from last time....
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“I really love her. I trust her. The way she keeps herself so guarded, and only lets a special few have the honor of her friendship, I know she would never betray those people. It’s one of the reasons I trust her so much. I have faith in her…”
Clark suddenly looked up…
Jor-El smiled…
That was it…
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HAVE A LITTLE FAITH IN ME
PART 8
“Martha!” Jonathan’s voice broke the few minutes of silence that had ensued after the emotional conversation before.
Martha looked, as if on instinct, at Clark, thinking obviously that Jonathan had seen some change in him. But there was no change. She looked at Jonathan.
Lois furrowed her eyebrows together, not sure what was going on.
“Martha, isn’t it true that when Clark dies, his body disappears?” Jonathan asked.
“Well, that is what we…” Martha trailed off and looked back at Clark, hope in her eyes.
“You know this for sure?” Lois asked, trying to keep her emotions in check.
“Well, no, of course not. Without it actually happening, we’ll never know for sure,” Martha said. “But it’s something we learned about him from… oh, Jonathan, if it’s true, then Clark isn’t dead!”
“I certainly hope so!” Jonathan said, allowing himself to smile.
“He’s just… not exactly alive,” Martha said.
“Somewhere between life and death,” Jonathan said.
“So, with the sunlight, that will definitely pull him toward life, right?” Lois asked, daring to hope just now.
“Maybe. I am not sure what state he is in. I mean, he hasn’t been breathing for such a long time. If he’s teetering on the brink of death, maybe nothing can bring him back,” Martha said, matter-of-factly. Lois’s face dropped at this. “But on the other hand,” Martha added, “if he’s teetering on the brink of life, this could be what pulls him over.”
Lois smiled at Martha appreciatively.
“Excuse me,” Jonathan said, and exited the hospital room again. The sudden realization and commotion in the room had caused it to get ever hotter and Lois suspected he wanted to escape the heat for a moment.
“I’ll just be out there for a moment, Lois,” Martha said soon after, and followed her husband to the hallway.
The door closed.
Alone…
Lois was now alone with Clark. There were a million things she wanted to say to him right now… to make him come back. She looked at him lying there. So still. So perfect. She wanted to tell him of her love, of her realizations, of her plans to spend forever with him. A million things she wanted to say…
She bent down slowly and kissed his lips, her fingers playing with the little curl of hair that always swept his forehead, the simple action saying it all.
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Clark suddenly felt very close to Lois, his faith in her renewed. He realized he was now clutching his sweatshirt with one hand, in a fist. He relaxed his hold and looked at Jor-El.
“I trust her completely. I have faith in her. I want to see Lois,” Clark said, now knowing, without a shadow of a doubt that he would not see Lois in Luthor’s arms. He had faith that she loved him and didn’t say her “I do’s” to the man who killed him. Or tried to kill him… he was feeling very renewed just now. Not at all dead.
Jor-El scooted so he was beside Clark now, instead of across from him, and he looked ahead with Clark, as a picture formed.
Lois… she was kissing… him, he realized. He was on that same table from before, when he saw himself. And she was kissing him. It was a heart-wrenchingly sweet, short kiss that seemed to translate volumes. She loved him. He started remembering everything his mother had told him, about love being blind and having faith that everything would turn out alright in he end. He realized that Lois did love him, even if she only thought she loved Superman right now. Her love was still misguided and blind, but she loved HIM all the same. Either way, the part of him that was still on Earth was receiving her love and it felt good. From the sight in front of him, he realized that she must have learned of Superman’s demise and put her bad thoughts about him aside to be there for him.
“I don’t need to see anymore,” Clark said.
When the picture disappeared, he looked at Jor-El.
“You were no longer afraid she’d be with your killer,” Jor-El said as more of a statement than a question.
“I just realized that she couldn’t be. I… it was like I had momentarily forgotten who Lois Lane was. Maybe she forgot who she was for a little bit there. But then I remembered. And I trust her. I know she wouldn’t hurt me and she couldn’t marry him. I just… felt it,” he finished.
Jor-El smiled. “And?”
