|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 379
Beat Reporter
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 379 |
Perry: "EEK!"
Superman: "Officer, the mouse went that way! Don't worry, Mr. White, I'll keep you up here until the rodent gets caught."
"He's a man. I'm a woman. Do you want me to draw you a diagram?" -Lois Lane, I've Got a Crush on You.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,791
Merriwether
|
|
Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,791 |
I am the shotput champion, and I'll prove it! See New York over there?
*giggling over Little Bunny Foo Foo*
"You need me. You wouldn't be much of a hero without a villain. And you do love being the hero, don't you. The cheering children, the swooning women, you love it so much, it's made you my most reliable accomplice." -- Lex Luthor to Superman, Question Authority, Justice League Unlimited
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,160
Kerth
|
|
Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,160 |
Superman: Counting down 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...0...and lift off we have lift off!
Perry: Superman when you said you wanted to fly me to the moon I didn't think you meant it literally!
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched they must be felt with the heart
Helen Keller
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 2,977 Likes: 11
Pulitzer
|
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 2,977 Likes: 11 |
"Having juggled Mr. White and an office chair, I will now add a *third* object! Jimmy, can you hand me that lamp?"
~•~
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 137
Hack from Nowheresville
|
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 137 |
Superman: Isn't that painting on the wall interesting? I find it fascinating.
Perry: Um, Superman, there's a rather large missile headed directly my way...
Imagine.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,569
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,569 |
perry: clark, i wasn't talking about you!
superman: but i just - wait, what did you call me?
perry: i'm sorry, i was just in this alternate dimension. it was awful. i was this drunken tabloid reporter, and you had no morals, and your dad was a jerk, and your mom was hardly ever around, and everyone knew that clark kent had super powers, and he'd been involved with this gang and robbing banks and stuff, and there was kryptonite everywhere, and clark lost control of his powers and nearly dropped a tractor on me - or, well, the other me, and i couldn't seem to get to the bus stop, and then lana was kind of your soulmate, and i have no idea what happened to lois... great shades of elvis! it was the weirdest thing. after a while, i had to run into the forest just to keep my sanity! i've still got pine needles suck in my clothes.
superman: so, when you were saying those things about clark, you didn't mean... wait a minute. pine needles? in kansas? but... huh?
Paul
(it's 5am, i can't get to sleep, and this seemed like a good idea. <shrug>)
When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217
Kerth
|
|
Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217 |
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 6
Blogger
|
|
Blogger
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 6 |
Where is Mr. Wells when we need him?!!! My dear fellow, it is with great regret that I must confess that some situations are beyond even my vast ability to repair. The universe which the distraught Mr. White of Mr. Hatman's post had visited has not escaped my notice. However, I was deeply saddened to ascertain that, despite the apparent similarities, the Clark Kent of that universe is, in fact, not Clark Kent at all. It is true that a bizarre twist of fate granted the young man in question the same name, and even the same foster parents, as the Clark Kent and Superman that we all know and admire so well. But even a cursory examination of that unhappy dimension led me to the realisation that the Clark Kent of that world could, in fact, never aspire to the role of Superman. He is a troubled young man, to be sure, of uncertain origin. But he is not Kal-El of Krypton as we know it, and even my astonishing abilities cannot create substance where none exists. I am pleased that Mr. White will recover from the traumatic experience of his stay in that sad reality. Needless to say, I would be delighted to offer my incomparable assistance if any further therapy proves necessary. H.G. Wells
"Fools make researches and wise men exploit them." -- H.G. Wells, A Modern Utopia, ch. 2, sct. 5
"I love irony." -- Tempus, Tempus Fugitive
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217
Kerth
|
|
Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217 |
Thanks Mr. Wells!!!  Jose 
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,569
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,569 |
 it's good to see you back, mr. wells.  thanks for clearing things up! Paul
When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,597
Merriwether
|
|
Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,597 |
ROTFL, you guys! There were so many great captions this time. I was all ready to give it to Wanda for her "mouse" idea, which totally cracked me up, but then Paul came up with the Smallville reference ... so topical yet such a surprise! (And ROTFL at Mr. Wells. I like the other show, but you are sooooo right! LOL!) But when I saw this one, I laughed too hard not to make it the winner: "Having juggled Mr. White and an office chair, I will now add a *third* object! Jimmy, can you hand me that lamp?" You're up, Queen of Capes! Too funny!! Kathy
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 2,977 Likes: 11
Pulitzer
|
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 2,977 Likes: 11 |
And for my next act, I'll juggle Lex Luther and two bowling pins!  Okay, FoLCs, lets see what you do with this: ![[Linked Image]](http://www.kachor.de/christiane/lnc03/07019.jpg)
~•~
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,587
Merriwether
|
|
Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,587 |
Superman: Aww, is Lois a little bit scared? Does she need her dolly and her blankie?
Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.
- Under the Tuscan Sun
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454 |
Lois (worried): Superman, you know, you really should consider taking a vacation. Stress can make you do pretty crazy things... like thinking that a doll is a real baby, y'know? Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644 |
Lois, whispering: "Look, honey, I know you want to have a family, but no amount of pretending *or* superpowers will turn that doll into a child."
PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,791
Merriwether
|
|
Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,791 |
"Look, Lois, I know you're trying to work on your parenting skills. But no matter *who* the father is, babies don't fly!"
"You need me. You wouldn't be much of a hero without a villain. And you do love being the hero, don't you. The cheering children, the swooning women, you love it so much, it's made you my most reliable accomplice." -- Lex Luthor to Superman, Question Authority, Justice League Unlimited
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,569
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,569 |
look, lois! i just saved... chuckie?! okay, now what do i do? he's a serial killer and he's not even really alive. he can't go to jail, but i can't just let him loose, either. should i have even saved him in the first place? help me, lois! i'm so confused.
----
superman: can you believe it, lois? i just found this little guy in a dumpster. how could someone do that? what is wrong with our society?
lois: you do know that's a doll, right?
superman: a doll, lois? a doll? no, lois, this isn't just a doll. it's a 1975 madame alexander limited edition "baby brother michael" in near mint condition! what have we come to that someone is willing to just toss out a priceless gem like this?
----
superman: i went to the address you gave me, lois, but all i could find was this.
lois: i don't understand. what was that doing there? are you sure you went to the right address?
guy behind superman: uhm, excuse me... uh, superman? can i have that back, please? it's mine. see? we've even got the same hair and nose and...
----
When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 137
Hack from Nowheresville
|
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 137 |
Superman: Okay, I'll give you back the doll and blanket, but only if you promise to do Clark's laundry for a week.
~*~
Superman: Look, Lois! I found my blanket and baby doll from my childhood!
~*~
Lois: I don't care if the thing cries, spits up, chews down french fries or wets its pants. I don't want it.
~*~
Lois: I don't think a doll is an adequate way to prepare for parenthood.
~*~
Doll: Ma-ma.
Lois: GET IT AWAY FROM ME!
Superman: Calm down, it's just a doll.
Lois: I don't do kids - not even plastic ones.
Imagine.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,597
Merriwether
|
|
Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,597 |
Lois: "Oh, God, Clark! I can't believe I did this. I was just so distracted with the Queen and the Pope, I mixed up the kids!"
Superman: "Now, don't panic, Lois; look carefully. Was this one Baby Clark, Baby Lois, Baby Martha, Baby Jonathan, Baby Lana, Baby Jimmy, Baby Perry, Baby Lucy, Baby Sam or Baby Ellen?"
Kathy
|
|
|
|
|
Anonymous
Unregistered
|
|
Anonymous
Unregistered
|
Lois: 'little tornado' is growing on me, and after seeing this, don't ever think of calling me 'babe'! Carole 
|
|
|
|
