To pop everything into place... use Courier 10 (or 10 characters per inch) set top margin at 0.5", bottom margin at 0.5" (or minimums) left margin at 1" & right margin at 1" for pages---BEFORE TEASE Page For TEASE Page and after, left margin at 0.8 and right margin at .25 (or minimum) (I had to tell the program that my primitive printer was using legal-size paper) * and (X) used in script probably mean "this line changed from previous version" Notes: Cover: "Whine, Whine, Whine" Written by Kathy McCormick & John McNamara [and] Directed by Michael Watkins are all in large bolt print. WARNER BROTHERS TELEVISION is in an Ariel-type font. The remainder of the text is in Courier 10 (10 characters per inch) Notes: Page 11.-12, the "-12." is typed in a different font, a very last-minute change? Typos noted: Page 37, first full line, at the end, "she" should be capitalized, isn't in original Page 55, near bottom, descriptive phrase: "She stops. So does she." I suspect this should have been "So does he." --page break-- graphic (see script.bmp) "Whine, Whine, Whine" EPISODE TWENTY-ONE Prod. #456471 Written by Kathy McCormick & John McNamara Directed by Michael Watkins WARNER BROS. TELEVISION _Production Draft_ March 22, 1995 FULL Blue 3/24/95 Pink Rev. 3/28/95 Yellow R. 3/28/95 Green R. 3/29/95 Gold Rev. 3/30/95 White R. 3/30/95 Blue Blue 4/4/95 --page break-- _LOIS & CLARK_ "_Whine, Whine, Whine_" Green Rev. 3/29/95 _CAST_ CLARK KENT/SUPERMAN LOIS LANE JIMMY OLSEN PERRY WHITE MARTHA KENT JONATHAN KENT ________________________________________________________________ CALVIN DREGG ELISE CARR DAN SCARDINO BILL CHURCH, JR. CONSTANCE HUNTER CHARLES KNOX BOBBY BIGMOUTH DR. FRISKIN MARLIN PFINCH-LUPUS BARRY BARKER MA BARKER SHARPIE LAWYER SMILER LAWYER PRO LAWYER ANTONIO ORTEGA LITTLE GIRL ASSASSIN * JUDGE --page break-- _LOIS & CLARK_ "_Whine, Whine, Whine_" Green Rev. 3/29/95 _LOCATIONS_ _INTERIORS_: _EXTERIORS_: Daily Planet Daily Planet Newsroom Street Fair Band Stand Clark's Apartment Hospital Lois' Apartment Calvin's House * Dr. Friskin's Office Sidewalk Cafe Barry Barker's Office Metropolis Street Constance Hunter's office Clark's Apartment Court House Room Lois' Apartment Hall Anteroom Metropolis Street Limo Courthouse Park Dark Hallway Elevator --page break-- _LOIS & CLARK_ "_Whine, Whine, Whine_" Green Rev. 3/29/95 _CHRONOLOGY_ SC. 1 - 8 DAY 1 SC. 9 - 10 NIGHT 1 SC. 11 - 19 DAY 2 SC. 20 - 32 NIGHT 2 SC. 33 - 46 DAY 3 SC. 47 - 50 NIGHT 3 SC. 51 - 58 DAY 4 SC. 59 - 87 NIGHT 4 SC. 88 - 101 DAY 5 SC. 102 - 106 NIGHT 5 --page break-- _LOIS AND CLARK_ _The New Adventures Of Superman_ "Whine, Whine, Whine" _TEASER_ FADE IN: 1 EXT. STREET - DAY #1 1 We're on the street outside the Daily Planet. The street's been closed off to vehicular traffic because there's a street fair going on. It's a Daily Planet-sponsored charity fund raiser. We find LOIS and CLARK at a cotton candy stand. Clark pays for two cotton candies, hands one to Lois, who looks at it askance. LOIS My parents wouldn't let me have these. CLARK Ever? You've never had cotton candy? They're moving now, walking slowly along the line of booths and attractions. Beyond them is a bandstand. No musicians yet; workmen are setting up the amps and the large instruments. LOIS (quoting her father) 'The girl's hyperactive enough, Ellen. Don't feed her dyed (X) sugar.' (grins engagingly) (X) I eat cotton candy every chance I (X) get. (X) They come into range of JIMMY. JIMMY Step right up, folks. One dollar, one measly dollar to learn your future. Madame Blavatsky knows all, sees all, tells all. LOIS (ragging him) How much of my dollar goes to charity? (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Pink Rev. 3/28/95 1A. 1 CONTINUED: 1 JIMMY One hundred percent, one hundred pennies of your dollar will go to charity. Madame Blavatsky's heart is as big as -- (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 2. 1 CONTINUED: 1 From inside the tent: PERRY (O.S.) Olsen! JIMMY -- her voice. PERRY (O.S.) Is that Lois I hear? PERRY, aka Madame Blavatsky, sticks his head out of the tent opening. Makeup, diaphanous scarves. He holds up one hand, from which garishly colored fake fingernails dangle. PERRY (CONT'D) (to Lois) How do you keep these things from falling off? Why in thunder do you women do this to yourselves? He disappears back into the tent. Lois hands her cotton candy to Clark. LOIS You'll be here when I come back out, right? You're not having a sudden urge to return a video or put money in the meter or buy new shoelaces, are you? PERRY (O.S.) Lois! Get in here! Lois disappears into the tent to deal with the peevish Madame Blavatsky's fingernails. Clark and Jimmy gaze silently at the closed tent flap, then Jimmy grabs Clark's arm and gets intense: JIMMY (softly) This is your idea of a date? You think Scardino takes her to silly street fairs and buys her cotton candy? CLARK I don't care what Scardino does. DAN SCARDINO has come up behind them. DAN Hi, guys. They turn. (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 3. 1 CONTINUED: 2 1 DAN (CONT'D) Lois around? He and Clark square off. CLARK (to Dan) She's with me. Clark looks kind of silly standing there holding two cotton candies. Dan smiles. He _likes_ competition. DAN Yeah? CLARK Yeah. They're sort of nose to nose. At this moment Lois emerges from the tent, stops on seeing them. She looks from one to the other of them. DAN Like a date? CLARK Yeah. Like a date. Where she and I are together for a certain amount of time doing stuff with each other as a couple. Where she's with me and I'm with her. At this unfortunate moment, we HEAR: VOICE (panicky) Look out! Oh, my God! Look out! They all look in the direction of: 2 THE BANDSTAND 2 where a huge amp, elevated above the platform, is teetering, about to fall to the stage below. Directly beneath it is CALVIN DREGG, guitarist, a legend in his own mind. He has on earphones, which are connected to his electric guitar, which he's tuning. He's oblivious. 3 WITH LOIS, CLARK AND DAN 3 Lois and Dan are looking toward-the shouting. Clark slips away. --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 4. 4 AT THE BANDSTAND 4 SUPERMAN whisks Calvin Dregg out of harm's way just as the amp crashes to the stage, right where Calvin was standing. 5 BEHIND THE BANDSTAND 5 Superman floats down to the ground, sets Calvin down. Calvin seems dazed. Superman looks him over. SUPERMAN I'm glad I was nearby. He's eager to leave, but now a woman, ELISE CARR, comes running up to them. She's clearly distraught, near tears. Superman can't leave just yet. ELISE Oh, thank you, Superman. Oh, Calvin, Calvin! Thank God! Are you okay? SUPERMAN He's a little dazed, miss, but he'll be fine. Superman starts to leave again, but: CALVIN (to Superman) Fine? Fine?! (to Elise) He broke my hand, Elise! Just when I get my big break in show business, this baboon busts my hand! (to Superman) Take me to the hospital right now, I mean it! Superman blinks. Try to be nice, what does it get you? 6 WITH LOIS AND DAN 6 Lois and Dan are standing where we left them. Presumably they've been watching the drama at the bandstand. Now they turn back toward the booth. Lois registers that Clark's not there. LOIS Clark? Lois may not be pleased, but Dan is. (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 5. 6 CONTINUED: 6 DAN So now you know, Lois. LOIS Know what? DAN Just about how much you mean to Clark Kent. Off Lois' reaction -- FADE OUT. _END OF TEASER_ --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 6. _ACT ONE_ FADE IN: 7 EXT. STREET FAIR - DAY 7 Lois and Dan are sitting at a sidewalk table with the remains of a fast-food meal. They are not having fun. LOIS He probably had a good reason. DAN Sure he did. He's a wuss. (X) (off her look) I'm sorry, Lois, the guy just brings it out in me. I don't understand what you see in him. LOIS He's... nice. He's kind. He's patient... DAN I thought you were mad at him. LOIS I'm mad at both of you. DAN Me? Why me? LOIS Because you deliberately horned in on my date with Clark. Because you tried to make him look bad. DAN I didn't have to try very hard. She's on a roll. LOIS Because you think sending gifts solves everything. Because you won't talk to me about your work. DAN Whoa, Lois, you know that's not personal. He turns it back on Clark: (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Goldenrod Rev. 3/30/95 7. 