Okay, I watched this movie the other day...and I thought that I could so see Lois doing something that happened in that movie. SO if any of you have seen Undercover Blues then maybe you'll recognise the idea and some of the lines.
Anyways, I'm not a writer, and I'm shy, but I thought someone might find this fic amusing...
Oh! And none of the characters are mine, even though I changed the name of one, it still doesn't make him mine.
I'd love feedback, especially constructive stuff.
The Mugging
Lois stormed through the front door, carefully cradling a small baby, and dragging a rather heavily damaged pram behind her.
Clark, looking handsome and fresh in his bathrobe, wandered out of the bathroom. “How was your walk….Honey, what happen to the stroller?”
“Uh…” Lois looked guiltily at her husband, “I have to put the baby to bed.”
She was just wandering back up the hall, deliberately delaying the inevitable explanation of the wrecked stroller, when there was a knock at the door.
Clark x-rayed through the door as he grabbed for his glasses, “Lois, care to explain the presence two of Metropolis’ finest at our door?”
Lois peeked out and waited until they had just raised their hands to knock again before opening the door.
“Officers.”
“Mrs Kent?”
Lois pretended to think about that for a second and then said brightly, “That’s me!”
The man flicked out his badge and continued officiously. “Lieutenant Theodore Norris, Metropolis Police Department,” he gestured to the man standing beside him, “This is Detective Sargent Halsey. May we come in?”
“Oh! Sure thing, ‘Ted.’” Lois smiled, showing all her teeth.
“Thank you.” They came in and took a seat on the couch Clark gestured to.
Clark cleared his throat as he and Lois seated themselves on the couch opposite. “Would you gentlemen like a cup of coffee? It’s very late to be making house calls…” His look asked for an explanation for the late night visit.
“No thanks. We’re working undercover investigating a series of muggings in the area. There was an attempted mugging about half a block away, two men, with knives.”
“Really?” Lois leaned forward in apparent interest.
“The victim got away.”
She leaned back in apparent relief. “Oh good.”
“You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that?”
Lois looked surprised. “Me? Why?
“Mrs Kent, you match the description of the intended victim, a woman with a baby stroller.”
“Uhuh…” Lois appeared vaguely interested in this.
“And we got us a bag lady that says she saw the victim enter this building.” Halsey added.
“Uhuh…”
“And one of your neighbours said that lady would be you.” Norris continued the attack.
Lois looked thoughtful. “Well, that certainly narrows it down, doesn’t it?” she said brightly, looking innocently at the two officers.
“Mrs Kent, were you involved in an attempted mugging this evening?”
“No, ‘Ted’, I don’t think so.”
The lieutenant cleared his throat, “Ah, ma’am, would you mind not calling me ‘Ted’?”
“Sure thing, ‘Ted’.” She smiled sweetly at him.
Norris sighed and turned to Clark, “Mr Kent is there anything you’d like to say about all this.”
Clark looked considering at Lois who smiled lovingly at him, he returned the look and both of them, having apparently reached an agreement on the matter, turned to look innocently at the two men.
Clark smiled, put his arm around Lois’ shoulders, and said through his teeth, “Not at this precise time.”
“Ahem,” Hasley cleared his throat and leant forward to speak in a whisper, “Mrs Kent, if you know something, but you’re afraid to tell us, be assured that we can offer you full protection.”
Lois glanced over at her husband, Superman, and tried to stifle a laugh before turning back to Hasley. “Well, I’d really LOVE to help, but I’m afraid I really don’t know anything.” She stood, “Now if there’s nothing ELSE you need to waste my time on…”
Norris and Hasley stood, conceding defeat. Norris handed her a card, “Ma’am, if you feel the need to tell me anything, please give me a call.”
Lois took the card, smiled brightly, and showed them to the door, closing it before they were even properly outside. With a relieved sigh she leant against the door.
Clark picked up a cushion off the couch.
Lois ducked.
The cushion hit her anyway.
“Lois!” Clark made an effort to control himself, “Let me see if I understand this correctly, you took our baby into a KNIFE FIGHT!”
“Hey, it was a fair fight, two of them, two of us.”
“LOIS!”
“Look, these guys were pathetic really, you shoulda seen them, and I was having a bad day and they were JUST what I needed…what are you laughing at?”
Earlier
A man in black leans over a fat drunk tourist slumped in the gutter and growls, “My name is Muerte! My name is DEATH!”
He and his short accomplice disappeared while the tourist quivered with fear.
A few hours later, a young woman dressed in a business suit is walking past the same alley, briskly pushing a baby stroller in front of her….
Two men slink into view, flicking out knives, “Lady, throw me your purse and you won’t get hurt.”
Lois stopped, and fearlessly measured the situation, stalling for time, “Relax guys; the baby won’t hurt you…”
It was too much of a risk. Her baby might get hurt. This was just a ‘great’ end to a terrible day. She started pulling the purse off her shoulder when Muerte advanced menacingly. “Hey…this is a real baby; I don’t want any trouble…”
She calmly threw him the purse and waited impatiently while they went through it.
“Are we finished, can I go?” she asked snappily.
The two muggers looked up in surprise.
“Look, we had a deal. You commit a felony, I go.”
Muerte prepared for his finishing speech. “My name, is Muerte – ”
Lois interrupted condescendingly, “Well I’m pleased to meet you Morty, my name is Lois.” She started pushing the stroller, to continue on her way.
Muerte drew himself up to his full height and glowered at the fiery lady in front of him. This was an insult that must be answered!
“Kyle! Cut her!”
Lois turned; her eyes alight with the joy of battle as Muerte's accomplice advanced, waving his knife.
*Swish* she dodged the swipe, caught the hand extended with the knife, pulled the man off balance, and elbowed him in the head. Kyle crumpled to the ground in a heap.
Muerte crouched theatrically, his knife held ready in his right hand.
Lois gazed at him in amusement, her hands clasped serenely in front of her. “This is a really bad idea Morty.”
With a growl, he rushed forwards only to be met with a swift kick to groin, followed by a kick to the head which sent him flying.
The baby cried. Lois turned and picked him up.
Kyle opened his eyes and wondered whether it was a good idea to get up or not.
Muerte, muttering angrily, picked himself off the ground and threw himself at Lois. Lois picked up the stroller by one handle and swung it around, it crashed into the mugger sending him to the ground, unconscious.
Kyle picked up his head. Lois picked up the remains of her stroller and glared at him. Kyle decided it was time to play dead…and a bag lady watched on in awe as Lois strode up the footpath, dragging the battered remains of her stroller behind her.
The End.
