Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: In a Better Place 14--The Bakery!!!!

Count me in, I totally thought it would be Madge too and I think that Kathy (M)'s suggestion is very good.

Doesn't ease the tension right away and you get the 'oof' when we realize that it's someone else.

~Liz

I was hoping it would be Madge. I expected he meant Madge. Then Madge and Hank decided to skip going to the Elders and just cut directly to the portal. "Curse you," I thought forcefully at Madge. "If you'd decided to follow the rules and check in, all your problems would have been solved! Curse you, and curse the irony!"

At that point, it was clear to me that the manager in question would not be Madge. I'm still not clear on the baker/peacekeepers setup. I guess it should have been clear that the bakery is its own department, but I still had the nagging feeling that there was some crossover. The peacekeepers have a monthly rotation or something, and bakery managers are peacekeeper officers. Something like that. You've stated otherwise in the story, but it just wasn't sticking. <shrug>

As for the non-recognition, I do like your reasoning. Especially the "you see what you expect to see" thing. Very apt. Even so, I personally would have preferred some slight reaction. A blink and a shake of the head or something. Like when you're walking down the street and you think you see someone you know -- an old friend from college, a celebrity, that one guy from that place back in wherever it was -- and you do a sort of double-take before realize that the person in question is supposed to be a thousand miles away and that the person in front of you is just a lookalike (maybe a distant cousin, or, in this case, maybe a professional impersonator) so you should really stop staring and making wierd faces and just get on with life.

That's what I'd have liked. It might be hard to convey without going into the bakery worker's POV, though. More importantly, you need to write things as you see them. So, take it under consideration, but if you want to keep it the way it is, I won't object.

Paul

You know, Paul, I think it might be a context thing -- the people in the museum blink when they see Lois because they are surrounded day in and day out by Lois impersonators and images of the real thing. They are trained to look for people who really look like her. But people in the bakery, even if they work under the supervision of the Peacekeepers, might not recognize Lois and Clark anymore than you or I would recognize George Washington if his modern-day clone walked into WalMart. We see him on our money every day, but would we really notice if someone with a physical resemblence came to us with a complaint about something? Now if those workers *are* Peacekeepers themselves and surround themselves by all things L&C, then yes, I would think they'd notice t he resemblence. But I can't recall from earlier parts of the story whether that's the case or not.

Kathy (who loves not only reading this story, but also all the discussions that it spawns! )

Thank you for coming back and helping me puzzle this part out.

I had to laugh at this: Ah, KathyB, my soul sister. If you could see me now. Dishes piled high in the sink. Kids eating straight out of the cereal boxes. But this. *This* is really important. And it will drive me crazy until I get it right.

As for getting it right:

That's perfect. Thank you, KathyM! And to Liz, too, for pointing out some of the tension is good. And the 'oof' moment is worth keeping. I was ready to toss it out, since it was in there entirely by accident.

And Paul:

I'll give that some really serious thought. Because I see exactly what you're saying. And given how twitchy Neville is, an extra blink or two couldn't hurt. Charity, too, could hesitate a bit? Or does that blow the whole 'don't really see what's under your nose' thing?

Before I talk myself into a complete circle,

I loved this for a couple of reasons. One, I had just had this conversation with Labrat, only I used Abraham Lincoln, instead of GW. And I even had him in the stovepipe hat reciting the Gettysburg address. Also, it was a bus stop, as opposed to Walmart. Though, I like Walmart better.

And it's context, pure and simple. In the museum Lois stands out because you can see her next to Lois and next to the other impersonators.

However, I get what Paul is saying, since those in the bakery do know what their function is. They are the cover for the operation going on behind them. So, for them, the idea of Lois and Clark being searched for is fairly routine. Keeping up with them and Tempus is what the Peacekeepers do. But the idea they just might walk in through the front door isn't something they've thought of.

Anyway... I'm rambling now. And I'll think on all of this, see how it shakes out.

Thank you for the help! It's wonderful.

CC