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Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
Yep. It's long. I thought I could put the last two scenes into one chapter, but 10,000 words later, I'm finally on the second scene, directly after the perfect chapter break. So...at least it's a slightly more hopeful ending this time, right? At least there are no abysses at the end this time anyway! 
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
![[Linked Image]](http://cosgan.de/images/smilie/konfus/n022.gif) Clark.... um... Superman lives!  RL interruptions. /
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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I noticed when Lois referred to "Luthor". That has to be the true moment of victory.
True, the way she had looked at him, and her managing to get in there at Star Labs were already good signs.
I understand why Clark is so afraid. The place does sound like a prison. It also seems to not have been chosen as the optimal place for him to recover. On the other hand, I guess since they were cutting out the Krptonite, this may not have been the recovery place.
I was just so impressed that Lois said "Luthor" that I had to comment on it.
John Pack Lambert
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Clark tore at the door again, heedless of the monitor blaring out an alarm behind him or the pinpricks of pain stabbing all over his body as nerve endings complained at their rude awakening. He tried to cry out, to call for help, but his throat was hoarse and his voice emerged dry and quiet--and on second thought, that was probably a good thing. Clark could call for help, but he was in the Superman Suit, and the hero didn’t call for help. He *answered* calls for help.
But he was weak. He was Superman, and it didn’t matter, because the door was unbreachable. He could tear at it, he could pound his fists against it, he could twist the handle as much and as often as he liked, but it wouldn’t open. It simply stood there.  Yay!!! 'Bout time the lunkhead realized that. "Only Superman left" my fat… er, my foot. The entire room, tensed at his abrupt question, relaxed when his attention moved back to her, curious onlookers trusting to the lion-tamer to keep them safe.  Oh, Lois. “I made them keep the Suit on, though, as much as possible. I thought if you woke up without it, you’d…you’d wonder what they knew. And I wasn’t sure if seeing Superman in a hospital gown would make you look too much like Clark.” Aha. Okay, I'll stop blaming the absent-minded scientists now.  He was the one named a hero, the one who had articles written on him and cameras turned in his direction every time he made an appearance, the one made into a symbol of hope for the world--but he didn’t know why. Didn’t know why one brightly attired man with more-than-average strength was considered the hero when there were men like Dr. Klein, and Perry and Jimmy and Henderson and Jack, women like Lois and his mom. They called him hero, but Superman looked at the human in front of him and wished he could name his own heroes. Love this! And while it may still be rather self-dismissive, at least his thoughts are heading in a more positive direction. Really amazed by all the imagery in this, and looking forward to the next part!
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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 that later on Lois referred to Luthor as "Lex". However I loved her "I care about you more" line. I'm not sure why Clark is so hard on himself, but I think he doesn't get how helpful it was to take Lois with him on the rescues. With Luthor dead, maybe they can act like there was no stabbing at all. I just hope there is some way to bring Clark back. Lois and Superman could have a relationship, true, but it would be so much better if Clark comes back. I was hoping Lois was trying to work out how to do that at the end. Of course if Lois is real smart, what she will do is call up Perry and Jimmy an Jack and have them come visit Clark before he gets out of bed tomorrow morning.
John Pack Lambert
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Well, we still have some things to figure out (the biggie--bringing 'Clark' back And then there was a burst of color exploding before his hue-starved eyes, and Lois pushed her way through the mass of white until she stood in the middle of his cell, planted on the thin strip of floor that was all that stood between him and the intent, eager eyes of his audience, her expression fixed on him to the exclusion of all else. A lion-tamer, he found himself thinking, and felt only relief, because with her there, with her blue, blood-stained sweater, her grime-torn jeans, her dark, *dark* hair and eyes, the vitality sparking outward from her in every direction as if she carried her own personal storm with her wherever she went…well, with her there to dilute the white behind her, he didn’t feel quite so alien, so set apart, so hopeless. Agree with Virginia completely here  ...I really loved how Lois forges his connection--helps him to feel like he can relate. It speaks so much of their bond to each other. “Superman,” she said, suddenly still, motionless…but her eyes still full of so much he was sure he was interpreting incorrectly because if she’d looked at him like *this* before, then he wouldn’t have delayed nearly so long in telling her he loved her.  Laura
"Where's Clark?" "Right here."
