Lois & Clark Fanfic Message Boards
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 794
Features Writer
OP Offline
Features Writer
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 794
O.k. bare with me cause this is rough still working on it. I change the title around too. peep


Hyperbian Ave. earlier Jan....


"Wow" said Lois as she rolled off her husband. "Lois you have such beautiful talent I have ever seen. Was that you or was you holding that until after work" said Clark. "Well sweetie I learn... from the best, as she kisses him.

The next morning they got up to go to work. (Shocking), they made it there on time. As they go the elevator. They couldn't keep their hands to their selves. Clark grab her and started to kiss her passionly. Neither one of them realize they had an audience.

"You go boy,” said one co-worker. Then they stop kissing. Their lips still shaped after kissing.

"O.k. now show is over. Go back to your desks" said Perry.

"Welcome and on time. What you kids couldn't save that until you got home." Is there something wrong you two here and on time."

"No Perry. We just decided to get up on time that all" said Lois. "O.k. good now get to work,” said Perry.

They went to their seats and started to peep over at each other.


Meanwhile outside of Metropolis in Gotham....

"Morning Bruce" said Dianna. " Morning sweetheart" said Bruce.

Bruce went over and grabbed her and laid her on the bed kissing her tenderly and with more passion. She grab his hair as he moved on down to place kisses all over her.

"Say you know that’s.... oh yeah my spot" said Dianna. " Yeah I know that's why I did that. Mmmmm..... that feel so good don't it baby" said Bruce. Bruce went back up to kiss her until.... a knock on the door.

"Yessss" hissed Bruce.
"Sir your needed at the station, you both are" said Alfred.

"Damm! He has bad timing you know. I how to talk to him about that."

" I wonder what's going on at the station,” said Dianna.


Bruce and Dianna left at different times in fear that the other guys will know about them.
Back at the office, Clark was staring at his wife and wondering if about something. Lois was finishing the rest of her story.

"Lois... how about going out to eat tonight. I know this wonderful Italian place in Italy. You know how I love pasta.

" O.k. said Lois. And I know why you want pasta, with a sneaky grin on her face.
Clark wonders off a bit. "What wrong." The Justice League wants me I have to go,” said Clark.

"Wait a minute Clark I want to go. Never been there before. I mean you told me so much about it. I just wanted see it for myself" said Lois.

"O.k. you can come but you got to do something for me ok. "What? Don't touch nothing ok" said Clark.

They told Perry they had to check out a lead on a story and they will be right back later on.

"Lois I'll make it up to you later on, all right? "Cool" said Lois.

They left the building and took off behind and alleyway and flew off. When they got their Clark check to see if she was all right and then kiss her on the cheeks. Lois wanted more and kiss him back passionly.

"Whoa now save it for later right now I business to take care of. "Come Superman and Lois Lane too" said the Green Lantern.


this is part one of the story been working on it for a while be kind blush smile


I will and always be a big fan of Lois and Clark forever and forever.
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Offline
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362
I've moved this out of Original Fiction. The OF folder is for fiction which uses characters original to the author. Fanfic is the folder where Lois and Clark fanfic should be posted.

One thing I would say about your story, LS, is that you'll find you'll attract more readers if you make sure that it is sorted out into paragraphs when you post.

From previous experience, we've found that the one thing most likely to put readers off reading a story is if it's all one block of text, with no paragraphs.

LabRat smile



Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.


The Musketeers
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454
Pulitzer
Offline
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454
LabRat's right, lovesuper - I tried to read this, but simply can't because of the paragraphing. I have two suggestions here. First, leave a blank line between each paragraph - just like I've done in this post. Second, your paragraphs also need to be split up into shorter ones - the rule is that you start a new paragraph any time the speaker changes, and I noticed that you have lots of speaker changes within each para.

And while you're editing, you might want to check for spelling/typos - I did spot a few, and they can be distracting - missing "...", incomplete sentences and so on as well as typos. wink

Good luck!


Wendy smile


Just a fly-by! *waves*
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 794
Features Writer
OP Offline
Features Writer
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 794
o.k. thank you guys. i'll try to clean it up i'm just trying to make it good that all thank for your help. is there anyone want to help me write this i have more nut i'm stuck. smile1


I will and always be a big fan of Lois and Clark forever and forever.
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,763
Merriwether
Offline
Merriwether
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,763
A BR is someone that can help you with your stories. Try looking in the Fanfic Related section. web page

What program do you write your fic in? Word? Word Perfect? Most of them have a grammer and spell check that can help start you off.

Try these resources:
www.dictionary.com
http://www.lcficmbs.com/faqs.html
http://www.lcficmbs.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=5;t=000761
http://webster.commnet.edu/grammar/

I'm sure you know that writing a story is not only what the story is about, but how it is presented. I'm sure you'll get there. For me, the plot is the hardest part! And well, I'm not great with sentence structure. (I've never had enough guts to post fics too.) Way to go w/ that. I hope you have had fun so far here.
party

I'm looking forward to more and good luck with your writing adventures!!!!!!!


I've converted to lurk-ism... hopefully only temporary.
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 794
Features Writer
OP Offline
Features Writer
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 794
thank you super roo smile1
i'll try again


I will and always be a big fan of Lois and Clark forever and forever.
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 794
Features Writer
OP Offline
Features Writer
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 794
o.k. i change my story a little bit but i'm working on it. I more thank you mecry blush
ok. so how do i get this over to word to get it edited? confused


I will and always be a big fan of Lois and Clark forever and forever.
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Offline
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362
Drag your mouse over the text to highlight it. Right-click your mouse anywhere on the text and then click on 'copy'. Open a new WORD document. Right-click again and click on 'paste'.

LabRat smile



Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.


The Musketeers
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 794
Features Writer
OP Offline
Features Writer
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 794
o.k. i did it is that o.k. now peep smile
thanks lab rat


I will and always be a big fan of Lois and Clark forever and forever.

Moderated by  Kaylle, SuperBek 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5