HEY! A quiz I can't fail spectacularly!
Thanks to Tricia for letting me snag her instructions
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Let's see how well I manage to do making a quiz because we all know how badly I stink at taking them
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Here we go!
Welcome to yet another fun quiz!
This quiz is for the BEST COMEDY category, for the stories that just make you laugh.
SPIFFY DISCLAIMER THINGY! All the stories featured in this quiz qualify for the Best Comedy Story, but this quiz is not a stamp of recommendation for nomination. There are other stories which qualify for this category, but I have limited myself to ten. That said, remember what I think is funny, you might think is merely groan inducing and vice versa. Recommendations for other eligible stories are *very* welcome and encouraged! Please email me using the link above or [once I clean out my inbox
] send me a PM if you have any recommendations!
QUIZ RULES: Two points for getting the story and
author from the quote; one point for getting it from the excerpt. Specify which is which, or you'll automatically get one point instead of two. Open hard drive and archive, *don't* forget to snip the excerpts in your replies, and don't forget the spoiler space when you post in the
answers thread.
The DEADLINE for entries for this quiz is Saturday, Jan. 30. Results will be posted on Sunday
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More elaborate quiz instructions can be found
here .
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Quote 1:"This is Susan Maise, soon to be Parson. I'm an operator at the White house switchboard... This is the White House calling... please hold for the President." There was a funny hum from the phone.
Quote 2:Lois looked up with a hurt puppy dog look and asked shyly, "You aren't going to let me duck out of this are you?"
Quote 3: Don't interrupt, because I don't have time. I need you to get to the restaurant pronto, but first I need to know how to treat Kryptonite poisoning.... No, I can't take him to the hospital.... Because he's not in the Suit, that's why. He's dressed as Clark.... Really? Sunlight? It's that simple? Yeah, okay. I'll get him stripped down and I'll meet you in the back alley. Okay. Bye. Huh? What do you mean how did I know? I've known for years.
Quote 4:Pulling away from Lois, Clark said anxiously, "You can finish the story by yourself, can't you? I gotta go." And with that, he was on his way.
Quote 5:"Put this on," Clark ordered as they hit the elevator, handing her her coat. "You better put on your scarf and mittens, too, because we're going to settle this Smallville style."
Quote 6:"Actually, it's a little awkward," Murphy responded. "We're asking for your cooperation because . . . we have a warrant for your arrest."
Quote 7:"Um...." Clark frantically cast his thoughts about for a logical explanation. "I---was---just giving her oxygen..."
Quote 8:The words rocketed out of my partner's mouth, and I momentarily squeezed my eyes shut at the impending situation that would somehow involve me without my consent. Whoever said Saturday
afternoons at the Daily Planet were dull clearly had never worked in the bull pen with Lois Lane.
Quote 9:"There's a different pace here than in Metropolis, which is always busy and noisy with people rushing around going somewhere. Here, it's nice and peaceful and quiet, except for the cows mooing in the morning and..."
Quote 10:"You're *wearing* a *bra*?" It's an actual bra! I can't believe this! And he's being so calm about this... The story I was working on has been long forgotten because I can only think of the reason why Jimmy is wearing a bra. This is so insane. This feels like a dream.
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Excerpt 1:"Is this the cafeteria?" asked a confused voice.
"Who's that," asked the President.
"Ah, this is second assistant executive undersecretary Waters," (which is the position roughly equivalent to White House dogcatcher since the more adjectives the lower the power) "I was trying to call the White House Cafeteria..."
Excerpt 2:"Superman!" Lucy yelled. "I can't believe it Sis, you actually married Superman! Way to go!"
Lois realized that while Lucy was animated, both of her parents had much more thoughtful looks on their faces. She watched as Sam turned to Ellen and said, "I told you so."
