I loved how you wrote the beginning of this chapter, where Lois was first unaffected by the kiss that John had given her, but then, when she came to work, she was nervous. Then she was relieved that John wasn't there, and then she was worried about his absence. And then she started to wait for Clark, and she began feeling lonely and sad when he didn't show up. I thought all of that was great. It showed so clearly, to me at least, that Lois still loves Clark.
But I was so angry at this:
“Wow,” she whispered. It was amazing.
Clark smiled and softly whispered back, “Yeah, I've always wanted to share this with you.”
Lois looked up at him, “What do you mean?”
Clark looked down at her, his eyes sad. “I used to fantasize about telling you who I was. There was so much I wanted to do with you, so much I wanted to experience with you. I knew you would love it up here. I even thought of taking you as Superman, but…”
“But?” Lois prompted.
“Nothing. It's just going to upset you,” Clark mumbled.
“Tell me anyway,” Lois replied, an edge to her voice.
“I didn't want to encourage you. You had such a crush on Superman.”
She had such a crush on Superman! So he didn't want to encourage her! Honestly, isn't he blaming
her for the fact that he didn't take her flying? I think he is. He is blaming her for having such a crush on the wrong him, so that he couldn't encourage her, or take her flying, or share his secret with her!
Gaaahhh!!! It was
his decision not to take Lois flying! It wasn't Lois's fault! And yet he is still sort of blaming her. Shouldn't he have apologized to her instead?
Clark should have told Lois that
he thought that Lois had such a crush on Superman, and
he wanted to fly with her as himself, but
he didn't know how to tell her who he really was. That way he would have put the blame, or at least the explanation, where it belonged - on himself.
Lois nodded her head, not being able to argue with that, but still not understanding why that would matter to him. She thought in silence for a few seconds before suddenly understanding. “And you wanted me to want to be with Clark,” she said.
Clark nodded, before saying, “I know it sounds silly, but I didn't want to experience it with you as Superman. It just… it isn't the same that way.”
Lois smiled, “No, it's not. I agree.”
Of course Lois needed to understand who Clark really was before she could love him. But she couldn't love him for himself when he stubbornly kept hugely important aspects of himself hidden from her.
I think Lois is too forgiving here, and too willing to, sort of, accept that it was somehow a measure of
his love and
her fault that he had to lie to her. Honestly, anonpip, if that is what her relationship with Clark going to be like, then I would rather see Lois married to John than to Clark in the future.
Of course I don't mean that Lois should be blaming Clark all the time and reminding him of what he did wrong. No, they need to turn over a new leaf, put the past behind them and start over. But please don't let Clark put the blame for their past mess on Lois.
I'd actually much rather see Lois with Clark than with John in the future. But only if Clark accepts responsibility for his rather dreadful past mistakes himself, rather than blaming Lois.
Ann
