This fic is an idea by Sarah Maksim (Meerkat).
One night (well, it was night over here...) she mentioned on IRC she had this idea but she didn't think it would be interesting enough to turn to a fic. And, when I said I'd like to read it, she told me I could write it!
So I did, and here's the result.

Thanks to Sarah for letting me use her idea and BRing for me.

I hope you like it.
AnnaBtG.

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Top 6 Ways a Superman Can Steal the Blankets

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Lois had been walking in the Russian tundra for hours, ever since she had escaped from the hut where these terrorists were keeping her. This story would certainly be Pulitzer material – that was, if she survived long enough to write it. At the moment, though, her future didn’t seem very bright. There was not a single house in sight and she was hungry, thirsty, tired and cold. Too cold for her liking.

She sleepily reached for the blanket, but her hand remained empty. Where was the blanket?

She opened her eyes and rolled around. Clark was tucked all too comfortably in the blanket. With a grimace, she tried to gently pull the blanket off him. However, his grip was too tight.

She tried again, more forcefully. He didn’t seem to notice.

She pulled once again. Clark let a sleepy murmur and rolled around, allowing Lois to pull the blanket near her and cover her cold body with it.

-----

What was that, a mosquito? Her back suddenly felt itchy. She put her hand underneath the blanket...

Wait. Where was the blanket?

She forced her eyes open. Clark had tucked-and-rolled in it again. Only now he wasn’t on the bed, but floating a foot away.

Even better. It wasn’t that difficult to pull it from him now.

She scratched her back and got tucked under the blanket.

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A sudden move close to her jerked her awake. What was *that*?

Beside her, Clark was lying on his back, not-so-peacefully asleep, without the blanket. Where the heck was the blanket?

She glanced around, then crawled on the bed until she spotted the blanket, now thrown on the floor. This was getting tiring, and night sleep was actually supposed to be about *resting*.

She secured the blanket around her and went back to sleep. *Again*.

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Clark’s eyes opened. He was feeling a little uncomfortable.

Where was the blanket? Since he was a little child, he was used to sleeping with a blanket. He couldn’t sleep without a blanket wrapped around him.

He turned around and saw Lois wrapped inside the blanket. She looked so cute... And since she was already asleep, he could take the blanket. She didn’t look like she needed it.

He smoothly pulled it from Lois and wrapped it around his shoulders. There. Much better.

Soon, he was asleep.

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Lois tossed and turned in her sleep, sighing audibly. Suddenly, she opened her eyes and breathed heavily.

She felt cold. Of course. Once more, Clark had taken the blanket.

She grimaced in annoyance. It was a *large* blanket. He didn’t need it just for himself!

She moved closer to him and pulled the edge of the blanket over herself. Now they were both covered. Simple, wasn’t it?

Now she could sleep without a problem. Hopefully.

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An acute pain in her left leg woke her up. It took her a while to realize that she was now lying considerably away from Clark – who, naturally, had kept the blanket for himself.

What was with her leg, though? She rubbed it gently as she reached for the bedside lamp switch. At the dim light of the lamp she could see her leg was red at places, in a way that suggested she’d have several bruises by morning.

It wasn’t difficult to guess what happened. Clark had kicked her away!

All right, then! If he wanted the blanket *that* badly, he could keep it.

Furious, Lois opened the closet, took another blanket and her pillow and headed downstairs. Enough was enough! She had to go to work tomorrow!

She settled on the living room sofa and went back to sleep.

-----

Clark woke up at 6 a.m., feeling thirsty. He noiselessly crept out of the bed, in order not to wake Lois up...

Where was Lois, though?

Maybe she was thirsty, too. He shrugged it off and headed downstairs. As he was descending the staircase, he spotted Lois sleeping on the couch. Weird...

He approached her and gently touched her arm. “Lois?”

“All right, all right! You can have the blanket!” she exploded, pushing the blanket away.

“Lois?” he repeated, a little concerned.

She blinked. “Mmm?”

“What happened?”

“You don’t want the blanket?” She rubbed her head, trying to understand what had just happened.

“No...” he stammered.

“Oh. What time is it?” she said, pulling the blanket near her.

He glanced at the clock on a bookcase shelf. “About 6.”

“Oh, nice.” She lay back on her pillow and closed her eyes.

Clark went his way to the kitchen, wondering why Lois had preferred the couch tonight.

‘Maybe she doesn’t find our new bed all that comfortable, after all,' he mused as he drank his water.

THE END


What we've got here is failure to communicate...