Excerpt 3:It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the second curse. The one she thought would be a blessing, only it backfired. You see, mom sent me to cooking school. That's good for my career. You can always get a job as a cook, especially in the city where most people are too busy to cook for themselves. But, the trouble is, it taught me taste. You know. When I was a kid, I'd eat anything. But now I know good from bad food, and I like the good stuff. But I can't afford it. Not on what I make.
That's where my sideline comes in. The best thing Mom taught me. The thing that makes up for the other two. I can keep a secret.
Excerpt 4:"How'd you get back here so fast, Clark?" she asked suspiciously.
Clark caught sight of the clock on the wall and realized just how quickly he had returned. He tried to cover. "I've been gone long enough to go to the post office." He fidgeted. "Umm... I, well, you know, couldn't let something so important be delivered to my apartment, and I..."
"Uh-huh," she demurely interrupted. "Sure you didn't fly?"
Excerpt 5:"Lois," he grinned to himself. "This oughta be fun." Clark tossed the envelope and message on his dining table as he headed to his room to get ready for work.
Half an hour later, Clark pulled his apartment door closed and jogged down the steps. He set out for a brisk walk to the Daily Planet, turning off Clinton Avenue when it hit him in the back.
He wheeled around to pinpoint his snowball sniper, but to his surprise, could spot no one out of the ordinary. He recognized nearly everyone who was out going about their business as someone who belonged in the neighborhood. Lois, for example, was certainly nowhere to be found. Clark narrowed his eyes as he wondered which of his neighbors she had recruited for her nefarious deeds, but no one on the street seemed to be paying him any mind. He had to give her one thing; she was good. For the second time that morning, Clark grinned and shook his head as he continued on his way to work.
Excerpt 6:"May I make a phone call first?" Clark asked. "Or am I limited to one phone call, like they say in the TV shows?" He was wondering how he was possibly going to find a lawyer, but, more importantly, how he was going to explain his absence to Perry. He had supposedly just left the office to get lunch at the deli on the corner.
"Well, you're not in custody yet, so you can call your lawyer or whoever from the pay phone in the lobby."
"But that costs money, doesn't it? I'm sorry, but I don't normally carry any change."
Excerpt 7:"Fairly well. Everyone was okay this time," he replied. "And Lucy---?"
"Promised not to explode. She'll be over tomorrow, and we can talk to her then." Lois dropped the book on the coffee table and reached for her husband. "Now---as for where we left off..."
Moments later, their activities were interrupted by a shrill voice. "Why are you kissing my daughter?!"
Excerpt 8:"Oh, really!" Lois scoffed. "I've escaped terrorists. What makes you think I won't jam my hand into your pockets to find that
phone?"
I can't believe I got myself into this. "Because...I'm...out of underwear," I confess with minor grit. "Today was supposed to be my laundry day until Myers called in sick."
Lois' determined face was completely erased with a shocked look of defeat. Her line of sight whipped back and forth--at my face, at Jimmy's ridiculous shirt, at my pockets...
"Ugh, Jimmy, what do those numbers look like?"
I grinned in victory. It seemed like my own late-breaking scoop would save the day.
Excerpt 9:"I'm thinking of having burgers for dinner tomorrow." Clark then looked down at himself. "I'm going to take a shower."
When Clark was out the door, Lois and Martha looked at each other and burst out laughing.
"You can both stop that right now!" Clark shouted from the top of the stairs, only causing Martha and Lois to laugh harder.
"Don't forget you've got dinner on the stove, honey!" Martha called upstairs to Clark when the laugher had subsided enough for her to talk.
Excerpt 10:"It tore already?" I say as I stand up. My recent shock has been
forgotten and has turned into curiosity. I go over to help him
with the strap.
"Yeah, and it was really expensive. But I got a good deal. It was on sale."
I finish tightening his bra strap on the left and I go to the one on the right. When I do that, I'm able to get a peek at the bra itself. It's really cute. The color is really pretty. I wonder if they have it in pink?
"I really like the color," I say absently while finishing the strap. "How's that?" I ask as I take a step back to let him examine the straps.
