Okay, here's Part 4, much earlier than usual.
It's mainly B-Plot, aka waffiness. Next Part gets into the A-Plot, aka action. Hope you enjoy!
And now on to the story...
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Lying on her bed, Lois Lane stared at the ceiling. She watched the fan lazily rotate round once and then complete another circuit. She was thinking, her mind stuck on one topic in particular.
“Hmph,” Lois grunted forcefully, flopping over on to her side. A fist shot out to punch her pillow as she made another similar noise, indicating her perturbed state. The pillow was often her companion as she dreamed of Clark, receiving her unwitting embraces with its usual soft ease. Tonight the poor cushion was getting the beating of its life.
Lois tossed and turned some more, her brain refusing to let go of the train of thought it was on. This thing with Intergang…well, it was big. From the sounds of things, they were importing ancient Egyptian artifacts from the tombs of various pharaohs and other distinguished peoples from their courts. And that it was being done inside Cost Mart shipments just proved its lack of legality.
After Lois had gotten home, she’d done a little research and checked up on the name she’d heard Dougal mention to Mindy Church. Everything that she’d read had told her that Imhotep’s tomb had never been discovered. ‘Well, not by proper Egyptologists anyway,’ Lois thought irritably. ‘Either the thugs at Intergang discovered his tomb by accident, or somehow they knew where to look. Whichever way it happened, they’re stealing what they find and selling it to the highest bidder.’
Lois knew deep down inside herself that she worked better as part of a team in circumstances like these; someone to bounce ideas off; someone to have her back in difficult situations. She spared a thought as to whether she would have been able to work with Dougal if he wasn’t already implicated, but after a moment decided that Clark was without a doubt the only person she could ever see as a possible partner.
So what should she do? What was the best way to go about enlisting Clark’s help? She needed – no, wanted – his help. Yet she didn’t want to give him the wrong idea: that everything was all right and that he should feel free to lie to her whenever he so chose.
'But Clark wouldn’t lie to you,' piped up the virtuous foil to her fiendish inner voice.
“Oh yeah?” Lois retorted, remembering back to the moment when she’d recognised that her boyfriend was not simply the mild-mannered reporter he claimed to be. Then she groaned: “Oh great; now I’m talking to myself!”
'You certainly are,' said the obliging voice.
“Well, I suppose there’s nothing for it then.” She grabbed a jacket and headed for the door: right now, for Lois to think was to act. She paused a moment to turn out the light and sighed dramatically; inside she had the beginnings of butterflies in her stomach. “It’s only Clark,” she told herself. “No big deal. Only Clark.”
‘No big deal? Yeah right.’
*****
<Dear Lois>, Clark paused, his hand suspended mid-air with a pen dangling from between his fingers: how best to start? The alter ego of Metropolis’ favourite superhero heaved a sigh, unintentionally blowing his budding letter to the floor halfway across the room. He raced to retrieve it, sighing once more as he went.
“How do I even begin to explain how I’ve been feeling during the time that I’ve known Lois?” he said aloud. “There’s been so many thoughts, so many emotions.” He took his seat once more and began to tap the end of his pen against the tabletop. “What do I say?”
<I’m not sure that I know how to start this letter, so perhaps I’ll simply write exactly what I’m thinking in this clumsy attempt to explain my feelings and thoughts over the past year and a half. Please forgive any rambling that this may result in.>
Clark nodded to himself – that worked. Maybe he could do this after all!
<Ever since I’ve known you, Lois, I’ve been addicted to you. There, I said it and it’s really the only way to adequately describe how much you’ve captivated me, how much my life revolves around you and your happiness. I have loved you from the moment you first barged into Perry’s office during my interview, when much as I’d hoped to someday find someone I could really be myself with – someone I could spend the rest of my life with – I was beginning to wonder if it was possible.