7 CONTINUED: 7 DAN (CONT'D) But I'm here, and I'm here because I want to be with you whenever I can. Can you say that about Clark Kent? I mean, he's the one you had a date with. Where is he? 8 EXT. HOSPITAL - DUSK 8 Superman, Calvin and Elise exit the hospital. Calvin's wearing a cast on his hand. He's upset, and he's hogging the conversation: CALVIN (at Superman) I'm a musician, I'm an artist, I need both my hands, what would Jimi Hendrix have been with one hand? I'll tell you what: He'd have been nobody, held have been nothing, he'd have been -- ELISE Alive. You're alive, Calvin, and you're going to be fine. Calvin turns his whining invective on Elise. CALVIN You don't understand anything! You're a waitress, for God's sake! You serve slabs of dead cows to fat businessmen. You wouldn't know (X) art if it jumped up and bit your (X) kneecap! (X) Though Elise probably hears this crap seventeen times a day, it still has the power to wound. She looks like she might cry. Superman intervenes: SUPERMAN People who love each other should be kind to each other. CALVIN What are you, a greeting card on (X) steroids? You fly around putting (X) your nose into other people's (X) business. Who asked you? (X) SUPERMAN I've never been sorry I saved anyone's life, Mr. Dregg. I'd hate to start now. (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Goldenrod Rev. 3/30/95 7A. 8 CONTINUED: 8 CALVIN Why are you still here? What are you waiting for? Gratitude? You ruined my life! (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 8. 8 CONTINUED: 8 He holds up his injured hand. SUPERMAN It will heal. Elise puts a hand on Superman's arm. ELISE Please go. He won't calm down till you go. Superman is conflicted about leaving her alone with this troll. ELISE (CONT'D) I'll be okay. Really. And thank you. Superman nods and flies off. After him: CALVIN You ruined my life! 9 EXT. STREET FAIR - NIGHT #1 9 Clark appears at the street fair. It's over. There's nobody around except some workers pushing brooms and breaking down booths. 10 EXT. ANOTHER STREET - NIGHT 10 Lois and Dan, walk and talk. DAN It's not some dumb guy thing, Lois. I'm a federal agent, you're a reporter. Our professional loyalties conflict. Not to mention the fact that if you know too much about what I'm doing, you could be in danger. LOIS Oh, excuse me, and you have to protect the little woman? Dan gazes at her for a moment, then: DAN Sometimes... LOIS I don't need protection. (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Green Rev. 3/29/95 9. 10 CONTINUED: 10 DAN What do you need? ... What do you want, Lois? Off her look -- 11 INT. DR. FRISKIN'S OFFICE - DAY #2 11(X) The hyperactive Lois Lane is pacing back and forth in DR. FRISKIN's office. LOIS I want one man. One whole man. Is that so much to ask? And what do I have to choose from? There's one guy who could be really wonderful only he disappears every time I try to talk to him, and one guy who's exciting to be with only he won't talk to me about his work and what do people talk about if they can't talk about what they did all day, and one guy who's out of this world... literally. DR. FRISKIN I thought you'd given up the Superman fantasy. LOIS My head wants to. My heart is, um, conflicted. DR. FRISKIN So it would seem. Lois sits. LOIS Can we go over my options? DR. FRISKIN Well, your current options are one wonderful guy who's apparently afraid of commitment, one exciting guy who apparently wants to control the conversation, and one superhero who's apparently unattainable. Or it could be that none of them is right for you. There's silence, then: (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 10. 11 CONTINUED: 11 LOIS You know, you have this annoying habit of giving me back what I just said. Dr. Friskin smiles. DR. FRISKIN Sometimes we can't really hear what we're saying unless someone reflects it back. Lois still can't hear it. She's stuck on: LOIS They just all make me so mad! DR. FRISKIN And what do you think you might want to do about that? Off Lois' reaction... 12 INT. DAILY PLANET - DAY 12 Lois is at her desk. She's copying some names and numbers from her Rolodex when Clark comes up with two cups of coffee. He holds one out to her. She ignores it and ignores him. CLARK Lois... Jimmy's walking by. LOIS (to Jimmy) Did you hear something, Jimmy? JIMMY (stops) Like what? LOIS It sounded a little like my name. You didn't say 'Lois,' did you? Uh-oh. JIMMY I didn't. Clark did. LOIS Clark who? (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Blue Blue Rev. 4/4/95 11.-12. 12 CONTINUED: 12 CLARK Lois... LOIS There it is again. Jimmy looks from Lois to Clark and back again. Nope, this is not worth it. He moves off in a hurry. CLARK Lois... She wheels on him, overrides him: LOIS What? No, don't say a word, allow me: 'Lois, I can explain, I suddenly remembered that my mother's sister's poodle needed a haircut and so you can see why I had to leave you in the middle of a date with your thumb in your ear but I'm sure you understand.' How am I doing so far, Clark? Without waiting for an answer, she turns her back on him and dials a phone number. From a distance, Perry watches as Clark goes to his desk and sits. (X) 13 13 THRU OMITTED THRU 14 14 --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Yellow Rev. 3/28/95 13. 15 EXT. CALVIN DREGG'S HOUSE - DAY 15 Actually, it's not Calvin's house, since Calvin has no way to pay rent, since Calvin is too artistically pure to take a job for mere money. It's Elise's house. Calvin is sitting in a chair by the window, watching TV. He's suffering, and not in silence, as he scratches the itch underneath his cast with a long skinny stick. CALVIN My hand itches, Elise. And it hurts. Elise comes out the front door, dressed in a waitress uniform. 16 INSERT - TV 16 Calvin is watching the Nature Station. The host, MARLIN (X) PFINCH-LUPUS, is intoning... PFINCH-LUPUS (T.V.) ... so while the male lion basks majestically in the warm sun of the veldt, the female hunts and cares for her young... (Pfinch-Lupus will be filmed sitting in front of a blue screen. Footage to be composited behind him.) 17 BACK TO SCENE 17 Calvin sees the uniform. CALVIN You're not going to work?! What if I need something? ELISE Everything you'll need is on the coffee table, Calvin. CALVIN What if I need to write something down, like a phone message? ELISE Use your other hand. CALVIN What if I need to open a beer? ELISE Use your other hand. (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Pink Rev. 3/28/95 14. 17 CONTINUED: 17 CALVIN What if I need to go to the bathroom? She opens her mouth to say it again, but decides against it. Instead: ELISE I'm sorry, Calvin, really, you know I am, but I _have_ to go to work. She scurries out. Calvin is alone with his sour expression and his shriveled soul. From the TV he HEARS: BARRY BARKER (V.O.) Have you been injured? He whips his head toward the TV. 18 INSERT THE TV 18 where BARRY BARKER, personal injury attorney, is hawking his sleazy wares. BARRY BARKER (T.V.) You just call me, Barry Barker. on the bottom of the screen appears, 1-800-555-01-SU. (X) BARRY BARKER (CONT'D) (TV) I'll go to the mat for you! I'll sue anybody for anything! And when I say anybody, I mean _anybody_! Barry Barker is demented. 19 INT. BARRY BARKER'S OFFICE - DAY 19 BARRY BARKER, 40's, is at his desk, Calvin's across from him: BARRY BARKER Superman? Calvin nods. BARRY BARKER (CONT'D) Superman? Barry Barker is a weasel, a ferret, a toad, a snake. For a moment, we can't tell whether he's eager or reticent about taking on Superman. (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 15. 