by the New Krypton cliffhanger. Wasn’t this the most popular fanfic-inspiring episode before that whole TOGOM business?
Anyway, in writing another story that transformed itself into a sort of sequel for this story, I had always planned on revisiting this story for a little touch up before I sent in the new one. What I didn’t plan on, was catching a few big errors and re-writing almost the entire thing. Actually, it evolved into something I’d never imagined possible and I’m surprised at just how much of the story wrote itself. The main idea is the same and there are some parts that remain from the original. I’d like to think of this version as much better since I was only 17 when I wrote the first one. But anyway, I’ll let you be the judge.
I’d like to thank Maria, Nina, and Mary – some old friends that helped me with the first version. A slightly later, but not quite finished draft made it into the hands of my writing class. I’d like to thank them for pointing out that there wasn’t nearly enough angst, among other things. And of course, I must thank the ever gracious TJ Gruffs, who has beta read it thus far.
Any recognizable likeness or words from the series are not mine, but simply an homage to the great writers of the episodes from which they came. I borrowed a scene from a movie and that’s where the story got its original title. Its new title is inspired by the song of the same name by the Calling. Everything else is mine.
“It seems that your soul is intertwined with hers, like…soulmates…where ever his was, there was yours, never one without the other. Two lovers destined to meet and fall in love over and over again throughout time…Your soul, it comes from a place beyond planets, beyond time, where we all come from. And the power of your love is what brings your souls together, time after time. You see, that is the one absolute; wherever she is, you are.” H.G. Wells, Soulmates
Chances Are – Revised Or
Wherever You Will Go Sara Kraft
skfolc@hotmail.com Clark was leaving tomorrow. They were both trying not to think about Zara, Ching, New Krypton, or anything else. Clark had suggested a movie night. Just like old times, and hopefully a good distraction. She was looking forward to it actually, that is when she didn’t let her mind wander. Clark was in the kitchen getting snacks and had left her in charge of picking out the movie. She’d settled on one that they had both seen before several times, knowing that tonight their concentration would not be so great. She was just settling down on his sofa when he came into the room with a bowl of popcorn and two cream sodas.
“So, what’s the verdict?” Clark asked, not being able to guess from the previews playing on the screen.
“‘Chances Are’.” She gave him a smile, relaxing now that he was with her. He grinned back. She could see in his eyes that he remembered too. The last time they’d watched it, they hadn’t really ‘watched’ it. They’d been still in the ‘honeymoon’ stages of their relationship. She’d teased Clark, saying he was like a farm boy on a first date behind the Tastee Freeze. He’d put his hands up in self-defense, claiming he couldn’t help it. It was her fault she was so beautiful.
It wasn’t so different now; they still had the same fire and passion, only stronger. They hadn’t made love yet, but some of their make out sessions had been pretty heated. Now she was blushing. But that was okay, because he was blushing too.
“You mean chances are we’ll miss half the movie again?” He winked at her as he set the refreshments on the coffee table.
“And what, may I ask, is so wrong with that?” She cuddled close to him when he took a seat next to her.
“Nothing, as long as I don’t miss seeing Cybil Shepard half naked.”
“Hey!” She punched him in the shoulder playfully.
“Ow!” He feigned injury and smiled at her, but his face sobered at his next words. “Don’t worry, Baby, you’re the only one I want to see naked.”
“In time, Sweetie, in time.” She hoped. She refused to believe that he wouldn’t come back and they would get married and make love for the first time on their wedding night. That’s the way it had to be. She had to believe he was coming back. She tried not to let it show on her face. Honest she did, but Clark knew her too well.
A tortured expression crossed his face. He cupped her cheek and his voice was pained. “Lois.” He kissed her, full of longing and anguish. She could feel his torment, it mirrored her own. She clung to him; he was her lifeline. Oh God, what was she going to do without him? He pulled back slowly and looked into her eyes, his brow furrowed.
“Oh, Clark.”
“Shh, Honey. I know.” He stroked her cheek with his thumb, just like he always did. One more thing she had to learn to live without. “I know.” He laid a small kiss on her forehead.
She shook herself mentally. “No. We’re not supposed to think about tomorrow.” She was determined not to ruin the last night they had together by being inconsolable. She touched his face, trying to memorize it. “Let’s watch the movie, okay?”
He kissed her tenderly on the lips and agreed.
She snuggled closer to him, resting her head on his chest and he put his arm around her shoulders. “Ooh, good! Just in time for my favorite part.”
***
Corrine woke up on a half empty bed and called out as she felt the barren spot next to her. “Louie?”
