Ann, I would like to take issue with some of the things you wrote in your very eloquent post. This is an excellent presentation of the viewpoint that Clark should share his secret with Lois early in their relationship, as soon as he feels he can trust her.
But when does that point come? In S1, she treats him like dirt, complains about being saddled with a hack from Nowhereseville, steals his story, complains to Perry about Clark lying to her (but excuses her lies to him), and agrees to marry Lex Luthor after rejecting Clark in favor of Superman, not to mention refusing to believe Clark's assertions that Lex is a criminal. My question would be, why should he trust her at all? She's not exactly the ideal person to carry such a terrible secret, at least not at this point in their relationship.
I will agree with you that Clark should have shared the secret before asking her to marry him, but even then he wasn't completely, absolutely sure she loved him as much as he loved her. If you tell someone a secret, you give that person power over you, power that increases proportionally with your need to keep the secret from spreading.
We have to remember that this secret includes Clark's parents, as well, because if anyone with evil intent learned of Superman's civilian identity, their lives would be forfeit. Maybe Clark could save them before they were killed, but they'd never again be able to be Jonathan and Martha Kent.
And don't forget Jonathan's "dissect you like a frog" speech, repeated over and over to a growing teenager already out of step with society because of his amazing differences. Such strong opinions directed to an adolescent would affect that young person's mind for the rest of his or her life. Clark's natural inclinations to help with his powers and strongly perceived need to keep them a secret had to have been almost psychosis-inducing, and having Superman as the convenient public persona is a tremendous emotional release.
I understand your desire for Clark to be honest with Lois, but let's not forget all the factors involved. We're not talking about a man who's hiding a past marriage or a jail term or a bankruptcy. This is immense! Can Lois be trusted with something that huge, and if so, how can he tell? Can Clark keep his parents safe if he tells her? For that matter, can he keep Lois safe if she knows? It's not a simple decision.
Having said this, I enjoy reading your posts, Ann. Even though I don't always agree with your viewpoint, you always present yourself with intelligence and reason and you don't make personal attacks. I respect you and what you write, and I hope you accept this in the spirit of peaceful disagreement, because that's how I wanted to present it.
Merry Christmas to all FOLCs! And may the new year bring more angst, WAFFiness, and intelligent discussions.