19 CONTINUED: 19 But now his eyes start to glitter, he grins and all but rubs his hands together gleefully. BARRY BARKER (CONT'D) Finally, I'll be famous! Finally, I'll get respect! Finally, women will sense my power! Calvin doesn't like the way this is going. CALVIN Excuse me. This is about me. BARRY BARKER Of course it is, my boy. I know that. I never lose sight of the true objective. He's risen from his desk and has nudged Calvin out of his chair and is now escorting him to the door as he talks. BARRY BARKER (CONT'D) I'll take your case, and it won't cost you a cent, I'll be working absolutely on contingency, forty percent of the settlement when we win. CALVIN Forty percent? BARRY BARKER Could you ask the receptionist to step in here, please? He shuts the door on Calvin, stands there with his mind racing. BARRY BARKER (CONT'D) Barry Barker versus The Man of Steel. He's a happy man. There's a timid KNOCK on the door, then it opens to reveal the RECEPTIONIST, a little old lady. BARRY BARKER (CONT'D) You'll have to work late tonight. There's a little something I need for you to do. 20 EXT. METROPOLIS - NIGHT #2 20 Superman on patrol in the skies over Metropolis. --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 16. 21 INT. BARRY BARKER'S OFFICE - NIGHT 21 Barry Barker's receptionist is standing in the open window high above the street below. Barker is holding her by the waistband. In his other hand, a legal-looking document. MA BARKER Help! It comes out weak. Barker grimaces. BARRY BARKER Louder, Mother. MA BARKER Help! Help! It's still weak. Barker loosens his grip on the waistband, and the old lady teeters, her eyes widening in terror. 22 EXT. SKIES - NIGHT 22 As Superman flies, he hears a really loud: MA BARKER (V.O.) Hellllppppp!!! Superman peels off toward the sound. 23 INT. BARRY BARKER'S OFFICE - NIGHT 23 Barker wasn't really going to let her fall. He now has a good grip on her again. BARRY BARKER Much better, Mother. Superman appears, quickly maneuvers the old lady off the ledge and back into the office. He turns a stern eye on Barry Barker. SUPERMAN What exactly do you think you're doing, sir? Barker slaps the legal document in Superman's hand. BARRY BARKER Superman, you have just been served. Off Superman's reaction FADE OUT. _END OF ACT ONE_ --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Yellow Rev. 3/28/95 17. _ACT TWO_ FADE IN: 24 INT. LOIS' APARTMENT - NIGHT 24 The TV is on, tuned to The Nature Station. (X) PFINCH-LUPUS (T.V.) ... No one knows why 90 percent of the females die before reaching reproductive maturity, but we do know that there are five male adult Namibian mud dobbers for every female, a situation that seriously complicates the mating ritual... The PHONE is RINGING, and after a moment Lois appears with a dishtowel in her hand. She picks up the receiver: LOIS Hello?... Hi, Bobby, you have what I'm looking for? 25 INT. PHONE BOOTH - NIGHT 25 BOBBY BIGMOUTH, talking into the receiver, a bunch of food on the counter. He's opening cartons as he talks. BOBBY I don't see any duck here, Lois. I wanted duck. INTERCUT AS NEEDED. LOIS I tried, Bobby. You have to order duck in advance. Bobby opens a carton, reacts. BOBBY Ooooh, Hunan beef, I love Hunan beef! He pops the piece into his mouth, chews ecstatically. BOBBY (CONT'D) Nirvana... (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Pink Rev. 3/28/95 18. 25 CONTINUED: 25 LOIS What? (X) BOBBY What you asked for. It's a code (X) name. Project Nirvana. Are you sure your boyfriend Scardino is with the DEA? LOIS He's not my boyfriend. BOBBY It's a figure of speech, Lois. According to what I'm hearing, he's not DEA, he's FDA. LOIS What? BOBBY Food and Drug Administration, Lois. He's one of the people who says 'yes' or 'no' to companies that want to market new drugs. LOIS No. You must have the wrong Scardino. BOBBY If you say so. Lois ponders it for a moment, then: LOIS What's the rest of it? BOBBY Project Nirvana is something to do with Intergang, I don't know what and I'm not sticking my neck in that noose, you didn't hear any of this from me, now we're even. At Lois' end, we hear the connection go. (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 19. 25 CONTINUED: 2 25 LOIS Hello? Hello? Bobby? The DOORBELL RINGS. Lois hangs up. LOIS (CONT'D) Who is it? DAN (O.S.) It's me, Dan. Lois opens the door. Dan's there, with a clipboard in one hand, pencil in the other. DAN Hello. I'm doing a survey of women who resent having gifts sent to them. Please answer 'true' or 'false': Wrapping paper offends me... I am psychologically unable to accept gifts... Gifts are okay, I just don't like the guy who sent then... He's being very charming, but Lois has her own agenda: LOIS It's not about gifts, Dan. It's about trust. Dan was really hoping the charm would work, but he can see it's a forlorn hope. He sighs. 26 OMITTED 26 27 INT. LOIS'S APARTMENT - NIGHT 27 A few minutes later. The TV is still on, but the sound is very low. Dan is mid-explanation: DAN ... it's not just dangerous for _you_ to know what I'm doing, it's dangerous for _me_. Lois is entering the room with a tray: coffee and cookies. As she sets it down on the coffee table: LOIS That's what I'm saying, Dan. You don't trust me. Before Dan can respond, his BEEPER GOES OFF. He unclips it, looks at the number. Lois is leaning over in front of him and can see the number. --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Green Rev. 3/29/95 20. 28 INSERT - BEEPER 28 We see the number: 800-555-0100. (X) 29 BACK TO SCENE 29 Lois looks away from the beeper as Dan looks up. She continues pouring coffee for him. Dan resumes the conversation: DAN I think you're looking for something that doesn't exist, Lois. The perfect man, the perfect relationship, the perfect life... Will you excuse me for a minute? He takes a cel phone out of his pocket and walks away to get a little privacy. DAN (CONT'D) This won't take a second. To his back: LOIS Nirvana? Dan's antennae go up. He turns. DAN What? His reaction fuels her suspicions. LOIS (innocently) The perfect life. Nirvana. Eden. Utopia. Camelot. Dan relaxes. Must've been a fluke. DAN (patiently) Yeah... Those places don't exist, Lois. The real world is what we have to deal with. And here comes the real world, Metropolis style. Superman appears at the window, behind Dan. He's holding the summons that Barry Barker served. Dan sees Lois' eyes shift to the window, and he feels the breeze. He turns. Neither he nor Superman is pleased to see the other. --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Pink Rev. 3/28/95 21. 30 INSERT - TV 30 PFINCH-LUPUS (T.V.) ... while the female _seems_ to hold the power to choose amongst the various rivals for her affections, in fact the power resides with whichever male mud dobber proves to be the most (X) ruthless gladiator... 31 BACK TO SCENE 31 LOIS (to Superman) Hi. SUPERMAN (to Lois) Could I talk to you? DAN Take a number, pal. 32 INT. LOIS' APARTMENT - NIGHT 32 A few minutes later. Dan is in the kitchen, talking softly into his cel phone. Yes, Superman _could_ tune in his superheating to overhear Dan's conversation, but he's got his own problems. Lois finishes reading the subpoena. SUPERMAN I've never been sued before. I'm not sure how to proceed. LOIS You need a lawyer. I know a guy who handles stuff like this, and he's never lost a case. During this, Dan finishes his call and returns to the living room. SUPERMAN Is he a good person? LOIS (oh, please, get real) He's a lawyer. DAN Bad for your Boy Scout image to be represented by a scuzzball? (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 22. 32 CONTINUED: 32 SUPERMAN Surely somewhere out there there's one honest lawyer. DAN I know one, for all the good it'll do you. 33 INT. CONSTANCE HUNTER'S OFFICE - DAY #3 33 Superman sits across from CONSTANCE HUNTER. She's fortyish. Her office is dark -- blinds closed, sunlight struggling to get in but losing the battle, a single desk lamp lit. Lots of law books, both current and old, line the walls. Constance is calm and focused and kind. She's listened empathetically to Superman's story, which is winding up now. SUPERMAN ... His hand will heal, and since he has no job, there's no loss of income. CONSTANCE So except for his medical bills, he has no case... SUPERMAN Yes, and I offered to pay the medical expenses. CONSTANCE What was his response? Superman smiles. SUPERMAN He seems to have only one response to everything: He complained. Constance smiles back. CONSTANCE I know the type. _They_ want, _they_ need, _they_ deserve. Nothing is ever right, and nothing is ever enough. They stand alone at the center of the universe whining for more. Their hunger is insatiable, their thirst unquenchable, their demands unappeasable... I really hate them. (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Yellow Rev. 3/28/95 23. 