I agree with Tank, Terry: very good, suspenseful story, well-told - but I think you're far from finished. There's no way that Lois will recover easily from this. Apart from any leftover physical injuries or trauma, she won't recover mentally or emotionally for some time.
She doesn't know that Clark is Superman. How easily is she going to trust Superman in the forseeable future? If she's in danger, will she actually call for him? If he turns up to warn her about something, will she listen? How's she going to react to Perry? Lucy? She may know intellectually that none of them was actually there and that she was only seeing hallucinations, but that's a far cry from recognising it instinctively. At the very least, this needs a sequel.
Carmen was an interesting character - and, yes, that was some twist at the end! Sadly predictable, in a way, once I thought about it; the refugee from Colombia (not Columbia, btw) turning out to be a ruthless gangster after all.
Wendy
I didn't have enough time to comment on the other parts, but I've read them all and really liked them. 
Hopefully, you'll decide to write a sequel.