Through her tears, Lois watched Dan shift from foot to foot, his hands shoved into the back pockets of his jeans. She indicated to him with one hand that he should sit, and he took a seat on the sofa opposite her.
"I'm sorry, Dan…" she began, only to be interrupted by him.
"I know," he said softly. "Despite what everyone thinks about "Mad Dog Lane", you really do have a heart. You really do care about people."
Seeing the look of total shock on her face, Dan chuckled and continued, "Yeah, I've heard all about "Mad Dog". At first I thought they had you confused with someone else. Then later I wasn't so sure!" Dan stood and walked to the desk to grab a handful of tissues for Lois.
As she wiped her eyes, Lois thought about her answer to Dan's question -- that perfectly logical question he had asked her days before.
She exhaled a long, shuddering breath as she began. "I think my heart knew all along what I wanted. And probably my head did too. But reconciling the facts that I had with the baggage I've carried around for so long has taken a while. Then you came along, and I dragged you into the equation. I really am sorry that I pulled you into this, Dan," Lois sniffled.
"Don't apologize, Lois. I let myself get dragged in. Actually, in case you didn't notice, I threw myself at you, " he joked. "Seriously, you were right there at a point in my life when I was still reeling from losing my partner. I told you that I'd already lost someone special to Sean McCarthy and I meant it when I said I didn't want to see you die that way too."
"True confessions time, huh?" Lois laughed softly.
"Exactly. And while I'm confessing, I'll tell you now that you're the most incredible woman I've ever met. And were it not for the look I just saw in your eyes a few minutes ago, I'd fight like crazy to keep myself dragged into this relationship with you," Dan declared earnestly. Looking down at the toe of his shoe, Dan continued, "But I know that I'd just be kidding myself if I thought I had any chance of taking you away from Clark."
Hesitating a moment, Dan looked at Lois and asked, "You really love him, don't you?"
"I love him so much -- more than I've allowed myself to admit. But now I just have to make him see that. You know, he believes that I'm in love with you."
"Really?" Dan's chest puffed out a little. However, seeing the look on Lois's face that said 'Don't go there buddy', he backed off. "Well, I guess I'd better get going. I have to finish my reports on the Knox arrest, and I'm scheduled on an early flight back to D.C. tomorrow."
He rose and in three strides he was across the room. Lois followed and they stopped at the doorway. Taking her hands in his, Dan brought them to his lips and kissed them tenderly. "It's too bad we didn't meet a couple years ago. I think we could have made a great team: Scardino and Lane."
"Lane and Scardino," she corrected him gingerly.
"One more question before I walk out of your life?"
"Sure."
"Can I kiss you? Just to see what I missed -- what I'll be missing for the rest of my life -- what Clark will be enjoying for the rest of his?"
Lois paused, unsure of whether her still shaky emotions could handle such a request.
At her hesitation, Dan backed away. "Dumb question. Sorry."
As he twisted the doorknob, Lois reached out and put her hand on the side of his face, her fingers outlining the shape of his jaw. "No, it's not a dumb question at all. I think we'll always wonder if we don't."
Awkwardly, Dan took her in his arms, pulled her close, and touched his lips softly to hers. The initial kiss was delicate and brief. Then he tightened his embrace and parted his lips, his tongue seeking entrance to her mouth. Lois complied with the request and felt Dan's tongue touch hers and then make a quick sweep around her mouth.
As she stood in Dan's embrace, Lois's mind was racing. Funny -- his aftershave is more musky than Clark's.
The kiss ended as quickly as it began and the pair stood face-to-face, unsure what to say next.
Dan was first to break the silence. "Now we know."
Lois nodded and picked at the hem of her shirt in silence.
Dan opened the door and stepped into the hall. "If you and Clark are ever in D.C. and need a good guide, just call. I do a great tour of all the presidential monuments," he quipped.
"I'll remember that," Lois laughed. "Who could turn down the Lincoln Memorial Scardino style?"
Taking one long last look at Lois's face, Dan took a deep breath and squeezed her hand one last time. "Does Kent have any idea what a lucky man he is?"
"I think he has some real doubts right about now, but I hope to change that soon."
"Good girl," he chuckled. "Take care, Lois. I hope you find all the love and happiness you deserve. And I mean that honestly. Clark's a good guy."
"Thank you," Lois said graciously. "And yeah -- he is."
"Goodbye, Lois."
"Good bye, Scardino," Lois responded.
He shook his head and laughed. "Please, call me…"
"…Daniel," Lois finished.
Dan walked down the hall, turned the corner, and disappeared from Lois's life. She closed her front door, fastened all the bolts and chains and breathed a huge sigh of relief. She leaned against the door, weak with emotion. "Two down. Now comes the hard part."
* * * * *
Clark sat in his apartment, surrounded by boxes containing his belongings. His life. He half watched the program on the television in front of him and kept going over and over the events of the past few days. I love her so much, but she told me today that she just wants to be friends with Superman. And there's someone else who needs her. That means she's in love with Scardino, he thought torturously.
I can't go on being two people. The painful thoughts continued. He wanted to tell her about Superman. But if she was involved with Dan, it was better to leave. Clark couldn’t maintain the status quo and see her every day at the Planet. Knowing she was involved with someone else would drive him crazy.
He turned his attention back to the television set and listened as the announcer continued. "And so what are we to learn from the mating habits of insects, reptiles, and mammals," asked the television announcer. "What does it teach us about ourselves? That we're not the only creatures on the planet capable of caring, betrayal, sorrow, forgiveness, and faith. That the forces which drive us to the heights of passion and depths of despair, are indeed felt by all creatures, great and small."
