Hi 90stvfangirl!
“So? It’s a late birthday present, or a really early one.”
Isn’t Lois the most cute?
CLARK: Yes, of course. But still, not my birthday!
KYLE GRIFFIN: /ties Lois up with a large red bow on top and little else/
CLARK: Still not my birthday. Also, inappropriate!
She sounded exasperated now. “I’m trying to do something nice, Clark. Just open it, okay?”
“A gift certificate…?”
“Yes!” Lois jumped up from her seated position and slapped him on the back. “To learn Taekwondo!"
Oh, so her dojo has a sign-up week and Lois wants to get the three-months-discount when she brings on a new member?
“Clark, you were kidnapped by a cyborg two days ago. Right in front of me, on the street! You couldn’t even defend yourself!”
Oh. Right. Duh!
CLARK: But how does Taekwondo help against Kryptonite?
“Yeah, but that…” he trailed off. He couldn’t tell her about the kryptonite weakening him.
See?
A couple of moves and it won’t matter how strong your opponent is.”
Maybe if she demonstrated with Superman?
“Please Clark! Look…” she sat back down on his desk and leaned in close to him.
Look at all the deflated air of exuberance. Poor thing is scared for her partner’s safety!
“Well, I realized, if something ever happened to you, I’d be…” Her voice trembled a little and she looked away from him.
All alone with Jimmy and Perry and Superman.
“Lois…” His hand came out to brush against her knee. She looked down at his hand and he quickly removed it.
This and the perfume earlier
“Nothing’s going to happen to me. I promise.”
She sat up straighter and her eyes narrowed. “Oh yeah? Let’s see…” Pulling a folded up piece of paper out of her pocket, she carefully unfolded it and cleared her throat.
She made a list! Good thing Clark doesn’t have a list of the times she was in danger herself.
“Pushed out of a plane. Amnesia. Kidnapped and almost killed by a government agent. Had your apartment broken into. Almost run over by a car–”
Umm…
LOIS: /points at season counter/ No amnesia yet. Not even once.
He got better!
“Temporarily died,” he countered.
:rotfol: See?
She pushed the paper into his hand, her eyes flashing. “This isn’t a joke!”
/points at laughing audience/
“I promise I’ll be more careful in the future, alright?”
Lois’s expression turned dark and she slid off his desk once again and snatched her note from his hands. “You want to keep being a danger magnet, that’s fine with me!”
It’s so cute, you doing a gender bender
Clark sat in stunned silence. Danger magnet? Lois ‘danger is my middle name’ Lane was accusing him of being a danger magnet?
/points to above statement/
She couldn’t be serious! As Superman he had saved her from the dangling jaws of death on almost a weekly basis.
What Superman does in his spare time should be used to incriminate Lois Lane. Didn’t you learn nothing during Sex Lies and Videotape?
She’d been thrown off buildings. Kidnapped. Almost suffocated. Tossed in the river. Tied up. Beat up. Almost blown up.
And that was just last week.
“Danger magnet…” Clark muttered, reaching for his notepad.
It’s not her fault that criminals like her for their nefarious plans! You can’t fault the Mona Lisa for getting stolen, either.
An hour later Clark put his pen down and flicked through his notepad. He had filled fourteen pages. Fourteen pages full of Lois Lane’s near death experiences.
How she had managed to remain alive before Superman’s arrival was beyond him.
They got a set of replacement Loises in the basement. If they don’t start using one again and soon, they’ll go bad.
Lois let out a sigh. “Just Lucy. Upset about Corben. I wish I knew what to say to her.”
There’s many more possible boyfriends on the streets. Some might even hold down legitimate jobs.
I think we both could stand to be a little more careful in some situations, don’t you? Maybe instead of Taekwondo… we could do something else together.”
Like, practicing sticking close to one another? Also, if Lois hadn’t used the birthday present excuse, she might have been able to trick him. Still, very clever and insightful thing setup
She looked away from him. “I was just going to ask if I could have the gift certificate back, that’s all.”
“For Lucy. God knows she needs something to focus on. And it might help her ward off the creeps in this town.”
I did not see that one coming
“Wanna get lunch?”
Lois jumped from her seat. “Sure.” She grabbed her purse and they headed toward the elevators.
“Hey Clark, have you ever tried Krav Maga?”
/waits to see if this is a ‘food’ joke or if Clark will roll with the tangent/
He did fingerbox that one time.
“Do you even go to the gym?”
Keeping up with Lois is all the exercise he needs.
Protective Lois was very cute! And while Clark’s aware of his attraction to Lois, she’s perfectly oblivious of her own as is Clark.
Michael