33 CONTINUED: 33 SUPERMAN You must be great in front of a jury... So you'll take the case? CONSTANCE No. Off Superman's reaction -- 34 INT. DAILY PLANET - DAY 34 Lois is at her desk. In front of her is a pad with a phone number written on it, a number we've seen before: 555-0373. Lois dials the number. After a couple of RINGS: PHONE VOICE (recorded) You have reached the office of Charles Knox, president of Omnicorp. Please leave your name, number and the purpose of your call. Thank you for calling Omnicorp. There's a BEEP. Lois hangs up, looks over to another part of the room, where Perry and Jimmy are watching one of several TV sets. 35 CLOSE ON A TV 35 we're watching Congress in session, but what we're HEARING is... PFINCH-LUPUS (V.O.) ... and so we see that spineless dung beetles tend toward thinly veiled power struggles, apparently having little regard for the colony as a whole... As we're HEARING this, we're PANNING over to Perry and Jimmy to find that the voice over is coming, not from C-SPAN, but from The Nature Station, which they're watching. (X) PFINCH-LUPUS (T.V.) Next we go to the fascinating Andean Nettlebug, a species with three genders; male, female and the sexless drone. The drones seem to serve a matchmaking function unique in the insect kingdom, and a thankless job it is for them... (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Pink Rev. 3/28/95 23A. 35 CONTINUED: 35 PERRY My god, look at that. PFINCH-LUPUS (T.V.) Caught between a ravenous male and a predatory female, the luckless drone can only follow its genetic program and fulfill its deplorable destiny -- Lois has come up behind them. LOIS Have you guys seen Clark today? Their attention remains on the TV. (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Green Rev. 3/29/95 24. 35 CONTINUED: 2 35 JIMMY No, and don't try to put me in the middle of anything. Lois decides not to travel down this road, whatever it is. Instead: LOIS I need some research, Jimmy. I want to know everything there is to know about Omnicorp and Charles Knox. He's the president. JIMMY Okay. LOIS (to Perry) Now I'm going out to investigate this guy who's suing Superman. PERRY Okay. Lois leaves. Jimmy and Perry remain riveted to the TV. PFINCH-LUPUS (T.V.) ... and so, the Andean nettlebug mates only once, with tragic consequences for all concerned. But the species survives and thrives, and the little newly hatched nettlebugs have no inkling of the calamitous fate that awaits them... 36 INT. CONSTANCE'S OFFICE - DAY 36 Superman and Constance. Constance is explaining. (X) CONSTANCE I don't want to be the person who (X) destroys Superman. (X) SUPERMAN Excuse me, but don't you think (X) you're being a little hyperbolic? (X) CONSTANCE No... I don't try cases anymore. (X) I gave it up because I never won. (X) I never won because I think (X) justice should be about truth, not (X) about who's the better liar. (X) (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Green Rev. 3/29/95 24A. 36 CONTINUED: 36 SUPERMAN But that's what I need: Someone (X) who understands that justice is (X) about truth. Constance gives him a pitying smile. CONSTANCE No. You need to win. Otherwise you'll spend the rest of your life in court answering to greedy plaintiffs and their noxious attorneys. Is that what you want? (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Goldenrod Rev. 3/30/95 25. 36 CONTINUED: 2 36 SUPERMAN No, of course not. CONSTANCE Then you need someone who sees an open wound and automatically reaches for the salt. You need a _real_ lawyer... I'm sorry. 37 EXT. SIDEWALK CAFE - DAY 37 Calvin is sitting at a table. He's waiting, not patiently. Lois sits down at the table next to him. Elise arrives and sits across from Calvin. CALVIN (to Elise) Did you bring it? ELISE Yes. She's reaching into her capacious bag, pulls out a Watchman TV, sets it up and turns it on. You're probably expecting The Nature Station, but: TV VOICE OVER ... Is Superman getting too big for his britches? Next on Jerry... (X) CALVIN Isn't this great, Elise? He's pumped. CALVIN (CONT'D) I'm on national TV, and Barry Barker says there's no way I can lose the case. ELISE That's wonderful, Calvin... If you win a lot of money, then can we tell people we're married? Lois reacts. Are there no depths too low for this leech? Calvin takes Elise's hand and turns on the boyish charm. For the first time we see what must've hooked Elise on the worm. (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Goldenrod Rev. 3/30/95 26. 37 CONTINUED: 37 CALVIN Absolutely, honey. You know the only reason I wanted to keep it secret was so your friends wouldn't think you'd married a bum. Blinded by love and stupidity, Elise buys it. Lois doesn't. CALVIN (CONT'D) You understand what you have to say when you're on the witness stand, don't you? Aha, so that's what it's about. Elise still doesn't see it. ELISE Yes, Calvin. Lois can hardly keep from horning in. Unfortunately for him, Clark picks this moment to arrive and sit across from Lois. CLARK Hi, Lois. Lois turns a look on him that would shrivel a lesser man. LOIS Men are pigs. Clark reacts. CLARK What? CALVIN (excited) Here it is, it's starting! Lois and Clark look over to: 38 ANGLE - THE WATCHMAN 38 where we see JERRY RETCHIN, talk show host. (This will be (X) shot outside the Daily Planet Building. Jerry is doing a (X) location show.) JERRY (T.V.) (X) Today we'll be talking to Calvin Dregg, a master guitarist on the cusp of major stardom -- until he suffered a career-ending injury at the hands of Superman. (MORE) (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Goldenrod Rev. 3/30/95 27. 38 CONTINUED: 38 JERRY (T.V.) (CONT'D) (X) Yes, folks, Superman. Is The Man of Steel the Champion of Justice, or is he just a bully in a cape? You decide. As Jerry is talking, his studio camera is widening until (X) Calvin appears on screen, too. 39 BACK TO SCENE 39 Lois and Clark are appalled. Calvin is very excited. CALVIN There I am! There I am! I'm so photogenic! JERRY (T.V.) (X) (oily sincerity) We tried to contact Superman to hear his side of the story... (he's lying) ... but The Man of Steel apparently feels he's not answerable to anyone. Well, we'll see if he's answerable to the law. ELISE You look good on TV, Calvin. The TV Calvin has started talking, and Elise is talking over him. CALVIN Shhh! Shhh! CALVIN (T.V.) According to the doctor my attorney found for me, I have permanent nerve damage, I'll never play the guitar again. GROANS of sympathy from the audience. Lois is watching the TV, her head turned away from Clark, who has had just about all of Calvin Dregg that he can take. CALVIN (T.V.) And Superman didn't even apologize. That's it. Clark lowers his glasses and aims his HEAT VISION at the TV, which sizzles, pops and dies. Calvin is beside himself, and of course, he blames Elise. (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Pink Rev. 3/28/95 27A. 39 CONTINUED: 39 CALVIN You idiot! You bought a defective TV! I have to find another one! He bolts from the scene. Elise follows. Lois and Clark look at each other. CLARK Unpleasant. She's gazing at him. (X) (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Pink Rev. 3/28/95 28. 39 CONTINUED: 2 39 CLARK What? (X) LOIS Well? CLARK Well what? LOIS Time to talk. Clark opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. LOIS (CONT'D) We had a _date_, Clark. And you just disappeared and you never came back. CLARK (stalls) I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say, Lois. LOIS The truth. I'm at the point now with this, with us, that I need to hear the truth. Whatever it is. Trapped. Trapped like a fly in a sticky web. At this moment, we hear, from somewhere O.S., a faintish SQUEAL OF BRAKES. Clark reacts. If Clark Kent were capable of saying, "Oh, shit!!" -- now would be the time. CLARK I'm really sorry, Lois -- He rushes OUT OF FRAME. Lois may pop an artery. 