Ugh, Nancy, this story is beginning to feel a little like Romeo and Juliet. No, not like Romeo and Juliet, because Zared's family is certainly not against Zared's relationship with Jenni. No, it's more like... the Frog Prince, where the girl's father learns that his daughter has kissed the frog and because of that, she is now pregnant. Of course all respectable citizens will share the girls' father's horror at this unnatural liaison. Of course they will sympathize with the father when he's thinking like this:
"We'll see. It's unlikely the baby will survive. That *would* be best." He seemed emotionless. Danny's thoughts were grim. I hope the baby dies. Then I will remove Zared from Jenni's life.
And Jenni's father is this angry even though he doesn't even realize that Zared
is the Frog Prince yet! Oh, wow!
(Byt he way, that was an incredibly tense moment, when that doctor started describing Jenni's injuries to Zared and Jenni's father and said that the baby seemed to be unhurt. But Jenni's father hadn't been told yet that Jenni was pregnant.)
You said you worked in the medical profession - I don't remember, are you a nurse? - and I guess you must have come across other fathers like Jenni's. Fathers, particularly single fathers, whose worlds get turned upside down when they learn that their little girl is pregnant, and who find solace in the thought that their daughter must have been basically raped. That she must have been blameless, and that her boyfriend must have forced her.
I was wondering - would the American legal system in particular and the larger American society in general support a father who tried to prevent his almost 18-year-old daughter from seeing the boyfriend who had made her pregnant? In Sweden, both the legal system and the larger society would definitely have been on the girl's side in a case like this.
(Before we leave the matter of Jenni's father, I think you shouldn't assume that everybody remembers that his name is Danny. When we first meet him in this chapter, you might call him "Danny, Jenni's father" or something.)
I think you put your medical knowledge to good use in this chapter. Usually, when someone is shot in fanfiction, the person either dies straight away or else survives and is not that much worse for wear. I appreciate how you describe Jenni's serious injuries, which could luckily be treated so that they are no longer life-threatening, and I believe she will basically recover. I also appreciate how you describe how seriously affected Superman is by those Kryptonite bullets. His health actually seems to be taking a turn for the worse in this chapter.
I'm also touched by how concerned Clark is about Zared. And of course, there is the question of what will follow from Zared's revelation of his powers. There are many reasons to look forward to the rest of this story!
Ann
