Caroline,
I don't think being in love with someone excuses spying or eavesdropping. How is Clark using his abilities to listen in on Lois's conversations any different from Luthor recording her conversations in BatP/HoL? Luthor claimed to love her deeply and passionately, too, and he probably believed he was looking out for her best interests, but I don't think that makes his eavesdropping right or excusable.
Really? Clark knows that Luthor is a murderous megalomanic sociopath and have every reason to believe that the marriage is something that Lois would bitterly regret. Should he really respect their privacy to that degree if he loves her? Sure he has a personal stake, but to me he seemed to look for a way out as much for Lois as himself. Remember that he knows that Lois his for the taking, if he is willing to pay the price. He didn’t hang outside the window when she was seeing Scardino did he?
And in WWW he had tried to get in touch with Lois all night, saw Scardino, didn’t want to show himself and left. I’ never saw that as stalkerish in the least. Rather the opposite in fact.
The pilot scene is difficult to defend though, even if he wanted to see that she had gotten home safely, it doesn't seem like he needed to hang outside her window. Well, it didn’t look like he was peering through the wall at least. :p
