Hi FoLCs!
This is Kerth Quiz #3 - Best Comedy. (Due to a re-schedule, it’s now #3 and a day early
)
Instructions are blatantly copied/linked from last year’s Kerth Quizzes.
SPIFFY DISCLAIMER THINGY! All the stories featured in this quiz qualify for the Best Comedy, but this quiz is not a stamp of recommendation for nomination. There are other stories which qualify for this category, but this quiz only covers 10.
Recommendations for other eligible stories are *very* welcome and encouraged!
QUIZ RULES: Two points for getting the story and author from the quote; one point for getting it from the excerpt. Specify which is which, or you'll automatically get one point instead of two. Open hard drive and archive, *don't* forget to snip the excerpts in your replies, and don't forget the spoiler space when you post in the replies thread.
The DEADLINE for entries for this quiz is Thursday, January 26th 2012, by 11:59 p.m.
More elaborate quiz instructions can be found
here .
Please post your answers
here .
Good luck!
Michael
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Quote #1:
“And how about underwear?” Lois asked. “Does he ever ask you to wash his underwear?”
Quote #2:
“Oh, Goo this! Goo that! Didn’t you ever learn that it isn’t nice to compare one child against its sibling?
Quote #3:
“Everyone figures that you and Clark want to keep it to yourselves. Some of the women down in accounting said that…”
Quote #4:
“Mayson? I doubt it,” Clark said dismissingly. “What a minute! Mayson! I completely forgot!”
Quote #5:
Like himself, it needed the sun to regenerate, which he thought it would do if given the chance. So, Clark felt a kinship to the little plant.
Quote #6:
“They are demanding that Superman get flight training…” Clark said. “In a plane.”
Quote #7:
“Don’t worry about CJ and me, we’ll be fine. I’ll order takeout.”
Quote #8:
Then he got really rude and said that he'd be watching us, so I threatened to zap him with my heat vision and that was that."
Quote #9:
“Flinders?” Gazza looked confused. “You do know what the terms of the bet are … don’t you?”
Quote #10:
Clark appeared incredulous. "Lois Lane will come to me and apologize?"
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Excerpt #1:
“Yeah,” Lois agreed. “During one last year, I got pretty desperate myself. I finally boxed up my garbage, wrapped it up in birthday paper with a big red bow and left it in the back of my car — with the window rolled down. When I got back, it was gone.”
“But that didn’t solve the problem,” Clark objected. “It just made it somebody else’s.”
Excerpt #2:
“Fine. How about ‘Thaleia’?”
She just stares at me. “You have GOT to be kidding.”
“Hey, it’s a good name. It’s the name the ancient Greeks gave to the Muse of comedy.”
“Yeah, it was a great name — thousands of years ago. Do I look like I’m thousands of years old? And before you answer that, remember that if you aren’t nicer to me, you won’t get so much as an L&C-related riddle from me ever again.”
Excerpt #3:
Lois felt a flush of… something. Was Madge saying that Clark was involved with a woman? Madge was one of the biggest gossips in the building, so if there was anything to know, she would be the person with the information. But there was no way Clark could be seeing someone without Lois knowing. Madge had to be mistaken this time. Then Lois considered her own reaction to the news that Clark might be romantically involved with someone. That feeling… Why should it bother her that Clark might be in a relationship?
Excerpt #4:
“You stood me up,” Mayson said in a calm tone, but Clark could tell she wasn’t pleased. “That’s bad enough, but did you have to suggest we meet at the Metropolis Sewage Reclamation Facility?!”
“Well, you said to meet somewhere Lois wouldn’t go, and that was the only place I could think of!” Clark said. “And I definitely wasn’t expecting you to dress like that! You didn’t think we were on a date, did you?”
Excerpt #5:
That plant. That poor, defenseless, once green plant, dying with every splash of too-cold-for-Lois coffee. Clark shook his head. As cute as Lois was with her uncaring dumping of the office sludge into the pot, Clark hated to see anything suffer. Even an ordinary office plant.
Excerpt #6:
The Federal Government had sent agents quoting an old law; apparently it wasn’t illegal for Americans to have contact with aliens or NASA space artifacts, but the government could impose a quarantine on both the item or alien in question and the people who had been in contact with it. Clark hadn’t contacted them back yet, but he was worried that they might try to impose a quarantine on Lois, who was widely reputed as being the person most often in close personal contact with Superman.
Excerpt #7:
“Hello?” said CJ, pausing to listen to the caller. “My dad?”
Lois looked expectantly at her son as he spoke to the unknown caller.
“No, he can’t come to the phone right now.”
Lois smiled in relief at her son’s perfect reiteration of their earlier conversation and then immediately cringed when he spoke again.
“Call back in a few days.”
Excerpt #8:
Finally, the mayor held up two fingers.
Clark James held up one.
The mayor pointed out toward the horizon.
Clark James patted the ground.
The mayor pointed to his eyes.
Clark James gestured to his own eyes and pointed at the mayor.
Finally, the mayor stood up.
Excerpt #9:
Lois held back a gasp as Gazza placed the clippers right at her forehead and pushed them into her hair at the top of her head. Her dark locks fell like rain in front of her face and onto her lap. He worked quickly. Within minutes, he’d cleared the top of her head and was working his way around the sides and back. She was somewhat surprised by the amount of hair she saw piling up on the floor around the base of the chair.
Excerpt #10:
"Or, no, I know what it is. You're a sick man, Kent! What- you just automatically assume that if I'm angry I must be PMS-ing and therefore you should bring me chocolate to stop the threat? Well, guess what, Clark? Sometimes a girl's just mad because she needs to be! Because she wants to be! It's not all PMS! And you're going to need a hell of a lot more than chocolate to fix this up!"
