Single (mother)
Hi peixinho!
You're minding your own business at a pub. A suspiciously handsome stranger decides to approach you. You fall back on the classic "I have a son" excuse. It works, as always, and he walks away. Right? ...Right?
Now, from the summary, I can only subsume that this is Lois who got pregnant with Clark’s love child and now meets Clark again without realizing it. Also, “the classic excuse”?
started writing it as a way to practice my third-person omniscient narration, which had gotten rusty.
Always a good reason to produce fic!
But in the end, I had a lot of fun writing it! I hope you enjoy it too.
Two more good reasons for writing fic!
And there, three tables away from the door, the Lane sisters were celebrating Lois's latest breakup.
Great atmosphere bit. Also, “celebrating Lois’s latest breakup?”
Lucy, however, was so happy to be rid of her sister’s ex that she had insisted they go out.
A sickly manchild who always talked about how he had to “help mother with her candy”?
"To Mitchell!" Lucy raised her beer in a toast.
Season One. And am trying to remember if it was you who asked about Lois’s Pilot boyfriend on Discord.
After all, she had a tendency to like everyone, especially men, and especially men who wanted to date her older sister.
You do realize, this could be read two ways, don’t you?
and on that same day she had ended everything over the phone before going to work. There was no reason to postpone something like that; besides, she thought she had even done him a favor by waking him up early.
She’s so… considerate!
I'll ask for a boyfriend who isn't a hypochondriac for Christmas this year,"
She should be careful what she wishes for. Although, it could explain the sudden influx of three men in her life, all strapping healthy bachelors or marriageable age or wealth.
"That's after asking for another Kerth, five new pairs of heels, a year's supply of free Rocky Road, a massage chair, and a trip to Tahiti, of course,"
Her new boyfriend will take the Kerth, the heels she will get reimbursed as a work expenditure when she breaks the previous pair, Rocky Road might be difficult, maybe her boyfriend will bring it so she stops being mad at him, and when that doesn’t work, he’ll fly her to Tahiti.
"Yeah, the Daily Planet! I've told you a million times, but you do know you can't marry your job, right?"
That’s … well, I’m sure Lois will find a way.
CLARK:
"And you do know that someone who swaps boyfriends every two weeks is the last person who can give advice on marriage, right?"
Lucy has to! There’s a two-week return policy in catalog shopping.
As far as she was concerned, Perry White's speech when he banned her from setting foot in the newsroom for three days had been more than enough. Earlier that same Thursday, he had stated categorically that she was addicted to work and had given her Friday, Saturday, and Sunday off.
Couldn’t she take a walk through Suicide Slum, wait until she’s lo-napped and then accidentally uncovers a new story for her to write?
These editors don't know what they want, she reflected. If we try too little, they complain. If we try too hard, they complain too. Will they ever be satisfied?
Only when she marries her work partner. Unless he fears that Lois will blow up that relationship and drive her work partner into the arms of the Metropolis Star.
As a result, Clark was stuck at the Apollo Hotel, and his terrible room forced him to spend as much time as possible outside of it.
They do have wonderful Cat houses in Metropolis. I’m sure they’re better furnished than the Apollo.
Well, it is curling, Clark concluded, correctly assuming that the cheerful patrons who were now jumping up and clapping had no idea what the game was about.
I recommend MLT’s Rocks, Rings and Hammers for a quick bite of fun
and restrained herself from asking if the strange man's chin was made of steel.
It’s what the boxing champion thought when they had their match in Requiem.
"What are you staring at?" Lois wanted to know, narrowing her eyes at her younger sister.
Someone found a target for matchmaking?
If she was right — and she thought she was — the handsome stranger would soon make an attempt to become her brother-in-law, and she had to pave the way.
Well?" Lucy pressed, practically singing it.
"He's a fine specimen of the male species. Objectively speaking."
Lois!
It was as if it had been made to enchant him, the way a siren would a sailor.
It’s nature’s way to ensure he hears her cries for help over the din of the big city, thus ensuring the survival of the female Kerth Winning Reporter.
After all, Metropolis wasn't Smallville, where everyone ran into each other at the town square; they might very well never see each other again.
Of course, that still didn't mean she was available.
Yes, she’s in a very committed relationship with her next headline.
But he had caught her staring at him just moments ago. That might mean something, right?
Handsome stranger at a bar; must be a criminal planning a heist.
The older Lane shrugged. "So, shall we get going? I'm not working tomorrow, but that doesn't mean I don't have laundry to do."
Wait, is tomorrow the day of the interview?
"I was on the chess club, Lucy. The checkers club was our arch-enemy," Lois replied,
To be fair, they were playing checkers while Lois was playing chess
And there we have it, Lois thought. "Sorry to disappoint you," she interrupted, "but I have a son."
It was advertised, but the whole feeling, it just didn’t feel like it. Also, how little time does Lois actually spend with her kid if she’s such a workaholic? Or is that actually just a ruse?
What the hell are you doing? Lucy's eyes went wide.
Could it really be a ruse?
How was it possible that extreme intelligence and extreme stupidity could coexist in one person?
