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#19460 01/24/05 09:09 PM
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I know some people aren't liking the way this fic is going but please continue reading. wink

#19461 01/25/05 08:03 AM
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Hi,

Great part. razz I don't like it her, especially when she force her entry into Clark’s apartment.


Quote
They took their shoes off and stood at the edge of the water. “Look, honey, there’s some stepping stones. We can walk over to them and cross the stream.” Lois noticed that Kieran was acting a little strange. “Sweetheart, what is it? You can tell me?”

“I don’t want to go home. Why can’t we all live together? Don’t you love Daddy? That’s what Sammy at school says.”
hyper

More ASAP, please.

MAF wave


Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
#19462 01/25/05 11:40 AM
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Pulitzer
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Well I liked this chapter. I think it at least is starting to go in the right direction. But I still think Clark needs to deal with killing people and seeing so many people die in war. He has post tramatic stress disorder and even though he is superman and heals quickly, he should at least talk to someone about it. Laura


Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”

Caroline's "Stardust"
#19463 01/25/05 01:20 PM
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hi

I liked this chapter.

More soon please

Karla

#19464 01/25/05 04:43 PM
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T
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Ooh, bad stuff ahead for our favorite couple. I can see this actually happening, and their experience is similar to that of other couples I've known who've been through immense stress. I worked with a man many years ago who'd just come back from Vietnam, and he told me (a complete stranger) how he couldn't sleep in the same bed as his wife, because every little sound - including any noise or movement she made - would cause him to leap out of bed, ready to fight. He'd already clocked her a couple of times. Clark has similar symptoms. I hope he doesn't accidentally kill a mugger. Wouldn't that just put a damper on things?

Clark needs a therapist to talk through his pain. Lois needs to commit to him so he'll have that emotional anchor to hold him, and she needs to tell the kids part of what's going on. With Lex and Paul and Natasha and Lois and Clark, this is a story that could easily stretch for more than six parts.

The only thing I have a problem with is the grammar. Some of the sentence structure is awkward, the dialogue at times should be presented in shorter pieces, and nobody livin' in Kansas would EVER use the word "whilst" if they wuz facin' a lynchin' party. The basic story, however, is sound, and the pacing is pretty good. Paul made his movie awfully quick, though. Maybe he filmed his scenes before he started teaching, and the movie wasn't released for a while, because it's usually ten to eighteen months between shooting the scenes and the premiere for a major release, even for one with few special effects.

All in all, I like it. I plan to read all the installments, and I hope Lex gets his in the end. Keep it coming!


Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.

- Stephen King, from On Writing
#19465 01/25/05 09:23 PM
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Quote
nobody livin' in Kansas would EVER use the word "whilst" if they wuz facin' a lynchin' party.
I'm English. What more can I say! huh


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