find the personals ads. He felt elated when he found the ad he was looking for. He had to chuckle at the ad this Lois had written. Her list of qualifications for an ideal dream date was quite extensive; anyone who applied would be sure to fail in at least one of them.

Can you Keep Up?

Single White Female, slender, brown eyed brunette, seeks financially secure honest, well-educated, athletic Single Professional Male for romantic dinners, walks in the park, movies and trips to the theater. Tall, good-looking, non-smoker a bonus. Must be a man who isn't threatened by a strong woman. Hypochondriacs and narcissists need not apply. Access Code:12694

There would be many men who would relish the challenge. Clark was one of them, and he found his fingers dialing the number almost before he could think.

The recording was a blank, generic female voice. Clark felt a moment of panic as he realized that he didn't know what to say. Confidence was the key in these cases, and it took him only a moment to regain his composure, just in time for the recording to begin.

"My name is Clark Kent, and I'm calling in reply to your ad in the Daily Planet. I'm new in town, and I'm looking to make a few friends." For a moment, he was at a loss as to what to say next. Perhaps honesty would be the best tactic. "I haven't called one of these before, and I'm not really sure what to expect. Blind dates are so... risky. You have all these expectations, and they almost never pan out. All I can really promise is to be a pleasant dinner companion and possibly a good friend. Anything else would have to be left up to luck."

Clark glanced downward for a moment at the personals ad. "I don't smoke, I'm six feet tall and I haven't noticed my face cracking any mirrors lately. You'll have to be the judge of how well I really fit your qualifications. Give me a call. My number is 555-6232."

The beep of the recording ending made Clark wince, and he slowly hung up the phone. All he could hope was that she selected him out of all the other phone calls she would undoubtedly be receiving.

In the meantime, he had some apartment hunting to do. He couldn't live out of a hotel forever, even one as nice as the Lexor.

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"Hey baby, gimme a call. You need a man, I need a woman, it'll be a match made in heaven!" The recorded voice was oily and smug, secure in the idea that any woman desperate enough to need a personal’s listing would be easy pickings.

Lois shuddered, staring across the table at Lucy. "That sounded a lot like Ralph, from work."

"Maybe it wasn't him," Lucy said hopefully, looking down at the speakerphone. "That'd be a big coincidence."

"Ralph is exactly the sort of man who answers personal ads like this, which is precisely the reason I never wanted to do this in the first place!" Lois stared challengingly at her sister.

"You've purposefully found something wrong with the last fourteen calls."

"They were all losers, freaks or geeks!" Lois said. "I could tell just by hearing their voices!"

Lucy shook her head. "If I'd known you weren't going to take this seriously, I wouldn't have pushed you into it."

Pushing a button on the speakerphone, Lois shook her head. "There's only one more call. If this one's a loser too, I'm just going to give up on the whole idea."

Lois sat up straighter as the voice on the line began to speak. Absently, she noted the pleasant midwestern accent and the endearing sense of hesitancy in the voice. She'd have been able to dismiss him out of hand, but there was something about the voice that called to her.

"My name is Clark Kent, and I'm calling in reply to your ad in the Daily Planet....”

Lois felt a chill go down her spine as she realized that this call wasn’t remotely like the others. It was reasonable, confident enough to convince her the man on the other end of the line wasn’t a wimp, yet hesitant enough to keep from seeming arrogant.

Lucy grinned at her, even as the voice concluded, "I don't smoke, I'm six feet tall and I haven't noticed my face cracking any mirrors lately. You'll have to be the judge of how well I really fit your qualifications. Give me a call. My number is 555-6232."

The recording faded to silence, and Lois stared at her sister for a moment.

"If you don't go out with this one, I will." Lucy said quickly.

"He's probably fat and bald with four children," Lois said grumpily. She hadn't really thought she'd get a single reasonable message.

"Give him a call," Lucy said. "Set something up for tonight."

"Tonight?" Lois said, abruptly flustered. "Isn't that a little soon?"

"The longer you leave it, the more excuses you'll come up with for why you won't be able to go."

Lois could already think of several. She’d need to buy the perfect dress, she’d need time to do her hair and makeup and to pick the perfect spot for the date.

Perhaps Lucy was right. Overanalyzing the situation would be giving it more thought and worry than it was worth. Most likely, the man on the line wasn’t what he seemed, and Lois would be best off proving that as soon as possible so that she could go back to her regular life.

Lois sighed. "Fine. I'll call him."

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Lois Lane was more overwhelming than he'd expected. Clark sighed as he placed the receiver back in its cradle. He hadn't expected to get a response so quickly, but he was glad she'd given him a chance.

They hadn't talked long; apparently, Lois Lane wasn't much for small talk. She'd called, arranged to meet at a restaurant near the Daily Planet building, and warned him not to try anything funny, all without giving him a chance to get a word in edgewise.

Being with her was going to be a challenge. Clark found an unfamiliar sense of excitement. That he'd had an intense visceral reaction from the moment he'd first seen her had surprised him. He'd only been mildly attracted to women he'd met in the past. That he was already interested in her mind was an unexpected bonus. He'd have hated to be interested in a woman with nothing to offer mentally.

Glancing at the clock, Clark realized that he didn't have much time if he was to reach the restaurant by the time she'd specified. He suspected that she'd purposefully given him less than an hour in order to disconcert him. Already she was attempting to undermine the date.

With anyone else, her prediction would be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Fortunately, Clark Kent wasn't just anyone. He had abilities beyond those of normal men, and he suspected that he might need all of them to keep up with the mercurial woman he was about to meet.

Within fifteen minutes he chose an outfit, ironed it, took a shower, and gave himself a last sprits of cologne. Fifteen minutes after that, he reached the restaurant.

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