Now, before you go saying, “Oh, there goes Clark, acting all woe-is-me...” – you forget, I know how you think, Lois – I’d just like to point out that there are many people in this world that have made me unsure about this: Lana, Trask, Mayson, to name a few. Not that I wanted to marry Trask, but you understand what I’m getting at here. There are people out there who dislike me even to the point of hate because of what I can do and...it scares me.
But meeting you, Lois, it changed me. It made me think that maybe I’d finally found someone who could love me for me. At first, you certainly seemed to love my other persona, Superman, and for a time that was problematic. You see Clark was in love with you; you merely tolerated him. Then we started being friends, which progressed to best friends. You are still the best friend I have ever had, Lois. That will never stop being true. And as mad as you are at me, I won’t stop loving you. I couldn’t.
I want you to understand that telling you – telling anyone – about how I moonlight in tights and a red cape is an incredibly scary thought. I tried, so many times after we got together, because I really did want to tell you. Don’t you remember how often I would start a sentence with, “Lois, I’m Super-” and then get cut off by something? Whether it was a knock at the door, the ring of the telephone, or a super-call it was impossible to ignore... Why does this world always need me at the most inopportune times?
Anyway, you have to know that I wanted to tell you. I meant to tell you before I proposed, I really did! It’s just...I was so terrified that you would reject me because of the revelation and that I would therefore lose you. Losing you is my worst nightmare, Lois. I sometimes wake up in a cold sweat because I’ve dreamt you hated me and were leaving me. These past few weeks have been hell. Complete and utter hell. I’ve hidden it the best I could, to give you time, but I have missed you *so* much. If I could take back the proposal, I would. Not because I don’t want to marry you: I do, more than anything in this world. But because then I could tell you as I should have. I could be the one to confess to you that I am Superman. It’s my fault, Lois, all of it. I hurt you; I made you think that I didn’t trust you. I trust you, Lois. Apart from my parents, you are the one person in the world I could see myself telling this secret to. I’m so sorry I didn’t do it right.
I love you, Lois. Always have, always will. This time I will not run away.>
Clark had just laid down his pen for a moment when a knock sounded at the door. Reaching up to pull down his glasses and take a look as he habitually did, he quickly realised that he didn’t have his glasses on anyway. He also realised that it was Lois at the door. His heart thumped painfully inside his chest; he went slowly to answer it.
As the door was opened, Clark felt as if the pain-filled heart had turned over inside his chest. She was so beautiful...
“Hi,” she said, her eyes taking in everything: him, the room, him again. “I, uh... I was just...out. And I thought that maybe you...maybe we... We could talk?” There was a pause before she continued, not looking at him this time. Her voice was quiet. “I need your help, Clark.”
Clark just stared at her. He could hardly believe that she’d come to him, to his apartment, just like she used to. However, his silence appeared to worry her.
“I mean, if you’d rather not, I understand. Things are a little tense and I- Oh, this was a bad idea...”
“Lois, no! I mean, it wasn’t a bad idea,” Clark interrupted, his mind racing desperately to think of words to make her stay. “Come in, please. Sure, we can talk. I’d *love* to talk to you.”
Lois visibly relaxed and she followed him inside. “Okay. Well, it’s about Dougal; and Intergang; and Egyptian artifacts...” She had stopped and stood a little uneasily at the bottom of the steps into his apartment.
“Have a seat, Lois. Please.” Clark gestured towards the couch.
“Oh, okay.” She walked over and sat. A sigh escaped her lips. “Maybe I should just start at the beginning, huh?”
Clark sat on the couch beside her, leaving as much space as possible between them so that Lois wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. “Start wherever you like.” He watched her, waiting.
And then the entire story came tumbling out. Halfway through, Lois stood and began pacing the room in her agitated state. Clark remained in his seat, waiting patiently.
“-and he said that he’d take care of it – of me! – before the next shipment came in. On top of everything else, they’re after me as well, Clark. They-” She stopped abruptly. As her pacing took her closer to Clark’s dining table, Lois’ eye caught a glimpse of a familiar name on a piece of paper: her name. “What’s this?” she asked quizzically, picking the paper up and beginning to read.