At the sound of his name, Louie jumped out of the bathroom. “Happy Anniversary!” He took her into his arms as she walked towards him, giving him an enthusiastic kiss.
“You’re dressed,” she pouted.
“Yeah, but I don’t have to be.”
“Well, get undressed and get back in bed. I have something for you,” she said seductively as she slipped back under the bed covers.
“Okay!” Louie wasted no time in stripping down to his boxers and jumping back into bed. He immediately smothered her with kisses and attempted to make love to her but she interrupted him.
“No, Louie, that’s not the way I planned it.”
He sat back against the headboard, “So this is a planned thing?”
“Yeah, I wanted to be here in bed when I gave you your anniversary present, because this is where it was made.”
His eyes lit up with excitement. “We’re having a baby?”
“Mmm-huhm,” she nodded.***
Lois’ minded wandered from the movie. She hadn’t told Clark why she liked that scene, but maybe he’d guessed. In a strange turn of events, she, Lois Lane, had found her maternal instincts. Ever since they’d gotten engaged, her biological clock had started ticking. It was almost scary how much she loved him. She’d never thought she’d say this about any man, but she wanted to have Clark’s baby. Not only that, but she wanted to tell him in such a perfectly sweet moment – like in the movie.
“You know, Clark, that’s something we haven’t talked much about.” She glanced over at him.
He gave her a curious look. “What’s that?”
“Having children.”
The smile that took over his face warmed her heart. God, she could just see the love, the future in his eyes. She felt the tears again, pricking at the back of her eyes so she took a deep breath and rushed on. “I mean we’re both agreed we want children, right? But with you being Kryptonian and all, we don’t even know if that’s possible. I know we could still adopt if that were the case, but even if we *can* have children, who’s to say that we’ll be good parents? Well, of course you’ll be the *perfect* dad, but me…look at my example, I’ll probably be the worst…”
He put a gentle finger to her lips. “Lois, Lois, Honey, slow down.” He replaced his finger with a kiss then continued. “First of all, I *know* you’ll be a *great* mom. And second, the rest is something we’ll have to discover together, when the time comes. And maybe…” He hesitated and she knew he was going to bring up the subject they weren’t supposed to even think about. His next words were spoken with such determination. “Maybe *when* I come back, I’ll have learned some more about myself. Where I come from. Maybe I can convince Zara and Ching to help me figure out just how biologically compatible you and I are.”
She smiled warmly at him. “Well,” she moved closer to his face. “I wouldn’t mind finding out on our own just how compatible we are.” Adamant now to lighten the mood and take their minds off tomorrow, she started nibbling at his ear and kissed her way to his mouth.
“Yeah,” he groaned, “neither would I.” He covered her mouth with his.
She leaned against him, taking the kiss deeper, his leaving all but forgotten. She tugged at his lower lip with her teeth before probing her tongue back into the warm recess of his mouth. Finding his tongue, she suckled at it as her hands found the back of his neck. It seemed an eternity before she pulled gently away from his mouth. She needed air. She heard him groan in protest, but it soon turned to a moan when she started exploring his neck.
He was breathing heavily above her when he cupped her face and brought it back to his mouth. His hands were wandering now, caressing her through the thick material of her sweatshirt, and it felt wonderful. She gasped when she felt his hands move under her shirt. She moaned into his mouth and pulled him to her as she shifted to fall backward, encouraging him to lie atop her on the couch. She reveled in the feeling of his weight on top of her and reached to untuck his shirt. He paused to pull it over his head and tossed it behind him before capturing her lips again. She pulled him closer and she felt him smile against her lips.
“This is so sexy. You’re so sexy, Lois.”
She tried to pull him closer still, trying to convey her emotions as she kissed him. Clark groaned and his hand…
“Stop! Before you buy a new car…”
They both stopped abruptly, startled, and looked at the TV. She worked on catching her breath and felt the remote digging into her back. She pulled the offending gadget out to show Clark and he gave her a breathless smile. She let out a ragged breath and thumbed the power button, silencing the interruption and threw the remote somewhere in the room. She felt Clark’s hand slipping outside the sweatshirt and smoothing it back into place. It was probably for the best, right? Though telling her body that would be a whole different challenge.
***
He sighed heavily, placing his arms on either side of her. He pushed up a little so that not all his weight was on her, though he kept their hips in contact. He could hear her heart was still racing from their interrupted passion. She was looking into his eyes and hers were dark with desire, but they had wanted to wait, right?
“Lois?” His voice was husky. He was having a hard time remembering why they’d wanted to wait and he couldn’t bring himself to move just yet.
“Yeah?” She blushed under his heated stare.