“And…”
Clark wasn’t sure he understood. But he felt like the weight of the world was lifted off his shoulders anyway. Then, realization dawned on him.
“You wanted me to realize that Lois loves me and that I trust her. I needed to have faith in her that she wouldn’t turn her back on… love. And…” he started realizing other aspects of the disappeared picture… “she is trying to save me,” he said. “That contraption that’s around me on that table. I’m not being studied… I’m being saved.”
Clark looked at Jor-El. “You wanted me to remember Lois Lane. The real Lois Lane. The woman who I love. You wanted me to remember why I love her because you knew that all the reasons I love her are the reasons why I should have had faith that she wouldn’t marry him and would try to find a way to save me.”
“Yes, true. And…” Jor-El said, definitely seeming to enjoy this.
“And in the end of my life…” Clark tried hard to remember those last moments. He shut his eyes…
He remembered darkness. He felt trapped in the cage and in the darkness. It scared him. That’s why he couldn’t keep his eyes closed before. He was remembering the end of his life. But now, with Jor-El by his side and his faith in his life renewed, he wasn’t afraid.
He remembered that he couldn’t open his eyes at the end. He could hear his own breathing in his ears. It was slow and loud. Painful. His body had lost all feeling and had just succumbed to the pain.
Then…
He heard the music… organ music… the wedding was starting.
He couldn’t open his eyes or find the strength he desperately wished he had to break down the walls holding him and save her from marrying him. He just lay there. Trying.
He had remembered, in that moment, working with Lois, laughing with her. Hanging out with her. Kissing in the honeymoon suite, on the airplane. Hugging. When a story went well. When she needed it. When he needed it.
He mustered up the energy to lift his head and open his eyes, his attempt at escaping and saving her. The attempt cost him everything. He looked around and didn’t see the cage. Just her.
With one final thought of his parents and then Lois Lane, he died…
Clark’s eyes opened now and he looked at Jor-El, a solemn expression on his face. “I felt loved,” he admitted.
And he wasn’t lying…
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Lois stepped into the hallway, seeing Jonathan and Martha occupying two chairs. She sat down next to them.
“Oh, honey, you’re sweating, being in there all that time and with a sweatshirt on! You should take the sweatshirt off next time you go in,” Martha said when she saw Lois approach.
“Not a chance,” Lois said, smiling. “I just… I feel close to him with this on. I think I can stand the heat. I just needed a minute out here,” Lois explained.
Jonathan was resting his elbows on his knees, staring ahead. Martha had one hand on his back, reassuringly, and took Lois’s hand with her free one.
“Would you mind if I asked you something?” Lois asked after a moment.
“Not at all,” Martha said.
“How many encounters has he had with Kryptonite? You mentioned in there that he had been exposed to it before,” Lois said softly. Both Kents looked at each other, obviously remembering some horrible time when Clark was in pain. “If you don’t want to talk about this now, I completely un—“
“It’s okay,” Martha said soothingly. “You actually were there the only time he encountered it.”
“In Smallville…” Lois said, trailing off, remembering how sick Clark had looked on their first night in town. That whole experience made so much more sense now. He obviously let her write the story because he would have had to lie if he wrote it, breaking the Planet code-of-ethics… the journalist code-of-ethics, really.
“Yes… Wayne Irig had found a mystical, green rock in his fields and gave it to Jonathan for safe-keeping….”
“I should have assumed it was from Krypton and destroyed it,” Jonathan said, shaking his head.
“Oh, Jonathan, you couldn’t have known it would hurt Clark,” Martha said, rubbing his back again. “Anyway, he wanted Clark to come out to the barn and take a look and when he opened the box—“
“—Clark was instantly in intense pain and passed clear out right away,” Jonathan finished, a shiver running through him. He had obviously cooled off and was now, most likely, in a cold sweat, in addition to remembering a horrible experience.
Martha continued. “Clark lost all his powers and was so weak. He was better once he was away from it, but we all thought he might never get his powers back.”
“I remember how pale he looked. Worse than allergies could make a person,” Lois said, with a mocking laugh. “Another clue missed by investigative reporter, Lois Lane!”
