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Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 825
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 825 |
Feedback folder.
Apologies for the delay! I'm trying to make sure I'm at least a chapter ahead of what I'm posting, and I caught a heavy cold last week. Today was the first day since then that my head has been clear enough to write a thing.
"It means never having to play it cool about how much you like something. It's basically a license to proudly emote on a somewhat childish level rather than behave like a supposed adult. Being a geek is extremely liberating."- Simon Pegg
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 4,025
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jan 2009
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I have a new name for this chapter. The Fall of Lois Lane. Clark deserves better.
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Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 825
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 825 |
Yeah, she's definitely showing her worst side in this chapter
"It means never having to play it cool about how much you like something. It's basically a license to proudly emote on a somewhat childish level rather than behave like a supposed adult. Being a geek is extremely liberating."- Simon Pegg
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 4,025
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 4,025 |
Yeah, she's definitely showing her worst side in this chapter She is a bad friend. Clark deserves better. It made me not even feel bad when Jack was pointing out her missing the biggest story under her own nose. Poor Clark! Someone needs to give him a hug.
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Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 825
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 825 |
Well. That chapter went up like a lead balloon. Remind me why I do this again?
Lois is hurt, furious, embarrassed... so she's lashing out.
"It means never having to play it cool about how much you like something. It's basically a license to proudly emote on a somewhat childish level rather than behave like a supposed adult. Being a geek is extremely liberating."- Simon Pegg
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,657 Likes: 10
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,657 Likes: 10 |
Whoa.
I am trying to understand how Lois could be so blinded by her own fury that she refuses to see the truth right in front of her. Yes, Clark has been lying not just to her, but to everyone. Now he is willing to come clean about a secret that if Lex knew they knew would endanger their lives. As Clark said, he only wanted to protect his family and have a normal existence. Certainly there is no harm in that.
This scene was written beautifully, it is not easy to get the reactions of five very different characters and stay within canon this task was accomplished in perfect balance.
Now, it will be fascinating to see how Lois is going to survive in the Bullpen without the backup of the men in her life.
Please don't take too long posting the next part!
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 4,025
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 4,025 |
Well. That chapter went up like a lead balloon. Remind me why I do this again?
Lois is hurt, furious, embarrassed... so she's lashing out. Yeah, I think you've got a lot of lurkers waiting for the end before they chime in I get she's hurt and furious and embarrassed but she's still being a jerk to Clark/ Superman. Looking forward to the next part. Hopefully Lois will start to see reason soon and take the rose colored glasses off and see Lex for who and what he really is. I have to agree with Morgana here: This scene was written beautifully, it is not easy to get the reactions of five very different characters and stay within canon this task was accomplished in perfect balance. You've got us on the edge of our seats biting our nails as we wait to see what Clark's going to do and what Lois does when she leaves the Conference Room. Does she go to Lex? Does she pout? Maybe a trip to the Fudge Castle is in order? GREAT story here!!! **PS if anyone wants to catch up TOC is here ***
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 42
Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: Aug 2010
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Well. That chapter went up like a lead balloon. Remind me why I do this again?
Lois is hurt, furious, embarrassed... so she's lashing out. This is why even "constructive" feedback is rarely written and people feel uncomfortable writing it. Whose definition do we use? The writer's, or the reader's? The two have different definitions in this case. There might not be an exact written rule saying negative or "constructive" feedback is not welcome, but there are plenty of reactions and other comments making it unwelcome. P.S. Will she lash out that brutally at Lex when she discovers the truth? Or is this just how she treats Clark? (Run away fast, Clark. She's not worth it. Come on! Jack will have a car waiting.)
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 4,025
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 4,025 |
Well. That chapter went up like a lead balloon. Remind me why I do this again?
Lois is hurt, furious, embarrassed... so she's lashing out. This is why even "constructive" feedback is rarely written and people feel uncomfortable writing it. Whose definition do we use? The writer's, or the reader's? The two have different definitions in this case. There might not be an exact written rule saying negative or "constructive" feedback is not welcome, but there are plenty of reactions and other comments making it unwelcome. P.S. Will she lash out that brutally at Lex when she discovers the truth? Or is this just how she treats Clark? (Run away fast, Clark. She's not worth it. Come on! Jack will have a car waiting.) Personally, I think you just take away what you feel (as the reader). There may be certain points that don't come across as the writer intended and pointing that out can always be a benefit. We all read the same sentence differently sometimes too depending on our own emotions and backgrounds and experiences. It's what helps make reading so enjoyable time and again. Yes! Jack will have the car waiting...I'm interested to see what happens when Lois FINALLY realizes how badly Luthor has been playing her like a fiddle and betraying her trust. (Takes down note: Keep knives away from Lois...) I don't see forgiveness coming very easily from Clark this time, but I may be proven wrong. **bites nails in anticipation** **Next part, please??**
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Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 571 Likes: 12
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 571 Likes: 12 |
Okay I am all caught up on this story. Please update soon. I really want to see what happens next. I can't believe Lois is so upset, she needs to trust Clark.
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Joined: Jan 2009
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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I'm gonna be the annoying one and sit here and ask: Feli ~ Where's Part 15?? You have a Wallpaper! You're the only one that has a Wallpaper! It has to be finished by December 31st..... Please post more! I'm having dreams about what bad things could happen...cuz I kinda re-read Unmasked yesterday...waiting Part 15 please Make Lois listen to Clark. Make someone go kick Luthor's behind and someone take that green rock away from Lex before he gives himself cancer from the radiation. ~ Me frustrated with all the if scenarios...
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Joined: Jan 2009
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Ahem....BUMP! Alright Feli's muse this is your notice. Get to work! You can't create this much angst and leave us hanging. How does Clark stop Luthor? Will Lois ever see Lex for the psychopathic killer he is and help Clark bring him down? Will Clark have to face Luthor alone? How will these two ever recover? Where are Jonathan and Martha? Will they ever be able to go back home? So many burning questions continue to plague this story.
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