...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.
~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Another great chapter! Clark's worse fear, waking up to find himself powerless, alone, in a locked room, hooked up to tubes and wires and beeping monitor machines. Add to all this his current state of mind, and I've got to give Clark credit for handling it as well as he did. And kudos to Lois for being so perceptive.
Speaking of Lois, and perceptions, and states of mind, I must commend you on how well you have been able to give us all these hints and clues as to what Lois is thinking. We have been seeing all of these events exclusively from Clark's point of view, and he has been a most unreliable narrator. Well, he's not the narrator, but you know what I mean.
I cannot wait to read more...
"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Wonderful chapter. You captured Clark's fear incredibly well. And I agree with previous posters about your gift for description. Very well done.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Eight parts? I don't hear anyone complaining! 
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
Anti-K? Um... it's been a week.  Can we have a new part now?
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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 ) Lovin' the story, Anti-K... Laura
"Where's Clark?" "Right here."
...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.
~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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I'll grovel, too. Soon, please?
"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
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Joined: Jan 2011
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Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
How evil I'd go, Virginia? I don't think I want to know -- I've learned that actually, as bad as I think I treat my characters, the readers can usually come up with something far worse! And thanks for being willing to stick around, even if only grudgingly. Clark did have a fast recovery time, but even as exhausted and hurt as he is, I'm figuring that his stress and worry over what was happening would make him wake up faster, alert and ready for the worst...which he seemed to think he'd found at first. As to how they discovered the bit of Kryptonite inside him, I'm not even going to go there. I know NOTHING about the art of medicine, so I glaze over it as best I can and hope no one notices. Glad the coffee metaphor worked -- it was one of my favorites! And he threatened to use his powers against Lois, so to speak, at The Window, when he told her unless her robe was lead-lined it didn't matter whether she put it on or not; I've always imagined Clark felt pretty badly about that statement, considering how careful he always is about making sure people know he only uses his powers to help. And maybe your feedback took a long time, but I'm very grateful you made the effort -- thank you! Thanks for noticing the name change, John! I've noticed, actually, that in most of my stories involving Luthor, there's a moment when Lois switches over. I didn't set out to do it on purpose, but it has always bothered me when, in the show, she keeps calling him Lex all the way up through the end. Understandable, I suppose, but still a bit bothersome. And since it's understandable, I did have her 'forget' a couple times to call him Luthor rather than Lex. And yes, hopefully Clark Kent will be able to make a come-back, though there are the two thugs still to worry about. I had to grin at your comment about that being a CLARK fear, Colleen! It's very true, and as hard as he's trying to resign himself to his fate, he just can't turn off Clark Kent. And thanks -- that paragraph about him naming his own heroes is one I'm rather fond of, for exactly the reasons you pointed out! Yay, LMA! That Kool-Aid analogy was one I was a bit worried about; I can't tell you how many times I moved the mouse over it about to delete it or come up with something different. But it conveyed what I wanted it to convey so I let it stay in -- and now I'm very glad I did! Lois being his bridge was one of my favorite bits, just because it showed how cut off he feels from everyone, even though he identifies with them all so strongly. The hug was essential! I needed it as much as they did by this point, I think! And I'm glad the touches worked -- it helped that I'd written a story all about her touching him! I'm actually relieved that everyone noticed right away WHY Clark was so afraid when he woke up where he did -- I didn't want to spell it out, so I needed it to be clear right away. I actually was thinking, halfway through this chapter, that somehow or another, I'd managed to weave in almost every fear Clark has -- not on purpose, I promise! And yay again! I'm really glad that you're able to tell what Lois is thinking. It's hard to show her thoughts when Clark's so utterly wrong about what she's thinking, but it is fun to try to get it all in there. I'm relieved that it's all turning out! Thanks, IolantheAlias! Clark afraid is very easy to write, but very draining because it's so sad! Thanks, Morgana! If my beta isn't complaining, then I'm a happy writer! And I'm so sorry that I was missing for so long! I had to work extra hours and it was my sister's birthday yesterday and...and anyway, next chapter coming right up -- and for a change, I won't add an extra number at the end.
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