He’d never seen anything more beautiful than the woman below him, flushed and just as breathless as he was. God give him the strength to stop.
But he didn’t want to move or speak, afraid that if he moved, he would ruin this moment.
“Clark?”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t want to wait anymore. What if…”
Clark didn’t let her finish. He pressed himself to her fully again and captured her mouth with his own. She found his hand and guided it back under her shirt.
The heat between them was electric. He could hardly believe the sensations she was causing inside him. Clark pulled back to look at her for a moment. “I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in my life."
She gave him a warm smile in return. “Why don’t we continue this in the bedroom?”
He whole-heartedly agreed.
***
Lois woke up slowly and smiled, remembering the night before. His warm body behind her and his large arms enveloping her, assured her that it hadn’t been a dream. His deep breathing told her that he was still asleep.
“Clark?”
He moaned and nuzzled his face in the nape of her neck.
“Clark, Honey?”
“Yes, Beautiful?”
“Thank you.”
He could feel her smile. “For what?”
“For loving me.”
She snuggled closer to him. “You’re welcome.”
He shifted behind her and started to get up, but she stopped him.
“Don’t leave me yet.”
He stayed. Her voice was almost panicked and it broke his heart. “Shh…Honey, it’ll be okay.” He held her close and stroked her hair. He laid a kiss on the back of her head. “We’ll be okay.”
All he could do was hold her. She fell asleep in a short time and for that he was thankful. He didn’t want her to see him cry. The tears rolled silently down his cheeks as he tried to reassure himself with the soft rhythmic music of her heartbeat. Of all his abilities, he cherished that one the most. It enabled him to hear her heart beating. He could tell when she was sleeping, scared, excited, aroused. It was soothing, comforting. It’s how he knew he was home.
Sometimes he cursed his heritage. It wasn’t often, usually it had been when he was younger and feeling like he would never fit in. Now that he had finally found his place, somewhere he belonged, he’d thought it would never cross his mind again. But here he was, his arms around his fiancé, his soulmate, his world, and he was torn. He didn’t want to leave, not really, but part of his heart compelled him to his birthright. To do the right thing. And for this he cursed it.
Before Lois, he wouldn’t have given a second thought to leaving with his people. He’d always longed for that connection, that feeling that he belonged somewhere. It was jarring now to know that there were others out there like him, that he wasn’t the last of his kind. In a strange way, that sense of isolation wasn’t there anymore. He was eager to know where he came from. Though New Krypton wasn’t where he had been born, it was somewhere that he could learn of his heritage, how the Kryptonians lived, and what their customs were. He’d always wondered, and now he had the chance to discover it.
It bothered him that this opportunity had come only as the result of a civil war. He resented the fact that they didn’t feel they could resolve the conflict on their own, that the only reason they had sought him out was to fight a war. A war he wasn’t sure he understood. And he wasn’t even certain that it was his war to fight. Sure, he shared blood and genetic material with these people, but from what little contact he’d had with Zara and Ching, he knew that they did not share the same ethics or values. How was he to fight with them, lead them? He had a hard time seeing himself as a part of any war, let alone leading one. He wasn’t a killer. And he had a sickening feeling that he was going to have to compromise those morals by which he stood.
Would he be able to do it? Would he be able to ignore the part of himself that knew inherently that killing was wrong? Would he be able to tell himself that the lives of “his” people were worth the deaths of the evil ones who opposed them? And if he could, how would he live with himself afterwards? It was different than choosing who to rescue in an earthquake or a flood. He tried to save them all, but when he chose to take an injured victim to the hospital and his neighbor died because he hadn’t been there, it was still hard to accept. Lois had always helped him deal with the guilt. But she wouldn’t be there on New Krypton with him. She wouldn’t be able to hold him after he took his first life. That would be the hardest part he knew, living everyday for God knew how long, without Lois. She was his world. He had fallen so completely in love with her, he wasn’t sure now how to live without her.
He thought back to the moment they’d met, the moment he’d fallen in love with her, and it made him smile. It was the first time in his life he’d felt complete, like there was somewhere he belonged. It had taken years to show her that she deserved love, that they were meant to be together. And now they *were* together, in every sense and he was torn. He was being forced to choose between the love he’d thought he’d never have and the past he’d been sure he’d never find.
***
Clark awoke a few hours later. Lois had shifted in his arms so she was facing him. He gazed down at her. She was so peaceful in her sleep, not able to feel the pain of his leaving her. Leaving was the right thing to do. At least he knew that intellectually, but emotionally and otherwise, this was going to be the single most difficult thing he’d ever had to do.