40 40 THRU OMITTED THRU 41 41 42 EXT. STREET - DAY 42 CLOSE ON the back bumper of a taxi as Superman drags it to a halt inches shy of a crosswalk. (This should be around a corner somewhere, out of Lois' view.) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Pink Rev. 3/28/95 28A. 43 WIDER 43 as a dozen pedestrians drop what they were doing and try to crowd into the taxi, pretending they were in it and moaning and carrying on like they've been injured in the rescue. Superman stands there looking harassed and powerless. 44 EXT. SIDEWALK CAFE - DAY 44 Lois goes from apoplexy to cold fury. She snags a passing waiter. LOIS Excuse me... (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Goldenrod Rev. 3/30/95 29. 44 CONTINUED: 44 She takes the waiter's pad and pen from him and writes a brief note as: LOIS (CONT'D) If my friend comes back, will you give him this, please. She stomps off. A moment after she disappears, Clark returns, looks around. The waiter hands him the note and moves off. Clark looks down at it: 45 INSERT - THE NOTE 45 "Just forget it." 46 BACK TO SCENE 46 On Clark's forlorn expression -- 47 INT. CLARK'S APARTMENT - NIGHT #3 47 Clark's sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. He looks up as there's a KNOCK on the door. 48 AT THE DOOR 48 He opens it to find MARTHA and JONATHAN standing there. MARTHA We saw the Jerry show... (X) CLARK Boy, am I glad to see you. 49 INT. CLARK'S APARTMENT - NIGHT 49 A few minutes later. Clark's been catching them up. CLARK ... and that's where I am: Lois hates me, there's a long line of people waiting to sue me and I can't find a lawyer, I don't have time to do my job at the Planet, and Lois hates me. JONATHAN You said that. (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 30. 49 CONTINUED: 49 MARTHA And it's not true. CLARK You didn't see her face. MARTHA She wouldn't get upset if she didn't care. There's silence, then: CLARK I don't think I can do this anymore. JONATHAN Do what? CLARK I really wanted to be able to have a normal life. To have a job and friends and somebody to love... But it's not possible, is it? I can't be two people anymore... MARTHA Oh, honey... CLARK I'm going to have to choose: Clark or Superman. FADE OUT. _END OF ACT TWO_ --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Green Rev. 3/29/95 31. _ACT THREE_ FADE IN: 50 INT. CLARK'S APARTMENT - NIGHT - MINUTES LATER 50 Jonathan and Martha look at their son, concerned, as: JONATHAN Are you saying you don't want to be Superman anymore? CLARK No. I could never stand on a street corner and watch a bus head for a little kid and not do something. MARTHA Then you're saying you can't be Clark? Is that it? CLARK (nods) I think... that's what I'm thinking. (X) 51 EXT. METROPOLIS COURT HOUSE - DAY #4 51 Superman LANDS and walks up the steps. There is a commotion at the doors, a PHALANX of REPORTERS and LAWYERS exiting. The crowd breaks and Superman sees at the center of it: BILL CHURCH, JR., in the middle of giving a statement to the press: (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 32. 51 CONTINUED: 51 BILL, JR. ... no, I'm certainly not bitter and -- (sees Superman) Superman! He moves to him. Press people follow, cameras CLICKING. SUPERMAN Don't tell me you made bail. BILL, JR. Bail? No. They're dropping the charges. SUPERMAN What? BILL, JR. All you need's a good lawyer. Trust me, you're gonna love it in there. He smiles, pats him on the shoulder and moves off, talking to the Press: BILL, JR. (CONT'D) I just signed to write a book on the whole experience, called WHY THIS IS THE GREATEST COUNTRY ON EARTH... Superman just shakes his head and moves into the court. 52 INT. COURT ROOM - DAY 52 Emptying out of ONLOOKERS, but for Superman and Lawyer 1, a brass-knuckle, courtroom SHARPIE, packing up his valise after a day of trial. SHARPIE LAWYER Lemme tell ya a little about my strategy in a case like this, Superman. I don't just beat the other side... I kill them. You think I'm kidding? (a mad gleam in his eye) I am not kidding. 53 INT. COURT HALL - DAY 53 Superman with a silky SMILER of a lawyer. (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 33. 53 CONTINUED: 53 SMILER LAWYER You're right to shop carefully for an attorney. I've handled dozens of cases 1 e this and none of them have ever gone to trial. I've always settled amicably and cheaply. SUPERMAN That's great. How? SMILER LAWYER Find the plaintiff's darkest secret and threaten to print it unless they back off. (offers a dish) Mint? 54 INT. COURT ROOM - DAY 54 Back to the Sharpie, getting heated: SHARPIE LAWYER You choke 'em on paperwork, cut off their air, then go after their families, friends and when their bones are breaking in your fists -- SUPERMAN I don't think SHARPIE LAWYER You squeeze harder! 55 INT. COURT ANTEROOM - DAY 55 Superman sits with a seasoned old PRO. PRO LAWYER Superman, you're the one being exploited here and I've got an idea. Let's sue them. And not just them -- let's go after those guys selling Superman t-shirts and not cutting you in and the comic books, let's get you a little taste of that action. (as Superman tries to interrupt) I know, I know, no money, right? Don't worry, the first few are on me, pro bono... if you just sign over the TV movie rights to me. --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 34. 56 INT. COURT ROOM - DAY 56 Back to the Sharpie in a pantomiming, red-faced apoplexy: SHARPIE LAWYER ... kill, kill, kill! SUPERMAN I, uh, really have to... go rescue someone... or something... SHARPIE LAWYER (suddenly calm, checks watch) Oh, yeah, I'm late for yoga. Listen, we'll talk soon, huh? Superman just nods absently and gets the hell away from this lunatic. 57 EXT. COURT HOUSE - DAY 57 Superman comes out fast, takes a deep breath, moves to a bench and sits, exhausted. A LITTLE GIRL walks up. GIRL You look sad, Superman. SUPERMAN I'm okay. GIRL Want a hug? He nods. She loops her arms around his neck and gives him a squeeze and a peck on the cheek. Then -- GIRL (CONT'D) Don't be a Mr. Gloomy Pants. SUPERMAN I'll try. She turns and skips off. LOIS (O.S.) Careful, I might get jealous. He turns. Lois is coming out of the court house. She sits next to him. SUPERMAN Lois... what are you doing here? (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Blue Blue Rev. 4/4/95 35. 57 CONTINUED: 57 LOIS Checking out this bum who's suing you. He's got quite a record back in England. Loved to sue people. Loved to _get_ sued so he could counter-sue. Now I think that establishes a real pattern... SUPERMAN It would if it were admissible. LOIS You can't use this? But it proves he's... he's vindictively litigious. SUPERMAN (getting up) Sorry, Lois. Thanks for trying. LOIS Tell me what I can do to help. Please. SUPERMAN I'm afraid this is a battle I've got to fight on my own. LOIS But I -- There's more she'd like to say but he takes off with a WHOOSH. LOIS (CONT'D) -- oh, no, I had nothing else to say, I was finished... thanks. (X) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Blue Blue Rev. 4/4/95 36. 58 OMITTED 58 59 INT. DARK HALLWAY - NIGHT #4 59 Dan steps out of the shadows, wearing a suit and tie. A man appears. Dressed in an expensive suit, with an air of authority, this is CHARLES KNOX. He carries a steel attache case. DAN Hi. Charles Knox, right? Dan Scardino, FDA. (points to case) Is that money? He hefts it onto a sill and snaps it open. It's stuffed tight with cash. KNOX Let's talk dates. DAN We hardly know each other, but hell, if you're paying... Knox steps into Dan's face, menacing: KNOX Go be Chuckles the Clown on your time; on my clock, shut your mouth. Now... we want FDA approval on the drug. We want it by the first of the year. And we want it guaranteed. DAN You got it. Knox walks off, leaving the case. Dan hefts the case and walks down the hall to the elevator, pushes the button, waits. Then, from behind him -- LOIS So this is what you didn't want me to find out about. (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 37. 