“Tell me about it, buddy.”
At that moment, Clark's viewing was interrupted by a knock on the door. He moved away from the drone of the television, walked to the door and opened it to find Lois standing there.
"Hi," Lois said shyly.
"Hi."
Lois peered around Clark and noticed the boxes. "You planning a yard sale?" she asked. "Wait, wait. That's a form of distancing. My therapist -- I know, I have a therapist, can you believe it? -- she says I say things like that to distance, so we don't really have to deal with anything and it's very complicated and linked to a lot of boring childhood trauma and…can I come in?"
Clark opened the door wider and motioned her in. As she walked down the steps to the living room area, Lois continued, "I told Superman I just want to be friends -- that there's someone else. And Dan and I…"
"Look, Lois, if you came here to tell me that you and Dan are…" Clark began with a hint of anger in his voice.
"We're not going to see each other any more."
Looking more closely at the boxes surrounding her, Lois began to panic. "This isn't just vacation packing, is it? This is forever packing."
"I was thinking of moving, but…" he said, noticing the look on Lois's face and letting the reality of her statement about Dan sink in, "…now I'm not so sure."
"What, you were just going to slip out of town, not even tell me? Maybe send me a post card from…" Lois stopped in mid-sentence, wringing her hands as she paced. "Distancing. I'm distancing. Sorry. But this is…I mean leaving. I didn't expect this."
"Lois, we haven't been getting along with each other lately. And it's my fault and I think I should…."
"Yes, it's your fault -- and my fault," Lois interrupted. "We let ourselves get distracted and we work too much and we argue over stupid things -- all so we can hide from each other and I'm sick of it, Clark. Because the only reason we hide is, we're scared."
"Of what?" Clark asked.
"The fact that we're partners," she replied, moving closer to him. "Best friends -- and this."
Lois pulled Clark into a long, passionate kiss. Unsure for a moment, Clark returned the kiss hesitantly, but then gave himself to it, returning passion for passion.
When Lois broke from the kiss, she spoke softly, "If you want to run away from this, tell me now."
"I won't run, Lois. I'm ready for the next step, if you are," Clark promised.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Lois took Clark by the hand and walked to the sofa. As they sat side by side, she said, "Good, because we need to talk about something I said the other day. Or rather, something I wrote." Lois pulled the wrinkled note from her pocket.
Dread showed in his eyes. "Where did you get this?"
"Superman dropped it in the park when I was talking to him before the trial."
"Uhmm…he and I were talking," Clark explained, nervously, trying desperately to make up a story that Lois would believe. "I was really upset after you wrote that and Superman found me moping on the park bench and asked me what was wrong. So I told him about our lunch and showed him the note and I guess I forgot to get it back from him." Clark had launched into a babble that could rival Lois's.
"Nice try, Kent," Lois declared.
"Huh?'
"You heard me," she answered. “You can hear a pin drop halfway around the world.”
"Are you saying you don't believe me?" Clark asked incredulously.
Reasoning that the situation was rapidly spiraling out of control, Lois leaned forward to kiss Clark again. After a few passionate moments, she pulled back, took a deep breath and said the scary words.
"I know, Clark."
"You know what, Lois?" Clark asked apprehensively.
"I know that you're Superman. Or that Superman is you. Or that both of you are the same person. And most importantly, I know that I love you -- YOU -- Clark."
Taking the note from Clark's hands, she tore it into tiny pieces and dropped them on the floor. "I know I hurt you. I'm sorry. I wrote that because you were always disappearing -- you wouldn't talk to me. But now I understand why."
"But what about that little speech at the courthouse this afternoon? The 'I'll always be your friend' one?" Clark questioned.
"I had to let you know -- had to be absolutely sure -- that you understood that Clark is who I love and who I want -- and who I need. I don't love the man in tights, Clark. I love YOU. And that was the only way I knew to do it. It was the only way I could tell you and expect you to believe me."
Clark rose from the sofa and began pacing as he tunneled his fingers through his hair, pushing it back and giving himself his Superman look.
"How did you figure it out?" he asked calmly.
"It was the note for the most part," Lois responded. "But that was just the catalyst. When I really started thinking, it all fell into place: the disappearing, the crazy excuses, how I never saw the two of you at the same time. It all made sense.
"And how mad are you?" was his next question.
"Plenty." And at that word, Clark cringed visibly.
"Or I was mad," she proceeded. "But not at you. I think I understand why you kept the secret. I'm mad at myself for not seeing it sooner. I'm an investigative reporter for heaven's sake!" Lois was quickly working herself into a frenzy.
"And now that I know I'm also embarrassed at how I've treated you," she admitted. "I just hope you can forgive me, Clark."
"Forgive you?" he exclaimed. "There's nothing to forgive, Lois. I should have told you long ago -- when we first became involved romantically. I've rehearsed the speech over and over in my mind -- how I was going to tell you, where I was going to tell you, how I would answer your questions. I must have done it a hundred times in front of the mirror."
"Clark, we can both stand here and beat ourselves up over what we should have done, but the past is just that. I think there are more important things we need to do."
"Such as?" he asked.
"Well, for one, I'd like for us to have our first date all over again. But this time there will be a different ending. I promise not to slam the door in your face. Oh, God” she groaned, “I still can’t believe I did that.”
"It’s forgotten, Lois. And I think the first date thing can be arranged.” He pulled her close and dropped a gentle kiss onto her hair. "How about tomorrow night? I'll wear the charcoal suit and…"
Lois snuggled comfortably into his arms and put her lips next to his. "…and I'll be dressed in deep, dark burgundy."