“I’d hardly call Clark looking sick a clue that he was, in fact, the indestructible, invulnerable superhero who never got sick!” Jonathan said, as if Lois was nuts.
“Well, even so, the case was about a rock that could kill Superman. Trask wanted to kill Superman. And he almost killed Clark…” Lois said, closing her eyes for a moment, remembering how fear gripped her heart and choked her the moment she saw Trask aim at Clark. She had realized, as soon as the panic subsided and she realized that he couldn’t hurt Clark, how much he meant to her. She realized how devastated she would be if Trask had killed him. She wasn’t sure she would have gotten over it. She had been, for the first time since she’d met Clark, honest with herself. For all the fun she made of him and all the cunning put-downs she shot his way, she knew that he was a remarkable man, a wonderful reporter, and the best partner and best friend she had never known she always wanted and couldn’t be without. She shook her head. “Why would Trask kill an innocent reporter when his mission was to kill Superman? Don’t tell me that I wasn’t blind and stupid, because I know I was!”
Martha shook her head, smiling slightly. “I read your article, Lois. I mean, it centered around my hometown, I framed that article! Smallville was famous for a day that day!” she joked, knowing how Lois had felt about small towns. “You looked at the situation from an objective point of view. I thought the way you saw things was fascinating. And much better news than the truth. Trask was a madman. You saw that. That was true. And you saw that he was so far gone that he was ready to hurt Superman’s friends if he couldn’t kill Superman himself. Also true!”
“You never saw the rock; you never heard the conversations between Clark and Trask… how would you know?” Jonathan asked.
Lois couldn’t let herself off the hook completely, but she knew that there was truth to everything they were saying. Lois smiled at them sweetly.
After a few quiet moments, Lois’s smile turned to a look of sheer horror at herself. “I am so sorry!” she said suddenly.
They looked at her curiously.
“For what?” Martha asked.
“From the second you both walked into Clark’s apartment, I have been sitting here, pathetically, going on and on about how bad I feel and you both have been lending sympathetic ears and giving great advice, making me feel better, just by being here, not letting me feel all these things alone, and you must feel horrible! I haven’t done one thing to help you feel better! I am just… I’m so sorry!” Lois said, feeling absolutely horrible for being so selfish and careless.
“Honey, when I was talking to you before about Clark growing up, it felt wonderful. To just remember and have someone special in Clark’s life to share it with. He loves you and trusts you so much and we do too, and it was a wonderful feeling. It helped me,” Martha said, and the way she was looking at her told Lois that she wasn’t lying.
“Lois, you just discovered something enormous. And then this happened. I mean, we’re devastated right now, don’t get us wrong, but it’s understandable that you are feeling, well, like your world has been turned upside down. We want to help you make sense of this. If Clark were awake and he knew that you knew, he would want to help you make sense of it,” Jonathan explained. “We are glad to help, if we can,” he added after a heartfelt pause. “Doing something we know he would want us to do, to help you come to grips with everything and answer all your questions, helps us more than you could ever know. It’s like we’re connecting with him. We know what he would want us to say to you and we say that, as best we can.”
“Well, you’ve both been wonderful,” Lois said genuinely. She suddenly realized that they may want to be alone for a little while. “Why don’t… I’m going to take a little walk. You might want to see him, alone?” Lois asked, trying to sound casual. They opened their mouths to say something. “I know, I know. You don’t consider me in the way or an intruder on what should be your vigil. But, I really do need to take a walk. And… I’m new to this. You three have such a special connection. Maybe if it’s the three of you in there for a little bit, that amazingly strong connection will be more apparent and will help him come back,” she said hopefully, believing her own words.
Before they could argue, she stood up and started walking away.
“Lois?” Jonathan called after her.
She turned around.
“Don’t go far… you have quite a connection with our boy yourself,” he said.
Lois smiled appreciatively and sweetly, and turned—a new mission propelling her in another direction.
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“So… do I deserve to go back?”
“Of course you deserve to go back,” Jor-El replied to Clark’s apparently stupid question. “You always did.”
