Lois & Clark Forums Forums General Discussion Off Topic Weigh in: Romantic partners vs. best friends

This is just my opinion, but I absolutely believe that your significant other should be your best friend. My fiance (I'm getting married two months from today) is certainly my best friend. We have faced (both individually and together) a lot of obstacles (deaths in the family, unemployment, depression, etc.) over the years we have been together, and we both needed each other during those times to help the other one through. If I didn't have him, I can't even imagine how I would have coped.

That isn't to say that you shouldn't have other best friends also, though. I have a few really good friends, but my best girl friend is also one of the most important people in my life. We've also helped each other through difficult times, and there are some things that I just feel I can only talk to her about. As much as I love my fiance, sometimes I know that I just need that other friend. After all, I can't always complain about my fiance to him My relationship with my girl friend is important to me, just in a different way.

I realize that my other friendships can fade over time due to many reasons. But my relationship with my fiance should never fade. Change, yes. Diminish? No. He will always be my number one. He's the one I come home to every day. He's the one who sees me laugh or cry, he hears my frustrations, he shares my joy, and he feels my pain. He sees me at six o'clock in the morning with bed-hair, no make-up, and morning breath, and still loves me anyway. He is without a doubt my best friend. I couldn't even imagine marrying someone that wasn't my best friend. If you're not friends, what's the point? Passion will fade, but love should always grow. After all the years that you go through together, if you don't have friendship, what is there?

My husband is definitely my best friend. We started off as friends and it quickly grew. I know I can tell him almost anything, and at the end of the day, he's the one I'm most comfortable with. I can't really say I have a best girl friend anymore, as I no longer talk to the one from high school who was my maid of honor (no real reason, just life on separate sides of the country). I have a lot of close girl friends, but they're all online. I don't have anyone nearby that I could just get together with. Yeah, I don't get out much. But it works for me.

I've always had the idea that you *can* have multiple best friends. Different people fit into your lives in different ways. Growing up, I always had at least two best friends who usually never interacted. So having your spouse as a best friend definitely does not mean you can't have a best girl friend, too.

Ok I have a little bit of wisdom on this subject. I found out long ago and know it for sure with age that we have many best friends throughout our lives.
My husband is one of my best friends, but so is my Mom, my 2 sister in laws, my brothers, my neice, my son and the 3 girlfriends I have remained friends with since 13 years of age. I had a best friend that at one point got upset with me because I used to say my best friends, Mary, Eileen and Patty. she thought that since I was what she thought was her only best friend, that I should refer to her and only her that way. I found a poem at one point on the net that explained that women have many people in their lives that touch them deeply and become "best friends". She wrote back that she finally understood the message. There does not have to be only one because there are many different lives to share, confide, laugh, cry and be yourself with. I have friends through my work, my teaching, my art that I share that aspect of myself with. I have my family who I have lived through tragedy and glory with. I have a husband and lover who I share the everyday stuff of life with and I have friends I grew up with and still grow up with. I have a unique relationship with all of them. My Mom is top of the list and yet my little 3 year old I love even more if that is possible. My husband and I are together 24 yrs all together but my family has been there with me my whole life. My 3 girlfriends are still my best friends and each has shared a different relationship with me. One is a serious emotional deeply spiritual soul traveler who goes through very similar Aha moments and spiritual growth with me. One is a light and humorous sort who has laughed with me until I have cried. The other is more like my sister and I see her all the time and she also watches my son and helps me in ways that I could never repay. I have cousins that I love so deeply and Aunts and Uncles and guy friends and girlfriends and children in my life. I am surrounded by love and consider myself so fortunate to have all these wonderful people on this journey with me. I have people who have passed on that I loved just as deeply and who have affected my life in ways I can never explain in this short bit. I miss them and love them still, my Dad, my cousins who died young. they all have enriched my life. There are times I am closer to some then others, there are times when those I am close to move on, wither through life cicumstances or death. But, I love them all. How can you choose? How do you say my husband is my best friend and not say it about your mom, your dad, your sister, your closest girlfriends. They are all important to me and I would not trade one moment away with any of them. There is no need to pick between two people you love, nor four or 8 or 100. Just enjoy each relationship for what it is in your life and realize that you are blessed to have them. Laura