...and one more last minute rant.....
my family has a hang up with presents. we're all in our 30s-early 40s. you'd think we'd have figured this out.
gift giving at christmas is supposed to be fun and spontaneous. it shouldn't be a massive list of brothers, sisters, parents, uncles, aunts, cousins, nephews, nieces, god-children, dogs, cats, and fish. if your brother is married with three kids ages 7, 9, and 10, and having christmas at their house with just them, and enjoying it very much, and they are now their own little family unit,
you shouldn't feel obliged to get them presents. and if you do, you do it just because "oh, I found the most
adorable little christmas dress for little jenny!" or something. Instead, we write out these massive lists---and when one marries, one now has TWO massive lists of people to search out presents for, your own family and your new in-laws---and trudge all over town grumbling and annoying the nice shop people just because somewhere in the back of our bloody supid brains is carved the maxim
THOU SHALT GET PRESENTS FOR EVERYONE . this is stupid. get presents for whoever you think to get presents for, whoever you find the perfect gift for, or for whomever you are most closely in tune with the needs of. (? did i say that right? try again....) if there's someone you seem to know 3,000 little presents to get them, then by all means get them! so maybe one year your older sister might not get one, and the next year they might get three. and then for the next four years they might not get anything, and then the next year they get two. whatever. presents are not a MUST, they should not be a grumbling tedium that you force on yourself, because YOU are the only one doing the forcing. they should be spontaneous, joyful, and stress free. we all say (and when I say "we", I mean my family) that the whole point of the season is not presents, its a birthday party for a baby boy, but we really don't seem to put our money where our mouths are on that.
so they're pressing "picking names", putting everyone's names in a hat, drawing names, and get presents for just that person. I see this as artificial and constricting, turning what is supposed to be a small, incidental, spontaneous, and fun thing (the giving of gifts) into an artificial thing. "here's my shopping list, now go get this stuff for me". what if I get so-and-so's name, but when I'm out shopping, I see the perfect gift for such-and-such? they complain that they have too many people to buy for. "well, I still have to get presents for
you guys, but now that I'm married, I have to buy presents for
his family,
too." so what's wrong with that? "well, they buy for all of the aunts and uncles and nephews and nieces as well, and that's too much money!
1. tell the aunts and uncles that they are adults, and they have families of their own, including some grandkids, and presents at christmas are no longer a priority in their lives.
2. Tell the nieces and nephews that the presents are going to be few and far between, if at all, because they have their siblings and their parents, they are a family unit, and they can take care of themselves.
2. too much money? you make close to $150,000 as a couple, with no major debts, and you are living in an area that has a low cost of living! and if you can't afford it,
then adjust your budget accordingly. put a $15 or $20 limit on the presents, if you insist on buying for so many!
grrrrr..... I'm sure there's more, but I'm ranted out for the moment. i sez screw the rest of 'em, i'm buyin' my OWN presents for ME.
