I like the strong emotional themes you have running through the story. There's a longing for the child that no longer is, as well as a fear that their marriage will also dissolve. There's a curiosity as to what change they might have made, however small it might have been, as well as a longing to make things right in the end. Overlayed atop of all of that is the feeling of Lois and Clark clinging to each other as they always do during rough times.
The dual memories are an interesting touch. They haven't lost anything yet, but fear that they might. On the other hand, they're starting to gain an understanding of who they have become.
As for the italics issue,
have you considered
paginating differently?
It would be a lot of work,
but you could manually
shorten the columns like this.
That way it visually looks
different than the rest.
Elisabeth