Clark leapt up at the sight of the forgotten letter. “Lois, no! I-” But he knew it was too late as her troubled expression changed to one of surprise. She glanced up, looked at him intently and then returned her attention to the words on the page. He wondered what she was thinking.
Clark knew when she was finished: her eyes closed briefly and then opened again. She raised her gaze to his and stared.
“I, uh...well, I mean, it’s not finished and I-I wasn’t sure if...” He trailed off, realising that his hands were waving wildly as he talked, something more akin to Lois’ personality than his own. He stopped and shoved the offending appendages into his pockets. Never once did his gaze break hers.
Near silence reigned in the apartment as neither spoke for a few minutes. Lois was leaning against the tabletop, watching him. She was the first to sever the stillness that surrounded them.
“Did you mean it?” she enquired, her voice soft and hesitant. The expression upon her face was hard to make out.
“The letter?” Clark immediately chastised himself inwardly. ‘Of course the letter, you idiot! What else would she be meaning right now?’
“Yes,” Lois’ voice remained at the same timbre, but Clark heard her heart beat speed up. “What you said about not running away anymore…did you mean that part?”
“Yes,” Clark confirmed. He was positive about that, especially now.
“And the part about being scared; what about that?” Clark saw Lois lick her lips and he knew she was nervous.
“Lois, I was absolutely petrified.” Clark tentatively took a step closer to her. He whispered an amendment to this under his breath: “I still am.” It was only as the look on Lois’ face changed that he realised she’d heard this last pronouncement.
“Why are you still scared, Clark?” Lois also took a step towards him, her gaze back to being inscrutable. “What’s got you so frightened?”
Clark took a deep breath. “Y-you,” he said.
Lois took another step towards Clark. “Am I really that scary?” She attempted to make light of the situation, giving him a small smile.
Clark forced a tense smile in her direction. “It’s more the thought that you’re going to walk out of here again tonight and leave me broken-hearted – forever this time. Because I very much doubt I would ever fully get over you, Lois Lane.”
She was now less than a metre away from him. He could feel the heat radiating from her body and sense the tension in her muscles. It calmed him a little that she seemed as nervous as he was.
“What if I promised you I wouldn’t run away either?” she began, her voice shaky. “What then?”
“Then...” Clark trailed off, his mind racing at what he was hearing.
“Yes?”
Clark continued, his voice just as shaky as Lois’. “Then I suppose that would mean you were finished being mad at me...maybe?”
“That I’d forgiven you; seen your side of the story?” She stepped closer once more.
“Yeah.” Clark gulped as her hand brushed against his. Timidly he reached for that hand, giving her the opportunity to pull away if she wanted to: she didn’t take her hand from his.
Lois looked up at him from underneath her long lashes, and spoke again, her voice sounding more confident this time. “You know, I’d decided that I needed your help on this story, but I also had every intention of letting you know that in terms of *us*, I still needed some time.”
“And now?” Clark put the question to her carefully, wanting her to continue but worried he was going to push too hard. He couldn’t lose her again.
“Now...I’ve read your letter. I don’t think I ever really tried to understand how you were feeling; what prompted you to keep this all from me in the first place. I mean, there was a moment there after reading that note, but I guess in my anger I just pushed that aside and assumed it was all lack of trust. And that made me more mad.” Clark began to say something, but Lois held up a hand. “No, please, let me finish, Clark.” He closed his mouth and nodded. “What you said about being scared you’d lose me...I get that. I do. I don’t think I could handle losing you either. I...”
For a moment she was quiet and Clark noticed that she was struggling against tears. Still hesitant to push, he merely rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb as he tried to show his support; he knew that he needed to let her continue her train of thought before he spoke, however much he might like to say.
