So, my muse decided to play nice this last week 
so that means you get a part 9. Thanks to TEEEJ and Diane for their speedy (though it doesn't seem like it when you check your email obsessively 20 times a day 
) beta-reading and fact checking. 
The muse is actively running around in my head, just waiting for me to find a pen and paper...<Please not while I'm trying to take notes in class!!! Please! 
Okay...on with the story:EDIT: Figures my BR would catch an error *after* I posted! So here it is: This part might require the use of tissues 
. There ya go, TEEEJ. ________
Perry’s gruff voice interrupted him from across the newsroom. “Clark, can I see you in my office?”
***
Perry returned to his desk and waited for Clark, wondering if he had really meant what he’d said. Was Superman not coming back? He wasn’t sure what had happened to that boy out there, but it must have been rough. He knew Superman couldn’t have appeared so readily after Clark, but it had been almost a month now and Perry was worried that Superman may have been lost up there in space, especially considering what he’d said. Understandably, Clark had been acting differently ever since he’d come back, but it was almost as if he were a different person. Well, in Perry’s experience, he was aware that war tended to do that to people, change them, break up families, but he thought Clark was stronger than that.
Being Superman, Clark was stronger than most, not just physically, but mentally as well. From the day Perry had figured out Clark’s secret, he’d paid even closer attention to his behavior. The editor had noticed that little rescues seemed to lift his spirits. Routine crime fighting enhanced the drive behind his investigative reporting. And the tragic disasters disheartened and discouraged him. But he’d also noted Clark’s resilience. It would never take him long to be back to his chipper self, especially when he was around Lois. He remembered hearing that the sun was Superman’s source of energy, it recharged his powers. And it seemed, very poetically, that emotionally, Lois was his sun. She recharged his heart and soul.
Perry was still amazed at how lucky they were to have found one another, two pieces of a whole. Though they hadn’t said anything yet, he was certain there was a baby on the way as well. Truly a miracle.
So what had them both so anxious?
He’d seen Lois miserable and close to tears over the past few weeks and he’d attributed it to pregnancy hormones, but Clark…well Clark seemed to be more distant from Lois. And the fight they’d had certainly couldn’t have been a sign that things were back to normal since Clark’s return. Maybe it wasn’t apparent to most, but he could tell something had changed between them. Clark didn’t sit as close to her anymore. He seemed hesitant to touch her and when he did, it was usually brief. He didn’t feel the same energy radiating off of them that he’d experienced in the past. Something was wrong. And he’d bet his career it had something to do with where Superman was hiding.
Clark's seemingly offhanded comment had jarred Perry. Had the war been so bad up there that Clark didn't even want to be Kryptonian anymore? Perry wondered if something had happened up there that had changed Clark in a fundamental way, so much that he just didn't want to be Superman anymore.
There was a soft knock and he looked up to find Clark in the doorway.
“Chief, you wanted to see me?”
“Yeah, Son, have a seat and close the door please.”
He waited until Clark was settled and he took a deep breath before beginning. “How are you, Clark?”
“Fine, thanks.”
“Good, good.” He certainly did seem fine.
“What’s up, Chief?”
He cleared his throat. “Uh…well…I just wanted a little rundown of this lead you mentioned.”
“Well, some of my sources say that someone, namely Mindy Church, may be trying to start up Intergang again. There have been a lot of late night activities at warehouses that are either abandoned or not scheduled to have workers there at odd hours of the night. The criminal element appears to be taking advantage of Superman’s prolonged absence.”
“Ah…the way you said it earlier, that it looked like Superman wasn’t coming back, I was just wondering maybe you knew something that I didn’t.” Clark looked at him curiously and Perry cleared his throat. “I mean, seeing as you and Lois are friends of his.”
“No, Chief, I honestly don’t know. I haven’t a clue when or if Superman is coming home.”
***
For the second time today, Perry’s expression left him flummoxed. Maybe the old man really missed Superman. He seemed so…well…sad.
“I…ah…well alright, just keep me posted on this story will ya?”