59 CONTINUED: 59 He whirls. There she is. PING. The elevator arrives. she moves past him, coolly, into the car. He scrambles after her, agitated. 60 INT. ELEVATOR - NIGHT 60 The doors close. DAN Lois, there are things going on you can't know about... LOIS Really (checks notes) Like, you're posing as a corrupt FDA researcher? And the man you just met is the President of (X) Omnicorp, which wants to push through a new painkiller called... (flips to new page) ... Nirvana, which the DEA suspects might have mind-altering affects? (X) DAN How did you -- ? LOIS Hel-looo? I'm a reporter, remember? TIGHTEN ON the metal case -- and WE SEE there is a tiny (X) metal microphone in the side, near the seam. 61 INT. DARK HALLWAY - NIGHT 61 Around the corner from where Dan and Knox met. Knox is listening to Lois and Dan on a small, hand-held radio. LOIS (V.O.) Is that why you won't talk to me about your work? Because you don't trust me? TIGHT ON Knox, listening. 62 INT. ANOTHER HALL - NIGHT 62(X) Lois and Dan emerge from the elevator. (X) (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 38. 62 CONTINUED: 62 LOIS You think that whatever I find out about I'm going to print, is that it? DAN Lois -- stay away from this. (X) LOIS Excuse me -- ? DAN Stay -- LOIS -- what am I, a house pet? He accidentally bangs the attache into something, SMASHING the bug. 63 INT. DARK HALL - NIGHT 63 Knox's transmitter goes dead. 64 INT. ANOTHER HALL - NIGHT 64(X) LOIS All you talk about is how evasive Clark is and Clark always disappears mysteriously but you (X) know what? At least Clark trusts me... and he knows I'd never use someone close to me just to get a story. So. Here are all my notes on your case. Good luck. She hands them over, turns and walks off. (X) 65 INT. DARK HALL - NIGHT 65 Knox shuts off the radio and lifts a cel phone. KNOX Mr. Church? Charles Knox. 66 INTERCUT BILL CHURCH, JR. - IN HIS LIMO 66 with a couple of GORGEOUS WOMEN. (X) KNOX I've got bad news. (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 39. 66 CONTINUED: 66 BILL, JR. I admire your bluntness... and your courage. KNOX It's about Operation Nirvana... BILL, JR. Nirvana... ahhhh ... ? KNOX It's a synthetic nerve block we were developing... disguised as aspirin? Makes people susceptible to suggestion? BILL, JR. Right, right, right, people take it for headaches, then buy our crap because they'll just believe what they're told. What's the problem? One of the Girls lets out a giggle. KNOX Are you alone, sir? BILL, JR. (eyeing the babes) (X) I just got out of _jail_ Knox. (X) KNOX A DEA agent and a reporter are (X) onto us... (X) BILL, JR. (to Driver) Pull over. 67 EXT. STREET MINUTES LATER 67 Two very pissed off Gorgeous Women stand next to the idling limo. 68 INT. BILL, JR.'S LIMO - NIGHT 68 Bill, Jr. alone. BILL, JR. Lane and this agent. They're both testifying at the Superman trial, aren't they? (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 40. 68 CONTINUED: 68 KNOX I think I read that. BILL, JR. Wouldn't it be sweetly ironic if (X) something happened to them right under his nose? Might put the last nail in the coffin of his career? KNOX Yes, yes it would -- BILL, JR. Get right on that. (opens door) Oh, girls, we can pick up where we left off now... 69 INT. CONSTANCE HUNTER'S OFFICE - NIGHT 69 Constance and Superman in mid-conversation. (X) SUPERMAN I can't find a lawyer I'd want to (X) spend five minutes with, let alone entrust my career to. _Please_. CONSTANCE You're being pathetic. (X) SUPERMAN I know, I'm sorry... CONSTANCE Don't say you're sorry, it's pathetic... I can't say no to pathetic, I never could... and _you_ being pathetic is... really pathetic. SUPERMAN Ms. Hunter, I thought I'd seen every kind of evil there is... every perversion of man, law and God. And I thought I knew how to fight them all. But there's something out there I've never really seen before and I _can't_ fight it because I don't understand it. Greed. I need an ally, Ms. Hunter, someone who does understand it but doesn't want to be a part of it... and if that's pathetic, well... (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Green Rev. 3/29/95 41. 69 CONTINUED: 69 CONSTANCE God, just once, I'd like to have a client come in here with a case I thought I could win. SUPERMAN You'll do it? CONSTANCE Go... wherever it is you go and rest up. We'll start at nine tomorrow. You bring the bagels. THE SCENE ENDS AS THE SONG 'OLD LOVE' BY ERIC CLAPTON TAKES US THROUGH A MUSICAL MONTAGE WITH LOIS AND CLARK: 70 OMITTED 70 --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 42. 71 INT. LOIS' APARTMENT - BEDROOM - NIGHT 71 She lies in bed, on her back, and stares at the ceiling. 72 INT. CLARK'S APARTMENT - NIGHT 72 He flops down on the couch. 73 INT. LOIS' APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT 73 She pads in, picks up a book, nuts it down, looks at the phone, then puts a pillow overall. 74 INT. CLARK'S APARTMENT - NIGHT 74 He turns on the TV, turns it right off, gets up and paces. 75 INT. LOIS' APARTMENT - NIGHT 75 She paces into frame, eating ice cream. 76 INT. CLARK'S APARTMENT - NIGHT 76 He stops pacing, looks down and sees the phone. 77 INT. LOIS' APARTMENT - NIGHT 77 She pushes the pillow off, picks her phone up and dials. 78 INT. CLARK'S APARTMENT - NIGHT 78 He has the phone in his hand now and dials, finishes, waits. 79 INT. LOIS' APARTMENT - NIGHT 79 She SLAMS the phone down. 80 INT. CLARK'S APARTMENT - NIGHT 80 He SLAMS the phone down and SHATTERS it into a hundred bits. 81 EXT. LOIS' APARTMENT - NIGHT 81 She comes out into the night and goes for a walk. 82 EXT. CLARK'S APARTMENT - TERRACE - NIGHT 82 Superman takes off and goes for a fly. --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 43. 83 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 83 Lois turns a corner. 84 EXT. SKY - NIGHT 84 Superman soars and stretches, yawns. 85 EXT. CLARK'S APARTMENT - NIGHT 85 Lois comes into view and peers at Clark's front door. Sees it's dark inside, turns and goes back. 86 EXT. SKY - NIGHT 86 Superman banks out of frame. 87 EXT. LOIS' APARTMENT - NIGHT 87 Late. Lois walks back to her front door. Dan is sitting on the stoop. MUSIC UNDER, as: DAN Hey. LOIS Hey. DAN I thought about what a jerk I was... LOIS Dan... DAN Thought given the _size_ of my jerkiness... maybe roses... maybe jewelry... maybe a Lear jet... LOIS We both overreacted. DAN I didn't bring you anything, Lois, because I don't want to dazzle you... I just want to be with you. So. Can we... talk? He gestures to the door. LOIS Sure. (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 44. 87 CONTINUED: 87 MUSIC BACK UP as they move up her stoop and into her building WE WIDEN TO REVEAL Superman across the street, in the shadows, as his face sets, more sad than angry, and he takes off. 87A EXT. SKY - NIGHT 87A Superman flies, totally bummed. (X) FADE OUT: _END OF ACT THREE_ --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Green Rev. 3/29/95 45. _ACT FOUR_ FADE IN: 87B INT. CLARK'S APARTMENT - DAY #5 87B Clark and the Kents over breakfast. (X) JONATHAN But how do you give up being who (X) you are? CLARK Pretend to move overseas, build (X) myself some secret lair to live (X) in... I don't know, I haven't (X) sorted it all out yet... But I (X) just can't keep this up, I can't (X) keep lying to Lois and hurting (X) her. MARTHA And what if you lose your case? (X) What happens to Superman then? (X) Off Clark's inability to predict the future: (X) 88 INT. DR. FRISKIN'S OFFICE - DAY 88 Lois and Dr. Friskin, in mid-session. LOIS So what you're saying is, all my life I've basically been attracting men who are controlling or incomplete or downright liars because... because... DR. FRISKIN Keep going. LOIS ... because I like being treated like that? But wait, then how come if I like this kind of man and I always seem to set this kind of man, I'm not happy? DR. FRISKIN You like chocolate, right? But you know it's bad for you. And the older and wiser you get, the less tolerance you have for something that's bad for you. You're not a victim, Lois... (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Green Rev. 3/29/95 45A. 88 CONTINUED: 88 These words hit Lois hard. DR. FRISKIN (CONT'D) ... so stop acting like one. You know who you want to be with. You've known all along. The problem is, he's just as scared as you are. So... which one of you is going to step up and say the scary words? LOIS How come you never ask simple questions? DR. FRISKIN I would if I knew any simple answers. 