That was freakin' hilarious!

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“This is the President,” announced a firm voice.

“Of what?” she demanded automatically.

“Of the United States!” snapped a firm voice, sounding a little testy. “...I’m sorry, do you know how many times I’ve been asked that? It gets old fast.”
LOL!

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“I was trying to call the White House Cafeteria...”

“You need to dial a 2 first for an internal line, “ said the President. “Say good bye, hand up and dial again.”

“Ah is that a two and then-“

“Say good bye, hang up and dial again, beginning with a 2.”
Sort of the equivalent of voice mail hell.

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I’ve seen those polls. 90% of the people think Superman is the greatest thing since George Washington invented sliced bread. The other 10% think he’s here to invade but 5% say he’s the nicest invader we’ve ever had and just over 1% think he’s here to invade and he’s so nice we should surrender because he’d do a better job of running things.”
I just about fell out of my chair laughing at that.

And the kicker was the last two lines!