She’s just...blind?
"I'm sorry," said Clark, taken aback, after a brief moment of silence. "I didn't see a wedding ring, so I assumed you might be single," he explained.
Ah, yes. She’s either married or one of the fallen women his teacher warned him about when he went to school in Hicksville, Kansas.
It only occurred to her too late that, for her purposes, staying quiet would have been the smarter option.
No, he might have asked her what she was doing, flirting with Lex Luthor while she had a husband back home taking care of their son.
Or is he crazy? Aren't men supposed to run away at this part?
"Like I said, I'm single. I'm a single mother," she emphasized.
"Okay."
I think she needs to explain a bit more in detail. Perhaps some pictographs to assist the story telling?
Or maybe he's just stupid and doesn't understand what I'm saying, Lois guessed. Better to help him out. "I have a son."
Most cute!
"I don't have time to date. My son needs me, and I have to give him all my attention."
Now, *that’s* a bold-faced lie.
Lucy, who was watching the exchange in awe, felt that this was the perfect moment to interrupt. "Lois, you're making it sound like I don't enjoy spending time with my nephew!
He's ten years old already, he doesn't need you that much anymore."
Now, Lucy, that means Lois got pregnant quite early in high school. Probably by the president of the chess club. /inserts picture of Lois, subtitled “Metropolis High School, Chess Club, President”/
"Besides," she continued, "arguing that single mothers shouldn't have romantic experiences anymore so they can live for their children doesn't seem very feminist to me. I'm disappointed you'd think something like that!" Lucy turned to Clark before any venomous words could escape her sister's already open mouth. "What do you say, Mr. Kent?"
I’d say the younger Lane sister is most evil.
"And being a woman necessarily carries a romantic or sexual meaning for you, Mr. Kent?" Lois inquired, eyebrows raised.
Lucy rolled her eyes. What a difficult woman.
Most cute wordplay!
"Well then, Miss Lois, if you analyze what I said without an accusatory bias," he emphasized, "you'll realize that's not what I said at all."
Wow, he did not just call an award-winning journalist *biased*, did he?
"I have complete faith in your interpretive abilities, Lois."
"Yes! You did it!" celebrated another member of the group of drunk curling fans.
Fun how you use the background shouting to underscore certain points in the tale-telling.
For instance, the possibility of becoming father figures to their children." There. That'll definitely scare him off.
Uh-huh. You know, it would have been so much easier to fake a date with her sister than explaining she has a son.
LOIS: No, that would have just been a challenge to him.
"Are we talking about most men, Lois? I thought I was only advocating for my invitation. Don't get me wrong, but I'm not exactly interested in defending your other suitors."
"F"Forgive me, what's your son's name?"
"It's, um, Lane."
orgive me, what's your son's name?"
"It's, um, Lane."
Lane Lane. Huh. Now that’s gonna be an issue in school. Also, she’s gonna have quite a hard time explaining her fake story to him.
LOIS: I was doing field-research for my next article on single white female mothers dating.
"Lane is ten years old, isn't he?
He’s actually listening and incorporating the learned information. That’s not good. That’s not good at all. Run, Lois! Run!
Maybe I could take him to a Metros versus Lizards game, teach him how to take care of a garden, and also accompany him and his friends to an arcade."
Because of the riots that usually break out toward the end of the game. There’s no green in Metropolis. And the older man taking a bunch of ten-year-old boys out for ice cream, yeah, like *that’s* not gonna fetch an interested eye or two from the mall cops.
For Lois, that was the last straw. "What? You are not going out with my son!", she said, momentarily forgetting she didn't have a son. "I don't even know you!"
Thank you for confirming. Also, this now screams for Mxysptlk creating a ten-year-old son for Lois.
"You're right. You don't know me." Clark flashed a bright, victorious, almost innocent smile. "That's why I asked you out."
"It's over! He won!" shouted another of the drunks.
Very clever device you employ. Very clever indeed.
Lucy had her hands over her mouth, hiding a smile. Her future brother-in-law wasn't just handsome and smart but also very brave, she decided.
Lois tossed it into her bag so fast the movement could barely be seen beyond a blur. Then, in another sudden and swift motion, the older Lane stood up, grabbed her coat from the back of the chair, flipped her hair over her shoulders, and marched towards the door.
This is such a marvelous mix of practicality and disdain.
Clark didn't know if fury had ever been a good omen for a romantic date, but from what little he'd gotten to know of Lois, it didn't seem impossible to imagine.
Sparks will fly?
"She doesn't have a son at all. It's just a man-repellent tactic she uses every now and then.
You know how it is, sometimes lying about having a boyfriend doesn't work, because actually some men get even more determined to—" A car horn blared repeatedly. "I have to go! See you!"
Lois is getting impatient!
the waitress waved in front of his face again, this time to ask if it was okay that the hot apple cider he'd ordered didn't have cinnamon. Apparently, the pub's owner had reserved the entire stock to start making Christmas recipes.
Doesn’t matter. Christmas came early this year. And a very well-delivered final punch line
Enjoyed Lucy being the matchmaker
Michael