89 EXT. COURT HOUSE - TO ESTABLISH - DAY 89 --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Yellow Rev. 3/28/95 46 90 INT. COURT ROOM - DAY 90 Moments before Superman's trial. On one side of the bar, Calvin and Barker; behind them, in the gallery, Elise. On the other side, Superman and Constance; behind them in the gallery, Perry, Jimmy, Dan and Lois. The room is packed, dotted with PEOPLE in neck braces, slings and bandages. LOIS (studying the faux infirm) Look at this... the next wave of injured plaintiffs. (shakes head) Amazing. Superman's spent his whole career fighting mega-criminals and he's getting brought down by a mealy-mouthed talk show whiner and his sycophantic mouthpiece. PERRY Says just a little too much about the society we live in right now. LOIS (looks around) Where's Clark? PERRY He told me he was going to Smallville for a few days. LOIS Why? PERRY Got a few personal things to take care of. I'm a little worried about him. Hasn't been himself lately. Lois tries to hide the effect of another disappointment. Perry leans over and whispers to Jimmy: PERRY (CONT'D) See The Nature Station last night? (X) JIMMY (nods) The Male Blue-Headed Whipperwill always returns to its birth nest... PERRY ... after an unsuccessful attempt at mating. (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 47. 90 CONTINUED: 90 Both men nod sagely and glance at Lois. Dan, sitting beside her, takes her hand. JIMMY Then you've got your Rain Forest Koka Monkey... PERRY ... movin' in on the female the _second_ the male's in another tree. JIMMY We're just this far -- (holds fingers an inch apart) -- from the jungle, huh, Chief? PERRY If that, son, if that. Sitting at the bar, Superman glances back and sees Dan holding Lois's hand. He tries not to let it hurt. Lois sees the look on his face. Their eyes meet for a second, she's curious, then... The JUDGE enters, everyone rises. 91 INT. COURT ROOM - WITNESS STAND - LATER 91 Elise on the stand, nervous, under direct exam by Barker: ELISE ... and Calvin hasn't been able to use his hand since. BARKER Completely paralyzed? ELISE Yes. Completely. BARKER And what about his moods? ELISE Oh, they're... mmmm, they're bad... um, he's not himself. (X) The Judge glances at Calvin. Calvin slumps low in his chair and shields his eyes with his hand, a mournful and forlorn figure of suffering and sorrow. Lois looks at Calvin, disgusted. LOIS I smell ham... (then glares at Elise) and cheese. --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Pink Rev. 3/28/95 48. 92 EXT. PARK ACROSS FROM COURT HOUSE - DAY 92 Knox with a well-dressed ASSASSIN, both kneeling in front of an open attache case. ASSASSIN It's silent, no moving parts, just two globs of liquid C-12, (X) separated by this little piece of plastic. Start your acid eating through and in five minutes, (X) whammo. Always wanted to try this (X) little sucker... right under Superman's nose. We see what's in the attache case now: a high-tech bomb. The Assassin closes the case and locks it. KNOX Just remember, it can't look like Scardino and Lane were the only targets... ASSASSIN It won't. (X) They move out of the park, toward the court house. 93 INT. COURT HALL - DAY 93 A break in the proceedings. People mill. Elise gets some water. Lois walks up. LOIS Can I ask you a question? How can you lie on the stand like that for a man who won't even admit he's married to you? Elise looks at her, like a deer caught in headlights. ELISE How... how did you... ? LOIS The kind of degradation you'll tolerate in your personal life is your business -- but you're ruining an innocent man and I'm not going to sit by and ELISE (moving off) Leave me alone (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 49. 93 CONTINUED: 93 LOIS He doesn't love you, Elise. (this stops her) You know when a man loves you by (X) the way he treats you, by the way he looks at you... the way he -- (X) ELISE Look, Miss Lane, if you've got the perfect man, I'm happy for you but I -- LOIS He's about as far from perfect as you can be but I'll tell you the difference between him and Calvin -- he wants my happiness more than his own. I feel it every second I'm with him, and sometimes there aren't enough of those seconds and the ones we _do_ have end a little abruptly but Elise, Calvin doesn't feel that way about you and someday he'll prove it in the ugliest way he can. Elise, stunned, moves back to court. A man bumps her from behind and mutters an excuse. As he slips into the courtroom, we see it's the Assassin, with his attache case. 94 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 94 The Assassin sets his attache in the aisle near Lois and Dan, twists the snap-lock and -- 95 INSERT - INSIDE THE CASE 95 as the acid burns through the plastic separating the two forms of liquid explosive. Smoke rises and curls. 96 INT. COURT ROOM - DAY 96 The Assassin gets up and exits the court room, just as Superman under direct exam by Constance: CONSTANCE Sitting here, listening to all this damning testimony, I'd like to know... why do you want to _be_ Superman? It seems to me it's never offered you much but exposure to danger and ridicule... (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 50. 96 CONTINUED: 96 SUPERMAN No, that's not true. CONSTANCE Explain. SUPERMAN All the things I can do... the powers I have... I've asked myself a thousand times, why? And the only answer I could come up with is: to help. As quickly and decisively as possible. And maybe because of that, I've been a target (he looks at Lois) ... and maybe there are some things I'll never have... but when I can save a life, well... in that instant, I know two things most (X) people never figure out: why I'm here and how I can make a difference. A hush in the courtroom. Superman cocks his head and sniffs the air, as if smelling something for the first time. CONSTANCE Your witness. CALVIN (whispers to Barker) Fry him. BARKER In oil, kid, in oil. (rising) Well, that was a heart-rending speech. Can I get anybody a tissue? SUPERMAN Do you smell something? BARKER What? 97 INSERT - INSIDE THE ATTACHE CASE 97 As the plastic burns and the two liquids begins to mix and bubble. --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 51. 98 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 98 Superman gets up, sniffing the air. SUPERMAN I've smelled it before... BARKER Your Honor... SUPERMAN I'm sorry, your Honor, but I think what I'm smelling is C-12, it's an explosive... (sniffs) ... and it's burning, somewhere in here... BARKER Oh, please, this is the most disgraceful form of courtroom theatrics I've _ever_ witnessed. LOIS Listen to him... 99 INSERT IN THE CASE 99 and the liquid bubbling furiously, rattling and shaking. 100 INT. COURT - DAY 100 Superman moves into the gallery, sniffing and searching. BARKER (getting in Superman's face) I suppose next you'll tell us we're all going to die. PERRY Mister, you don't back off and let him do his job, you're gonna be suing _me_ for assault. BARKER I hope everyone heard that! CALVIN I did! JIMMY Naturally. (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 52. 100 CONTINUED: 100 LOIS Superman, should we evacuate the building? SUPERMAN Everyone stay calm, I think... yes, it's right... (picks up Assassin's attache) ... here. He opens it, revealing the bubbling, smoking bomb. PEOPLE jump and SCREAM, startled and terrified. ELISE Oh, my God... Superman hugs the bomb to him and takes off, going straight up in a whooshing BLUE AND RED BLUR. The sound of Superman CRASHING through the ceiling. Plaster chunks and bits of dust cascade down. Some of it lands on Calvin. He starts to dust it off, annoyed, then a thought strikes Barry Barker, who nudges Calvin, and suddenly "in agony" -- CALVIN My eyes! He makes a blind-man grope and tumbles over a chair. Elise and Barker kneel to him. BARKER Calvin, Calvin... are you all right? Someone get a doctor! Then the SOUND of an ENORMOUS BLAST echoes from above. Everyone looks up, frozen. The doors open and Superman strides in, smoke sizzling off his suit, holding the charred remains of the bomb in his hands. DAN If I had to guess, I'd say that was meant for me... SUPERMAN Agent Scardino you should have your lab get on this. He hands it over. DAN Thanks. (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 53. 