They’d decided days ago that Superman should say his farewell and make his exit from the Daily Planet. He and Lois would have their own private good-byes before heading there. It would be easier that way. They’d both agreed that he had to go, and without the barrier of the Superman façade and hundreds of people, he didn’t think he’d be able to leave her.
He worried about Lois. Normally, he would have flown his parents here to be with her and comfort her at a time like this. But they couldn’t be here. When Clark had made his final decision a few days ago, Lois and he had agreed that it would be best to make an excuse for Clark before Superman had to leave. So his father had “taken ill” and sent for Clark to help out on the farm. Neither of them could be sure when or if he would return, but this would explain Clark’s disappearance for at least a few months. With any luck, he would be back sooner than that and Lois could “join” him in Smallville and they could be alone for awhile. He glanced at the clock on his nightstand. 6:45. The press conference was scheduled for 9 a.m.. That left two hours. Only two hours left with Lois until he left indefinitely.
He took one last look at her sleeping form and leaned down to kiss her. He smiled against her lips. Her heartbeat told him that she’d sensed him before she even woke. But she didn’t stay asleep long. He pulled back reluctantly.
Her eyes flew open in a panic. “It’s not time yet is it?”
His heart broke inside, though he tried not to let it show on his face. “No, Sweetie, we still have a few hours.” God, this was going to be hard.
***
She relaxed, but only a little. She wanted to beg him to stay. She didn’t want him to go. But she couldn’t say it. He might just stay. And while it tore at her heart to think of him leaving, he needed to go. He needed to find out about his past, where he’d come from. If he didn’t, he’d never truly know himself and she couldn’t have that. If he stayed, she would never have all of him. There would always be that little part of him that wondered ‘what if?’ All she could do was hope and pray that he came back to her. That was the only thing she could do. Thinking anything else would destroy her. Their love had conquered so much already. This wouldn’t be any different. That’s the way it *had* to be.
She gave him a weak smile. She knew it was unconvincing, but she had to try. She had to be strong. They had to be strong. His hand caressed her face. She covered his hand with her own and kissed his palm.
He was wearing the same smile she’d just tried on him. “Want some breakfast? I could make some eggs and pancakes. Or waffles? You want waffles instead? Or I could fly in some croissants from France. Whatever you want. And some coffee, orange juice. The works.”
This time her smile was genuine.
“What?”
“Babbling is *my* job, Clark.”
He let out an airy chuckle. “Look at us. We’re a wreck.”
“Yeah,” she smiled, “but can you blame us?”
“I guess not. So, seriously, do you want some breakfast?”
“Sure. I’m pretty hungry actually. I guess we burned a lot of calories last night.
That earned her his mega-watt smile. “We sure did.”
He moved to get up. “Let’s take a shower, then I’ll make us a five star meal.”
She smirked at him. “You are insatiable, you know that?”
“Yeah, but can you blame me?”
***
The pleasant atmosphere at breakfast was a façade. They both knew it. Clark was trying to take her mind off the hours to come, and poor Lois; he could tell how brave she was trying to be. Life wasn’t fair. They had been through so much to get to this point and now fate was throwing up another roadblock to their happiness. Would they be able to move this one? Would he make it back to her?
That scared him more than anything. Not the actual fact that he could die, but that he would leave Lois alone to grieve for him. He’d done it once before when Clyde Barrow had shot him down and he’d seen how badly she’d taken it. And now that they were together, he feared it would be much worse. He didn’t want to put her through that kind of pain. An everlasting pain. She’d never know whether or not he’d died. He made a silent vow that he would do *anything* to make it back to her. Then they could start their life together.
“So…” he started lamely. He couldn’t think of anything to say.
“So…”
“What did you want to do?”
Her voice was quiet. “Just hold me, Clark.”
“Come here.” He held out his arms for her and gathered her into his lap when she came. He wrapped his arms around her and just held her. Without changing position, he floated them to the living room and landed on the couch. She clung to him like a child after a nightmare, only hers was just beginning. Her head was resting against his chest and he held her there, stroking her silky hair. “I love you so much, Lois.”
“I love you too, Clark,” she said against his shirt. “I love you too.”
***
She didn’t know how long she sat in his arms, her head to his chest, memorizing the sound of his heartbeat and the feel of his arms around her. She kept thinking maybe if she didn’t move, didn’t breathe too deeply, they could stay in this moment forever. Just him and her. No one else. And maybe they could disappear. Away from the Planet, away from the Earth, away from New Krypton. But that wouldn’t happen and Clark confirmed it.
“Sweetie? It’s time.”
She stayed still, and whispered, “Okay.”
Slowly, she moved to get up. At the same time his chest disappeared and in its place was her pillow.
tbc...