“Sure, Perry.” Clark regarded him again, trying to figure out just what his editor was thinking. Not finding the answer, he rose to leave and closed the door behind him as he exited the office. His mind swam a little as he made his way back to Lois’ desk and reclaimed his chair.
“So what did Perry want?”
“Oh, he just wanted a more detailed summary of what we have so far.”
She nodded. “So, whaddya say we get back to the list?”
“Sure thing.” He flashed her a smile, trying to ignore the feeling that he was missing something.
"So, while you were talking to Perry, I looked up the next warehouse. Belongs to Harris Shipping, owned by a Diane Harris. The company deals in, get this,” Lois paused and cocked an eyebrow at Clark, “antique musical instruments. Pianos mostly. Odd, huh? Anyway, they have on record that this building is no longer actively used, just storage for some old parts and moving equipment. Makes me wonder what they're doing at three in the morning."
"Yeah, no kidding." Clark shook his head in wonderment. "So, we should do this one tomorrow night. Even if tonight turns out to be productive, we should still look into this. Smells kinda fishy."
“I agree.”
***
They were parked far enough down on Euclid for Lois to use the binoculars and still not be seen. Clark had taken his glasses off and they sat next to Lois’ binoculars on the dash. Clark would let her know when something was happening. As of right now, the only peculiar activity going on was the woman sitting in the office, typing away at the computer and laughing maniacally at sporadic intervals. If *this* was the only late night commotion going on here, Clark was going to have to have some words with his source. But in the meantime, she might as well tell Clark about her story notes from the Congo.
“So, Clark, I um…I was going through some of my old story notes and I found something that might be useful. Well, maybe, it might not be anything at all, but I thought you could use it.”
Clark glanced at her and smiled. “You almost went into babble mode there. What is it you found?”
“My story notes from the gun-running story in the Congo.”
His face fell noticeably and the look in his eyes was unreadable. “Oh.”
Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. This clearly pained Clark to think about. But she’d thought this could help. She floundered for the right words to say. “I’m sorry, Clark. I know the whole situation is painful, but I found a few things in my notes, places you might not have looked. They might be different in your universe, but what if they’re not? And I’ll also give you a list of aliases I go by when I’m undercover. She wouldn’t have used Lois Lane, that’s for sure. And I can only imagine how many Jane Does there are in your world fitting her description…”
She trailed off when he winced.
“Six hundred and forty-eight.”
She felt a stab of pain to her heart. He said he’d looked, but…ouch. That must have been brutal. “I’m sorry Clark, maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up. I just thought…”
“No, Lois. It’s okay. Really. And you’re right, maybe this will help…all these clues I never had before. I just…well…I don’t want to get my hopes up again.”
The pain would be too much a second time around. He left that unsaid, but she could feel his pain. The sheer agony of his hopelessness seemed to weigh almost as badly as her own anguish over her Clark's departure. But she had quite a bit more hope than he did, and that made all the difference. "Sorry."
“No, Lois. Don’t be. It’s not your fault. I appreciate that you looked. That means a lot to me.”
There was silence in the Jeep for a few minutes. She didn’t know what to say. What could she say? Empty reassurances were cruel at this point. She regretted bringing up the subject. She hadn’t meant to stir up painful memories, but she had. She should probably change the subject. “So, what’s going on now?”
She saw him concentrate his attention on the warehouse and figured he was extending his hearing as well as his vision so she stayed silent.
He turned her way with an amused look on his face.
“Anything?”
“Yeah, the lady’s talking to…well, the computer I guess. Something along the lines of ‘I’ll teach you to be mean to him, see how long your stubborn pride survives in a leaky tanker at the bottom of the bay.’ Seems she’s writing a novel or something. Interesting to say the least.” His grin broadened and started laughing.
His laughter was contagious and it took a minute for Lois to catch her breath. “Crazy’s more like it.”
That only made them laugh harder. Lois swiped at the tears in her eyes as the laughter died out. “Oh, God, I needed a good laugh.”
Clark let out a deep breath. “Yeah, me too.”
“So, you think this one’s a bust?”
