I'm so late to this party... but fortunately there isn't much need for a lot of additional insights and comments after Cornelia and, especially, IolantheAlias have done their jobs!
I, too, giggled at Lars' realization after Clark had shattered a wall to get in:
It did explain one of the questions Lars had always had about the American superhero.
With all his powers and skills, why didn't he use the door?
It was clear to Lars now. That moment of horrified disbelief as the wall shattered bought him time, time to grab guns and stop bullets and do so with minimal harm to others.
So brilliant and, in its own way, so funny! Well, perfection is funny. And getting the perfect explanation of a weird phenomenon is perfectly funny!
“We shouldn't have three times as many particles in the system as we put in there…”
“What if it's the same particle,” Piers said, his face slowly going white. “In three different universes.”
“You wouldn't be able to see them in this one,” the woman holding Lars said.
“Unless their universe and our universe are partially superimposed.” Piers looked horrified. “We DID cause the rifts.”
How chillingly perfect!!!!
As he moved the magnet slightly, the cold hit him like a wave. It was a cold deeper than that of deep space, which in his experience wasn't actually that cold. It was colder than anything he'd ever experienced, to the point of actually being somewhat painful.
It was the cold of the beginning of the universe, and as he moved the magnet the beam was deflected and it hit the mass of concrete and earth behind him with the power of a bomb.
The metaphor you use to describe the cold that Clark felt is sheer poetry. As such, it is extremely powerful, and therefore you absolutely shouldn't change it. But please forgive me for adding a small astronomical tidbit:
Today the the entire universe is permeated by the so-called Cosmic Microwave Radiation whose temperature is 2.725 degrees Kelvin above absolute zero. Astronomers believe that this radiation is the remnant of the unbelievably hot temperatures of the universe's birth. Back then, when the entire universe is believed to have been smaller than an atom, all of the present cosmic microwave radiation was concentrated inside this unbelievably tiny sphere, and the temperature here is believed to have been trillions or quadrillions of degrees. (Sorry, couldn't resist. Please don't change your beautiful metaphor.)
Junior felt his granduncle's hand on his shoulder. The old man was looking better since he'd been back on his medications.
“They're going to call you in,” he said.
At Junior's look, he said, “What else are they going to do?”
“All national guard units are going to be mobilized, and I ask again that people remain in their homes to leave streets open for emergency responders.”
The telephone began to ring, and Junior sighed.
Cyrus smiled at his grandnephew and said, “Have I told you how proud I am of you?”
That was lovely. I was so glad to see Cyrus again, and to see that he was doing so much better, and that he has a grandnephew that he can be so proud of.
He listened to the voice on the other end of the line and then sighed. “It's only…yes.”
Setting the telephone receiver down on the desk, he stepped closer to the rubble around the hole in the wall. “SUPERMAN! YOU HAVE A TELEPHONE CALL!”
He'd never felt so stupid.
Poor Piers! That was so funny!
And like Cornelia said, people have really started calling Clark Superman now.
She reached up to place it in his ear and then realized that his eyes were on her. She flushed, realizing suddenly just how close she was standing to him. She forced herself to go through the motions of placing it in his ear.
...
She realized that he hadn't released her hands a moment later and she looked up at him, suddenly more aware of him than ever.
“I…” he said. “You make me feel…”
He was struggling for words and Lois felt a moment of sympathy. She knew exactly how he felt because she was feeling that way herself.
She pulled him down to her and kissed him.
Feeling the earth moving had always seemed like a hackneyed cliché, something bad writers used when they couldn't come up with anything any more creative.
But in this case Lois felt her center of balance giving way and she felt suddenly dizzy. She closed her eyes and it was as though the entire world faded away from around her.
It wasn't until she heard the cheers from some people in the crowd that she opened her eyes and saw the flashes of photographs being taken.
This was just lovely.
And it reminds me of a comic book story I read once. The Earth was under an extreme threat, and in fact it might be swallowed up by nothingness. Clark was flying off to try to fight it. Before he left, he had said good-bye to Lois. She was standing on a rooftop (I think), looking at Clark flying away. She said to him, 'I love you', and then she herself was fading away, as the wave of nothingness hit her.
This is such a brilliant story, Shayne.
Ann