100 CONTINUED: 2 100 He bolts from the room. LOIS Superman, are you all right? Before he can answer -- CALVIN I... I can't see... the dust in my eyes... oh, dear Lord -- I'M BLIND! BLIND! BARKER Is there no end to the suffering Superman causes? ELISE (suddenly rising) Oh, shut _up_! Barker turns to her, stunned. So does Calvin. CALVIN Elise...? ELISE I have had it with you, Calvin! We'd be _dead_ if it wasn't for Superman! And there's nothing wrong with your eyes, except you can't see anything but yourself! BARKER Your Honor -- ELISE (ripping sling off) And your arm will be fine! (to Judge) And he'll play guitar just as bad as he ever did! He just wanted the money and he got me to lie for him! CALVIN (trying to shush her) Elise... honey... (X) ELISE (with quiet determination) You don't speak for me anymore, Calvin. I want a divorce... not that anyone ever knew we were married. (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 54. 100 CONTINUED: 3 100 She catches Lois' eye, who gives her a nod: well done. CONSTANCE Your Honor, in view of this new evidence... JUDGE Save it, counselor. The Judge BANGS his gavel. JUDGE (CONT'D) Case dismissed. BARKER (to Elise) Do you need a lawyer? CUT TO: 101 INT. COURT HALL - DAY 101 As the court empties out, Superman takes a moment with Constance. SUPERMAN Well... I guess your losing streak is over, Ms. Hunter. CONSTANCE It didn't hurt that you saved the judge's life... tends to make him lenient. SUPERMAN (holds out his hand) Thank you for believing in me. CONSTANCE No, Superman... thank _you_. They share a warm look, then she moves off. Lois walks out of court with Elise. ELISE I'm sort of looking forward to being single again... I have a feeling there are so many wonderful, caring, exciting men out there, just waiting. Lois gives Elise her best encouraging smile. (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Pink Rev. 3/28/95 55. 101 CONTINUED: 101 LOIS And... and good for you. (X) She breaks from Lois and walks off. Superman approaches. (X) LOIS (CONT'D) Congratulations. She kisses his cheek and looks at him, in wonder. SUPERMAN What? LOIS I think I understand something I didn't before. Why I don't really know you. Why no one does. You live.. (indicates the sky) ... above us, and when we try to bring you down here, we just show the worst sides of ourselves. I've tried to love you but I realized today how selfish that is. You're not _just_ here for me you're here for all of us. (pause) I'll always need you... and I'll always be your friend but there's someone down here who needs _me_... if I can just figure out how to get him to see it. Another kiss on the cheek and she turns. SUPERMAN Lois, I need -- She stops. So does she. SUPERMAN (CONT'D) -- to say... thank you. For being such a good friend. He gives her a smile, then turns and walks down the hall. She watches till he's gone with an O.S. WHOOSH that blows back her hair. --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Green Rev. 3/29/95 56. 102 INT. CLARK'S APARTMENT - NIGHT #5 102 The apartment is a mass of suitcases and boxes. Jonathan, (X) Martha and Clark pack and sort. JONATHAN I can't do this. I'm sorry, Martha. I know we said we wouldn't stick out noses in, but Clark -- this is wrong, you can't give up (X) your whole life like this. (X) CLARK (re: the suitcases) Look, I don't want to do this, okay? But I don't see any other way that's fair to Lois. (X) MARTHA Clark, if Lois is the problem, why are you running away? (X) CLARK What are you saying? That I (X) should just tell her that I'm... (X) I'm... ? MARTHA I'm not saying anything. And (X) before we stick our noses in any further -- (exiting with Jonathan) We're going out for Chinese. 103 INT. LOIS' APARTMENT - NIGHT 103 There's a knock at the door, she opens it and there's Dan, with a copy of the Planet and the headline's "OMNICORP'S KNOX ARRESTED". Beneath are photos of Knox and the Assassin. "Exclusive by Lois Lane." DAN Congrats. LOIS Dan, come on in. He comes in and as he does, he produces a bouquet. DAN Sorry. Couldn't help myself. She takes them and smiles. --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Green Rev. 3/29/95 56A. 104 INT. CLARK'S APARTMENT - NIGHT 104 Clark is alone, on the phone. RINGING, then the sound of Lois' machine picking up. He hangs up. 105 ON TV - THE HOST OF THE NATURE STATION 105 is talking to us: (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Pink Rev. 3/28/95 57. 105 CONTINUED: 105 PFINCH-LUPUS (T.V.) And so what are we to learn from the mating habits of insects, reptiles and mammals? What does it teach us about ourselves? That we're not the only creatures on the planet capable of caring, (X) betrayal, sorrow, forgiveness... 106 BACK TO SCENE 106 as Lois appears at the door. PFINCH-LUPUS (T.V.) ... and faith. (O.S., to be faded down) (X) That the forces which drive us to (X) the heights of passion and depths (X) of despair, are in deed felt by (X) all creatures, great and small. (X) She knocks. He moves away from the drone of the TV to the door and opens it. LOIS Hi. CLARK Hi. LOIS (peering in) You planning a yard sale? (suddenly shifts gears) Wait, wait. That's a form of distancing. My therapist -- I know, I have a therapist, can you believe it? -- she says I say things like that to distance, so we don't really have to deal with anything and it's very complicated and linked to a lot of boring childhood trauma and... can I come in? As she does -- LOIS I told Superman I just want to be friends... that there's someone else... And Dan and I -- (X) (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) FULL Blue Rev. 3/24/95 58. 106 CONTINUED: 106 CLARK (heated) (X) Look, Lois, if you came here to tell me that you and Dan are... (X) LOIS We're not going to see each other anymore. (X) (off his surprise, looks around) (X) This isn't just vacation packing, is it? This is forever packing. CLARK I was thinking of moving but... (X) now I'm not so sure. (X) LOIS What, you were just going to slip out of town, not even tell me? Maybe send me a post card from -- ? (stops) Distancing, distancing. Sorry. (X) But this is... I mean, _leaving_, I didn't expect this. CLARK Lois, we haven't been very happy with each other lately. And it's my fault and I think I should -- LOIS Yes, it _is_ your fault. And my fault. We let ourselves get distracted and we let ourselves get hurt too easily and we work too much and we argue over stupid things... all so we can hide from each other and I'm sick of it, Clark. Because the only reason we hide is, we're scared. CLARK Of what? LOIS The fact that we're partners... best friends... and _this_. She launches herself at him in a passionate kiss. He's taken aback for a moment, then returns the kiss, deeply and passionately. Lois breaks from the kiss, her lips close to his as she (X) speaks: (CONTINUED) --page break-- WHINE, WHINE, WHINE (#21) Yellow Rev. 3/28/95 59. 106 CONTINUED: 2 106 LOIS (CONT'D) If you want to run away from this, tell me now. CLARK I won't run, Lois. I'm ready for the next step if you are. They kiss again, as we MOVE TO the TV nearby and see a MONTAGE of paired animals nuzzling, hugging... PFINCH-LUPUS (V.O.) We seek the comfort of another... someone to shape and share the life we choose... someone to help us through the never-ending attempt to understand ourselves... and, in the end, someone to comfort us along the way. ... and the final image: two Koala bears, side by side, slumbering in one another's arms. And then REVEAL our Host, stepping in front of the blue screen of the bears. PFINCH-LUPUS For the Nature Station, I'm Marlin (X) Pfinch-Lupus. Good night. FADE OUT: _THE END_