“Yeah, probably so. Though, now I don’t know whether to yell at my source or thank him for the entertainment.” The corners of his mouth twitched again like he was holding back another chuckle.
She sighed contentedly and started the Jeep. “Let’s head home.”
***
Lois had woken up this morning well rested for the first time in weeks, maybe months. Last night had been fun, with the exception of her slip-up, but thanks to the crazy lady, the emotions didn’t run on high for long. She’d picked up Clark for work and they’d chatted amiably about tonight’s stakeout. Now they were both in the newsroom, working individually at their desks. Perry had still given them little assignments until they came up with a little proof. With any luck, they’d get that proof tonight. Her instinct was telling her this one was the big one. Not Pulitzer material, but something big, something to get her out of the slump she’d been in. Nothing could ruin this high.
Her phone rang and she picked it up. “Lois Lane, Daily Planet.”
“Ms. Lane? This is Sonja from Dr. Keller’s office. I’m just calling to confirm you one o’clock appointment for tomorrow.”
“Uh…yeah…yes, thank you. I’ll be there.” She replaced the receiver. Okay, so strike that, there was something that could kill her rush. The doctor’s appointment itself didn’t upset her, she knew she needed to go for the baby’s continued good health. Clark’s absence was what killed her. This was yet another thing they should be experiencing together. She knew what this appointment was, the first one where she’d hear the baby’s heartbeat. The excitement that should have accompanied that prospect was lost, dampened down by the fact that Clark wouldn’t be there to hear it. Though, she thought sadly, if he were here, this wouldn’t be *his* first time hearing it, not with that super hearing of his. She sighed heavily.
“What’s wrong, Lois? Who was on the phone?”
Clark’s voice startled her. She hadn’t even noticed him coming to stand beside her. “Uh…oh, it’s nothing. Just the doctor’s office reminding me of my appointment tomorrow.” At his look of concern for her well being, she smiled and added in a whisper, “For the baby.”
“Oh…um…okay. I’m glad it’s nothing serious.”
“Nope. Just a routine checkup.”
He crouched down beside her and seemed a little hesitant. “You know, Lois, that reminds me…I don’t want to rush you or anything, but…well…you’re starting to show a little and…I was just wondering when you wanted to announce your news.”
She was starting to show. She wasn’t sure if the thought made her happy or sad. A small smile started at the corners of her mouth but died before it finished. They *would* have to tell everyone soon. And that was one more thing Clark would miss out on. He’d never be able to proclaim to the world that he was going to be a father. Everyone would congratulate him, but the real pride for him would be his connection to this planet, the human race. For once and for all, he’d feel like he belonged here. He’d feel just like any other proud father to be. Except that he wouldn’t because he wasn’t here. The other Clark was, and he was staring at her for all the world like he’d just told her he’d run over her dog.
“Lois, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up…I just thought that…”
She put a hand on his shoulder. “No, Clark, it’s okay. You’re right. I…I want to wait. Just a little while longer.”
***
For him. Her Clark. She wanted to hold out as long as she could so she could give him his moment. He didn’t blame her. And he hated that his being here would, indirectly, be the cause of more pain for her. To tell the truth, he wasn’t looking forward to the moment either. “I understand, Lois. Whenever you’re ready. I’m just gonna…” he rose and gestured back to his desk, “…get back to work. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“Thanks, Clark.”
He nodded and returned to his seat. Guilt tore at him. He shouldn’t be here, Clark should. He felt he was stealing all these precious moments from his counterpart. Clark could only imagine what it would feel like. To declare to the world that he’d fathered a child. And with the woman he loved no less. This time the envious feelings didn’t surface. He couldn’t envy his counterpart for this. Not only was he not here to know or experience the certain euphoria it would bring, but what if he never did? What if the other Clark died without ever knowing the one thing Clark was sure his counterpart had always wanted? There was a difference in knowing, being resigned to the fact that the same would never happen for *him*, but the other Clark, he’d had that hope. And the fact that his counterpart could have actually been living his dream, his wish, but wasn’t here, saddened Clark more than he could say.
***
tbc...