Finally Lois started to speak again. “Clark, I guess what I’m trying to say is...I-I love you. No matter what, I can’t just turn that feeling off. I might want to sometimes, to stop the pain. But it doesn’t work that way.”
“Oh, Lois...” Clark said, his voice husky with unshed tears of his own. “I love you too.”
It was Lois’ turn to swallow hard as she tried yet again to hold back her tears; this time she couldn’t stop them from spilling over. Clark brought up his other hand to gently wipe away each tear as it fell.
“Clark, I-I missed you *so* much. I was mad at you, but after a day or so that went away. I-I...I was just hurt. But I still couldn’t help missing you; missing what we had.” Lois paused to take a few deep, shuddering breaths. “I was trying so hard to stay mad at you, but I couldn’t. And that letter of yours, w-well...” She laughed a little through her tears. “That didn’t help much. It forced me to understand how you’d been feeling.”
“And that’s...a good thing?”
Lois laughed again. “Yes.” A slight frown overtook her features. “You still should have told me, you know.”
“I know,” Clark looked ashamed. “Can I say I’m sorry one more time?”
Lois glanced down. “It’s just... Clark, I want this again: this relationship, you and me.” She gazed at Clark’s face as it lit up. “B-but I need to take things slowly for a while... Can you handle that?”
“Lois, I will do *anything* to have you back in my life.” The glow upon Clark’s face didn’t dim as he spoke so earnestly. “If I had to endure the agony of Kryptonite a thousand times over, I would do it all gladly just to have the chance to love you.”
Lois felt the tears well up again at Clark’s words. She launched herself into his arms and wrapped her own around him tightly.
“Hey, I thought you wanted to take this slowly?” he teased, holding her close.
“This is slowly, you idiot,” she replied, her voice muffled by his T-shirt. “Oh, I missed this...”
“I missed you.”
*****
Some hours later, after much discussion and some arguing – most of it on Lois’ part – Clark stretched and yawned.
“It’s getting late,” he observed, looking at the nearest clock. “Can I... Would it be alright if I walked you home?”
His voice still sounded a little uncertain, but Lois was quick to reassure him. “Clark, of course you can. Actually,” here she grimaced, “I’d appreciate it. After all, what goon, including Dougal, is going to try and off me with Superman as my bodyguard?”
“Ahh, but Lois, you forget...they don’t know I’m Superman,” Clark pointed out with a slight smile. “That knowledge is reserved for you and you only.”
“Apart from your parents,” corrected Lois.
“Apart from my parents,” Clark conceded, his smile widening. “But you are one lucky woman, Lois Lane.”
“In more ways than one,” Lois grinned, relieved to be sliding back into their old banter so easily. But she quickly became serious. “Now, tomorrow you realise we’ll have to act as if nothing’s happened? Not between us I mean... Between Dougal and me. Because Dougal doesn’t know that anything’s happened...only I do. Now why does that sound so complicated?”
“Because it is?” Clark shrugged. “Don’t worry, Lois. I’ll start calling some people while I’m at work tomorrow; Dougal won’t suspect me of involvement just yet. You just pretend you’re working on small stories. Ones that don’t require a partner.”
“That shouldn’t be hard,” said Lois. “I’ve got plenty of those stored up that Perry’s been giving me over the past few weeks. They were little fluff pieces that didn’t have much of a deadline. Perry will be surprised to suddenly receive an avalanche of them to print, that’s for sure!”
“Do you think we ought to tell him what’s going on? Tell him about Dougal and Intergang I mean?” Clark looked worried.
Lois was quiet for a moment as she thought. “Do you know,” she finally said, “I’ve been thinking about the same thing. But the conclusion I’ve come to for now is that we shouldn’t tell him; not just yet.”
“Okay, I’m with you on that,” said Clark. “Not yet.”
Changing the subject quickly, Lois took Clark’s arm. “So partner,” she said leading him towards the door, “what were you saying about walking me home?”
To be continued...in Part 5.
~Anna.