“But you said…” Clark trailed off, confused.
“I was just buying time,” Jor-El admitted, sheepishly.
“This just gets better and better,” Clark muttered, noticing that his Kryptonian father really seemed to enjoy playing mind games with him. “Buying time?” he said louder, to Jor-El.
“Right,” Jor-El said.
“What about the trial for my life?” Clark asked, definitely not getting it.
“There was no trial.”
“You said there was!” Clark said, wondering if maybe he, himself, was going crazy.
“No I didn’t,” Jor-El said calmy. “You said ‘trial.’ I thought ‘that sounds good, that will keep you here, talking’. I went along with it,” he said, seemingly proud of his cleverness.
“You said I was sort of dead and sort of on trial for my life,” Clark argued.
“If you remember, really, I did not say that. Well the first part I did, because you really are almost dead. The second part, well, you mentioned a trial, and I went along with it.”
“Ah,” Clark said, amused, although very confused. “So why were you so persistent that I remember?”
“I can read your thoughts, Kal El. Not all of them, just the ones that were in the forefront of your mind. The ones that haunt you. You were sad, upset, hurt… and I wanted you to see that you didn’t need to be. I didn’t want to see you that way. Also, I needed to keep you safe and still attached to that life, while Lois found a way to save you.”
“You knew she was going to try to save me?” Clark asked, mystified in that moment.
“I had faith. But if I didn’t keep you in the spot you’re in now, and you wandered around up here, you would have gone too far to go back. And if you forgot about the life you led, the things that you loved about life, that kept you wanting to be alive, you would have broken your connection with that life,” Jor-El said, smiling.
“You saved me?” Clark whispered, almost to himself, feeling a tightening in his chest. He was moved beyond words.
“Well me and Lois. And you’re not out of the woods yet. When I send you out of here, you still have to fight your way back into your body. People do get lost. You have to follow your heart. That’s another reason I wanted you to remember what your heart truly feels.”
Clark was near tears now. He shook his head slightly, unbelieving of this whole thing.
“Your mother wished she could be here, but only one of us was allowed,” Jor-El continued. “We both thought I might be better for this mission. She would have just gotten all emotional and nothing would have gotten done,” he joked.
“I wish I could have met her. I mean, met you both. I am so happy I got to meet you, Father. And… thank you. Those two words sound so small, so insignificant, representing what you did for me. I can’t even begin…” Clark trailed off, at a loss for words.
“I know,” Jor-El said.
Clark looked down, feeling overcome with emotion. He looked up, suddenly, into his father’s eyes, realization dawning on him.
“I want to see Lara… my Kryptonian mother,” Clark said into the vast expanse before them. Jor El smiled, seemingly proud of his son’s cleverness. Before he could say anything, the screen started to produce an image.
A single tear dripped down Clark’s cheek as he looked into the face of his mother. “She’s… beautiful. She’s perfect,” Clark said, his voice sounding as if it wasn’t his, it was so wrecked with emotions. Lara was tilting her head to the side, her hair long and blonde around her shoulders. She was looking downward slightly. As if she knew he was looking at her, she looked up, straight ahead, almost right into his eyes. He could see that her eyes were smiling… and the color of the sky on a perfect spring day.
“I like to think so,” Jor-El said.
Clark stared at the screen… at Lara… for a few more moments, mesmerized by her beauty and the love he could feel emanating from her image. Love for her family. Love for him.
“I don’t need to…” Clark started, but the screen fell away like pixie dust before he could finish the sentence. In the midst of the dust, Clark could see a small piece of paper falling to the ground. Jor-El grabbed it before it fell into the smoky ground and handed it to Clark. It was a photograph of Lara… looking downward and happy. Perfect. A photo from the moment he had just seen before him.
“Thank you,” Clark whispered.
Jor-El smiled, seeming to be filled with emotions as well. He quickly realized himself, cleared his throat and said, “follow me, Kal El,” and started walking away.
Clark followed him, complete trust in the massive, powerful, loving man before him.
“Where are we going?” Clark asked, suddenly feeling like a little boy.
“You’re going home.”
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