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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 430
Beat Reporter
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OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 430 |
Feedback goes here  Thanks!
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 107
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 107 |
This is looking very interesting, but I'm afraid I got lost a bit in this section. Trask killed Clark's parents because of someone named Sarah? And now, everytime Clark helps someone, someone (else?) dies? I'm not sure why, but I had trouble following from paragraph to paragraph. This is starting out very nice, and I think a bit of tweaking will help it flow better. Or maybe I'm the only one who didnt' get it, and you can safely ignore me.
--
Jeff
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,047
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,047 |
Whoa, this is one messed up Clark!  How can he ignore all those pleas for help? We need Lois to straighten him right up..poor baby! Great story Aria..I really like how you write.  ~Liz
Lois: Can I go?
Clark: No.
Lois: Oh come on, Clark, why do we go through this? We both know Iām going to go.
Clark: Then why do you ask?
Lois: Iām trying to be nice.
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 430
Beat Reporter
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OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 430 |
Hey Jeff Without giving too much away, all I can say is that you're not really supposed to know what's going on yet. We're still in the dregs of setup here. You should be getting a general sense of Clark's mindset, and maybe get a few hints as to why he's in that mindset, but that's about it at this point. If this is *not* the case then I haven't done my job, and please feel free to say so If the writing itself is hard to follow, then that's another matter entirely and I can take a look at that. Other than that, I think and hope things will become clearer for you as you read onwards. Unfortunately I am not able to post this faster to find out, or I will run out of buffer  . Let me know how this crops up for you! And thanks Liz! Your wish just might be answered 
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,092 Likes: 40
Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
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Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,092 Likes: 40 |
Jeff, all I can say...is keep reading! Diane...you know, I read this again  and no matter how many times I do... Clark suppressed a small cheer. ...I still cheer for Clark  ...you know, 'cause he has to suppress it and all. Or maybe it's that awful Knob-Tailed Gecko piece still haunting me from the show and I'm glad *this* Clark was smart enough to pick something else. :p Anyway, I still feel so sad *and* nervous for Clark! Sara
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Interesting.  The man's lips slithered into a leer. "My name is Jason Trask, little alien, and I will make you understand."
"Son?"
The word reverberated in his head for a few seconds as though it were carried on the rumble of distant thunder.
"Son?" The voice repeated, but seemed to be a few pitches higher this time. Clark parents are dead and Jason appear early in his life? Did Jason case the accident? Who is Sarah? What did Clark do to Sarah? Mr. White looked up and Clark forced his voice to remain even. His heart throbbed in his ears and it seemed much hotter. "If I can't be some sort of Miracle Man, a symbolic icon of all the right morals and values, fighting my way through every injustice with my brawn, I'd like to do what I can with my pen. The media is society's metaphorical watchdog, for when the literal watchdogs aren't functioning.
Sir. And as for being at the Planet, any reporter would be crazy for not wanting to work at the most widely read, trusted, and distributed newspaper in the world."
Perry White smiled at that, and Clark felt the knots in his taut muscles begin to loosen a bit. No Lois interrupting the interview? More soon, please. MAF 
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 118
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 118 |
Great Part!  Ingra
Clark: What is that?
Lois: It's my word.
Clark: There is no such word.
Lois: Sure there is. Someone's a chump, therefore, he's chumpy.
Clark: Try again.
Lois: Are you challenging me?
Clark: You bet your sweet little chumpy I am.
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,217 |
Trask!!
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Diane, so far fascinating! I'm willing to wait to find out what's going on - just keep this coming! Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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