There's not that much suspense in this story, since it's a retelling of a completed fic, but there are still gems to mine. Like this one:
Later, they were lying on her bed watching the stars out of the skylight. Jimmy's arm was wrapped around her and her head was on his chest.
"Did Clark talk to you?" he asked.
She nodded. "Yeah. I guess he probably gave you the same 'don't have sex' talk he gave me."
"Probably pretty close, but somehow I think I'll see him watching us every time I want to do more than give you the smallest of kisses."
Lucy giggled. "He probably wouldn't be too happy to know that we're up here."
"He's not," a voice called from the bedroom.
Lucy and Jimmy winced. They scrambled off the bed. They leaned on the railing looking down on a frowning Clark.
Being a father myself, I can imagine Clark's voice being in the lower register with flat inflection and clipped syllables.
And he isn't smiling.
I'm a little surprised Jimmy wasn't more embarrassed by being caught being someplace he knew he shouldn't be. But I am glad that Clark didn't go off on either of them while he did remind them of who he is and of the position he's been thrust into.
I can recall some similar conversations with my daughter's boyfriend. Maybe if I had been more "super" they would have had better effect.
